The constable looks up from his notepad and looks me square in the eye.
"Can you just remind us, for the record what you were doing on Aylesbury Road around 1pm when we passed you, Miss Hope?"
"Mrs Hope." I remind him.
"Excuse me?" he asks.
"It's Mrs Hope. I am married."
The constable shifts in his seat.
"Oh, okay. So if you could just say what you and Mr Hope were, er, um, doing in the layby on Aylesbury Road at approximately 1pm this afternoon when myself and constable Black passed in our patrol car?"
"It wasn't my husband."
"Sorry?" constable Perkins asks with raised eyebrows.
"The man I was with... he wasn't my husband." I reply, in a matter of fact tone.
"But you were..."
"Yes?" I ask.
"You were... having intercourse..."
"And?" I ask, again.
He clears his throat and continues.
"So the man you were having intercourse with in the layby, when we passed was not your husband?"
"No. I had only just met him."
"He was a stranger? You were having intercourse with a stranger. In a layby. In broad daylight. In public. Where anyone could see."
"Well, not where everyone could see. We were on the other side of the car."
"That's as maybe, Mrs Hope but we saw everything as we passed."
"Did you though?" I ask.
"Well, pretty much everything..." he smiles.
"You couldn't have."
"You didn't leave much to the imagination..."
"As I remember it, I was fully clothed and even had my knickers on!"
"He had your dress pulled up Mrs Hope!"
"Only as far as my waist, at the back as well." I remind him.
"Well, we could see exactly what you were doing and I am afraid, that's public indecency."
"We were just admiring the view." I say, after a moments pause.
"The view?"
"Yes. The view. We are into bird watching."
"Bird watching? It was clear to us you weren't bird watching."
"What were we doing that you have evidence for?" I ask.
"Well.. it was obvious the man you were with had your dress up around your waist and was er, copulating, I mean, having intercourse with you..."
"Look, officer," I say lowering my voice a little. "It doesn't matter if I had only just met him ten minutes earlier, sucked his cock to get him hard as he chatted to MY husband on MY phone about what a complete slut his dirty wife was for meeting strange men and sucking their cocks and then proceeding to bend me over in the layby and ram his eight inch meat right up my tight little arse hole after nothing more congenial than spitting on it before he rogered me senseless... you don't have any evidence, do you?"
The constable looks a little taken aback. He reaches down under the desk and straightens something growing in his pants.
"I think that will be all," he says "I am satisfied this was all a misunderstanding on our part and we are very sorry for wasting your time."
"Thank you." I say as I pick up my phone and make my way to the door.
"Er, please make sure we don't catch you doing anything like this again, Mrs Hope." the constable adds as I reach for the door.
"I won't" I say with a smile.
"You won't what?"
"I won't let you catch me..."
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