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How long since your wife/partner stopped wanting sex
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By *li LuckWoman 15 weeks ago
North devon |
Just to flip the tables. My ex husband stopped wanting sex and we didn't sleep together for the last 18 months of our marriage. And before that it was me who asked for sex hardley ecer him for about 5 years.
Just to note it wasn't the main reason for our spilt. |
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Less and less over the last 9 months. Numerous conversations had, but no solution or consideration to find options to improve their desire. I totally get those who end up feeling like you're pestering the OH for sex the feeling of not wanting to bother anymore 😅😢 |
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"Just to flip the tables. My ex husband stopped wanting sex and we didn't sleep together for the last 18 months of our marriage. And before that it was me who asked for sex hardley ecer him for about 5 years.
Just to note it wasn't the main reason for our spilt. "
we should all have a woman like you wanting sex more
Than the man , I know I do |
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By *ingdonMan 15 weeks ago
Hornchurch |
It’s been about 20 years since we had sex. She wasn’t that interested even when we did but enjoyed anal sex, fisting and was a squirter. She had no interest in cock or cum anywhere near her mouth so no BJ’s
Not sure if she would approve or not if I strayed - even if she found out. Don’t stop me trying though |
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By *li LuckWoman 15 weeks ago
North devon |
"Just to flip the tables. My ex husband stopped wanting sex and we didn't sleep together for the last 18 months of our marriage. And before that it was me who asked for sex hardley ecer him for about 5 years.
Just to note it wasn't the main reason for our spilt. we should all have a woman like you wanting sex more
Than the man , I know I do "
I kind of just wanted to piont out although it is not as common it does happen the other way around.
Even my female gp raised her eyebrows after she asked me about sex and I replied to say that we don't have sex very often, she went on to saybits fine your a busy mum it's okay to not want aex. I then pointed out to her that it wasn't me who doesn't want sex.
And I will say cos im sure it is going through some guys heads.
NO he wasn't fucking someone else. He had health problems and wasn't allowed to drive, and I was a work from home mum so he never left the house without me and wasn't able to kneel anyone in. I'm sure some of you thought it. Lol |
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Continuing to be a ‘shoulder to cry on’ for my longest friend who’s had a torrid time in the last couple of years; he’s gone from never even considering when he’d next have sex as it was (by and large) an ever present, to wondering if this is the last time he’ll ever be intimate with his wife; it’s so infrequent nowadays.
Changed his personality and the impact upon him has been unbelievable. |
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About 7-8 years ago she stopped wanting sex she said that she's too tired or can't be bothered. She went through the change in her late 40s and now all I get is a kiss goodnight no cuddles or anything. |
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Reading these threads they all feel very similar. Exactly the same in my case, just gradually having less and less and feeling really awkward initiating it - like I’m pestering. Gone are the cuddles that turned into sex, just feels like we are going through the motions to keep me happy! Shame too cos I really enjoy her and tell her but I’m blaming the change. So inevitably right hand led to chatting, to here and to meets. It’s not great behaviour but it does satisfy me on a physical, and to a certain extent emotional level, and that has stopped me leaving my best friend of many decades. Maybe I should be putting something in her cornflakes?, I have started growing large amounts of asparagus and at least I can blame that for my bedroom advances. I’d give anything for her to roll over this morning and grab my cock like she used to! lol….. probably too much information!  |
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"Reading these threads they all feel very similar. Exactly the same in my case, just gradually having less and less and feeling really awkward initiating it - like I’m pestering. Gone are the cuddles that turned into sex, just feels like we are going through the motions to keep me happy! Shame too cos I really enjoy her and tell her but I’m blaming the change. So inevitably right hand led to chatting, to here and to meets. It’s not great behaviour but it does satisfy me on a physical, and to a certain extent emotional level, and that has stopped me leaving my best friend of many decades. Maybe I should be putting something in her cornflakes?, I have started growing large amounts of asparagus and at least I can blame that for my bedroom advances. I’d give anything for her to roll over this morning and grab my cock like she used to! lol….. probably too much information! "
I know exactly what you're going through my wife is exactly the same as your wife doesn't show any affection whatsoever anymore and it's been like that for 4 years now |
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The last time, I think it was June/July 2023. It might have been earlier.
Menopause and hip and back issues.
I still offer my services to her. I would kiss or lick her anywhere she wanted it does not have to be penetrative sex.
I just get knocked back.
She does not seem bothered at all.
I wish she would look for help, I read about oestrogen creams and other things that might help, I have even suggested.
I wonder if I was always shit at sex and she is just glad not to have to bother.
It gets me down and makes life seem somewhat pointless. After 30 years of marriage does it potentially mean another 30 years of marriage but sexless.
I think of leaving but a divorce at this stage would see me working for the next 30 years. Life in general is ok but when your wife gives up on a sex life it feels like a half life.
I wonder if she would give me permission to look elsewhere?
Perhaps it is me and I need to improve my communication skills. I read some of the other comments and it does not inspire hope. |
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I had no idea this was such a common thing… there are a lot of people on Fab who are very quick to pass judgement that if us guys are in a sexless marriage it’s 100% our own fault.
My storey is the same… once she had all the things she wanted, a ring on her hand a roof overhead and the all important baby on her hip that was it… in a decade it must be less than 10 times… the last three four years nothing at all… I’m not proud of myself for what I am doing here but, changing hands and getting a selection of toys isn’t quite the same… There’s no emotional engagement with a fleshlight.
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I'm actually relieved reading this, I thought i was nearly the only one not getting anything at home. It's been years since we did anything worth talking about. We really love each other and do everything together, just no sex life. |
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Mine just stopped shagging me quite happy with her colleagues it turned out .. 2 years split, but probably 3 dry years before with only occasional sex , maybe 5 times a year if that ..
life is better now |
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Can’t remember exactly now but around 13 yrs ago she went off sex but with her consent met a lovely couple for about 5yrs after that where he couldn’t get a full erection & I helped to satisfy her needs & him occasionally with a wank unfortunately ended after his cancer returned & passed away I now enjoy my sex life with my hands lol lovely wanking |
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14 years . To be honest probably mutual decision. Since then I’ve had flings with 9 different women. Four of those in sexless relationships so it was mutual benefit. The others from work or dating sites . Met a lady in PDI while on solo holiday last October. So looking forward to more meets to cum |
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Like the OP, about 15 years.
She hit menopause & it dropped off rapidly. We have tried, once or twice, usually whilst on holiday but never actually completed the act.
I have met so many other guys with similar stories & issues but it's very rare to meet a woman, in a sexless marriage. Although I am sure there are many, who still crave the closeness & sensuality. |
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My wife had radical surgery 14 years ago which killed her confidence and sexual drive. We occasionally enjoyed mutual masturbation but that now has stopped too as I gave up asking and being refused.
Hence my decision to join fab and enjoy the company of guys and gals on here.
She doesn't know and would be mortified if she found out. |
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"Just to flip the tables. My ex husband stopped wanting sex and we didn't sleep together for the last 18 months of our marriage. And before that it was me who asked for sex hardley ecer him for about 5 years.
Just to note it wasn't the main reason for our spilt. we should all have a woman like you wanting sex more
Than the man , I know I do
I kind of just wanted to piont out although it is not as common it does happen the other way around.
Even my female gp raised her eyebrows after she asked me about sex and I replied to say that we don't have sex very often, she went on to saybits fine your a busy mum it's okay to not want aex. I then pointed out to her that it wasn't me who doesn't want sex.
And I will say cos im sure it is going through some guys heads.
NO he wasn't fucking someone else. He had health problems and wasn't allowed to drive, and I was a work from home mum so he never left the house without me and wasn't able to kneel anyone in. I'm sure some of you thought it. Lol"
It’s really sad when relationships get to that point. It’s very true that everyone needs to feel good about themselves before they feel desirable and there’s many that don’t work at it. There’s lots of couples on Fab with attractive ladies & ‘gave up years ago’ men….never a good combination unless they’re ok with a cuck relationship. Fab life can be brutal. Lots of men who almost never or never get sex and a few that just get loads. Very empowering for the choosy ladies  |
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There are a lot of us all who share the same scenarios and stories... but we all must remember that sex is a physical need.. not an emotional one.. that is why we are here... not to leave our partners or our best friends, soul mates, but to scratch an itch.... |
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Over 10 years since she lost her enthusiasm and nearly a decade since she lost interest entirely.
I'm long passed grieving the relationship we had, have got accustomed to the different relationship which remains, and am content in chasing the rest with other people. |
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By *li LuckWoman 4 weeks ago
North devon |
"Just to flip the tables. My ex husband stopped wanting sex and we didn't sleep together for the last 18 months of our marriage. And before that it was me who asked for sex hardley ecer him for about 5 years.
Just to note it wasn't the main reason for our spilt. we should all have a woman like you wanting sex more
Than the man , I know I do
I kind of just wanted to piont out although it is not as common it does happen the other way around.
Even my female gp raised her eyebrows after she asked me about sex and I replied to say that we don't have sex very often, she went on to saybits fine your a busy mum it's okay to not want aex. I then pointed out to her that it wasn't me who doesn't want sex.
And I will say cos im sure it is going through some guys heads.
NO he wasn't fucking someone else. He had health problems and wasn't allowed to drive, and I was a work from home mum so he never left the house without me and wasn't able to kneel anyone in. I'm sure some of you thought it. Lol
It’s really sad when relationships get to that point. It’s very true that everyone needs to feel good about themselves before they feel desirable and there’s many that don’t work at it. There’s lots of couples on Fab with attractive ladies & ‘gave up years ago’ men….never a good combination unless they’re ok with a cuck relationship. Fab life can be brutal. Lots of men who almost never or never get sex and a few that just get loads. Very empowering for the choosy ladies "
What I had realised in hindsight is that when we had sex the emotional onnection and the happy chemicals it released made it easy for me to over look everything else that was wrong in our marriage.
Tbh I never thought my journey would end up here once I became single, it just became the next step on the path I decided to take. |
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Personally I think the menopause is a great excuse for some women to cheat.
My wife went off sex, going from being a nymphomaniac to a nun.
No sex for years, unless I brought up if she was seeing someone else.
Every time that came up I'd get a blowjob.
Which was nice, just a completely different technique to she used to suck me.
Fast forward to a few months ago, and after years if suspicions, they were proved right.
She wasn't still suffering with the menopause, as she was fucking at least 2 guys that I knew of.
She ripped a lovely family apart. |
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My partner of 9 years used to want it all the time. We got engaged and planned on getting married. Unfortunately circumstances prevented that and slowly sex has become less and less. The menopause also set in. We now rarely sleep together apart from occassional short breaks. On these breaks, I feel I hastle her for sex and am slowly giving up on her. I pay for everything and seem to be getting very little back. She constantly moans about having no money. Ifeel used and its tiring! |
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Seems to be a familiar theme .. which we’re currently experiencing…we’ve always had different sex drives but with the menopause this has led to sex become increasingly infrequent
Don’t classify us as particularly old ..just can’t see it improving anytime soon |
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For those women who have navigated through the Menopause... Or partners of those, does the sex ever return, or comes back and is different. A lot of doom and gloom hearing of those x number of years of no sex after menopause. Wonder if this is direct causal link or the degree that other elements of your relationship has simply caused your relationship and sex within that to fizzle out? |
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It’s been the last 10 yrs now I have to beg and argue it shouldn’t have to be like that and now I’m on here i know everyone in the same boat but has anyone got tip on getting it back instead of saying it over thanks |
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