FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Let's talk about bi curious
Let's talk about bi curious
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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So having myself identified as bi curious,i have been asked many times what does it mean, what are you into etc etc.Do you think there's a stigma against bi curious? Just looking to see what the general consensus was .   |
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I'm sure i read a thread a while ago and there were so many woman not liking the thought of a guy with another guy but then again there is so many bi curious woman on the site i think the amount of them out do the guys but you don't see people complaining abt them. Although there is some guys on here that can take theyr statuses etc a bit too far |
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By *ibliosWoman 35 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
I think it can create a bit of apprehension. Bicurious kinda suggests someone is at the point where they're not really sure, and some folk may not want the responsibility or pressure of 'introducing' or 'experimenting' as it can create a lot of pressure and problems, especially of things don't go the way people were hoping / excpecting. Plus not everyone wants to be nothing more than the means of satisying someone else's curiosity sincen if the other person lacks experience or cinfidence it might not be very satisfying for them! |
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"So having myself identified as bi curious,i have been asked many times what does it mean, what are you into etc etc.Do you think there's a stigma against bi curious? Just looking to see what the general consensus was . "
curious does have a use by date ie curious is thinking about it & wanting to try it but haven’t yet
Bicurious is tried it liked it therefore I’m bicurious
Is there a stingma!? Absolutely for men but hardly ever for women & I don’t really know why 
However people have thier preferences and these need to be respected  |
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I think the stigma is more revolved around the safe sex angle as the generalised view is that men are less responsible with protection. It’s a sweeping statement and a ‘tar all with one brush’ approach but that’s the issue in my opinion.
For me, I think it’s a more genuine and open approach for males to state they are bi or bi-curious on here considering many are straight but been in more men’s mouth than a retired dentist. |
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By *bcums3Couple 35 weeks ago
lanarkshire |
there’s only so many times you want to hear “I’ve not done this before” or “I’ll only play with boobs” it does start to lead you to feel your some ones experiment at the time and at what point does it change form being curious?..for me me you either like it or don’t there’s no in-between? I also think it makes better connection if both women are fully bi and happy to explore without rules |
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I think men more than woman are still stick in the labels that they were told be to in as they grew up.
Being curious could literally be an attraction to 1 single person of the same sex. Yet its seen as being into everyone.
And as spoken about it can be anything sexual, can be purely oral, or just kissing. The label of bicurious really doesn't explain an individuals likes and dislikes. But it's the closest label to what we are given here |
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Very well said.....
"For me, I think it’s a more genuine and open approach for males to state they are bi or bi-curious on here considering many are straight but been in more men’s mouth than a retired dentist. "
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It’s really what you’re comfortable with. Bi curious may mean you’ve dabbled but not enough experience to feel confident in leading the fun. Some people expect experts and forget that we all have to start somewhere. |
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I classed myself as Curious, until I tried it, liked it, and did it again.
I got rid of the "Curious" after I'd tried, but to be honest I only keep it there because I'm open to options.
I much more prefer the company and intamacy with a woman.
I think the terms used are very much old-fasioned and genearalised, I mean I've seen people on here that say they're pansexual, omnisexual, demisexual, sapiosexual or other many things, but have picked Straight. Surely with all the different orientations nowadays, Straight, Bi or Gaya labels are a bit redundant?
I'm NOT looking to start a debate about this, just some random pre-coffee thougts from me.
Mandy |
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Bi playful would be a more accurate tag, Orr should be an option in my view. Curious suggests intent to eventually embrace fully. Many on here don’t ever want that but will happily have a playful fumble in the context of play. |
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There's absolutely a stigma against bi people present on the site. Unfortunately, that's a reflection of wider society due to there being so many members.
In relation to the weight of there being more of an acceptance of fems being bisexual, that'll be as a result of mainstream society and culture seeing that as being "hot". How often would lesbian or bisexual fem play be shown in movies purely as an object of the height of sexiness over the last 20-30 years? Compare that to how many times have there been bisexual masc people flaunted in movies/TV etc. Thankfully, it seems that there's been a turning point there as you see a lot more queer characters on screen. The more you're essentially "told" something is hot, the more it's normalised. Additionally, as others have mentioned, there is a "one size fits all" view that men aren't as careful with their sexual health and would be higher risk of transmitting sexual diseases.
Regarding the use of bicurious as an identity on here, it could be a multitude of reasons and nowhere near as black and white as some may think. When you're limited to three choices, it shoehorns a lot of people into an identity they feel matches them best.
Using myself as a case study, I identify as gynosexual. This means I'm attracted to people of any gender that have or express feminine features/characteristics. As a result of this, I definitely don't identify as straight but I also don't feel like bisexual entirely applies to me as I'm not attracted to men or masculinity. Using "bicurious" is almost a forced "half way house" identity indicator on here that is then further clarified in our bio.
The real issue here is that Fab is an absolute dinosaur of a site that really badly needs a redesign or at least have basic some meaningful development to become more inclusive. I'm sure there are many out there using the site who think "we can do this much better" which, in the long run, could end up in Fab being left in the dust.
But, that's just like my opinion maaaaaaan  
C x |
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"There's absolutely a stigma against bi people present on the site. Unfortunately, that's a reflection of wider society due to there being so many members.
In relation to the weight of there being more of an acceptance of fems being bisexual, that'll be as a result of mainstream society and culture seeing that as being "hot". How often would lesbian or bisexual fem play be shown in movies purely as an object of the height of sexiness over the last 20-30 years? Compare that to how many times have there been bisexual masc people flaunted in movies/TV etc. Thankfully, it seems that there's been a turning point there as you see a lot more queer characters on screen. The more you're essentially "told" something is hot, the more it's normalised. Additionally, as others have mentioned, there is a "one size fits all" view that men aren't as careful with their sexual health and would be higher risk of transmitting sexual diseases.
Regarding the use of bicurious as an identity on here, it could be a multitude of reasons and nowhere near as black and white as some may think. When you're limited to three choices, it shoehorns a lot of people into an identity they feel matches them best.
Using myself as a case study, I identify as gynosexual. This means I'm attracted to people of any gender that have or express feminine features/characteristics. As a result of this, I definitely don't identify as straight but I also don't feel like bisexual entirely applies to me as I'm not attracted to men or masculinity. Using "bicurious" is almost a forced "half way house" identity indicator on here that is then further clarified in our bio.
The real issue here is that Fab is an absolute dinosaur of a site that really badly needs a redesign or at least have basic some meaningful development to become more inclusive. I'm sure there are many out there using the site who think "we can do this much better" which, in the long run, could end up in Fab being left in the dust.
But, that's just like my opinion maaaaaaan
C x"
Things can also get too complicated. I've never even hear of gynosexual, yet it probably defines the "straight" men who like me. I can keep up with the additional stripes of the pride flag these days, or what half the colours mean.
Have straight, bi or gay categories might be limiting, but having a category for every single like and dislike ( as there seems to be these day) can equally be limiting and confusing.
Honestly. I would just get rid of the sexuality categories.
If you get in touch with someone you like and they like you. Do we need to confirm your both ticking the same boxes? Are there swinging police to make sure anyone with gay or straight on their profile has never and can never drift out of their lane?
The list of what we list are ticked on our profile. Surely that more relevant than sexualoty?
I vote to scrap the " straight, bi gay" option on a profile. Thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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I never heard of gynosexual either,it probably fits me better,TBF,Jenni as far as scrapping the identity s,im not sure how that would Go, you could possibly try and gather the general consensus here,good luck if you pursue it |
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Unfortunately there is a massive disparity in acceptance between women and men being bi curious or bisexual and as jgmex explains is down to societal portrayal of both. I find it disheartening when I see a female’s profile who identifies as bisexual, but states that she won’t meet bisexual men.
I personally have a liking for bisexual men and is one of the first questions I ask when a straight guy messages me. Often they’re not as straight as they claim to be, but don’t want to put that on their profile because it would close a lot of doors for them. |
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I don't necessarily think that having more sexuality options present on the site would be limiting, as it opens up so many more choices for people and is actually more inclusive.
As for it being confusing, that is a matter of people then needing to look the terms up themselves in order to relieve said confusion if they don't understand them. If people have taken the time to investigate their personal identity and have found and existing identifier, why should it be denied purely because some find it confusing?l through lack of awareness. I found lots of things confusing until a bit of research was done.
I absolutely recognise where you are coming from though, in that there are so many sexualities out there, it can be daunting to understand all of them. I couldn't list or explain them all myself, but that shouldn't stand in the way of people being able to use these terms as a method of identification. In most instances, a simple Google reveals all. The more inclusive the space provided is, the more people are allowed to express who they feel they truly are. Surely there's nothing wrong with that?
As for removing all sexuality identifiers on the site, maybe it's something that could be replaced or supplemented with a text box option like you find in many online forms these days. It can be a useful filter on the site but again, I recognise that once more options are added, the more complex that can become. It's not an impossibility though... well, maybe it is on Fab given the significant lack of investment/development of the site.
C x |
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I always thought I was 100% straight,but I've found myself fabbing a lot of cocks recently,so I've changed my sexuality to bi-curious,maybe play/suck a cock,find it's not for me,but least I would of tried it |
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As a bi m and part of a bi couple I am surprised how many people either a) ignore our profile and just thrust their straight male need at us or b) keep their bi curiosity secret and call themselves straight. I really appreciate people who feel they can be honest in their profiles and respect the wishes of others. I feel glad I can be out as bi on this site and in my life. I totally respect many people have to keep their queer or bi identity secret in public. But I am drawn to honest descriptions on this site. |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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This is a really interesting question. I myself have never really been interested in woman sexually, I've never really fancied woman in general so I identify myself as straight...
But if you put a butch woman in front of me who looked and acted masculine and she asked me to go down on her I wouldn't hesitate! So maybe I am bicurious. I just don't fancy feminine woman and I absolutely have a huge attraction to transmen! I know they're men and I'm really not meaning to be transphobic with that comment but regardless of stage of transition I find transmen to be extremely hot!!
I guess sexuality can be what ever someone chooses to define themselves as. |
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"This is a really interesting question. I myself have never really been interested in woman sexually, I've never really fancied woman in general so I identify myself as straight...
But if you put a butch woman in front of me who looked and acted masculine and she asked me to go down on her I wouldn't hesitate! So maybe I am bicurious. I just don't fancy feminine woman and I absolutely have a huge attraction to transmen! I know they're men and I'm really not meaning to be transphobic with that comment but regardless of stage of transition I find transmen to be extremely hot!!
I guess sexuality can be what ever someone chooses to define themselves as. "
I had a lovely transman f2m lover for 6 months. A joyful time...and yes, extremely hot. |
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"There's absolutely a stigma against bi people present on the site. Unfortunately, that's a reflection of wider society due to there being so many members.
In relation to the weight of there being more of an acceptance of fems being bisexual, that'll be as a result of mainstream society and culture seeing that as being "hot". How often would lesbian or bisexual fem play be shown in movies purely as an object of the height of sexiness over the last 20-30 years? Compare that to how many times have there been bisexual masc people flaunted in movies/TV etc. Thankfully, it seems that there's been a turning point there as you see a lot more queer characters on screen. The more you're essentially "told" something is hot, the more it's normalised. Additionally, as others have mentioned, there is a "one size fits all" view that men aren't as careful with their sexual health and would be higher risk of transmitting sexual diseases.
Regarding the use of bicurious as an identity on here, it could be a multitude of reasons and nowhere near as black and white as some may think. When you're limited to three choices, it shoehorns a lot of people into an identity they feel matches them best.
Using myself as a case study, I identify as gynosexual. This means I'm attracted to people of any gender that have or express feminine features/characteristics. As a result of this, I definitely don't identify as straight but I also don't feel like bisexual entirely applies to me as I'm not attracted to men or masculinity. Using "bicurious" is almost a forced "half way house" identity indicator on here that is then further clarified in our bio.
The real issue here is that Fab is an absolute dinosaur of a site that really badly needs a redesign or at least have basic some meaningful development to become more inclusive. I'm sure there are many out there using the site who think "we can do this much better" which, in the long run, could end up in Fab being left in the dust.
But, that's just like my opinion maaaaaaan
C x
Things can also get too complicated. I've never even hear of gynosexual, yet it probably defines the "straight" men who like me. I can keep up with the additional stripes of the pride flag these days, or what half the colours mean.
Have straight, bi or gay categories might be limiting, but having a category for every single like and dislike ( as there seems to be these day) can equally be limiting and confusing.
Honestly. I would just get rid of the sexuality categories.
If you get in touch with someone you like and they like you. Do we need to confirm your both ticking the same boxes? Are there swinging police to make sure anyone with gay or straight on their profile has never and can never drift out of their lane?
The list of what we list are ticked on our profile. Surely that more relevant than sexualoty?
I vote to scrap the " straight, bi gay" option on a profile. Thoughts?"
Scrap it 100% if you like what you see... we shouldn't have to check a label. Just go for it! |
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I find some common misconceptions on here being a bi female is that..
we're into all females..
we're dying tae sleep wae a man's wife/gf ..
we're only bi to satisfy our men that it's their fantasy and turn on..
we're greedy..
our standards are lower ..
We have no self control |
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There’s a lot of good points made above. In my experience there’s fifty shades of sexuality. One could straight but bi playful in the right circumstances or with the right people. Just my experience though. |
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"There’s a lot of good points made above. In my experience there’s fifty shades of sexuality. One could straight but bi playful in the right circumstances or with the right people. Just my experience though. "
absolutely |
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I put bi-curious as I would play with women but wouldn’t have a relationship with a woman (so I don’t personally class myself as fully bi)
But I’d love if fab had alternative such as bi-playful as it suggests you’ve gone beyond your initial curiosity and enjoy it. 
Millie x |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"I think the stigma is more revolved around the safe sex angle as the generalised view is that men are less responsible with protection. It’s a sweeping statement and a ‘tar all with one brush’ approach but that’s the issue in my opinion.
For me, I think it’s a more genuine and open approach for males to state they are bi or bi-curious on here considering many are straight but been in more men’s mouth than a retired dentist. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"It’s great bi curious men explore their feelings
It’s funny when bi curious men have 10 plus verification from men, I think you are gay if you have ??"
What do you think gay means? |
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We think labels are very limiting.
We are SGF = Same Gender Friendly
If someone sees our profile and don't like "Bi" oops. Thier loss.... if someone posts the "don't meet Bi men or woman" (we respect their choice) .... but we block profile.
We have a motto.... "communication, honesty and understanding."
Everyone is different and that is so nice.
Cheers |
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For us it’s the opposite of a stigma- our preference is bi/bi-curious meets but there’s plenty on here who will claim to be either to get a meet, and when it comes down to it play strictly straight.
Hubby is more bottom, so meeting someone on the bi spectrum is fine - someone who perhaps doesn’t suck, or only fucks etc x
We more and more now ask to see bi pics, reviews or what someone enjoys just to confirm they are truly bi/curious xx |
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exible ( in the right circumstances) would be how I’d describe myself. Very rarely happens but when the flow goes……