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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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One day, Jack says to Mike "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
"Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and
the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It
takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and better
than a doctor and you get Clubcard points".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He
deposits £5 and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He
pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in
two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the mixture for good
measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen, he deposits
£5, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results with a grin.
The computer prints the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better....
Thank you for shopping at Tesco |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The makers have Fairy Liquid have updated their advert to reflect modern Britain....
"mummy, why are your hands so soft? "...... "cos I'm only 14, now shut the fuck up and go eat you pot noodle! " |
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