A while ago we decided for the moment, we are not looking for single males but will instead focus on couples and single fems. To say we have found things frustrating is an understatement. The people we have met at clubs are great but online has been a litany of fakes, picture collectors and a new thing we haven't experienced before - random blockers.
Over the last couple of weeks, and with the absence of clubs, we have had to engage with people online and initially found this fun, however on several occasions now we have spent considerable time discussing things with couples and seemingly getting on fine, only to find ourselves suddenly and inexplicably 'blocked'. In one instance, the prior message was from them discussing where we could meet when that happens so it makes no sense.
My theory is that most time, we are speaking with one half of the couple who is enthusiastic but when the other half appears and isn't so keen the block button gets pushed.
We use blocks ourselves, if we are pestered by someone excessively or someone has been rude, but wouldn't dream of doing it mid-conversation.
The thing is it just comes across as rudeness and where I shrug it off as just there being idiots out there, my other half takes things more personally so in turn it ends up affecting our enjoyment of this scene and forces us to put up additional barriers.
We are now in the process of locking down much of our profile and will have to insist on having validation that both halves of the couple are interested before divulging info/pics or having any in depth chat. Given we have very little time for socials and the like, having to grab the few hours we can - I suspect we won't have many conversations to worry about!
I guess I'm just venting really, as it seems like many couples on here are not really couples and don't communicate well, are just one half (usually the male) wanting something to wank over without any intention of meeting up in the future or are just downright rude.
I know we are probably not the only ones who have been frustrated by this, but my message to couples who routinely 'block' is to please please please....if you have already struck up a rapport, even if with only one of you, a note to say that your other half isn't keen or you're looking for something else or don't really feel ready to meet even if restrictions are lifted, would be fine and it just closes things out neatly. Blocking with no context or message just makes you look rude and makes us just feel used.
Perhaps an idea would be as part of the block functionality, an optional text box where the reason for the block can be added. Then, rather than being surprised and perplexed as to why we are on a block list, it would at least make sense. |
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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago
Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish) |
Blocking like that is something we would never dream of, but when it happens to us we basically haven't got a problem with it. We'd rather be locked mid-conversation than lead along a merry path to nowhere, wasting our time.
People are people and everyone does things differently, my advice would be to not dwell on it and just shrug your shoulders and move on. It ain't worth stressing over. |
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Oh I agree it stops things before any more time is wasted, I just think the recent examples we had were after quite extensive chats with everything looking rosy, so it can be hard not to feel put out.
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Well we just have to implement something to at least know that both halves of the couple are invested, and not just one half (the male, usually).
That will likely mean valid couples being put off, but I think it's the only way.
Aside from that, probably just a bit more thought from folk who do it. It's easy to do but it's as rude as getting on like a house on fire with a date but then leaving without warning when they are nipping to the loo! I'd have thought general social etiquette would be a given but it seems not. [And I don't think most do it in malice, they just may not think] |
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People don't like saying no to others.
We haven't encountered the block without warning scenario though, normally they just stop replying. If that happens we just assume they're no longer interested.
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