FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Observations from the new guy
Observations from the new guy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As a relativly new guy here been a bit reluctant to comment on some stuff i see in chat but decided to put some stuff up tonight - mainly aimed at new peeps so you can save yourself and the peeps you failing to impress a lot of time :P
1)single str8 guys - if a lady is not str8 then it isnt a shame - would you think it a shame if a gay guy came on to you? its good for her - just not you - deal and move on.
2) stop asking peeps to do stuff on cam if you arent in directing room - rules flash up often in room - mods are very friendly and usually warn u b4 you get boot - if u get booted tis your own fault
3) From the ladies i know on here their screens are constantly being filled with whispers which makes it kinda hard for them to keep up with chat - so dont get pissy or send abusive mail if your mail or whisp hasnt been answered. Try chatting in main chat instead - you never know they may just talk back if you have something more interesting to say than "wanna see me cum on cam"
4) Think about your name - tis a free country and a liberal site but i dont think it impresses anyone having a name that denotes u have a huge appendage,can go all night,etc etc,i could be wrong but i doubt it.Oh and if you do get that meet,ill be laughing with the lady when your chipolata is revealed!!(not peeking from wardrobe i should add :P just in spirit:P )
5)Read people profiles!!
6)See rule 5 - seriously - nothing pisses people off more, self included if you havent bothered to at least see what the person you are trying to get to know is interested in,this one rule alone will save you and your prospective target for lack of a better word a lot of time and grief!
7) Have fun,and cut the keyboard warrior bollocks - we all have real lifes - well ok most of us do - plenty stress there without bringing aggresiveness rude behaviour and bitchy or snide commets in to a place that should be fun for all.
Anyway just my 2cents,im not setting out to offend anyone but hope this helps peeps who are new to the site and maybe even more experienced ones who wonder why they arent have much success
Bloo,love to you all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good post Bloo...
Can I add to that?
Its called a chat room...posting "21/m with 12" cock in Glasgow, anyone want to chat" once every few minutes aint gonna get you any where, chat to folk and have banter with them.
Many people don't actually use chat to look for or arrange meets, they use it to (what a shocker) chat to their pals and get themselves known in the community. If, after chatting to someone for a while and feel a connection, then think about mailing them.
Be discrete in the chat room, "I just met xxxxx last night and had a fantastic shag" may impress the lads in the pub but won't impress your fellow chatters.
Quite a few people in chat have 2 profiles, ie one for the lady and one for the guy.... Be mindfull that when telling someone they have massive bazooka's that their hubby might be reading it too! In other words, show some respect.
S. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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number 4 is a defo buddy, always a put off when we get mail from a username like 'sweatyMingeAbuser' or something like that. Pretty hates it, i wanted to call myself 'the Throbber' instead of ginger but she refused!
really i dont know which is more of a turn off to women though, being called Ginger or The Throbber....my suspicions lie with the first  |
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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago
kirkcaldy |
Ahhhhhhhhhh Bloo, someone has taught ye well. Some very valid points there and if heeded single guys might actually discard the "ten a penny and not worth our interest" attitude of some in here.
You guys play an important part of why a lot of single fems especially are on the site.
Yes its personal taste...yes its a numbers game but if you follow some very basic guidelines such as the "read profile", "show respect" parts you should be able to have fun along your fab journey.
here's to the funtimes again :D
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Very well said hun i just sit most nites and CRRRRRINGE at some of the comments men say to the fems in chat
so maybe juSt maybe some of them will read your post and take note ..Altho dunno about the botched up wispas some of then have are just ledgendary lol
luv jacs
xxxx |
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By *alakMan
over a year ago
Milan |
very well described bloo I totally agree! Somehow many males thing that because a woman is on a swinging website, she is desperately looking for sex with anyone, at anytime. Don't let the ****ers spoil our Fab community! |
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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago
glasgow |
bloo what a great post as a single female on here i get so fed up with hissy fits that are thrown an yes before anyone says anything i have got a great guy i am seeing and go to socials with but we both also do our own thing and i agree with the previous post i aint no maritni girl.....any time any where any place that some males seem to categorise the females who are on a swinging as site as  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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whilst each point stated is very valid , i am gonna chuck my two pence worth in .
I was on here before under a couples profile , with a fuck buddy , the odd arsehole apart , most messages where very polite , respectful , non pushy , and original . We answered as many as we could , we treated people with the same respect as we would like them to show us , despite that actual meets where very rare and it became very clear there is an inner circle of people , a clique if you will that is very difficult to break into . Now i appreciate that many profiles will have there friends and the odd one is honest about it and state they are not lookin for new playmates .
Now as a single guy profile , gay and bi guys apart who constantly offer to suck my cock despite me being straight and my profile stating so , replies and messages are non exsistant , i look at profiles and if i dont meet the criteria i move on , but when you do and i decide to message someone , which is always polite , respectful , pic supplied etc it is very disheartening to see your message deleted without as much as a seconds glance . So it is no wonder people do become pissed off and take the hump , personally i dont , i move on but hey some 20 something lad with the horn may react differntly , i have used the chat room and been roundly ignored as it is also very clear that people will only chat with their 'pals'
Seriously all you couples and fems that moan about the single fellas , try putting up a single guys profile for yourself , tell no one who you are and see how you get on . Even with your inside knowledge of how this place operates i would wager you will bin it within weeks as a clique and waste of time and effort .
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'Inner circle'? Hmm there could be but there's an easy way in, TALK to people, don't lurk, don't fire off whispers unsolicited.
It's really easy to hide in a chat room, just watching cams, perving profiles, people need to take a proactive step to get to know people, beyond what's written on there profile. EVERY point Bloo makes is valid, (if you've been in the Scotland room on a Saturday night the amount of 'stop directing' comments from mods, single guys making arses of themselves and getting banned, is ridiculous.
Do these guys honestly think that just appearing randomly, typing 'SHOW YOUR TITS' (usually in caps), and throwing a tantrum when they get told to bugger off, is actually going to get them a meet?
When you used the chat room did you say hello when you entered, did you join in on the conversations? If you did I can't understand why you got blanked, the Scotland room has some of the best people on this entire site in it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just to clarify
I am not condoning the actions of the 'gies a fuck ' 'get yer titts oot' brigade
And having had a previous profile i am fully aware of the way the place works in regards to the chat room , i am saying those who quickly condemn single guys should maybe try putting themselves in their position and maybe just maybe a bit of understanding could come into play
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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago
glasgow |
i never ever ever condemn single guys but a few idiots do spoil ir for the rest. Iknow some lovely single guys from here and have great pleasure in meeting up with them but as i said before a few spoil it for the many |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i never ever ever condemn single guys but a few idiots do spoil ir for the rest. Iknow some lovely single guys from here and have great pleasure in meeting up with them but as i said before a few spoil it for the many "
This is what i dont get though , you are right there is the fair share of idiots and it does spoil it for the genuine decent guys , but the sweeping generalisation of many on here is unreal !
If a couple of black guys commit a crime and the majority then treated all black guys as criminals it would be considered as racist yes ?
So do we have a case for singleguyism on this portal ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Daytime Deviant...
Your right, it is hard to get into chat and follow the room and to get noticed.... but Bloo has only been on the site 4 weeks, is already a popular fellow and has attended a social. Hes put in the effort of breaking through barriers in chat and is (hopefully) reaping the rewards.
I'm sure it is hard been a single guy on here as there are so many.... but you will get back what you put into it.
Single guys are needed on sites like this, for instance, some ladies wont play with married guys (like me, even though I have permission from Jo), some arent Bi, so all they are looking for is single guys.
Unfortunatly, as there are so many idiots that come in the chat room (and in my opinion most of them are males) it does kinda spoil it for the more genuine ones who are new to chat. Stick with it though, be respectful and take heed of Bloo's advice and I'm sure it will help.
PS, note Bloo's point on user names....
Take care
S. |
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"This is what i dont get though , you are right there is the fair share of idiots and it does spoil it for the genuine decent guys , but the sweeping generalisation of many on here is unreal !"
Look at it from a fem/cpl point of view tho, you get upwards of 50 unsolicited mails a day from guys who haven't read your profile, which states something along the lines of ('no single males' or 'if I need a single guy I'll find you')
Then we've got the idiots who don't take a hint in the chat rooms, the dummy spitting by 'irresistable' guys who get a knockback, the 'single' men with a wife, cockcams outside of the directing room, or other general knobbery committed by single guys. It's not a sweeping generalisation at all, frankly it's a miracle any 'geniune' single guy gets a meet due to those idiots.
I've lost count of the number of times I've seen fems in the chat room (just in the last couple of weeks as well) have to get a mod to ban some clown (who usually doesn't have a face pic or even ANY info on their profile beyond their cock size) due them just not accepting the fact that they don't want to shag them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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(sighs) for the umpteenth time now i have had a couples profile on here and am fully aware of their plight in regards to the numerous mails they get .
As for the 'single' guy with a wife comment , what is the alternative option ? If there is one please do send me that way and i will happily sign up under that tag.
Is it unthinkable that a 'single' guy asks for the same manners expected from him to be returned ?
Single guys all get covered by the same blanket as the arseholes you mention and that my friend is a generalisation
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a 'single' man I feel I can add to this thread..First well done Bloo some nice and wholley accurate observations.
I find you only get out what you put in and as a swinger with some experience you end up with a number of things:
A: Friends who are just friends you chat with have coffee with and thats all
b:People you classify as chat buddies and nothing more
c: Friends who are those you are more; (can I say) Intimate with
d: Friends you wish to be intimate with but due to either, time, circumstances and logistics you haven't yet.
In my time that I have been on fab I dont think anyone considers me an a**ehole and I guess if single guys read the profiles, respect the requests and you are honest then you will get whatever you wish.. I do and have got some great friends
Charles xx |
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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago
more north lincs than mids! |
daytime, Steveandj isn't a single male with a partner. He is on as a couple with his own profile, as is his wife. They play together but also both play individually with the others consent.
As Steve said tho, single males ARE needed on here because there people who will not play with married men regardless of whether they have permission or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have heard people refer to the chat rooms as pub-like and they are right.
You wouldn’t walk into a pub and shout Hi to everyone and expect everyone to turn away from their mates and drop everything to chat to you. Nor would MOST men walk up to woman and say things like show me your boobs.
I have been using the Scotland room regularly for just over a week. In that time I have lost my temper with whispers loads, why? Cos I’m sick of the same people asking the same questions night after night, hour after hour forgetting who they have already spoken to and the answers they already got.
Take a few nights ago for example, there were about 20 people in the room, at least half a dozen different conversations going on, each of us adding to each chat as we saw fit.
A guy came in said hi about half said hi back, he then started looking at cams (I know cos he looked at mine) then started whispering “lower your cam” with no other comments made first, when a few women said no or stop directing he got a warning from the mods. He got bored and said he had some paint drying he could watch. He then came back a couple hours later did a carbon copy of his earlier behaviour again got told off this time by non mod members. Again he got annoyed.
Now what should we do? Should the women have done as this guy was directing even tho there is a directors room for those who want to direct or be directed?? Was the mod wrong for posting the rules a few times to point out where the guy was going wrong??
I think often people go in the chat rooms with an idea of what happens and when they see people chatting about everyday things they get annoyed – I was asked why I was sitting with a top on!! I would wear clothing if I was out for a coffee wouldn’t I??
I treat the chat rooms like as social, I chat, I laugh and hopefully I will make new mates. If more people thought like that then maybe the people who do get ignored or told off by other users wont and then hopefully there won’t be sweeping generalisations about some causing bother for the rest.
Shona
x x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's sad but true Shona, as in every case the minority spoil it for the majority.
Hence them getting tarred with the same brush.
can I also add a wee p.s off topic here? Chatroom users do not have to put up with the 'secret' directors and abusers, if someone is whispering you and directing/being abusive report their profile and say why (especially if they don't stop when asked to) and also tell a mod if there is one in the room.
Admin can check chatlogs for you if you have had abuse etc. in whispers, and take action on those causing hassles. But they can't do it without help, they need you to draw their attention to it. Report and block. xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's sad but true Shona, as in every case the minority spoil it for the majority.
Hence them getting tarred with the same brush.
can I also add a wee p.s off topic here? Chatroom users do not have to put up with the 'secret' directors and abusers, if someone is whispering you and directing/being abusive report their profile and say why (especially if they don't stop when asked to) and also tell a mod if there is one in the room.
Admin can check chatlogs for you if you have had abuse etc. in whispers, and take action on those causing hassles. But they can't do it without help, they need you to draw their attention to it. Report and block. xxxx"
Very true Laine and on the odd occastion I have needed to complain to admin my problem has been dealt with fast.
Shona
x x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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BLOO you lucky man. Well played btw....... I think your shag quota is about to go through the roof!!! Lmao
You tick all the boxes- polite, non-pushy,up for a laugh, make an effort in chat and don't start a sentence with show us yer fanny!
I would also like to say that I don't tar all the single blokes with the same brush. However, I do avoid the ones that use terms of endearment (babe, sexy,hun, beautiful etc), the ones that ask to shag me without ever seeing a pic or chatting to me and most of all the ones that don't persever when I don't reply straight away in the chat room.
I am an average looking girl but I am so amazed when I am told how beautiful and amazing I am when I am on cam. Usually this comes from single blokes. It's funny how the bigger the hard on the better looking I get............who needs beer goggles??!?!?
Wilma  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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lmao wilma :P ill get me diary out then:P and mad you are right - did learn a lot from you and others here,was definitly worth it for me to take some time to ask questions and find out a lil about the scene from peeps who have been here a while b4 making a numpty of myself.
In all seriousness tho really wasnt expecting such a big response on this and was a wee bit worried i was being cheeky posting it being new,and ofc theres always the problem that it prolly wont be read by those who could most do with reading it. But it was just bugging me a bit so had to vent :P
Good to have all your feedback and appreciate all who have commented to me on it. Thanks guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well said bloo know stop being so serious and get your kit off lmao.
Hope this post helps any newbees and gives them an insight into how to get along with ppl.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bloo, the very fact that your new on the site proves the point 100 fold... Hasn't taken long for you to settle in and become one of regular chatters. I'm sure that all it has taken is manners, respect and perserverance.
Also agree with all constructive comments especially those from Gent44 and Shona.
Also, as Laine says, report and block. If everyone (especially those on cam) blocked the pests then they would soon get bored or change their attitude.
Steve. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well thought out etc, another wee tip, maybe give your fellow single guy the access to message you,even more of an up in fun chances,some of yer fellow single guys create and host parties, invites cant be sent if the good old "blocks" on,lol,
T  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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didnt used to have that on - but ended up having to as i was getting mail from single guys who werent interested in just talking as friends -and ofc viewed me as well - str8 guys get it the same as the fems not interested in guys - tho not nearly to the same extent id imagine - can i ask u to grab me in chat m8 if u see me and ill make a point of messaging u as i believe if i message someone in my block criteria it cancels it for that person. i have no problem talking to anyone of any sex or preference but unfortunatly have had to use the blunt tool of block to at least cut down on some of what i dont what to receive. I do see your point tho and id hate to think any guys couldnt talk to me or invite me etc if i get on with them. Tis the old read the damn profile problem again i guess.cheers for your input ,been both pleased and surprised by how much interest my wee observations have raised |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just to clarify
I am not condoning the actions of the 'gies a fuck ' 'get yer titts oot' brigade
And having had a previous profile i am fully aware of the way the place works in regards to the chat room , i am saying those who quickly condemn single guys should maybe try putting themselves in their position and maybe just maybe a bit of understanding could come into play
guess another previous porfile is at hand.
"
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"As a relativly new guy here been a bit reluctant to comment on some stuff i see in chat but decided to put some stuff up tonight - mainly aimed at new peeps so you can save yourself and the peeps you failing to impress a lot of time :P
1)single str8 guys - if a lady is not str8 then it isnt a shame - would you think it a shame if a gay guy came on to you? its good for her - just not you - deal and move on.
2) stop asking peeps to do stuff on cam if you arent in directing room - rules flash up often in room - mods are very friendly and usually warn u b4 you get boot - if u get booted tis your own fault
3) From the ladies i know on here their screens are constantly being filled with whispers which makes it kinda hard for them to keep up with chat - so dont get pissy or send abusive mail if your mail or whisp hasnt been answered. Try chatting in main chat instead - you never know they may just talk back if you have something more interesting to say than "wanna see me cum on cam"
4) Think about your name - tis a free country and a liberal site but i dont think it impresses anyone having a name that denotes u have a huge appendage,can go all night,etc etc,i could be wrong but i doubt it.Oh and if you do get that meet,ill be laughing with the lady when your chipolata is revealed!!(not peeking from wardrobe i should add :P just in spirit:P )
5)Read people profiles!!
6)See rule 5 - seriously - nothing pisses people off more, self included if you havent bothered to at least see what the person you are trying to get to know is interested in,this one rule alone will save you and your prospective target for lack of a better word a lot of time and grief!
7) Have fun,and cut the keyboard warrior bollocks - we all have real lifes - well ok most of us do - plenty stress there without bringing aggresiveness rude behaviour and bitchy or snide commets in to a place that should be fun for all.
Anyway just my 2cents,im not setting out to offend anyone but hope this helps peeps who are new to the site and maybe even more experienced ones who wonder why they arent have much success
Bloo,love to you all "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't try and preach to others, each to their own on here.
Don't use words like 'peeps' 'str8' or '2cents'.
There's someone for everyone on here. Don't make a drama out of nothing. |
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