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Whatever people say I am thats what I'm not

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Part One - The view from the afternoon

“Anticipation has the habit to set you up

For disappointment in evening entertainment, but

Tonight there’ll be some love…

Now, you should bare in mind that I, a single male interested in the swinging scene have never been to a club. When I say in interested in the scene I mean I like fucking and don’t want any responsibility after the fucking is done, and ideally not expose myself to be the crippling bore that I am. Sex, not much talking and outta there.

This is a story of a first club visit and the obsession that grew out of it.

It started with a call from a friend “Get on your dancing shoes, you sexy little swine”

“lol what? you daft twat”

“we’re going out, that club i was telling you about… we’re in, call it a birthday treat on me”

“It’s not my birthday for 3 months”

“Shut up and get ready, i’ll be there at 8”

Reader, you must understand, I’m not the most confident of people and the summons from my friend to go to a swinging club quite frankly scared the living shit out of me. I bathed, shaved, gave the pubes a trim and dressed as smart and casual as my panicking brain could allow.

He picks me up, and we drive for an hour or so. We make small talk and I sit there wondering if I’ll be seeing my mates cock, ‘why did I think of that?” i say out loud. “what?” “don’t worry mate”

We arrive at the club, it looks like a warehouse, its surrounded by warehouses, this feels dodgy, “this it?” “yeah, I know what you’re thinking but we’re going it you soft fuck”

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Part Two - You Probably Couldn't See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight At Me

We go through the usual rigmarole of entering a club, two bouncers, one of ‘em was alright the other was a scary’n, his way or no way totalitarian. But whatever we got in, had a tour by the manager, everything is wipe downable, it’s tacky as fuck. What am I doing? “What am I doing?” “You’re gonna have a good night, come on lets get a drink”

We stand at the bar, my friend is a confident cocky twat who can talk for hours to anyone. He’s off chatting to people as the place fills up. I stand glued to the bar. Theres a dance floor, no one dances, people are chatting, packs of men are following couples around as they break away to find peace. I grip my bottle of J2O and wish to not exist.

45 minutes pass and I have another drink and a chat with a nice couple who put me at ease, the dance floor has filled up, my mate is next to me again, I’m relaxing but can’t imagine actually getting… hang on, I notice a woman dancing. She’s short, curvy, she’s got a grey streak in her hair, well what I can see of her hair, she’s gorgeous. Just one look from her sends it coursing through my veins, oh how the feeling races.

My mate looks at me, he knows, he sees my face “It’s the reason that you came, so what you scared for? Oh don’t you always do the same, it’s what you there for”

I’ve seen my future bride, but it seems oh so absurd, for me to say the first word, so I’m waiting and waiting.

The room is a blur but for her, I don’t notice anyone, except for the other guys who’ve eyes on her, but fuck them, they don’t want to say hello like i want to say hello, she’s done dancing, she needs a drink, she’s coming this way, well, the heartbeat’s at its peak and she’s coming up to speak. And oh, I’m so tense, never tenser, could go all a bit Frank Spencer … “Are you going to say hello or just stare at me all night?”

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By *d59michelleTV/TS over a year ago

walsall

Arctic Monkeys

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Part Three - Still take you home

If it weren’t this dark she’d have seen how red my face had gone. “Yeah, hi, I was admiring your dance moves, you look good on the dance floor”

“oh yeah? listen, I know the lights are flashing, down in here tonight, and some might exchange a glance but keep pretending to dance, but not me”

Internally I’m thinking this can’t be happening, I usually feel as if it impolite to go and mention my name but then I then just do the same and do nothing but hope for the best.

We talk, all night, something clicks in my head and I’m one of those guys suddenly, trying to crack the jokes that make her smile, suddenly i’m showing off, and if I claimed i’m not i’d be drowning in denial. As I relax and we chat and we flirt she becomes more than a part in the play, and that makes it easier to think what to say. She had me standing on my head doing my best tricks.

We talk about why we’re there and have similar underlying motivations, we’re scared, we want attention “why am I telling you this?” I say, we talk about not being part of this crowd, that this isn’t what we want, theres a gangbang happening on the other side of the dance floor, it dun’t take no Sherlock Holmes to see its a little different around here.

We’re not interested in just shagging, “lets get to know each other first, I think we’ll be glad we did” she says, “I live 30 minutes away, come to mine and we’ll get some food and we’ll chat, do you like noodles?”

I tell my friend I’m off, I’m following this adventure to see where it leads. He’s chuffed, he’s getting his cock sucked, I see his cock.

We catch a taxi, ‘£2.50? we’ve only gone a yard” we hatch a plot to jump it, went for it but the red light was showing, and the red light indicates doors are secured.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago