FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > when is it not an affair?
when is it not an affair?
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so chatting to someone on here who is married and she came away with this....
its not an affair if its just sex,
an affair has to be the whole package, wine and dine sort of thing,
doing the social thing, going out and not having sex to be an affair
thoughts on this please ? 
ps don't shoot me i'm only the messenger  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say Sex if it's a one off (one night stand) it is classed as cheating but not an affair unless there is an attachment of feelings both physical and /or emotional and its continual lasting days weeks months and so on then its outright affair. |
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"I'd say Sex if it's a one off (one night stand) it is classed as cheating but not an affair unless there is an attachment of feelings both physical and /or emotional and its continual lasting days weeks months and so on then its outright affair."
even if you only meet for sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Still cheating if her spouse does not know about it.If She is meeting same person regularly then it would be classed as an affair (if its continual on more than a few occasions.).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Myself and hubby are on here as swingers..we do not have affairs.
Sex yes. affairs are emotional that said I dont get the folk that do dinners and cinema stuff that I say is crossing the line into affairs. |
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I think there a big diffrence between an affair and a sex meet, unfortuatly there been many a divorce over a sex meet which is just curiosity or an urge, and is a hicup that can be sorted, an affair means the problem runs a lot deeper and the emtional spark has been lost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Regular sex with the same person I would class as cheating. When dinner / cinema are introduced it’s an affair.
Both are cheating regardless. If you can’t tell your partner it’s a because it’s deceitful and could be potentially devastating.
Again, just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One off just sex is cheating, but repeat it and it becomes an affair. A bit pedantic I know."
Have to agree with this one, although many other of the comments also apply. Just my twopence worth |
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In my opinion affairs are not about sex - affairs are about desire for connection, for intensity, for physical touch, for feeling alive. You can have a whole affair with no sex, and it is just as intense and as passionate as if you had actually had the act. It is more enchantment than performance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think an affair is when its more than sex when feelings are involved, random fucks are just cheating
Is it possible to have sex with no feelings/emotions involved?
Yes. But it’s rubbish. Imo"
I was going to say this too but didn't want to sound like a big wuss....so I waited for you  |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I think an affair is when its more than sex when feelings are involved, random fucks are just cheating
Is it possible to have sex with no feelings/emotions involved?
Yes. But it’s rubbish. Imo
I was going to say this too but didn't want to sound like a big wuss....so I waited for you "
Glad I could take the bullet for you you big coward. (As if)
And oldie is spot on too. Imo. |
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Think given the nature of swinging, some people meet just to play/have sex and others build up an established 'playmate' that they meet with often. It doesn't mean there has to be an emotional attachment, but as others have said, I personally like to get to know someone before playing as for me, it's more about how I/we click as a couple with that person that is more important.
Main thing is that we're both honest with each other about playing with others (can be in kink setting) and that's why we can read the messages sent to the other.
Millie  |
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I call bullshit on the whole sex with no feelings or emotional attachment. Unless it's a pair of blow up dolls at it. Even if it's just a one-night stand with some absolute munter, a range of emotions or feelings are still involved. Attraction, anticipation, lust, arousal, satisfaction, excitement to name but a few.
There will always be strings attached. Some are just easier to break than others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I call bullshit on the whole sex with no feelings or emotional attachment. Unless it's a pair of blow up dolls at it. Even if it's just a one-night stand with some absolute munter, a range of emotions or feelings are still involved. Attraction, anticipation, lust, arousal, satisfaction, excitement to name but a few.
There will always be strings attached. Some are just easier to break than others. "
This.
Having had my fair share of both playing away whilst married and being the other woman it all counts.
Is just sex easier to get over than say sex and falling in love, probably. Is it less of a betrayal? Probably not to some and possibly yes to others..
I think once you develop deeper feelings it becomes far more complicated, messy and painful.
Not everyone that embarks on these things is the heartless villan they are often made out to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I call bullshit on the whole sex with no feelings or emotional attachment. Unless it's a pair of blow up dolls at it. Even if it's just a one-night stand with some absolute munter, a range of emotions or feelings are still involved. Attraction, anticipation, lust, arousal, satisfaction, excitement to name but a few.
There will always be strings attached. Some are just easier to break than others.
This.
Having had my fair share of both playing away whilst married and being the other woman it all counts.
Is just sex easier to get over than say sex and falling in love, probably. Is it less of a betrayal? Probably not to some and possibly yes to others..
I think once you develop deeper feelings it becomes far more complicated, messy and painful.
Not everyone that embarks on these things is the heartless villan they are often made out to be. "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I call bullshit on the whole sex with no feelings or emotional attachment. Unless it's a pair of blow up dolls at it. Even if it's just a one-night stand with some absolute munter, a range of emotions or feelings are still involved. Attraction, anticipation, lust, arousal, satisfaction, excitement to name but a few.
There will always be strings attached. Some are just easier to break than others. "
Agreed |
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