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Scots rhyming slang/Banter.
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When asking my dad if he had seen my shoes " did ye have them oan when you tain them aff "
When asking what was for dinner " shite in a poke for nosey folk" or " shite want a lick"
If I don't see ye through the week I'll see ye through the windae
What time is it "bed time "
" shut yir legs there's a bus commin" |
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"She's seen mair sausage than a fat German Butcher."
"She hud a face on her like a Rotweiller lickin' pish aff a Thistle."
"She'd been cocked mair times than John Wayne's rifle."
"She's had mair cocks in her than a pair of Moss Bros hire troosers."
Glasgow Salad - A bag of chips.
Glasgow Marathon - A walk to the chip shop.
Dundee Suitcase - A bin bag.
Glasgow Tapas - Half a bag of chips.
Scottish Yoga - A hot bath, a can of Tennents Super and a fart.
"Wake up and smell my cock!" - A Scottish Motivational Morning Greeting to your loved one as you bring a cup of tea round to her side of the bed and lean over with your throbulous beefasaurus hanging out the front of your PJs at her face height (my ex hated that one, I have no idea why)-
Twechar Tunnocks Slut Rub - self explanatory geo-specific local sexual custom (see also Kilsyth Butterscotch Surprise etc).
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