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Dilemma – selling yourself
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I’m considering rewriting my profile this weekend. I’m presented with something of a conundrum, however.
What’s the best way to present yourself when a lot of your “selling points” are things that Men on The Internet™ constantly lie through their teeth about?
If there’s an easy answer to this, it has so far eluded me.
Other profile feedback or suggestions are welcome, of course.
- How is it in terms of length? Should it be shorter or longer?
- Is the level of specificity okay? Should there be more detail, or should it be a general overview?
- Is there a better way of photographing the male body? A suit is not an option for me.
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"Why is a suit not an option for you ?
Because I'm absurdly tall and tailoring will require a lottery win.
Do you always wear shorts ?"
I'd prefer not to wear clothes at all, to be honest. Sadly it's largely unavoidable.
Currently there are precisely two UK sources for trousers that are *just* long enough for me and my 40" inside leg. Unfortunately, neither of them carry good-quality products, and one of them continuely has stock issues. In casual settings, I compensate by wearing too-short trousers with high-leg boots.
"Good questions.
Think about USP’s rather than common selling points "
Yeah, I've been trying. Unfortunately, all of the things I am confident I have in my favour are stuff that guys routinely and obsessively lie about, so mentioning them at all seems counterproductive.
I'm also honest about my shortcomings, but then I get told off for being self-deprecating. Can't win!
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"I think it's pretty good. Not too long, makes you sound interesting and you're tall, able to accommodate and have some great veris. If you were nearer I would!"
Thank you very much for your feedback. It's especially valuable coming from you – if I met your requirements I'd have messaged you already! I'm pleased to hear you think I'm on the right track. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"don't try so hard, because you'll still not please everyone
I'm endeavouring to try sufficiently hard to please the right people. Balancing act and all that. "
I think your attitude to it all is great.  |
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I think your profile is good, Astbury. S, although not quite as tall as you, still has huge issues with tailoring at 6ft 4, though its slightly easier with jeans (he just needs a belt because apparently all tall men are also min 34" waist!) I'd definitely be interested  |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I’m considering rewriting my profile this weekend. I’m presented with something of a conundrum, however.
What’s the best way to present yourself when a lot of your “selling points” are things that Men on The Internet™ constantly lie through their teeth about?
If there’s an easy answer to this, it has so far eluded me.
Other profile feedback or suggestions are welcome, of course.
- How is it in terms of length? Should it be shorter or longer?
- Is the level of specificity okay? Should there be more detail, or should it be a general overview?
- Is there a better way of photographing the male body? A suit is not an option for me.
"
it looks fine to me and your height appeals to me, no men are that tall down here |
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Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to look at my profile and respond. It’s very good of all of you, and I appreciate how kind you’ve all been.
I think, based on the feedback here, I’m going to hold off making any revisions for the time being. At least until I can maybe think of some unproblematic ways to talk myself up a bit!
"Shame you're far away, there's covid and all that."
Those feelings are entirely mutual, Mrs Berry!
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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago
Torridge Area of Devon |
By the time i have worked out what exactly what over 2m could look like and weigh more than 100kg. i would have given up..
However when i have scrolled down and see it is 6'7"...just got to do the conversion on the Kg now
Afraid not many 74 year olds (upper age limit) would know what the answer is either....lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel you on the clothes front my friend !!
I’m 6’10, 125kg!! So understand where you are coming from!!
On the profile front all is looking good!!!! I’m sure you will have loads of fun on here!
Plus for the onlookers....as the OP will confirm the profile options only go to 6’7 hence that’s why it says that on our profiles!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’ve got a great profile text - clever.
And I imagine from that you probably wouldn’t write a crap one liner to clutter up an inbox. I’d reply.
If you’re at a loose end then mess about with your camera and see what happens. Photos are always a treat.
And I’m with Mrs Berry - distance and covid aside... Mrs T x
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"By the time i have worked out what exactly what over 2m could look like and weigh more than 100kg. i would have given up..
However when i have scrolled down and see it is 6'7"...just got to do the conversion on the Kg now
Afraid not many 74 year olds (upper age limit) would know what the answer is either....lol."
Ooh, thank you for reminding me to update those details. Since I wrote them, I've lost weight and Helen Mirren has had a birthday!
"Plus for the onlookers....as the OP will confirm the profile options only go to 6’7 hence that’s why it says that on our profiles!"
Exactly this. Thankfully nobody's called me out on the "inconsistency" yet!
"You’ve got a great profile text - clever.
And I imagine from that you probably wouldn’t write a crap one liner to clutter up an inbox. I’d reply.
If you’re at a loose end then mess about with your camera and see what happens. Photos are always a treat.
And I’m with Mrs Berry - distance and covid aside... Mrs T x"
Thank you so much. You're absolutely correct – I have never sent a one-liner. I always try to make the few messages I compose personal, thoughtful and respectful. Whether I succeed is up to the recipient to decide.
Messing about with my camera has so far proved unsuccessful and dispiriting, but I will try again when I am in the right headspace.
As with Mrs Berry, those feelings are entirely mutual. If, after the plague, I ever make it as far as Le Boudoir, I will certainly let you know!
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This is for my personal preference not saying this will work for everyone because let's face it loads of people don't read profiles!
What I look for in a profile:
Honesty is the best policy
A little bit about the person
What they're looking for
What they're attracted to in a person
Why they're here
What they're into either sexually or not.
I prefer a long profile rather than a short one (if you read my profile and get to the bottom bonus)
And in a first message from someone anything but "hi how are you" is great. Preferably what attracted them to my profile and I like to get a hint of personality in the message.
As for pictures on a profile I don't mind dick pics. I also don't mind naked ones. I'm kind of over seeing guys in suits because unless you rock around in one every meet I'm not really interested. I don't really like those kind of people attempting to be artistic with their pics and failing awfully. But still that's not really going to stop me from meeting someone. |
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"This is for my personal preference not saying this will work for everyone because let's face it loads of people don't read profiles!
What I look for in a profile:
Honesty is the best policy
A little bit about the person
What they're looking for
What they're attracted to in a person
Why they're here
What they're into either sexually or not.
I prefer a long profile rather than a short one (if you read my profile and get to the bottom bonus)
And in a first message from someone anything but "hi how are you" is great. Preferably what attracted them to my profile and I like to get a hint of personality in the message.
As for pictures on a profile I don't mind dick pics. I also don't mind naked ones. I'm kind of over seeing guys in suits because unless you rock around in one every meet I'm not really interested. I don't really like those kind of people attempting to be artistic with their pics and failing awfully. But still that's not really going to stop me from meeting someone. "
Thanks for your input! That sounds like a useful checklist of things to consider. How do you feel that my profile measures up against it? Would you personally consider it too short and too brief? |
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I would say a little short for my liking however it kind of outlines most things I highlighted I suppose.
For me personally the first message is the deciding factor as to whether I reply to someone or not. I go to their profile after to kind of get a sense of who they are. But I'm very much into the psychological side of play.
Mine is probably too long but I guess I have high standards  |
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I think the best way to be is to be honest and upfront from the start, highlight what your looking for set out your preferences and include a few decent pics, you dont want too many, just enough to get people interested. Hope this helps? |
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Thank you all for taking the time to read my profile and leave some thoughts here. I really do appreciate it. It all helps!
"Write what YOU want to write, and show the pictures you want to show. That way you will attract the people who like what you're offering and the rest will use your profile as a filter."
I think I understand what you’re getting at here, but I don’t feel it would work for me.
If I wrote what I wanted to write, there’d be two problems:
- it would be so long that nobody would read it, and
- it would be indistinguishable from all the lies that men on here routinely tell about themselves.
Therefore I have to write something else, and I have to keep it on the shorter side. On Fab – as in meatspace – dick is abundant and of low value, and ain’t nobody got time for my essays.
As for pictures: If only posted the pictures I wanted to show, I wouldn’t post any pictures at all. I *hate* pictures of myself. I look terrible in all of them. But again, to get anywhere on here, I have to figure out what other people want, and do the best version of that I can manage.
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Since the discussion above, I've tweaked my profile text a wee bit. I'm not sure whether it's an improvement.
I've also taken a couple of new pictures, although I haven't posted them yet. Do people feel my profile would be enhanced by an image in which my penis is visible, or would it be better to leave it off? |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"Since the discussion above, I've tweaked my profile text a wee bit. I'm not sure whether it's an improvement.
I've also taken a couple of new pictures, although I haven't posted them yet. Do people feel my profile would be enhanced by an image in which my penis is visible, or would it be better to leave it off? "
I think your best option is to put the penis pics in your friends only photos. Some people like to see them, others definitely don’t. Those that want to see the penis can ask then.
Good luck OP x
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
"Since the discussion above, I've tweaked my profile text a wee bit. I'm not sure whether it's an improvement.
I've also taken a couple of new pictures, although I haven't posted them yet. Do people feel my profile would be enhanced by an image in which my penis is visible, or would it be better to leave it off? "
We like to see 1 penis picture (not as the main avatar), especially worth adding if claims of Bern well endowed / hung are made in the profile.
Just our opinion. You won't please everyone.
Good luck
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"Since the discussion above, I've tweaked my profile text a wee bit. I'm not sure whether it's an improvement.
I've also taken a couple of new pictures, although I haven't posted them yet. Do people feel my profile would be enhanced by an image in which my penis is visible, or would it be better to leave it off? "
I think a naked penis should be a private thing, but I quite like to see pants picture with a hard penis inside, so I get an idea of what might be there.
Overall I think your profile is fine. I didn’t read it before so not sure if it’s been revised much. It wouldn’t entice me in because physically you’re not my types, but I think it makes clear you’re a decent chap, which a lot don’t. So I’d say you’re winning there. |
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Thank you to everyone who took the time to have a look at my profile – I really appreciate your feedback. You've given me a good range of opinions to consider!
Thank you also for your good wishes – you're all very kind.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can only sell yourself if theres another person out there that is interested in purchasing you .  "
... I thought the same as you about pictures and not meaning to blow my own trumpet I was amazed at what photos I took . couldn't believe that was me and one are two admiring comments I received afterwards. Just fool around and take the time to see what works and what doesn't you'll probably surprise yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think your profile is good, Astbury. S, although not quite as tall as you, still has huge issues with tailoring at 6ft 4, though its slightly easier with jeans (he just needs a belt because apparently all tall men are also min 34" waist!) I'd definitely be interested "
A 34" waist is a average size for most so i cant see what you are getting at. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is a suit not an option for you ?
Because I'm absurdly tall and tailoring will require a lottery win.
"
I'll have to ask where my brother, nephew and even a couple of my clients get there suits from for you!! |
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Thank you to everyone who's been so kind as to engage with this. I'm very grateful!
I appreciate what people are getting at when they say "don't try so hard, because you'll still not please everyone", but I direct your attention to one of my earlier comments in the thread:
"I'm endeavouring to try sufficiently hard to please the right people. Balancing act and all that."
After all, I'm sure you've all seen how hard people insist that we get out of Fab we what put in. (I don't personally believe that, but it seems to be the accepted wisdom on here. There are certainly enough complaints about men not making an effort with their profiles.)
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"Thank you to everyone who's been so kind as to engage with this. I'm very grateful!
I appreciate what people are getting at when they say "don't try so hard, because you'll still not please everyone", but I direct your attention to one of my earlier comments in the thread:
I'm endeavouring to try sufficiently hard to please the right people. Balancing act and all that.
After all, I'm sure you've all seen how hard people insist that we get out of Fab we what put in. (I don't personally believe that, but it seems to be the accepted wisdom on here. There are certainly enough complaints about men not making an effort with their profiles.)
"
Very true!
I was told mine said too much by several people, but then others said it wasn't enough once I'd adapted it. 
For me it's about trying to appeal to the kind of others you'd like to attract, but have to say nothing really makes any difference. At the end of the day someone will look at a photo and fancy a person, or they won't. I don't believe much else matters as no woman is going to reply to a message unless they have that part, no matter how much effort is put in - and that's fair enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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your not selling yourself if you have to ask for advice ..selling yourself is the clue..
i think too many ask for advice rather than work it out for themselves too many guys profiles are samey due to advice...
only you know you.. |
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"your not selling yourself if you have to ask for advice ..selling yourself is the clue..
i think too many ask for advice rather than work it out for themselves too many guys profiles are samey due to advice...
only you know you.."
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""You can only sell yourself if theres another person out there that is interested in purchasing you . "
... I thought the same as you about pictures and not meaning to blow my own trumpet I was amazed at what photos I took . couldn't believe that was me and one are two admiring comments I received afterwards. Just fool around and take the time to see what works and what doesn't you'll probably surprise yourself"
Thank you for your input, but I've tried this already without success. Eleven years, tens of thousands of takes, and maybe half a dozen images at most that I've liked.
That said, I *am* still trying, so other suggestions are still welcome! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You can only sell yourself if theres another person out there that is interested in purchasing you . "
... I thought the same as you about pictures and not meaning to blow my own trumpet I was amazed at what photos I took . couldn't believe that was me and one are two admiring comments I received afterwards. Just fool around and take the time to see what works and what doesn't you'll probably surprise yourself
Thank you for your input, but I've tried this already without success. Eleven years, tens of thousands of takes, and maybe half a dozen images at most that I've liked.
That said, I *am* still trying, so other suggestions are still welcome! "
I love the fun taking my photos ... thank goodness for timers! Could you not get a friend to snap when you're not expecting a photo? They're usually my faves |
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""I think your profile is good, Astbury. S, although not quite as tall as you, still has huge issues with tailoring at 6ft 4, though its slightly easier with jeans (he just needs a belt because apparently all tall men are also min 34" waist!) I'd definitely be interested "
A 34" waist is a average size for most so i cant see what you are getting at."
What they are getting at is that most outsized men's clothing is manufactured with the assumption that tall men are also heavily built. It's trivially easy to buy 32"-leg trousers with a 40" or 50" inch waist. Need 32"-waist trousers with a 40" leg, though? You're in trouble. Source: Being unable to buy clothes on the high street for over twenty-five years. Apparently tall, slim men don't exist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""I think your profile is good, Astbury. S, although not quite as tall as you, still has huge issues with tailoring at 6ft 4, though its slightly easier with jeans (he just needs a belt because apparently all tall men are also min 34" waist!) I'd definitely be interested "
A 34" waist is a average size for most so i cant see what you are getting at.
What they are getting at is that most outsized men's clothing is manufactured with the assumption that tall men are also heavily built. It's trivially easy to buy 32"-leg trousers with a 40" or 50" inch waist. Need 32"-waist trousers with a 40" leg, though? You're in trouble. Source: Being unable to buy clothes on the high street for over twenty-five years. Apparently tall, slim men don't exist. "
As said further up ^^ I'll ask family and clients where they all get theirs as there must be somewhere, because they all have nice clothes! |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Back in Gatwick! |
You’re confident, and it shows...
You have the body type I like too  haha x
Good profile... though I’d leave the spit bit out. Don’t know if it’s just me, but I’ve never spat at/on amyone, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile is okay, for me there is nothing that “wows” me, but that’s just me & I’m only one insignificant person.
Also, any reference to VWE puts me off almost instantly, however it’s better than many of the profiles on here that have zero effort! |
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"""I think your profile is good, Astbury. S, although not quite as tall as you, still has huge issues with tailoring at 6ft 4, though its slightly easier with jeans (he just needs a belt because apparently all tall men are also min 34" waist!) I'd definitely be interested "
A 34" waist is a average size for most so i cant see what you are getting at.
What they are getting at is that most outsized men's clothing is manufactured with the assumption that tall men are also heavily built. It's trivially easy to buy 32"-leg trousers with a 40" or 50" inch waist. Need 32"-waist trousers with a 40" leg, though? You're in trouble. Source: Being unable to buy clothes on the high street for over twenty-five years. Apparently tall, slim men don't exist. "
As said further up ^^ I'll ask family and clients where they all get theirs as there must be somewhere, because they all have nice clothes!"
Yes, please do. It'll be good to know if there are any options I haven't already explored. Just how tall are they, if you don't mind me asking? It matters, because there is a *lot* more difference than people imagine between 6' 2" "tall" and 6' 8" tall.
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"Your profile is okay, for me there is nothing that “wows” me, but that’s just me & I’m only one insignificant person.
Also, any reference to VWE puts me off almost instantly, however it’s better than many of the profiles on here that have zero effort!"
I don't believe for a second that you're "insignificant"!
Thank you for taking the time to have look, and for sharing your assessment.
I think I'll drop the VWE bit. It's true, but it's also something that has so much deceit and toxicity around it on here that you're probably right to be put off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"""I think your profile is good, Astbury. S, although not quite as tall as you, still has huge issues with tailoring at 6ft 4, though its slightly easier with jeans (he just needs a belt because apparently all tall men are also min 34" waist!) I'd definitely be interested "
A 34" waist is a average size for most so i cant see what you are getting at.
What they are getting at is that most outsized men's clothing is manufactured with the assumption that tall men are also heavily built. It's trivially easy to buy 32"-leg trousers with a 40" or 50" inch waist. Need 32"-waist trousers with a 40" leg, though? You're in trouble. Source: Being unable to buy clothes on the high street for over twenty-five years. Apparently tall, slim men don't exist. "
As said further up ^^ I'll ask family and clients where they all get theirs as there must be somewhere, because they all have nice clothes!
Yes, please do. It'll be good to know if there are any options I haven't already explored. Just how tall are they, if you don't mind me asking? It matters, because there is a *lot* more difference than people imagine between 6' 2" "tall" and 6' 8" tall.
"
My brother's a mere 6ft6 but has incredibly long legs, my nephew is 6ft9, one client is 6ft8 and the other is way taller (both been/are professional basketball players) tbh even my sister is a tiny 6ft2 hahahahahahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"""I think your profile is good, Astbury. S, although not quite as tall as you, still has huge issues with tailoring at 6ft 4, though its slightly easier with jeans (he just needs a belt because apparently all tall men are also min 34" waist!) I'd definitely be interested "
A 34" waist is a average size for most so i cant see what you are getting at.
What they are getting at is that most outsized men's clothing is manufactured with the assumption that tall men are also heavily built. It's trivially easy to buy 32"-leg trousers with a 40" or 50" inch waist. Need 32"-waist trousers with a 40" leg, though? You're in trouble. Source: Being unable to buy clothes on the high street for over twenty-five years. Apparently tall, slim men don't exist. "
As said further up ^^ I'll ask family and clients where they all get theirs as there must be somewhere, because they all have nice clothes!
Yes, please do. It'll be good to know if there are any options I haven't already explored. Just how tall are they, if you don't mind me asking? It matters, because there is a *lot* more difference than people imagine between 6' 2" "tall" and 6' 8" tall.
My brother's a mere 6ft6 but has incredibly long legs, my nephew is 6ft9, one client is 6ft8 and the other is way taller (both been/are professional basketball players) tbh even my sister is a tiny 6ft2 hahahahahahahaha "
Oh and all slim/fit ... though know quite a few tall rugby players but obviously they're a different build so just thought of those in your case ... |
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"You’re confident, and it shows...
You have the body type I like too haha x
Good profile... though I’d leave the spit bit out. Don’t know if it’s just me, but I’ve never spat at/on amyone, lol."
Thank you very much, Aviatrix! I'm flattered.
Does it come across as *good* confidence, or obnoxious confidence?
I'm not fond of the spit part either, to be honest. However, there are surprising number of people out there who think spitting all over one's penis is... erotic? A substitute for lubricant? I'm not sure. Either way, they've often been offended when I've asked them not to do it, so I thought mentioning it up front might head off any potential awkwardness. |
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"""I think your profile is good, Astbury. S, although not quite as tall as you, still has huge issues with tailoring at 6ft 4, though its slightly easier with jeans (he just needs a belt because apparently all tall men are also min 34" waist!) I'd definitely be interested "
A 34" waist is a average size for most so i cant see what you are getting at.
What they are getting at is that most outsized men's clothing is manufactured with the assumption that tall men are also heavily built. It's trivially easy to buy 32"-leg trousers with a 40" or 50" inch waist. Need 32"-waist trousers with a 40" leg, though? You're in trouble. Source: Being unable to buy clothes on the high street for over twenty-five years. Apparently tall, slim men don't exist. "
As said further up ^^ I'll ask family and clients where they all get theirs as there must be somewhere, because they all have nice clothes!
Yes, please do. It'll be good to know if there are any options I haven't already explored. Just how tall are they, if you don't mind me asking? It matters, because there is a *lot* more difference than people imagine between 6' 2" "tall" and 6' 8" tall.
My brother's a mere 6ft6 but has incredibly long legs, my nephew is 6ft9, one client is 6ft8 and the other is way taller (both been/are professional basketball players) tbh even my sister is a tiny 6ft2 hahahahahahahaha
Oh and all slim/fit ... though know quite a few tall rugby players but obviously they're a different build so just thought of those in your case ..."
Well, if they're all that tall, I'm very interested in their opinions! Forgive me for asking, but I so often get well-meaning but useless advice from people who consider "tall" to be around the height I was at twelve years old. Heh.
I haven't played basketball in years. I was never very good at it, and kept getting injured! |
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It's now been over a year since I posted this thread, and nearly six months since I last checked in on it.
I've made a few tweaks to my profile since then, but they're only really minor adjustments.
I'm still very open to feedback, though; you can't improve something if don't know what's wrong with it. Suggestions, questions, comments and requests are all welcome! |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"It's now been over a year since I posted this thread, and nearly six months since I last checked in on it.
I've made a few tweaks to my profile since then, but they're only really minor adjustments.
I'm still very open to feedback, though; you can't improve something if don't know what's wrong with it. Suggestions, questions, comments and requests are all welcome! "
I don’t get the dont spit on me bit. You expect someone to give you a bj with lubricant on your dick? Or have I got that wrong? |
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"It's now been over a year since I posted this thread, and nearly six months since I last checked in on it.
I've made a few tweaks to my profile since then, but they're only really minor adjustments.
I'm still very open to feedback, though; you can't improve something if don't know what's wrong with it. Suggestions, questions, comments and requests are all welcome!
I don’t get the dont spit on me bit. You expect someone to give you a bj with lubricant on your dick? Or have I got that wrong? "
Yes, you've got that wrong, but never mind. |
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
"It's now been over a year since I posted this thread, and nearly six months since I last checked in on it.
I've made a few tweaks to my profile since then, but they're only really minor adjustments.
I'm still very open to feedback, though; you can't improve something if don't know what's wrong with it. Suggestions, questions, comments and requests are all welcome!
I don’t get the dont spit on me bit. You expect someone to give you a bj with lubricant on your dick? Or have I got that wrong?
Yes, you've got that wrong, but never mind. "
So what does it mean?
I can't imagine a woman wanting to suck you off with a cock covered in line as the previous reply stated, other than that I'm trying to work out what you mean.
So as it stands its a fairly off putting comment (at least to us) as it suggests an uptightness around natural body fluids.
Hopefully you can clarity OP.
KJ |
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"It's now been over a year since I posted this thread, and nearly six months since I last checked in on it.
I've made a few tweaks to my profile since then, but they're only really minor adjustments.
I'm still very open to feedback, though; you can't improve something if don't know what's wrong with it. Suggestions, questions, comments and requests are all welcome!
I don’t get the dont spit on me bit. You expect someone to give you a bj with lubricant on your dick? Or have I got that wrong?
Yes, you've got that wrong, but never mind.
So what does it mean?
I can't imagine a woman wanting to suck you off with a cock covered in line as the previous reply stated, other than that I'm trying to work out what you mean.
So as it stands its a fairly off putting comment (at least to us) as it suggests an uptightness around natural body fluids.
Hopefully you can clarity OP.
KJ "
Some people think that saliva is a substitute for lubricant. It clearly is not.
Some people find hawking up a massive mouthful of spit and gobbing it all over their partner erotic. I, personally, do not.
I am genuinely baffled by where this whole "suck you off with a cock covered in lube" idea has come from. It's so out of left-field that it feels like trolling, to the point where I nearly didn't engage with this post.
I also only engage in protected sex. Does that also suggest an "uptightness" around "natural bodily fluids"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your comeback posts, gave an air of bitterness, whilst people are only making suggestions.
If one is under-whelmed by fab at the moment, you could always take a break.
Mine is only a suggestion, no need for sarcasm in return, thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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....and saliva is an alternative to a lubricant! Unless you can't produce it because of a dry mouth, either brought on by nervousness, fear or not wanting that particular cock in your mouth.
Unless you can tell me different OP, maybe from your experiences? |
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
"It's now been over a year since I posted this thread, and nearly six months since I last checked in on it.
I've made a few tweaks to my profile since then, but they're only really minor adjustments.
I'm still very open to feedback, though; you can't improve something if don't know what's wrong with it. Suggestions, questions, comments and requests are all welcome!
I don’t get the dont spit on me bit. You expect someone to give you a bj with lubricant on your dick? Or have I got that wrong?
Yes, you've got that wrong, but never mind.
So what does it mean?
I can't imagine a woman wanting to suck you off with a cock covered in line as the previous reply stated, other than that I'm trying to work out what you mean.
So as it stands its a fairly off putting comment (at least to us) as it suggests an uptightness around natural body fluids.
Hopefully you can clarity OP.
KJ
Some people think that saliva is a substitute for lubricant. It clearly is not.
Some people find hawking up a massive mouthful of spit and gobbing it all over their partner erotic. I, personally, do not.
I am genuinely baffled by where this whole "suck you off with a cock covered in lube" idea has come from. It's so out of left-field that it feels like trolling, to the point where I nearly didn't engage with this post.
I also only engage in protected sex. Does that also suggest an "uptightness" around "natural bodily fluids"? "
If 3 different people have asked about it then that suggests its not "so out of left-field that it feels like trolling".
Saliva can most definitely be used as a lubricant in a range of sexual situations.
When you ask for feedback on a thread its best to respond to people (especially if you don't agree with them) with grace, as opposed to been sarcastic, dismissive and rude.
KJ
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"Your comeback posts, gave an air of bitterness, whilst people are only making suggestions.
If one is under-whelmed by fab at the moment, you could always take a break.
Mine is only a suggestion, no need for sarcasm in return, thank you."
I'm sorry that my responses "gave an air of bitterness". That's certainly not my intention. I certainly haven't consciously been sarcastic either, so I apologise for that too.
For what it's worth, I've been underwhelmed by Fab since I joined, but I'm yet to find a better alternative! |
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"....and saliva is an alternative to a lubricant! Unless you can't produce it because of a dry mouth, either brought on by nervousness, fear or not wanting that particular cock in your mouth.
Unless you can tell me different OP, maybe from your experiences?"
In my experience, and I have more of it than you'd think, saliva makes a *terrible* lubricant. No matter how much it you use. That's why off-the-shelf lubricants exist. That's why the spit-on-it-and-shove-it-in trope that plagues pornography is so harmful.
Or are you talking solely about oral sex? Because I think people might be getting stuck on oral sex here.
|
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"It's now been over a year since I posted this thread, and nearly six months since I last checked in on it.
I've made a few tweaks to my profile since then, but they're only really minor adjustments.
I'm still very open to feedback, though; you can't improve something if don't know what's wrong with it. Suggestions, questions, comments and requests are all welcome!
I don’t get the dont spit on me bit. You expect someone to give you a bj with lubricant on your dick? Or have I got that wrong?
Yes, you've got that wrong, but never mind.
So what does it mean?
I can't imagine a woman wanting to suck you off with a cock covered in line as the previous reply stated, other than that I'm trying to work out what you mean.
So as it stands its a fairly off putting comment (at least to us) as it suggests an uptightness around natural body fluids.
Hopefully you can clarity OP.
KJ
Some people think that saliva is a substitute for lubricant. It clearly is not.
Some people find hawking up a massive mouthful of spit and gobbing it all over their partner erotic. I, personally, do not.
I am genuinely baffled by where this whole "suck you off with a cock covered in lube" idea has come from. It's so out of left-field that it feels like trolling, to the point where I nearly didn't engage with this post.
I also only engage in protected sex. Does that also suggest an "uptightness" around "natural bodily fluids"?
If 3 different people have asked about it then that suggests its not "so out of left-field that it feels like trolling".
Saliva can most definitely be used as a lubricant in a range of sexual situations.
When you ask for feedback on a thread its best to respond to people (especially if you don't agree with them) with grace, as opposed to been sarcastic, dismissive and rude.
KJ
"
This thread existed for a year before anyone brought up the baffling "suck you off with a cock covered in lube" idea, which I have literally never encountered anywhere else in all the years I've been a) on the internet and b) sexually active. Two more people then immediately jumped on that, ignoring the rest of the thread, which looks a lot like classic bullying behaviour. "Someone said something someone with more social capital thinks is odd! Get them!"
In my experience, and I have more of it than you'd think, saliva makes a *terrible* lubricant. No matter how much it you use. That's why off-the-shelf lubricants exist. That's why the spit-on-it-and-shove-it-in trope that plagues pornography is so harmful.
I was under the impression that I *was* responding with grace. I'm certainly not trying to be "sarcastic, dismissive and rude", and I'm sorry for having come across that way. It's not at all my intention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"....and saliva is an alternative to a lubricant! Unless you can't produce it because of a dry mouth, either brought on by nervousness, fear or not wanting that particular cock in your mouth.
Unless you can tell me different OP, maybe from your experiences?
In my experience, and I have more of it than you'd think, saliva makes a *terrible* lubricant. No matter how much it you use. That's why off-the-shelf lubricants exist. That's why the spit-on-it-and-shove-it-in trope that plagues pornography is so harmful.
Or are you talking solely about oral sex? Because I think people might be getting stuck on oral sex here.
"
I think spitting came first before lubricants in sex and also before porn - why is that harmful?
Lots can't use lubricants off the shelf btw, adverse effects from them inside a woman - mouth or vagina. You obviously don't know that, or consider it could happen.
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"....and saliva is an alternative to a lubricant! Unless you can't produce it because of a dry mouth, either brought on by nervousness, fear or not wanting that particular cock in your mouth.
Unless you can tell me different OP, maybe from your experiences?
In my experience, and I have more of it than you'd think, saliva makes a *terrible* lubricant. No matter how much it you use. That's why off-the-shelf lubricants exist. That's why the spit-on-it-and-shove-it-in trope that plagues pornography is so harmful.
Or are you talking solely about oral sex? Because I think people might be getting stuck on oral sex here.
I think spitting came first before lubricants in sex and also before porn - why is that harmful?
Lots can't use lubricants off the shelf btw, adverse effects from them inside a woman - mouth or vagina. You obviously don't know that, or consider it could happen.
"
Humans used to do lots of harmful things before better alternatives were available. We still do. Since you obviously don't know why it's harmful, or have considered that it might be, see an introductory article like 'Is It Safe to Use Saliva as a Lubricant During Sex? We Asked an Ob-Gyn' on the website Health dot com.
A lot of people make the understandable mistake of thinking that saliva and natural vaginal lubrication are the same stuff, and they really, really aren't.
Yes, I know that some people can't use some lubricants. Fortunately, there is a wide range available, I've yet to find a partner who can't use any of them at all. And *all* of the ones I've used – and I've tested out *a lot*, always on myself before using them with a partner – are better than spit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well there you go lots of people can't use them....
As long as we produce spit, it'll always be used....
Way to go humans!
....and you wanted to stay away from the subject lol
Oh well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You'll never please everyone. I think your profile looks great as it is. Your veris support that you're a decent bloke too.
Good luck. "
This
You could maybe elaborate a bit more on your likes when playing, any fantasies you may have, and add what clubs you have been to.
Other than that, you seem to be doing well.  |
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"I’m considering rewriting my profile this weekend. I’m presented with something of a conundrum, however.
What’s the best way to present yourself when a lot of your “selling points” are things that Men on The Internet™ constantly lie through their teeth about?
If there’s an easy answer to this, it has so far eluded me.
Other profile feedback or suggestions are welcome, of course.
- How is it in terms of length? Should it be shorter or longer?
- Is the level of specificity okay? Should there be more detail, or should it be a general overview?
- Is there a better way of photographing the male body? A suit is not an option for me.
"
Hi mate. I'm responding to your opening post to bring your thread back on topic
Can I ask why you're bothered about getting results in Fab? You do really well in the club scene, just go with what works for you, and just use Fab for messaging people you know from the clubs. I've basically done the same, but in reverse, ie; I can't face another club as a solo guy, so I'm just sticking with Fab. Play to your strengths! All the best mate |
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"You'll never please everyone. I think your profile looks great as it is. Your veris support that you're a decent bloke too.
Good luck.
This
You could maybe elaborate a bit more on your likes when playing, any fantasies you may have, and add what clubs you have been to.
Other than that, you seem to be doing well. "
Thank you very much for your positive feedback! You're very kind.
I did think about going into more detail, but there's always a trade-off to be made when it comes to succinctness. It would be super-easy for me to write a profile the length of War and Peace, but nobody would read it! I felt that it was probably worth erring on the side of brevity in this instance.
Good call about the clubs, though. I'll have a think about putting that in. |
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"It’s true, you can’t please everyone but some flattering photos and a cheery yet honest bio would please many "
Thank you for your feedback!
Would you say my current bio is sufficiently "cheery yet honest"? One of the things I've learned from this thread is that I seem to come across as colder and harsher than intended!
I do semi-regularly try to take some more flattering pictures, but cameras seem to just not like me. I follow all the usual advice about timers and remotes and tripods and everything. |
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"I’m considering rewriting my profile this weekend. I’m presented with something of a conundrum, however.
What’s the best way to present yourself when a lot of your “selling points” are things that Men on The Internet™ constantly lie through their teeth about?
If there’s an easy answer to this, it has so far eluded me.
Other profile feedback or suggestions are welcome, of course.
- How is it in terms of length? Should it be shorter or longer?
- Is the level of specificity okay? Should there be more detail, or should it be a general overview?
- Is there a better way of photographing the male body? A suit is not an option for me.
Hi mate. I'm responding to your opening post to bring your thread back on topic
Can I ask why you're bothered about getting results in Fab? You do really well in the club scene, just go with what works for you, and just use Fab for messaging people you know from the clubs. I've basically done the same, but in reverse, ie; I can't face another club as a solo guy, so I'm just sticking with Fab. Play to your strengths! All the best mate "
Thank you very much for being kind enough to engage directly with the topic itself. I do appreciate it!
I wish to do well on Fab because I like sex and want to have more of it. I haven’t been to a club since before the pandemic, and I don’t know when I’ll be going back.
I do my best to play to whatever strengths I have, but either a) I’m bad at putting them across on here, b) they’re things that just aren’t in demand, or c) both.
Thank you once again for you good wishes. You’re very kind!
|
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"I’m considering rewriting my profile this weekend. I’m presented with something of a conundrum, however.
What’s the best way to present yourself when a lot of your “selling points” are things that Men on The Internet™ constantly lie through their teeth about?
If there’s an easy answer to this, it has so far eluded me.
Other profile feedback or suggestions are welcome, of course.
- How is it in terms of length? Should it be shorter or longer?
- Is the level of specificity okay? Should there be more detail, or should it be a general overview?
- Is there a better way of photographing the male body? A suit is not an option for me.
Hi mate. I'm responding to your opening post to bring your thread back on topic
Can I ask why you're bothered about getting results in Fab? You do really well in the club scene, just go with what works for you, and just use Fab for messaging people you know from the clubs. I've basically done the same, but in reverse, ie; I can't face another club as a solo guy, so I'm just sticking with Fab. Play to your strengths! All the best mate
Thank you very much for being kind enough to engage directly with the topic itself. I do appreciate it!
I wish to do well on Fab because I like sex and want to have more of it. I haven’t been to a club since before the pandemic, and I don’t know when I’ll be going back.
I do my best to play to whatever strengths I have, but either a) I’m bad at putting them across on here, b) they’re things that just aren’t in demand, or c) both.
Thank you once again for you good wishes. You’re very kind!
"
No worries at mate! I’m not the arse most have me pegged for  |
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