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A Christmas Joke

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By *he Enigmatic Magnet OP   Man  over a year ago

Glasgow West

Three men (a Pom, a Scot and an Aussie) died on Christmas Eve (a fire in a pub) and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The Scot fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Pom reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter (obviously feeling very lenient) said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Aussie started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The Aussie replied with a wink, "They're Carol's."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A bloke walks into WH Smiths and says "Do you have have that self-help book for men with small cocks?"

Female assistant says "I dont think its in yet". He replies "yeah,thats the one"

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