Bursting on a slash on way home to the point where the bag nearly burst. Ran upstairs to toilet pulled the tied cords on trackie bottoms only to get the fucker in a knot...tight !
I had no option but to dive into shower cubicle and let it flow... 
|
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"Now you know why mums say "go before you go out .... just in case you need when you are out".  "
Mums words weren't quite so eloquently put.  
"Hope you not got any outstanding warrants as it can be a long weekend behind bars, lol"
Excluding the register i'm clean |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bursting on a slash on way home to the point where the bag nearly burst. Ran upstairs to toilet pulled the tied cords on trackie bottoms only to get the fucker in a knot...tight !
I had no option but to dive into shower cubicle and let it flow...
"
Watersports .....! |
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By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
As Billy Connolly famously said. Three things you must be sure to be clear about in later life
1 never leave a building without going to the loo
2 if you DO get an erection, USE IT
3 never trust a fart.
Wise words. |
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"As Billy Connolly famously said. Three things you must be sure to be clear about in later life
1 never leave a building without going to the loo
2 if you DO get an erection, USE IT
3 never trust a fart.
Wise words. "
I comply with 2 and 3 |
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Apparently agony is kidney stones lol! dad got them a few times and a stone ripped his uretha then after having a sent fitted to allow it to heal properly he spent an hour in surgery awake with Drs trying to remove it only to discover it was stuck with a calcium build up I don't have a pens but I can't imagine it pleasant having someone try to pull something out of it that was stuck fast! lol! |
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"A rock solid mitre rugby ball at full speed in the nads while on a frozen pitch in the depths of winter!
Ayabass! "
Must be a "mitre" thing mate i recall the old style size 4 football being equally as nippy stingy hitting the arse cheeks whilst facing the goal at a free kick lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lying in a hospital bed a few years ago when an intern was trying to remove a catheter from an old man's John Thomas. For whatever reason it wouldn't budge, and the young Doc decided to just yank the thing out. Can still hear the old boy's cries of pain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A rock solid mitre rugby ball at full speed in the nads while on a frozen pitch in the depths of winter!
Ayabass!
Must be a "mitre" thing mate i recall the old style size 4 football being equally as nippy stingy hitting the arse cheeks whilst facing the goal at a free kick lol "
Definitely! The old ones didn't seem to be made of either leather or plastic, it was some weird hybrid made to deliver maximum sting I think! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A rock solid mitre rugby ball at full speed in the nads while on a frozen pitch in the depths of winter!
Ayabass!
Must be a "mitre" thing mate i recall the old style size 4 football being equally as nippy stingy hitting the arse cheeks whilst facing the goal at a free kick lol
Definitely! The old ones didn't seem to be made of either leather or plastic, it was some weird hybrid made to deliver maximum sting I think! "
Ach, man up ya pair of wooses! |
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", it was some weird hybrid made to deliver maximum sting I think!
A bit like Roxy 
LMAO!!
Now bend over and take it......without a wimper or a moan  "
My cum moan sounds like some fuckers being strangled right enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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", it was some weird hybrid made to deliver maximum sting I think!
A bit like Roxy
LMAO!!
Now bend over and take it......without a wimper or a moan
My cum moan sounds like some fuckers being strangled right enough "
or a few cats in heat!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"_illow pimp pissed his pants
Not only that i never took my phone out pocket, would have been cheaper pissing in george street and taking the fine "
Haaaahaaaa you totally no when we catch up I'll be saying that when we are ...well ya know aaahaaaa brill Hun loadsa lovage pmsl...well u did lol |
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"running out of wine when the shops closed
That's easy solved, call me i will deliver my "emergency" stash 
ermmm didnt think it was red last i looked "
Red stock replenished after you wiped me out last time and nothing under a fiver either see i spoil yeah |
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Auds xx
