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The things I've learnt as a single guy on fab
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So this is a bit of an informative observation from my time on and off Fab as a single guy.
1. Do read profiles. The bio in the provide of a single lady is there is give you an idea of what they're looking for. If you're a white guys and they have explicated stated "BLACK GUYS ONLY" then is it worth the investment of your time to message them. You may be a sexual god in the bedroom, but just like you either like or hate marmite. Women's tastes are just the same. It has come from years of trials, errors and experience. So why not acknowledge them for it. Spend your time pursuing women who would have a higher chance of success with. Minimal effort, maximum gains.
2. Face to face interactions vs first messages. This is a mistake commonly made by guys, and women to be fair. If you were to meet a woman in the real world. Say, at a bar. You can pull off the word "Hey!". Because your body language does 80% of the work to express the intent behind that singular exclamation. But, simply stating "Hey" in your first message isn't going to work. You don't have the benefit of seeing their physical reactions to that word to decide what to do next. Nor is stating "I want to cum over those massive tits". Yes you are getting the intent across in a very "descriptive" way. But, you've also portrayed yourself as a one-track minded individual.
Online messaging is like writing a fictional novel. As in fiction, you can see the clear message and intent passed from the author to you the reader.
The best messages where women have replied back to me have all be curated based on their status updates. It's in the moment and off the cuff. And this is where the one-tracked mind is put to rest and creativity blossoms. Which follow to my next point.
3. Being original. There are at usually 30k people on Fab in the evening. Most of them are guys who have just finished work. You're tired, bored and frustrated as your dick hasn't been tended to during the day with your dominate hand (or non-dominate if you're in the mood for something freaky).
During this time you fall into your primitive state and just blast out the same message to every single lady as far away as the gas in your car will allow you (you forget about the return journey).
The down side of this is simple. Women can see this a million miles away. You've got approach your interactions with women on here as your were on a night out with your mates, stone cold sober whilst they're loosening up and chatting to every women entering their peripheral vision. And to be fair, succeeding and failing.
Your messages have to be someone relatable to your target audience and has to bring across your personality, when you're sober. Having sex d*unk isn't really fun or rememberable the morning after. So why not carry that energy throughout the interaction.
4. The meet. Now you are meeting some lady for the first time. Is she going to meet the online you or the physical you. Think about this carefully. You are no longer a picture on a computer screen, you are a tangible physical mass of skin and bones.
Yes, when the prospect of your dick getting touched by someone other than yourself is right in front of you. Don't jump the gun. This isn't the Olympics and you are not trying to set a world record here. You're only at the start line.
Be the person you are when you're by yourself, only now you're in the company of someone else this time. Don't lie or pretend to be someone else. There is not Clark Kent/Superman or Bruce Wayne/Batman here. Just you and a lady.
The chances of you fucking this meeting up is high. As now she can see if your words reflect who you are. So my advice, relax. Because she is in the same boat as you. She has taken a leap of faith to meet you. So as cliche as it sounds just be yourself.
I won't go into any more details after this as it's now pretty much depends on a person-by-person basis.
From here I focus on whether I want to carry on the interaction or leave it. Because one trick doesn't work on all. Reading this person and understanding them is key at this point so as to not embarrass yourself or them. |
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Moved across from other thread:
Compliments are nice... but don't tell us much about you.
If every message is a compliment about every picture on our profile, that just tells us you have eyes and can see.
Let's find out if we'll click beyond the physical.
And YES to reading profiles!
Ours says specifically that anal is for Mr Racer's pleasure and privilege only, yet the messages we get about wanting to "pound that ass" is cringeworthy! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"7 weeks in and you've really cracked it x"
Haha, It has been 7 weeks on this profile. But, the overall experience coming on an off Fab fro around 6 years has been relatively the same. |
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
If a single guy is going to message a couple then address both the MALE and female respectfuly.
Sounds simple doesnt it yet 95% of single males dont follow this from our experience.
KJ x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
If a single guy is going to message a couple then address both the MALE and female respectfuly.
Sounds simple doesnt it yet 95% of single males dont follow this from our experience.
KJ x "
The unfortunate thing is that single guys who come on here expect to only meet women. They get intimidated with the prospect of another guy involved with the interaction.
Look at it this way. If a guy came on to your girl in a bar. All of a sudden you roll up next to her. What would that guys response be. Fear and confusion.
There is a right way to handle that situation. But, they would have to read the dynamic between the guy and his girl. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also add
(A) take a hint if she isnt interested
(B) dont throw a cow if they say no
(C) as true as in real world - respect peoples boundries
(D) my personal fab mantra... Respect the lady, desire the “slut” , cherish the people you are meeting and the time you are meeting
(E) Last minuite meets are tempting but seldom work well if you haven’t been talking or getting to know each other for long |
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By *niper oneMan
over a year ago
DERBY/Notts border |
"So this is a bit of an informative observation from my time on and off Fab as a single guy.
1. Do read profiles. The bio in the provide of a single lady is there is give you an idea of what they're looking for. If you're a white guys and they have explicated stated "BLACK GUYS ONLY" then is it worth the investment of your time to message them. You may be a sexual god in the bedroom, but just like you either like or hate marmite. Women's tastes are just the same. It has come from years of trials, errors and experience. So why not acknowledge them for it. Spend your time pursuing women who would have a higher chance of success with. Minimal effort, maximum gains.
2. Face to face interactions vs first messages. This is a mistake commonly made by guys, and women to be fair. If you were to meet a woman in the real world. Say, at a bar. You can pull off the word "Hey!". Because your body language does 80% of the work to express the intent behind that singular exclamation. But, simply stating "Hey" in your first message isn't going to work. You don't have the benefit of seeing their physical reactions to that word to decide what to do next. Nor is stating "I want to cum over those massive tits". Yes you are getting the intent across in a very "descriptive" way. But, you've also portrayed yourself as a one-track minded individual.
Online messaging is like writing a fictional novel. As in fiction, you can see the clear message and intent passed from the author to you the reader.
The best messages where women have replied back to me have all be curated based on their status updates. It's in the moment and off the cuff. And this is where the one-tracked mind is put to rest and creativity blossoms. Which follow to my next point.
3. Being original. There are at usually 30k people on Fab in the evening. Most of them are guys who have just finished work. You're tired, bored and frustrated as your dick hasn't been tended to during the day with your dominate hand (or non-dominate if you're in the mood for something freaky).
During this time you fall into your primitive state and just blast out the same message to every single lady as far away as the gas in your car will allow you (you forget about the return journey).
The down side of this is simple. Women can see this a million miles away. You've got approach your interactions with women on here as your were on a night out with your mates, stone cold sober whilst they're loosening up and chatting to every women entering their peripheral vision. And to be fair, succeeding and failing.
Your messages have to be someone relatable to your target audience and has to bring across your personality, when you're sober. Having sex d*unk isn't really fun or rememberable the morning after. So why not carry that energy throughout the interaction.
4. The meet. Now you are meeting some lady for the first time. Is she going to meet the online you or the physical you. Think about this carefully. You are no longer a picture on a computer screen, you are a tangible physical mass of skin and bones.
Yes, when the prospect of your dick getting touched by someone other than yourself is right in front of you. Don't jump the gun. This isn't the Olympics and you are not trying to set a world record here. You're only at the start line.
Be the person you are when you're by yourself, only now you're in the company of someone else this time. Don't lie or pretend to be someone else. There is not Clark Kent/Superman or Bruce Wayne/Batman here. Just you and a lady.
The chances of you fucking this meeting up is high. As now she can see if your words reflect who you are. So my advice, relax. Because she is in the same boat as you. She has taken a leap of faith to meet you. So as cliche as it sounds just be yourself.
I won't go into any more details after this as it's now pretty much depends on a person-by-person basis.
From here I focus on whether I want to carry on the interaction or leave it. Because one trick doesn't work on all. Reading this person and understanding them is key at this point so as to not embarrass yourself or them."
So to sum it up its pot luck only. |
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This really ought to be obvious, but...
Honesty isn't the best policy - honesty is the ONLY policy.
The one that cracks me up is that, so I'm told, some chaps lie about height. Really? Your date isn't going to notice...?
My favourite, though, is the chap who turned up for a first meet looking nothing like his photos, because he'd posted pictures of his son... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If a single guy is going to message a couple then address both the MALE and female respectfuly.
Sounds simple doesnt it yet 95% of single males dont follow this from our experience.
KJ x "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Most annoying are guys posting photos of themselves 20 years ago and then when you see them today look totally different and old.! Whats the point if you want to meet them you need to see how they look now x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So this is a bit of an informative observation from my time on and off Fab as a single guy.
1. Do read profiles. The bio in the provide of a single lady is there is give you an idea of what they're looking for. If you're a white guys and they have explicated stated "BLACK GUYS ONLY" then is it worth the investment of your time to message them. You may be a sexual god in the bedroom, but just like you either like or hate marmite. Women's tastes are just the same. It has come from years of trials, errors and experience. So why not acknowledge them for it. Spend your time pursuing women who would have a higher chance of success with. Minimal effort, maximum gains.
2. Face to face interactions vs first messages. This is a mistake commonly made by guys, and women to be fair. If you were to meet a woman in the real world. Say, at a bar. You can pull off the word "Hey!". Because your body language does 80% of the work to express the intent behind that singular exclamation. But, simply stating "Hey" in your first message isn't going to work. You don't have the benefit of seeing their physical reactions to that word to decide what to do next. Nor is stating "I want to cum over those massive tits". Yes you are getting the intent across in a very "descriptive" way. But, you've also portrayed yourself as a one-track minded individual.
Online messaging is like writing a fictional novel. As in fiction, you can see the clear message and intent passed from the author to you the reader.
The best messages where women have replied back to me have all be curated based on their status updates. It's in the moment and off the cuff. And this is where the one-tracked mind is put to rest and creativity blossoms. Which follow to my next point.
3. Being original. There are at usually 30k people on Fab in the evening. Most of them are guys who have just finished work. You're tired, bored and frustrated as your dick hasn't been tended to during the day with your dominate hand (or non-dominate if you're in the mood for something freaky).
During this time you fall into your primitive state and just blast out the same message to every single lady as far away as the gas in your car will allow you (you forget about the return journey).
The down side of this is simple. Women can see this a million miles away. You've got approach your interactions with women on here as your were on a night out with your mates, stone cold sober whilst they're loosening up and chatting to every women entering their peripheral vision. And to be fair, succeeding and failing.
Your messages have to be someone relatable to your target audience and has to bring across your personality, when you're sober. Having sex d*unk isn't really fun or rememberable the morning after. So why not carry that energy throughout the interaction.
4. The meet. Now you are meeting some lady for the first time. Is she going to meet the online you or the physical you. Think about this carefully. You are no longer a picture on a computer screen, you are a tangible physical mass of skin and bones.
Yes, when the prospect of your dick getting touched by someone other than yourself is right in front of you. Don't jump the gun. This isn't the Olympics and you are not trying to set a world record here. You're only at the start line.
Be the person you are when you're by yourself, only now you're in the company of someone else this time. Don't lie or pretend to be someone else. There is not Clark Kent/Superman or Bruce Wayne/Batman here. Just you and a lady.
The chances of you fucking this meeting up is high. As now she can see if your words reflect who you are. So my advice, relax. Because she is in the same boat as you. She has taken a leap of faith to meet you. So as cliche as it sounds just be yourself.
I won't go into any more details after this as it's now pretty much depends on a person-by-person basis.
From here I focus on whether I want to carry on the interaction or leave it. Because one trick doesn't work on all. Reading this person and understanding them is key at this point so as to not embarrass yourself or them."
So nice to see this. Great post |
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
"
If a single guy is going to message a couple then address both the MALE and female respectfuly.
Sounds simple doesnt it yet 95% of single males dont follow this from our experience.
KJ x
The unfortunate thing is that single guys who come on here expect to only meet women. They get intimidated with the prospect of another guy involved with the interaction.
Look at it this way. If a guy came on to your girl in a bar. All of a sudden you roll up next to her. What would that guys response be. Fear and confusion.
There is a right way to handle that situation. But, they would have to read the dynamic between the guy and his girl."
Your example makes little sense?
Those single guys who are only looking for women need to just message single women surely?
Why with a single guy who would be intimated by another male be even interested and messaging a couple? Especially coupleswho clearly state they only play together?
If you are messaging a couple you arent messaging a single women you are messaging a team of 2 people therefore just show a little respect and address both those people in the message.
Most message the female half of the couple as if the male doesnt exist. Its rude, poor form and a 1 way ticket to most block lists.
For your example to make any sense it would be like a single male knowingly approaching a couple who are clearly together in a bar and instead of saying hi to both people blatantly ignoring the male half of the couple whilst only speaking to / flirting with / even been crude to the female half of the couple. That shit wouldnt fly in real life and we know a lot of swinging couples and it rarely does on here either. It wouldnt go down at all well in a swinging club either.
KJ x |
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"Also add
(A) take a hint if she isnt interested
(B) dont throw a cow if they say no
(C) as true as in real world - respect peoples boundries
(D) my personal fab mantra... Respect the lady, desire the “slut” , cherish the people you are meeting and the time you are meeting
(E) Last minuite meets are tempting but seldom work well if you haven’t been talking or getting to know each other for long"
jeez the amount of men throwing their toys out of their pram and getting really nasty when you politely decline. All I said was " sorry its a no. Happy fabbing"... the personal abuse I get in return is disgusting. some even racist  |
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"7 weeks in and you've really cracked it x
Haha, It has been 7 weeks on this profile. But, the overall experience coming on an off Fab fro around 6 years has been relatively the same."
Exactly it is a learning curve for men
Maybe some ‘get it’ immediately, others have ‘attributes’ that mean they don’t have to!
But most of us men I’d say, the ones that stick around, learn how things work on here
Reading profiles and status updates I’d agree with is absolutely critical - sure some are ‘fill in later’ after 5 months but many say you’re exactly what they’re not after
And the success rate for replies is way higher in my experience if you fit their criteria right from their start and articulate yourself well |
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"And don't put "I know my profile says straight but I am actually bi"
Instant delete."
We don't mind that so much, as understand why they put straight. But men who say they are straight, don't even mention being bi in there message to us. How pointless. Or even more stupid, just send a wink. Pillocks.
We've met lots of great men on here. So they are not all silly. Let's have a round of applause for the sensible men on here |
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"Moved across from other thread:
Compliments are nice... but don't tell us much about you.
If every message is a compliment about every picture on our profile, that just tells us you have eyes and can see.
Let's find out if we'll click beyond the physical.
And YES to reading profiles!
Ours says specifically that anal is for Mr Racer's pleasure and privilege only, yet the messages we get about wanting to "pound that ass" is cringeworthy!"
Reading and then respecting people's preferences is my number 1 advice to single men. |
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"Do many men think with their brains when they message? genuine question   "
I can genuinely say that I do and I am sure there are many more out there but going by womens statuses it appears that 99% dont. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Also add
(A) take a hint if she isnt interested
(B) dont throw a cow if they say no
(C) as true as in real world - respect peoples boundries
(D) my personal fab mantra... Respect the lady, desire the “slut” , cherish the people you are meeting and the time you are meeting
(E) Last minuite meets are tempting but seldom work well if you haven’t been talking or getting to know each other for long
jeez the amount of men throwing their toys out of their pram and getting really nasty when you politely decline. All I said was " sorry its a no. Happy fabbing"... the personal abuse I get in return is disgusting. some even racist "
I bet you though most of the single male profiles that throw abuse are those that mysteriously vanish in a week - you know... the standard chearters,talkers,fantasists and trolls.
I hate the racist stuff, had a couple of those messages. Had one person who asked if I was into desi taboo roleplay 
Like racism is now sexual gratification! |
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"This really ought to be obvious, but...
Honesty isn't the best policy - honesty is the ONLY policy.
The one that cracks me up is that, so I'm told, some chaps lie about height. Really? Your date isn't going to notice...?
My favourite, though, is the chap who turned up for a first meet looking nothing like his photos, because he'd posted pictures of his son..."
  |
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