"Brooklyn's Teeniest Tiniest Pen*s To Be Crowned Tomorrow
It has been months since we first reported on the first annual Smallest Pen*s in Brooklyn contest—since then the weather has changed, the days have gotten longer, and we've received more than enough emails from confused readers thinking they should send us photos of their tiny pen*ses. Please stop doing that. Tomorrow is your day to shine.
Organizers at Kings County Bar confirmed with us yesterday that this is really happening: "The contest is absolutely happening this Saturday. Time has been moved up slightly, so we are anticipating starting between 3-4pm (doors will open to the public at 2pm). There are currently 12 contestants." Also, they expect a crowd, so get there early if you want to get a good view. Please be advised, the tiny pen*ses may be covered by underwear, as nudity is not required. That underwear, however, will be made wet with water guns.
There was no max size requirement for the contest, and our sources tell us probably half will be swiftly eliminated—so prepare to heckle the show-offs. When we spoke to one organizer, Aimee Arciuolo, in May, she told us: "I do expect there will be a few giant d*cks that come to show off, but if they are over eight inches they will be disqualified and forced to buy a round for the judges.".
This will all go down at Kings County Bar tomorrow, Saturday July 20th, around 3 p.m. We're dispatching a reporter and photographer for total coverage, so stay tuned for that on Sunday."
There's no mention of the prize, but I'm guessing a sample sized bottle of CK One will be in there....  |
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