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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all
We are newbies and I'm wondering what's the safest way to test the water without damaging a relationship. I can see it going either way for some couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
We are newbies and I'm wondering what's the safest way to test the water without damaging a relationship. I can see it going either way for some couples."
Just as long as you two have talked to each other about it and think your both 100% into swinging and what you both want to try while sampling the lifestyle then you can't go wrong
Good luck guys and enjoy   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk lots together about all possible scenarios and how you might feel. Agree whats ok and whats not ok. Go to a club with a view of just looking to see what goes on. That's what we did and ended up with another couple and had an AMAZING time. Can't wait to do it again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have never sampled the clubs but been swinging for ten years and for me the clubs is the last place I would go, without a shadow of a doubt.
Swinging in a club, obviously my view, would be different than swinging with a couple at theirs or at yours or at a hotel as would swinging with a single female or single male or even an swinging house party with quite a few.
But its really what you both want and desire and need to try to find out what you want
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"Hi all
We are newbies and I'm wondering what's the safest way to test the water without damaging a relationship. I can see it going either way for some couples.
Just as long as you two have talked to each other about it and think your both 100% into swinging and what you both want to try while sampling the lifestyle then you can't go wrong
Good luck guys and enjoy "
Totally disagree with this sry
You do not have to be 100% into swinging at all. If your not sure how things will pan out with it OP, definately take the soft swap route first. Look on here for a couple you are happy with and they are happy to play soft. Get a room and all play on 1 bed but dont swap partners. If either of you are uncomfortable at any point then stop and then talk through what made whoever uncomfortable. If all goes ok after your initial soft play then Slowly progress this to a bit of touchy feely with the other couple on the next occasion. If after heavy petting swaps and touchy feely and no jealousies rise up then you can look at full swapping. Safest way in my opinion if you want to keep your relationship safe and trusting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a word: COMMUNICATION. Talk about everything. Be honest with each other, and don't pressure a reluctant partner into anything.
This is what my limited experience has taught me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I liked about the club scenario was it was impersonal. There was no pressure to talk to anyone or do anything we didn't want to. Maybe not for everyone, but it all worked out for the best for us. Take your time and do what feels right at the right time. Don't rush into anything if there are doubts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
We are newbies and I'm wondering what's the safest way to test the water without damaging a relationship. I can see it going either way for some couples.
Just as long as you two have talked to each other about it and think your both 100% into swinging and what you both want to try while sampling the lifestyle then you can't go wrong
Good luck guys and enjoy
Totally disagree with this sry
You do not have to be 100% into swinging at all. If your not sure how things will pan out with it OP, definately take the soft swap route first. Look on here for a couple you are happy with and they are happy to play soft. Get a room and all play on 1 bed but dont swap partners. If either of you are uncomfortable at any point then stop and then talk through what made whoever uncomfortable. If all goes ok after your initial soft play then Slowly progress this to a bit of touchy feely with the other couple on the next occasion. If after heavy petting swaps and touchy feely and no jealousies rise up then you can look at full swapping. Safest way in my opinion if you want to keep your relationship safe and trusting. "
I'm not saying it as in taking offence as I haven't but there was nothing to disagree with what I said with your post. The 100% comment for swinging means that they both wanting to swing. I have seen relationships finish because one of them aint 100% into it, they maybe doing it for their partner which I personally think is a wrong reason to do it. If, say, the husband wants to try it and the wife thinks she may not like it then that can be dodgy as if they try it and its fails, like you have said for going slow, jealousy etc.. then there could be no way back for them as a relationship.
I didn't say for them to go to a certain level straight away, it covers all levels but communication with each other and openness is the first and foremost.
Like anything you take your time at your pace. Only they can decide what they think is best for them at their pace which could be full on, or soft etc...
Reading all our advice and comments on this matter will hopefully help a little and give them positives and negatives on each way to go etc... but in the end its them who have to decide whats best way.
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Yep but there already saying there not sure about it so if they wait till there 100% sure it either never happens or it does and goes horribly wrong. We dipped our toe in less than 3 years ago and we were no where near into swinging but went to after 8 , finished up on a bed with another newbie couple but never touched them,only partner touching partner . Progressed from there. Talking is paramount as everyone has stated
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep but there already saying there not sure about it so if they wait till there 100% sure it either never happens or it does and goes horribly wrong. We dipped our toe in less than 3 years ago and we were no where near into swinging but went to after 8 , finished up on a bed with another newbie couple but never touched them,only partner touching partner . Progressed from there. Talking is paramount as everyone has stated
"
Agree and understand what you say
Personally for me reading the OP's statement I don't think they are ready. The reason, because there is already a doubt about the effects on their relationship. I personally think, they should just communicate with each other, chatting, talk etc.. until they both know what they want and interests even before they consider starting then all our advices on how to go about it might be interesting for them  |
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"Yep but there already saying there not sure about it so if they wait till there 100% sure it either never happens or it does and goes horribly wrong. We dipped our toe in less than 3 years ago and we were no where near into swinging but went to after 8 , finished up on a bed with another newbie couple but never touched them,only partner touching partner . Progressed from there. Talking is paramount as everyone has stated
Agree and understand what you say
Personally for me reading the OP's statement I don't think they are ready. The reason, because there is already a doubt about the effects on their relationship. I personally think, they should just communicate with each other, chatting, talk etc.. until they both know what they want and interests even before they consider starting then all our advices on how to go about it might be interesting for them "
I would suggest that as they were verified 3 hours before posting this that they might be .....
R |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep but there already saying there not sure about it so if they wait till there 100% sure it either never happens or it does and goes horribly wrong. We dipped our toe in less than 3 years ago and we were no where near into swinging but went to after 8 , finished up on a bed with another newbie couple but never touched them,only partner touching partner . Progressed from there. Talking is paramount as everyone has stated
Agree and understand what you say
Personally for me reading the OP's statement I don't think they are ready. The reason, because there is already a doubt about the effects on their relationship. I personally think, they should just communicate with each other, chatting, talk etc.. until they both know what they want and interests even before they consider starting then all our advices on how to go about it might be interesting for them
I would suggest that as they were verified 3 hours before posting this that they might be .....
R "
To be honest I didn't read their profile, I just replied to their post with what my view/take of it was. |
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