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Friends???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Recently a friend of mine has had some health problems, really difficult circumstances. She doesn't have any real family to count on but would have had a large group of close females friends.
Except she found she didn't when it mattered!
I suppose in times of adversity you find out who your friends are, when they're not family or feel emotionally or duty bound to share the burden then it becomes easy to walk away.
Got be thinking, how do you know who your true friends are? Who you can genuinely rely on when you hit rock bottom? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You know if their your friends if they’re there for you but it’s a 2 way street, has she been there for them? Was there other reasons the said group of female friends couldn’t be there for your female friend? Have they tried in the past and they’re efforts took for granted? Lots of reason for this but obviously still hurts the person feeling left alone. Just good she has you op.
Musicmaid x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll make this concise...when it really mattered- me. "
That's sad isn't it!! I realise that might often be the reality in a lot of cases.
Well she isn't all alone, but I think she knows now who she can rely on and who's got her back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in trouble a few years back
Both friends and family dropped me like a hot spud!!
A few friends stood by me and I owe them big time for it but they know I would’ve done the same for them so yes it is a two way thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll make this concise...when it really mattered- me.
That's sad isn't it!! I realise that might often be the reality in a lot of cases.
Well she isn't all alone, but I think she knows now who she can rely on and who's got her back. "
I don't think of it as sad...I wasn't alone either, but ultimately realised that I was the best placed person to rely on in the situation at the time.
All too often I think people over-rely on others and as a result end up disappointed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You know if their your friends if they’re there for you but it’s a 2 way street, has she been there for them? Was there other reasons the said group of female friends couldn’t be there for your female friend? Have they tried in the past and they’re efforts took for granted? Lots of reason for this but obviously still hurts the person feeling left alone. Just good she has you op.
Musicmaid x"
None of the above apllies, absolutely none of it, makes it all the more surprising.
Oh she has a guardian angel out there but it's not me!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have 1 individual in my life (not Mr) who I know I could rely on for pretty much anything. I've told her all sorts over the years and she's dished out sympathy and bollockings in equal measure as and when appropriate. Which to me is the sign of a true friend.
1 person...doesn't sound much when I write it down but it's more than a lot. I have other friends of course who I may go to for different kinds of advice. But I know I could rely on her in any situation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have 1 individual in my life (not Mr) who I know I could rely on for pretty much anything. I've told her all sorts over the years and she's dished out sympathy and bollockings in equal measure as and when appropriate. Which to me is the sign of a true friend.
1 person...doesn't sound much when I write it down but it's more than a lot. I have other friends of course who I may go to for different kinds of advice. But I know I could rely on her in any situation."
I think this girl's realised the same. One doesn't seem a lot but the right one might be all you need. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Innmy mid 20s i discovered i had cyclothalma ( a type of bi polar but milder ) , long since managed but i hold up my hands before i had it worked out and even after i got things sorted i lost so many people , but in retrospect im happy as who is left i can rely on 100 percent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have 1 individual in my life (not Mr) who I know I could rely on for pretty much anything. I've told her all sorts over the years and she's dished out sympathy and bollockings in equal measure as and when appropriate. Which to me is the sign of a true friend.
1 person...doesn't sound much when I write it down but it's more than a lot. I have other friends of course who I may go to for different kinds of advice. But I know I could rely on her in any situation.
I think this girl's realised the same. One doesn't seem a lot but the right one might be all you need."
I totally agree! One friend that is there for you unconditionally and totally is far better than many that offer very little x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently a friend of mine has had some health problems, really difficult circumstances. She doesn't have any real family to count on but would have had a large group of close females friends.
Except she found she didn't when it mattered!
I suppose in times of adversity you find out who your friends are, when they're not family or feel emotionally or duty bound to share the burden then it becomes easy to walk away.
Got be thinking, how do you know who your true friends are? Who you can genuinely rely on when you hit rock bottom? "
This post has made me sad for your friend and angry at people x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently a friend of mine has had some health problems, really difficult circumstances. She doesn't have any real family to count on but would have had a large group of close females friends.
Except she found she didn't when it mattered!
I suppose in times of adversity you find out who your friends are, when they're not family or feel emotionally or duty bound to share the burden then it becomes easy to walk away.
Got be thinking, how do you know who your true friends are? Who you can genuinely rely on when you hit rock bottom?
This post has made me sad for your friend and angry at people x"
I think if we are all completely honest with ourselves though we'd be extremely lucky if we can count true friends on more than one finger. Acquaintances, drinking buddies, the guy/girl who has you pissing yourself laughing, yes. Doesn't make them real friends though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have mates but the only person who knows me better than anyone is my husband.
I wouldn't tell any of my mates we are on here so that to me says I don't trust anyone 100% bar him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have mates but the only person who knows me better than anyone is my husband.
I wouldn't tell any of my mates we are on here so that to me says I don't trust anyone 100% bar him."
The friend I was talking about doesn't know I'm on here. Just never came up in conversation but I don't think it would be a big deal if she knew. She knows of my filth potential  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?"
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have been through a lot in my life .. worst was when I nearly lost my oldest to a rare cancer .. ppl I thought I knew were my friends would dross the street when they saw me .. over the years I have many acquaintances and a handful of friends but I have one friend who recently has been coming to hospital appointments with me and doctors appointments with me .. when I am at my worst she is there for me as I am with her .. she is my rock ... I know now who my true friends are and I'm at peace with that .. that one friend, I'd be lost without ...
I hope your friend is ok xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off."
thanks for your honesty  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off."
Harsh doggy!!
Running out of her life?
I think the one person she's relying on is finding it very difficult herself. The gravity and reality of it all. She probably wishes she could remove herself from the situation at times. I think sometimes she wonders what difference she can make and feels helpless and it must be traumatic to see your friend at such a low ebb.
I've total admiration for her though.
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"I have 1 individual in my life (not Mr) who I know I could rely on for pretty much anything. I've told her all sorts over the years and she's dished out sympathy and bollockings in equal measure as and when appropriate. Which to me is the sign of a true friend.
1 person...doesn't sound much when I write it down but it's more than a lot. I have other friends of course who I may go to for different kinds of advice. But I know I could rely on her in any situation."
I have a few really close friends but one in particular gives me strength, empathy, therapy, cash, cuddles...whatever I need. I could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge me. She’ll drop everything to be there for me and I do the same for her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off.
Harsh doggy!!
Running out of her life?
I think the one person she's relying on is finding it very difficult herself. The gravity and reality of it all. She probably wishes she could remove herself from the situation at times. I think sometimes she wonders what difference she can make and feels helpless and it must be traumatic to see your friend at such a low ebb.
I've total admiration for her though.
"
Admiration is only warranted if the person was there supporting her friend |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off.
Harsh doggy!!
Running out of her life?
I think the one person she's relying on is finding it very difficult herself. The gravity and reality of it all. She probably wishes she could remove herself from the situation at times. I think sometimes she wonders what difference she can make and feels helpless and it must be traumatic to see your friend at such a low ebb.
I've total admiration for her though.
Admiration is only warranted if the person was there supporting her friend"
Well thankfully in this scenario that's the case. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Innmy mid 20s i discovered i had cyclothalma ( a type of bi polar but milder ) , long since managed but i hold up my hands before i had it worked out and even after i got things sorted i lost so many people , but in retrospect im happy as who is left i can rely on 100 percent"
I hear you!! Best filter ever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Friends are great but ultimately it's down to you.
I've got a massive circle of mates but maybe 2 or 3 friends.
The last girl I was with was 100% my best mate and she went through some troubled times both personally and financially. I supported and helped her through both.
A while later I had some personal problems. They were self inflicted but she couldn't handle it. When I needed support sadly she wasn't strong enough to provide it. I got through it myself but was disappointed and a bit pissed off she crumbled when I needed her support |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off. thanks for your honesty "
My response was based on the "keeps running out of her life" comment. We've all been faced with situations where we've perhaps not dealt with them in the best way or let someone down. But if someone repeatedly did this to me then they're not a friend. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off. thanks for your honesty
My response was based on the "keeps running out of her life" comment. We've all been faced with situations where we've perhaps not dealt with them in the best way or let someone down. But if someone repeatedly did this to me then they're not a friend."
Point taken. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off. thanks for your honesty
My response was based on the "keeps running out of her life" comment. We've all been faced with situations where we've perhaps not dealt with them in the best way or let someone down. But if someone repeatedly did this to me then they're not a friend."
Couldn't have said it better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off. thanks for your honesty
My response was based on the "keeps running out of her life" comment. We've all been faced with situations where we've perhaps not dealt with them in the best way or let someone down. But if someone repeatedly did this to me then they're not a friend.
Couldn't have said it better. "
...see! I'm not that bad really! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if this friend can't handle the bad news of her friend and keeps running out of her life, is she still classed as a friend?
No. In that case she's an unreliable boot and would be told to fuck off. thanks for your honesty
My response was based on the "keeps running out of her life" comment. We've all been faced with situations where we've perhaps not dealt with them in the best way or let someone down. But if someone repeatedly did this to me then they're not a friend.
Couldn't have said it better.
...see! I'm not that bad really! "
Honesty doesn't make you a bad person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x"
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them"
Or (and I realise that I'm contradicting myself here given my earlier comments) they're dealing with their own pile of shite that you know nothing about and are I'll equipped to support anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them
Or (and I realise that I'm contradicting myself here given my earlier comments) they're dealing with their own pile of shite that you know nothing about and are I'll equipped to support anyone else."
In my case I was with her for 3 years, lived with her for 2 so if she had a pile of shite to deal with that I never knew about then she has bigger mental issues than those I mentioned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them"
I left out a fair bit because some of it is more personal x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them
I left out a fair bit because some of it is more personal x"
Fair enough, hopefully you've made a full recovery and kicked those disloyal friends into touch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them
I left out a fair bit because some of it is more personal x
Fair enough, hopefully you've made a full recovery and kicked those disloyal friends into touch"
Oh believe me I have. I'm back to my strong self again. As for the friend, what friend? More like a frenemie lol x |
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"I have 1 individual in my life (not Mr) who I know I could rely on for pretty much anything. I've told her all sorts over the years and she's dished out sympathy and bollockings in equal measure as and when appropriate. Which to me is the sign of a true friend.
1 person...doesn't sound much when I write it down but it's more than a lot. I have other friends of course who I may go to for different kinds of advice. But I know I could rely on her in any situation."
One person like that is worth 100 fair weather friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them
I left out a fair bit because some of it is more personal x
Fair enough, hopefully you've made a full recovery and kicked those disloyal friends into touch
Oh believe me I have. I'm back to my strong self again. As for the friend, what friend? More like a frenemie lol x"
Obviously I don't know the details but people close to you can sometimes cause you a problem without meaning to....
In my case I caused this girl to worry due to a Coke habit I developed. I didn't mean to and I'm genuinely gutted I put her through it but at the time I didn't realise I was doing it.
I take full responsibility for it back my behaviour at the time was way way out of character for me and ultimately the only damage I done was to cause her to worry.
She was happy to be supported financially and emotionally through her issues and enjoyed me taking her on holiday, meals etc but the only time I probably needed her she couldn't handle it.
Shame but like I said some people are just mentally weak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them
I left out a fair bit because some of it is more personal x
Fair enough, hopefully you've made a full recovery and kicked those disloyal friends into touch
Oh believe me I have. I'm back to my strong self again. As for the friend, what friend? More like a frenemie lol x
Obviously I don't know the details but people close to you can sometimes cause you a problem without meaning to....
In my case I caused this girl to worry due to a Coke habit I developed. I didn't mean to and I'm genuinely gutted I put her through it but at the time I didn't realise I was doing it.
I take full responsibility for it back my behaviour at the time was way way out of character for me and ultimately the only damage I done was to cause her to worry.
She was happy to be supported financially and emotionally through her issues and enjoyed me taking her on holiday, meals etc but the only time I probably needed her she couldn't handle it.
Shame but like I said some people are just mentally weak"
for your honesty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them
I left out a fair bit because some of it is more personal x
Fair enough, hopefully you've made a full recovery and kicked those disloyal friends into touch
Oh believe me I have. I'm back to my strong self again. As for the friend, what friend? More like a frenemie lol x
Obviously I don't know the details but people close to you can sometimes cause you a problem without meaning to....
In my case I caused this girl to worry due to a Coke habit I developed. I didn't mean to and I'm genuinely gutted I put her through it but at the time I didn't realise I was doing it.
I take full responsibility for it back my behaviour at the time was way way out of character for me and ultimately the only damage I done was to cause her to worry.
She was happy to be supported financially and emotionally through her issues and enjoyed me taking her on holiday, meals etc but the only time I probably needed her she couldn't handle it.
Shame but like I said some people are just mentally weak
for your honesty."
She would no doubt see it differently but I'm always open about stuff and call as I see. Which isn't always a good thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them
I left out a fair bit because some of it is more personal x
Fair enough, hopefully you've made a full recovery and kicked those disloyal friends into touch
Oh believe me I have. I'm back to my strong self again. As for the friend, what friend? More like a frenemie lol x
Obviously I don't know the details but people close to you can sometimes cause you a problem without meaning to....
In my case I caused this girl to worry due to a Coke habit I developed. I didn't mean to and I'm genuinely gutted I put her through it but at the time I didn't realise I was doing it.
I take full responsibility for it back my behaviour at the time was way way out of character for me and ultimately the only damage I done was to cause her to worry.
She was happy to be supported financially and emotionally through her issues and enjoyed me taking her on holiday, meals etc but the only time I probably needed her she couldn't handle it.
Shame but like I said some people are just mentally weak
for your honesty.
She would no doubt see it differently but I'm always open about stuff and call as I see. Which isn't always a good thing "
It's always better being honest and upfront about everything, no matter how much it hurts, then you can deal with it and move on x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I went through a particular bad time last year, pretty much hell actually (severe anxiety the doctor said) thanks to a certain person on this site. Thought he was a friend but when I needed his support the most, he walked away because he couldn't take it. Had the nerve to say to me that he knew what I was going through. That's not a friend. The only person who was there for me stood by me but even she lost touch with me too, someone outside of Fab. I'm stronger than ever now because I've got myself through it with the help of a couple of friends on here who have stuck by me and always will be there for me. I think sometimes the only person you can rely on is yourself and give yourself time to get through whatever it is your dealing with x
I'm not sure how a friend not giving you support would cause severe anxiety but other than that you had exactly the same experience as me.
It's disappointing but I genuinely believe there is a character flaw in people who can't provide support through bad times.
It shows a weakness, selfishness and shallowness in them
I left out a fair bit because some of it is more personal x
Fair enough, hopefully you've made a full recovery and kicked those disloyal friends into touch
Oh believe me I have. I'm back to my strong self again. As for the friend, what friend? More like a frenemie lol x
Obviously I don't know the details but people close to you can sometimes cause you a problem without meaning to....
In my case I caused this girl to worry due to a Coke habit I developed. I didn't mean to and I'm genuinely gutted I put her through it but at the time I didn't realise I was doing it.
I take full responsibility for it back my behaviour at the time was way way out of character for me and ultimately the only damage I done was to cause her to worry.
She was happy to be supported financially and emotionally through her issues and enjoyed me taking her on holiday, meals etc but the only time I probably needed her she couldn't handle it.
Shame but like I said some people are just mentally weak
for your honesty.
She would no doubt see it differently but I'm always open about stuff and call as I see. Which isn't always a good thing
It's always better being honest and upfront about everything, no matter how much it hurts, then you can deal with it and move on x"
I totally agree, moving on was never going to be a problem. Already have,I'm not a dweller and not needy.
Only brought it up really to illustrate a point on the subject.
Anyway as we're both a friend, fancy a meet? Haha
We could be ready made replacements for each other |
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I knew a man that was very popular with a great job and lifestyle. Sadly through drinking too much he lost everything. I stayed in touch as knew he was broken. He would cry so much i though he was having a breakdown. I begged other people to visit him and be there to help him through this difficult time but they didnt want involved. I still remember that day i got the phone call to say he was dead. The church at his funeral was packed with people sobbing. I felt like screaming "where the fuck were you all when he needed you most". I was angry with so many people for so long afterwards as knew this man would still have been alive today if they had pulled together and helped him more. To me its human nature to help a friend through good and bad times. Sadly not everyone does. |
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"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?"
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs."
What would you have expected the friends to do? Was he still drinking just before he died? |
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"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs.
What would you have expected the friends to do? Was he still drinking just before he died?"
No he had stopped drinking. He just needed company as felt so alone and worthless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs.
What would you have expected the friends to do? Was he still drinking just before he died?
No he had stopped drinking. He just needed company as felt so alone and worthless. "
Once a friendship has been blighted by an addiction it's difficult to rekindle |
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By *luteguyMan
over a year ago
Here and There |
"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs."
Sounds like he only had one true friend - you! |
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"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs.
Sounds like he only had one true friend - you!"
Me and another guy tried to help. Sadly we failed. |
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"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs.
What would you have expected the friends to do? Was he still drinking just before he died?
No he had stopped drinking. He just needed company as felt so alone and worthless. "
was his death alcohol related? |
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"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs.
What would you have expected the friends to do? Was he still drinking just before he died?
No he had stopped drinking. He just needed company as felt so alone and worthless. was his death alcohol related?"
He was a diabetic and through his sadness he wasnt eating properly and i dont think he took his insulin when he should. Accidental death or deliberate i will never know. |
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"That’s a sad story but I suspect all too common. How many would he have counted as true friends?
I was shocked at how many turned a blind eye but know they were riddled with guilt and regrets after. Hopefully it will make them think twice next time something similar occurs.
What would you have expected the friends to do? Was he still drinking just before he died?
No he had stopped drinking. He just needed company as felt so alone and worthless. was his death alcohol related?He was a diabetic and through his sadness he wasnt eating properly and i dont think he took his insulin when he should. Accidental death or deliberate i will never know."
very sad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I knew a man that was very popular with a great job and lifestyle. Sadly through drinking too much he lost everything. I stayed in touch as knew he was broken. He would cry so much i though he was having a breakdown. I begged other people to visit him and be there to help him through this difficult time but they didnt want involved. I still remember that day i got the phone call to say he was dead. The church at his funeral was packed with people sobbing. I felt like screaming "where the fuck were you all when he needed you most". I was angry with so many people for so long afterwards as knew this man would still have been alive today if they had pulled together and helped him more. To me its human nature to help a friend through good and bad times. Sadly not everyone does."
Sorry that's incorrect. If he was an alchoholic on he could change that, all the cuddles in the world wouldn't have helped him.
I'm sorry for your loss, honestly it's horrible and I speak from experience but that grief isn't yours |
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"I knew a man that was very popular with a great job and lifestyle. Sadly through drinking too much he lost everything. I stayed in touch as knew he was broken. He would cry so much i though he was having a breakdown. I begged other people to visit him and be there to help him through this difficult time but they didnt want involved. I still remember that day i got the phone call to say he was dead. The church at his funeral was packed with people sobbing. I felt like screaming "where the fuck were you all when he needed you most". I was angry with so many people for so long afterwards as knew this man would still have been alive today if they had pulled together and helped him more. To me its human nature to help a friend through good and bad times. Sadly not everyone does.
Sorry that's incorrect. If he was an alchoholic on he could change that, all the cuddles in the world wouldn't have helped him.
I'm sorry for your loss, honestly it's horrible and I speak from experience but that grief isn't yours"
He had stopped drinking. He couldnt live with what he had lst.Maybe the grief wasnt mine but it bloody hurt at the time and still does now after 7yrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I knew a man that was very popular with a great job and lifestyle. Sadly through drinking too much he lost everything. I stayed in touch as knew he was broken. He would cry so much i though he was having a breakdown. I begged other people to visit him and be there to help him through this difficult time but they didnt want involved. I still remember that day i got the phone call to say he was dead. The church at his funeral was packed with people sobbing. I felt like screaming "where the fuck were you all when he needed you most". I was angry with so many people for so long afterwards as knew this man would still have been alive today if they had pulled together and helped him more. To me its human nature to help a friend through good and bad times. Sadly not everyone does.
Sorry that's incorrect. If he was an alchoholic on he could change that, all the cuddles in the world wouldn't have helped him.
I'm sorry for your loss, honestly it's horrible and I speak from experience but that grief isn't yours
He had stopped drinking. He couldnt live with what he had lst.Maybe the grief wasnt mine but it bloody hurt at the time and still does now after 7yrs"
Sad. Honestly I've gone through similar so understand but you or other friends aren't to blame.
He made a choice and you have to try to understand that the choice was his to make. Nobody else's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I deleted my earlier comment as I felt I'd said too much about personal stuff.
I've walked away from someone close who has an addiction. In the end it was a choice between them and my relationship & mental health. So it was a no brainer. They are still alive but I suspect it's just a matter of time before I get the phone call saying they are dead. I sleep soundly at night knowing there is nothing more I could have done and have never regretted my decision. |
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"I deleted my earlier comment as I felt I'd said too much about personal stuff.
I've walked away from someone close who has an addiction. In the end it was a choice between them and my relationship & mental health. So it was a no brainer. They are still alive but I suspect it's just a matter of time before I get the phone call saying they are dead. I sleep soundly at night knowing there is nothing more I could have done and have never regretted my decision."
Yes that i can relate too. My ex had depression for many years. Its hard to live with someone who doesnt speak to you let alone touch you. I stayed until i could take no more. I know people frowned upon me when i left but it was becoming so unbearable and i was deeply unhappy. |
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"I deleted my earlier comment as I felt I'd said too much about personal stuff.
I've walked away from someone close who has an addiction. In the end it was a choice between them and my relationship & mental health. So it was a no brainer. They are still alive but I suspect it's just a matter of time before I get the phone call saying they are dead. I sleep soundly at night knowing there is nothing more I could have done and have never regretted my decision."
I had to do the same thing with a family member. For years it was gambling, then later on in his life there was a painkiller addiction. Lots of mental health issues that I spent years getting him help through various doctors, social workers, therapists, support groups and a number of church organistions. Was there for him for nearly 30 years, but had to walk away for the sake of my own sanity. Texts threatening my 6yr old daughter were the final straw
You beat yourself up when you first walk away but you have to look after yourself. My door is always open, but he needs to contact me if he wants my help again. |
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