FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Lack of response
Lack of response
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"Anyone find that if you message folk to chat, theres an extreme lack of response. Surely a no thanks would suffice?" It would but its usually the ignorant types that don't respond to a genuine polite message. No excuse for it. I do stress however I'm talking of genuine polite messages.  | |||
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"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. "But Fab dosnt get to decide what's rude or not rude though. Not answering with a quick no thx or not interested is rude plain and simple. | |||
"I’m probably guilty of patching couples. If there’s a fanny I’m not getting involved. I’m straight, not fab straight. Just straight. Plus every couple has different wishes and dynamics. It’s a minefield. I come on fab for uncomplicated sex not mind games and second guessing. Sorry." No issues with this if someone is a fanny or clearly not read your profile. | |||
"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send.
But Fab dosnt get to decide what's rude or not rude though.
Not answering with a quick no thx or not interested is rude plain and simple. "Do you answer every unsolicited piece of correspondence you receive, be that txts, emails, messages?! I doubt it. | |||
"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send.
But Fab dosnt get to decide what's rude or not rude though.
Not answering with a quick no thx or not interested is rude plain and simple.
Do you answer every unsolicited piece of correspondence you receive, be that txts, emails, messages?!
I doubt it. "It would depend on the content of said communication.  | |||
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"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send.
But Fab dosnt get to decide what's rude or not rude though.
Not answering with a quick no thx or not interested is rude plain and simple. "No, I don’t agree with you! There are days where I don’t have time to pick through every single message I receive. I shouldn’t need to answer them all. I try to but not always. I would prefer to be seen as rude to randoms on this site rather than ignore and be rude to my children who merit my time! | |||
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" No, I don’t agree with you! There are days where I don’t have time to pick through every single message I receive. I shouldn’t need to answer them all. I try to but not always. I would prefer to be seen as rude to randoms on this site rather than ignore and be rude to my children who merit my time!" I agree with you, I just don't have time or the desire to send 100 'sorry I'm not interested' messages a day, that when I do send that message it's met with anger, insults and generally trying to tell me I'm wrong. We're all strangers at the end of the day can't take it personally. | |||
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"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send.
But Fab dosnt get to decide what's rude or not rude though.
Not answering with a quick no thx or not interested is rude plain and simple.
No, I don’t agree with you! There are days where I don’t have time to pick through every single message I receive. I shouldn’t need to answer them all. I try to but not always.
I would prefer to be seen as rude to randoms on this site rather than ignore and be rude to my children who merit my time!"This, plus it usually means ping pong messages of why not, what’s wrong with or on one fine occasion “can’t you just fit me in”  . I’d think such are the reasons the site has deemed a non response is a polite no thanks and well done too. I sometimes think rather than make fab do photo verify, pay etc they should make everyone answer a wee questionnaire of just a few questions. What does a non response mean? would be one  | |||
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"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx" Well said that woman | |||
"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. We have never assumed anything on a website like this. We are choosy on who we would like to have fun with, hence why we don't have alot of no replies. Likwise our messages are polite and respectful, as we would expect the same in return xx
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"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx" Don’t fret wee mrs, you’re not alone. You do it your way! For your sanity and the sake of your family. xxx | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx Don’t fret wee mrs, you’re not alone. You do it your way! For your sanity and the sake of your family. xxx" Thanks lovely!! You know the score lol xx | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx" fully understand the trials and tribulations of having a single female profile on here, again we don't use this site like some possibly do alike to other social platforms. We are merely looking at it from a couples perspective | |||
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"Anyone find that if you message folk to chat, theres an extreme lack of response. Surely a no thanks would suffice?" Not everyone us the time to reply. Not everyone has the confidence to say “thanks, but no”. Not everyone has the faith that a “no” will be taken well (check back on this and other forums for horror stories of ill-received rejection). People use the site differently - there are possibly a trail of broken hearted and frustrated members who’ve had no response to winks they’ve sent you! As others have said, if you’re an attractive couple then you’d expect to be getting some hits in with the misses. I see from your verification that you’ve obviously had some success, so it can’t be all bad. Could there be something (or a lack of something?) in your message or profile which could be changed? I know as a ‘single’ guy my opinion won’t really concern you, but I and many others I know are put off by the cut and paste “legal” warnings on profiles. I’m not saying this necessarily applies to you, but when I see them I tend to think that the people posting it might not be very critical in their thinking and at risk of being gullible. It makes me question their judgement. Your profile has more ‘warning’ text than profile text (including one paragraph which for some reason talks about Facebook being publicly traded?). They are legal gibberish. They don’t make the slightest bit of difference to your legal rights or the enforcement of same. As the site admins have repeatedly said, they’re just a waste of digital space. You seem like a nice couple - the rest of your profile is great and really sets out what you’re looking for. You’ve obviously been on here a while so I’m sure have had frustrations in that time. Good luck to you in your searching! | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx fully understand the trials and tribulations of having a single female profile on here, again we don't use this site like some possibly do alike to other social platforms. We are merely looking at it from a couples perspective "So your issue is with couples who do not respond to you? You didn’t make that clear at any point in the thread until now. Just saying! | |||
If it's a polite message IL reply.
If it's a 1 word couldn't give a toss what you look like I just want a shag message
Delete. | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx" OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . | |||
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"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx fully understand the trials and tribulations of having a single female profile on here, again we don't use this site like some possibly do alike to other social platforms. We are merely looking at it from a couples perspective
So your issue is with couples who do not respond to you? You didn’t make that clear at any point in the thread until now.
Just saying!"We dom't have an issue with anyone on here... so please don't look for something thats not there.. We merely posed a question in the forum | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . " your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap | |||
"If a guy messages me who I'm not interested in then I reply with a polite thanks but no thanks. Most of them appreciate it too x" Totally agree - to me this is worth a lot… simple manners go some distance! | |||
"Anyone find that if you message folk to chat, theres an extreme lack of response. Surely a no thanks would suffice? Not everyone us the time to reply. Not everyone has the confidence to say “thanks, but no”. Not everyone has the faith that a “no” will be taken well (check back on this and other forums for horror stories of ill-received rejection). People use the site differently - there are possibly a trail of broken hearted and frustrated members who’ve had no response to winks they’ve sent you! As others have said, if you’re an attractive couple then you’d expect to be getting some hits in with the misses. I see from your verification that you’ve obviously had some success, so it can’t be all bad. Could there be something (or a lack of something?) in your message or profile which could be changed? I know as a ‘single’ guy my opinion won’t really concern you, but I and many others I know are put off by the cut and paste “legal” warnings on profiles. I’m not saying this necessarily applies to you, but when I see them I tend to think that the people posting it might not be very critical in their thinking and at risk of being gullible. It makes me question their judgement. Your profile has more ‘warning’ text than profile text (including one paragraph which for some reason talks about Facebook being publicly traded?). They are legal gibberish. They don’t make the slightest bit of difference to your legal rights or the enforcement of same. As the site admins have repeatedly said, they’re just a waste of digital space. You seem like a nice couple - the rest of your profile is great and really sets out what you’re looking for. You’ve obviously been on here a while so I’m sure have had frustrations in that time. Good luck to you in your searching! " Thanks for the constructive feedback, appreciate it. We are Happy to listen to others opinions hence the post. Yes we have probably experienced our number of frustrations alike to others on here also. Again we are selective on what or who takes our fancy be it single males females or couples | |||
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"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap " Agree there, the thread has many comments giving views from all different users. As far as women are concerned too, to restrict your inbox they way you’d need to also restricts choice as well as input from other forum users. Personally I enjoy the social side of the site too and just feel that if people found out more of the site rules and etiquette they would enjoy the site more and get better results  | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap Agree there, the thread has many comments giving views from all different users. As far as women are concerned too, to restrict your inbox they way you’d need to also restricts choice as well as input from other forum users. Personally I enjoy the social side of the site too and just feel that if people found out more of the site rules and etiquette they would enjoy the site more and get better results "We value everyones opinion on this post, we don't use the site for the social side though but rather as a conduit to enhance our sex life. | |||
" So your issue is with couples who do not respond to you? You didn’t make that clear at any point in the thread until now. Just saying! We dom't have an issue with anyone on here... so please don't look for something thats not there.. We merely posed a question in the forum "You’ve picked me up wrong. Your op was not aimed any one demographic but further on you imply it’s only couples perspective that you value. I’m explaining why you have the opinions of single women thrown into the mix. I’m not trying to pick a fight, just suggesting you pose your question with more clarity in order to find the information you require. | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . " I just meant if I'm not playing that night, or looking for a new single male etc. If I wasn't playing, I would hide my profile. Also, why would I block someone simply because I'm not interested? I feel that's quite rude to the other party, who would then question why I had blocked them for no apparent reason. And, there's nothing more frustrating than a full inbox. I like a nice clean and tidy one  | |||
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"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap " I second this!  | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap Agree there, the thread has many comments giving views from all different users. As far as women are concerned too, to restrict your inbox they way you’d need to also restricts choice as well as input from other forum users. Personally I enjoy the social side of the site too and just feel that if people found out more of the site rules and etiquette they would enjoy the site more and get better results "Agree with you flirt but you can't have it both ways , that's kind of my point . Women can't complain about having to many messages when it's easily within their powers to reduce those messages ie using tighter filters or doing as I say , polite no thx then block to prevent having to repeat yourself every 2 weeks as the guy keeps on asking. As for site etiquette, I still believe a no reply is rude under certain circumstances as I've already explained. If your profile is on show then your asking for messages as far as I'm concerned , unless stated on your profile otherwise of course. So since your showing your profile you should be prepared for attention and reply to that attention. Ps not directly meaning you , just in general. | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap Agree there, the thread has many comments giving views from all different users. As far as women are concerned too, to restrict your inbox they way you’d need to also restricts choice as well as input from other forum users. Personally I enjoy the social side of the site too and just feel that if people found out more of the site rules and etiquette they would enjoy the site more and get better results
Agree with you flirt but you can't have it both ways , that's kind of my point .
Women can't complain about having to many messages when it's easily within their powers to reduce those messages ie using tighter filters or doing as I say , polite no thx then block to prevent having to repeat yourself every 2 weeks as the guy keeps on asking. As for site etiquette, I still believe a no reply is rude under certain circumstances as I've already explained.
If your profile is on show then your asking for messages as far as I'm concerned , unless stated on your profile otherwise of course. So since your showing your profile you should be prepared for attention and reply to that attention.
Ps not directly meaning you , just in general. "Yep I see your point but those that complain of not getting messages back are actually in the wrong and if they then become abusive, doubly wrong. Why should someone using the site to full advantage inhibit that use for those that are not using it as per its rules | |||
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"Well what you have exchanged a few messages, think you are building up some rapport, ask are you interested yes or no then get blanked… That’s rude. I always say if your not interested a simple no thanks. And then always reply ok no worries " That particular scenario is rude, you do get them. People do get cold feet or… you dodged the proverbial bullet as oft said here | |||
cough cough | |||
"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. "This. I even point this out in my profile as apparently no one seems to read the FAQs | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap Agree there, the thread has many comments giving views from all different users. As far as women are concerned too, to restrict your inbox they way you’d need to also restricts choice as well as input from other forum users. Personally I enjoy the social side of the site too and just feel that if people found out more of the site rules and etiquette they would enjoy the site more and get better results
Agree with you flirt but you can't have it both ways , that's kind of my point .
Women can't complain about having to many messages when it's easily within their powers to reduce those messages ie using tighter filters or doing as I say , polite no thx then block to prevent having to repeat yourself every 2 weeks as the guy keeps on asking. As for site etiquette, I still believe a no reply is rude under certain circumstances as I've already explained.
If your profile is on show then your asking for messages as far as I'm concerned , unless stated on your profile otherwise of course. So since your showing your profile you should be prepared for attention and reply to that attention.
Ps not directly meaning you , just in general.
Yep I see your point but those that complain of not getting messages back are actually in the wrong and if they then become abusive, doubly wrong. Why should someone using the site to full advantage inhibit that use for those that are not using it as per its rules "It's worth pointing out that, without putting blocks on certain people or certain groups of people, I've tried my best to make it abundantly clear on my profile as to what I'm looking for. Including living within a certain distance, not looking to chat much etc. Why should I be 'polite' and reply to them, when they're not being polite and sticking to the preferences I've set out?xx | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap Agree there, the thread has many comments giving views from all different users. As far as women are concerned too, to restrict your inbox they way you’d need to also restricts choice as well as input from other forum users. Personally I enjoy the social side of the site too and just feel that if people found out more of the site rules and etiquette they would enjoy the site more and get better results
Agree with you flirt but you can't have it both ways , that's kind of my point .
Women can't complain about having to many messages when it's easily within their powers to reduce those messages ie using tighter filters or doing as I say , polite no thx then block to prevent having to repeat yourself every 2 weeks as the guy keeps on asking. As for site etiquette, I still believe a no reply is rude under certain circumstances as I've already explained.
If your profile is on show then your asking for messages as far as I'm concerned , unless stated on your profile otherwise of course. So since your showing your profile you should be prepared for attention and reply to that attention.
Ps not directly meaning you , just in general.
Yep I see your point but those that complain of not getting messages back are actually in the wrong and if they then become abusive, doubly wrong. Why should someone using the site to full advantage inhibit that use for those that are not using it as per its rules
It's worth pointing out that, without putting blocks on certain people or certain groups of people, I've tried my best to make it abundantly clear on my profile as to what I'm looking for. Including living within a certain distance, not looking to chat much etc. Why should I be 'polite' and reply to them, when they're not being polite and sticking to the preferences I've set out?xx"Maybe they don't stick to the preferences you've set out is because they know MOST profiles never reflect what they seek. | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . your last paragraph about women liking a full inbox is quite a sweeping generalisation which personally i think is a lotta crap Agree there, the thread has many comments giving views from all different users. As far as women are concerned too, to restrict your inbox they way you’d need to also restricts choice as well as input from other forum users. Personally I enjoy the social side of the site too and just feel that if people found out more of the site rules and etiquette they would enjoy the site more and get better results
Agree with you flirt but you can't have it both ways , that's kind of my point .
Women can't complain about having to many messages when it's easily within their powers to reduce those messages ie using tighter filters or doing as I say , polite no thx then block to prevent having to repeat yourself every 2 weeks as the guy keeps on asking. As for site etiquette, I still believe a no reply is rude under certain circumstances as I've already explained.
If your profile is on show then your asking for messages as far as I'm concerned , unless stated on your profile otherwise of course. So since your showing your profile you should be prepared for attention and reply to that attention.
Ps not directly meaning you , just in general.
Yep I see your point but those that complain of not getting messages back are actually in the wrong and if they then become abusive, doubly wrong. Why should someone using the site to full advantage inhibit that use for those that are not using it as per its rules
It's worth pointing out that, without putting blocks on certain people or certain groups of people, I've tried my best to make it abundantly clear on my profile as to what I'm looking for. Including living within a certain distance, not looking to chat much etc. Why should I be 'polite' and reply to them, when they're not being polite and sticking to the preferences I've set out?xx"You don't !! And your right. I said right from the beginning if there rude , or not read your profile then absolutely no need for you to reply. But if they are within your profile criteria and the message is polite it warrants a reply . Even a no thx. If they then choose to respond with why not bla de blah then your now in the right to ignore as they've not accepted your choices. | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx" You've said exactly what was going through my mind. This isn't my first profile on Fab, first joined and thought it was polite to reply to everyone who messaged. I spent 2 hours just deleting messages the other night. Also replying allows users to bypass any filters I may choose to use in the future so I don't think it just comes down to bad manners. | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx You've said exactly what was going through my mind. This isn't my first profile on Fab, first joined and thought it was polite to reply to everyone who messaged. I spent 2 hours just deleting messages the other night. Also replying allows users to bypass any filters I may choose to use in the future so I don't think it just comes down to bad manners. " couldnt agree more.. | |||
" It's worth pointing out that, without putting blocks on certain people or certain groups of people, I've tried my best to make it abundantly clear on my profile as to what I'm looking for. Including living within a certain distance, not looking to chat much etc. Why should I be 'polite' and reply to them, when they're not being polite and sticking to the preferences I've set out?xx" Haha Was gonna message you privately for a laugh but I'm outside your criteria. | |||
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" No, I don’t agree with you! There are days where I don’t have time to pick through every single message I receive. I shouldn’t need to answer them all. I try to but not always. I would prefer to be seen as rude to randoms on this site rather than ignore and be rude to my children who merit my time! I agree with you, I just don't have time or the desire to send 100 'sorry I'm not interested' messages a day, that when I do send that message it's met with anger, insults and generally trying to tell me I'm wrong. We're all strangers at the end of the day can't take it personally. " I totally agree, I used to try and reply, but when saying no thank you met with insults so now, if someone dosent make an effort, or uses hey, or hows you, I just ignore.. | |||
"I’m probably guilty of patching couples. If there’s a fanny I’m not getting involved. I’m straight, not fab straight. Just straight. Plus every couple has different wishes and dynamics. It’s a minefield. I come on fab for uncomplicated sex not mind games and second guessing. Sorry." If they message saying they’ve read my profile and just fancy a chat getting to know folk I’ll reply otherwise what she says
Plus the fact I don’t do married or attached even if the wife insists and begs me To it’s still a no, should I ever meet someone and later find out they’re attached then it’s too late by then
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"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send.
But Fab dosnt get to decide what's rude or not rude though.
Not answering with a quick no thx or not interested is rude plain and simple. "Is it really when you’ve got 400 messages in your inbox and then you reply thanks but no thanks and then they message you again and before you know it you’re still only 380 left to reply to !!! Yep been there done that gave that shit up years ago | |||
"I don't think it's for any of us to say how others should deal with their inbox " This^^^ my profile my rules, if I want to talk to someone I will, if I don't I'll delete, I'm not here for others I'm here for myself if that's rude then so be it | |||
"Speaking from someone who has given themselves severe anxiety over replying to messages, I no longer put myself through it. There's a few ways it can go... 1. I can't reply as there's too many to get through. I've spent HOURS some evenings replying saying I'm not playing. 2. I reply to everyone and for those that I tell I'm not interested, they reply back and either accept it, or they 'just want to chat'. So there's DOUBLE the messages sent to someone I'm not interested in. I then reply back saying that I'm not looking to chat, and I receive yet more messages either trying to convince me, or accepting it. But that's STILl more correspondence than I had initially intended. 3. I receive replies from those I'm interested in, aswell as the above. My inbox slowly fills, and I end up missing messages from the ones I WAS interested in! 4. The ones I'm not interested in get abusive. They tell me I'm fat, a slut, I'm too big headed, I'm too big for my boots, I'm not that special anyway etc etc. Now, tell me... would YOU reply to every single one after that? Or would you learn your lesson? And, may I point out, I'm one of the most polite people on here. My friends tell me I'm too patient, too considerate and too generous with my time, especially with people I don't intend to meet; so I know they're not being abusive because of MY attitude. I ask the question again, after the above information... would you put yourself through that?xx OK let's look closer at this Point 1 if your not playing make it clear on your profile your NOT playing. Now delete any post that asks about you playing or can I come or meet blah de blah . I agree with you then, No reply required. Point 2 If your not interested by all means do what your doing and say that , but then simply block them . No more messages after that from a person your not interested in. Ever !! Point 3 If you do what I suggested in Point 2 your messages will dramatically lessen and it will be more the people your interested in messaging as well as newbies that are not yet on your block list. Point 4 Refer back to Point 2 answer. Say no thx or not interested ect , do a copy n paste if you like then block . No more abusive messages. I'm not talking through guessing, I know a lovely lady very close to me who gets very few messages by doing the above , around 10 messages a week . Not aimed at you but I think women like the idea of having a full inbox of messages for the feelgood factor . " Em as per point 2 they just go and make another profile the following week same usernames same pics try their luck !! I add 100 users to my block list today I guarantee more than half will be gone tomorrow replaced by new profiles | |||
" It's worth pointing out that, without putting blocks on certain people or certain groups of people, I've tried my best to make it abundantly clear on my profile as to what I'm looking for. Including living within a certain distance, not looking to chat much etc. Why should I be 'polite' and reply to them, when they're not being polite and sticking to the preferences I've set out?xx Haha Was gonna message you privately for a laugh but I'm outside your criteria. "Here | |||
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"No one is entitled to anything on the site, including replies to messages. If someone hasn't replied they're clearly not interested but avoiding the absolute crap that comes far too often with a refusal. Lack of response makes their stance clear, move on. Personally if I receive a respectful message I'll reply. I don't bother with rude/disrespectful messages, why should I?! I limit the junk mail as much as possible with filters, but don't get any kind of thrill from receiving messages, not replying is more about avoiding discord than some kind of power rush, and messages certainly don't provide any kind of validation or confidence boost that so many men assume women on Fab are looking for "Your doing exactly as I suggest everyone should do.
Not because its expected, because its the polite thing to do. When warranted.
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"I don't think it's for any of us to say how others should deal with their inbox " Exactly this | |||
"I don't think it's for any of us to say how others should deal with their inbox This^^^ my profile my rules, if I want to talk to someone I will, if I don't I'll delete, I'm not here for others I'm here for myself if that's rude then so be it "This, but speaking as a single straight female I’ve eventually blocked men and couples and do my own searching. | |||
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"Anyone find that if you message folk to chat, theres an extreme lack of response. Surely a no thanks would suffice? It would but its usually the ignorant types that don't respond to a genuine polite message. No excuse for it. I do stress however I'm talking of genuine polite messages. "If we had to say no thanks to all the messages we get daily would mean that we would have no messages left to communicate with fabbers that we wish to converse with. Im sure its you guys that cant handle rejection.  | |||
"Fab FAQ state … It's not rude not to reply. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send.
But Fab dosnt get to decide what's rude or not rude though.
Not answering with a quick no thx or not interested is rude plain and simple. "It is not rude to not read a message. It is not rude to not respond to a message. Nobody is "entitled" to any response. | |||
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