FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single men and clubs
Single men and clubs
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"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? " Its all about being social and not a weird stalker or a wanking zombie. Go there to chat and have a laugh with people, and not with the sole intention of blowing your spuds and you will have a great time. Couples and single ladies will treat you with the same politeness and respect that you show to them. If they chat and then move away be happy to accept you aren't what they are looking for, and don't take it personally. | |||
"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? Its all about being social and not a weird stalker or a wanking zombie. Go there to chat and have a laugh with people, and not with the sole intention of blowing your spuds and you will have a great time. Couples and single ladies will treat you with the same politeness and respect that you show to them. If they chat and then move away be happy to accept you aren't what they are looking for, and don't take it personally."  | |||
"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? " We wouldn't go to clubs if there were no single guys. As long as you're clean, polite, non pushy and not offended by a "no thanks" you'll be fine. I enjoy playing with one or a few guys and much prefer playing in clubs to anywhere else - it's safer and totally anonymous. | |||
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"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? " Just dont be weird I guess. I have never had a huge amount of trouble myself except for one guy that was following me around everywhere. Was like my shadow. Aslong as you are polite and stuff I'm sure you will be fine. Not that any clubs are really open | |||
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"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? We wouldn't go to clubs if there were no single guys. As long as you're clean, polite, non pushy and not offended by a "no thanks" you'll be fine. I enjoy playing with one or a few guys and much prefer playing in clubs to anywhere else - it's safer and totally anonymous." | |||
"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? " As much as I tried, twice, that's exactly how I felt, it was real life Fab, if you see what I mean! | |||
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"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? " We've met lots of single guts at clubs, many of them on their first visit and never had a problem. Ask me about couples and people who've had too much to drink..... 
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"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? We've met lots of single guys at clubs, many of them on their first visit and never had a problem. Ask me about couples and people who've had too much to drink.....
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"How do I get involved " Involved in what? E | |||
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"Club meets?" When the clubs are open again find one near you. Read their website and reviews. If you have questions, ask them. When you're happy your questions have been answered and you're happy with what the club offers, ask to join. That's about it. E | |||
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"Clubs for a while have been my main place to meet. I had amazing times and mainly use the site to stay in touch with people I met in clubs or planning to meet in the future. If you have the right attitude, is sociable, polite respectful and have no expectations, trust me will be rewarded big time. " You do appear to do very well in the club scene. Is this because you have stuck to visiting just one or two clubs, to get yourself known, or do you choose specific events to attend? Or are you a club host? | |||
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"It depends. If you are socially awkward and tend to hang about looking like a spare part in other social situations then going to a club is probably not for you. If on the other hand you like to chat and party and you go with the intention of enjoying yourself socially even though you may not get to play, you will probably have an awesome time and see some amazing sights "I am socially awkward and am usually a spare part in most situations. However, pre-pandemic I still regularly went to clubs, socialised to the best of my limited abilities, made friends with people, and – yes – even managed to arrange play. Personally speaking, I find things much easier in person than on Fab. It's weird, because writing is easier than speaking for me. However, simply by turning up at a club you're leapfrogging ninety-plus percent of the male competition on here, and numbers matter. | |||
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But that's always the icing on the cake.
**Merry Christmas everyone.** | |||
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"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? We wouldn't go to clubs if there were no single guys. As long as you're clean, polite, non pushy and not offended by a "no thanks" you'll be fine. I enjoy playing with one or a few guys and much prefer playing in clubs to anywhere else - it's safer and totally anonymous." this.
I'd be very disappointed if I went to a club a couldn't enjoy several single guys. Is long as they're polite, respectful and ideally in my age range. Xx | |||
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"It depends. If you are socially awkward and tend to hang about looking like a spare part in other social situations then going to a club is probably not for you. If on the other hand you like to chat and party and you go with the intention of enjoying yourself socially even though you may not get to play, you will probably have an awesome time and see some amazing sights
I am socially awkward and am usually a spare part in most situations.
However, pre-pandemic I still regularly went to clubs, socialised to the best of my limited abilities, made friends with people, and – yes – even managed to arrange play.
Personally speaking, I find things much easier in person than on Fab. It's weird, because writing is easier than speaking for me. However, simply by turning up at a club you're leapfrogging ninety-plus percent of the male competition on here, and numbers matter. "On my last club visit, I was one of only 4 single guys in, on what was a busy party night. It was quite obvious early on, that people had their prearranged groups going on, but I did manage to get chatting with one couple at the bar. The wife was quite happy to chat with me, but her hubby stood with his back to me the whole time, his arm very firmly on the bar forming a barrier between us, and he wouldn’t look me in the eye when he spoke. His body language was clear, so I moved away. After that, I did just feel like I was intruding, so after a bit of a wander around, I simply left, as I would hate to be thought of as one of those guys who just hangs around the play areas....... I’m chatting with people from all over right now, solo females and couples, and if it weren’t for the restrictions, my little black book would be a busy place I’ve always enjoyed more success using Fab for sexy fun, than going to the effort and expense of the clubs, but I do feel I’ve just been unlucky with the times I went. I do plan to visit clubs again, however, I will definitely be more selective about when | |||
 ) trans woman is anything but an easy path to finding someone that desires you and that you desire).
But i have reached a point of having confidence in my body image, of having some real friends within the swinging scene, and of being content with just having a nice evening where I'm very likely to find interesting people to chat and laugh with. And once in a while something more may happen, but i think of that as a lovely bonus when it does, certainly not as an expectation. | |||
"It depends. If you are socially awkward and tend to hang about looking like a spare part in other social situations then going to a club is probably not for you. If on the other hand you like to chat and party and you go with the intention of enjoying yourself socially even though you may not get to play, you will probably have an awesome time and see some amazing sights
I am socially awkward and am usually a spare part in most situations.
However, pre-pandemic I still regularly went to clubs, socialised to the best of my limited abilities, made friends with people, and – yes – even managed to arrange play.
Personally speaking, I find things much easier in person than on Fab. It's weird, because writing is easier than speaking for me. However, simply by turning up at a club you're leapfrogging ninety-plus percent of the male competition on here, and numbers matter.
On my last club visit, I was one of only 4 single guys in, on what was a busy party night. It was quite obvious early on, that people had their prearranged groups going on, but I did manage to get chatting with one couple at the bar. The wife was quite happy to chat with me, but her hubby stood with his back to me the whole time, his arm very firmly on the bar forming a barrier between us, and he wouldn’t look me in the eye when he spoke. His body language was clear, so I moved away. After that, I did just feel like I was intruding, so after a bit of a wander around, I simply left, as I would hate to be thought of as one of those guys who just hangs around the play areas.......
I’m chatting with people from all over right now, solo females and couples, and if it weren’t for the restrictions, my little black book would be a busy place I’ve always enjoyed more success using Fab for sexy fun, than going to the effort and expense of the clubs, but I do feel I’ve just been unlucky with the times I went. I do plan to visit clubs again, however, I will definitely be more selective about when "I find this all really interesting – our experiences are almost diametrically opposed. I’ve never been to a club with so few single males, and nobody has ever been that rude to me. Yes, of course people have their prearranged groups; I’ve been part of them from time to time. To avoid being “one of those guys who just hangs around the play areas”, I just… don’t hang around in the play areas. Pass through, sure. See who’s doing what, sure. Lurk, though? Oh no. Masturbate? Never. (Except when me doing so has been part of a pre-arranged scene.) Conversely, I’m not chatting with anyone on here. Haven’t had a message in weeks. I’ve got plenty of things lined up post-pandemic, but it’s almost exclusively with people I met in person! (This all leads me to question what the hell I’m doing wrong on Fab. I thought my error was being a single male, but apparently not!) | |||
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"It depends. If you are socially awkward and tend to hang about looking like a spare part in other social situations then going to a club is probably not for you. If on the other hand you like to chat and party and you go with the intention of enjoying yourself socially even though you may not get to play, you will probably have an awesome time and see some amazing sights
I am socially awkward and am usually a spare part in most situations.
However, pre-pandemic I still regularly went to clubs, socialised to the best of my limited abilities, made friends with people, and – yes – even managed to arrange play.
Personally speaking, I find things much easier in person than on Fab. It's weird, because writing is easier than speaking for me. However, simply by turning up at a club you're leapfrogging ninety-plus percent of the male competition on here, and numbers matter.
On my last club visit, I was one of only 4 single guys in, on what was a busy party night. It was quite obvious early on, that people had their prearranged groups going on, but I did manage to get chatting with one couple at the bar. The wife was quite happy to chat with me, but her hubby stood with his back to me the whole time, his arm very firmly on the bar forming a barrier between us, and he wouldn’t look me in the eye when he spoke. His body language was clear, so I moved away. After that, I did just feel like I was intruding, so after a bit of a wander around, I simply left, as I would hate to be thought of as one of those guys who just hangs around the play areas.......
I’m chatting with people from all over right now, solo females and couples, and if it weren’t for the restrictions, my little black book would be a busy place I’ve always enjoyed more success using Fab for sexy fun, than going to the effort and expense of the clubs, but I do feel I’ve just been unlucky with the times I went. I do plan to visit clubs again, however, I will definitely be more selective about when
I find this all really interesting – our experiences are almost diametrically opposed.
I’ve never been to a club with so few single males, and nobody has ever been that rude to me.
Yes, of course people have their prearranged groups; I’ve been part of them from time to time.
To avoid being “one of those guys who just hangs around the play areas”, I just… don’t hang around in the play areas. Pass through, sure. See who’s doing what, sure. Lurk, though? Oh no. Masturbate? Never. (Except when me doing so has been part of a pre-arranged scene.)
Conversely, I’m not chatting with anyone on here. Haven’t had a message in weeks. I’ve got plenty of things lined up post-pandemic, but it’s almost exclusively with people I met in person!
(This all leads me to question what the hell I’m doing wrong on Fab. I thought my error was being a single male, but apparently not!)
"No, I’ve never been one of those guys wandering around with my cock out, wanking it in any direction  When I wandered around the play areas on my last visit, there was a lucky guy playing with two women, who I sat and watched. I was the only other person in the room, and they didn’t even know I was there, until they finished! I thanked them for the show though  Next I went down to the dungeon area, and enjoyed watching a wife blindfolded and tied to a wooden pole, while her hubby flogged and teased her, until she gushed all over the floor, which was also interesting! But again, I watched respectfully I left after that though.
I don’t know why your profile doesn’t get more attention in here, particularly as there’s not much option other than using Fab right now. Perhaps a couple of fresh pics and engage in the forums a bit more? | |||
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"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? We wouldn't go to clubs if there were no single guys. As long as you're clean, polite, non pushy and not offended by a "no thanks" you'll be fine. I enjoy playing with one or a few guys and much prefer playing in clubs to anywhere else - it's safer and totally anonymous." what a arrogant thing to say, as long as us single guys are clean, polite, non pushy!!. Of course we are clean and polite & non pushy!. Stop treating us single guys as we’re stupid. | |||
"I’ve often felt like I was ‘intruding’ when visiting a club on my own. For all the people in the forum telling you how great the club scene is, how welcome solo guys are, my experiences overall, would show otherwise. I’ve had a couple of fantastic nights, don’t get me wrong, but I would never recommend the club scene to a mate "yeah the club scene for single guys is shite, because of arrogant couples | |||
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"Clubs for a while have been my main place to meet. I had amazing times and mainly use the site to stay in touch with people I met in clubs or planning to meet in the future. If you have the right attitude, is sociable, polite respectful and have no expectations, trust me will be rewarded big time. You do appear to do very well in the club scene. Is this because you have stuck to visiting just one or two clubs, to get yourself known, or do you choose specific events to attend? Or are you a club host? I used to visit club all over the country. Once I found the ones I do feel are the right ones for me I mainly visit those. " | |||
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"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? We wouldn't go to clubs if there were no single guys. As long as you're clean, polite, non pushy and not offended by a "no thanks" you'll be fine. I enjoy playing with one or a few guys and much prefer playing in clubs to anywhere else - it's safer and totally anonymous. what a arrogant thing to say, as long as us single guys are clean, polite, non pushy!!. Of course we are clean and polite & non pushy!. Stop treating us single guys as we’re stupid." As a single guy you probably have never been approached by any single guy, let alone pushy single guys who are neither clean nor polite. As a woman I have. I've been pestered, followed around and grabbed inappropriately. Most are not like I that, but some are, and I don't consider myself arrogant because I don't want to fuck them. | |||
"In the scene there is many alpha males who try to block any single men from approaching ladies or that couples are only looking for males to be anonymous “stunt cocks” rather than making connections outside of the fantasy world of swinging clubs." If we play with someone we like, we're fine with keeping in touch and planning future meets, and not just in clubs.. | |||
"I don’t know why your profile doesn’t get more attention in here, particularly as there’s not much option other than using Fab right now. Perhaps a couple of fresh pics and engage in the forums a bit more?" I already engage in the forums as much as I can. I confess it does rather feel like a wasted effort though, as none of the regulars in here are even close to local to me. I posted a new picture only two weeks ago! Any more will have to wait until I don't viscerally hate the way I look, have the opportunity, and can manage a tidy backdrop *all on the same day*. Easier said than done. "what a arrogant thing to say, as long as us single guys are clean, polite, non pushy!!. Of course we are clean and polite & non pushy!. Stop treating us single guys as we’re stupid." Maybe, just maybe, if guys stopped *being* stupid, they wouldn't get treated that way? Not wanting to deal with dirty, rude and pushy people is hardly "arrogance". "ladies or that couples are only looking for males to be anonymous “stunt cocks”" If there are any ladies or couples genuinely looking for this, hey, I'm right here! | |||
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""ladies or that couples are only looking for males to be anonymous “stunt cocks”" If there are any ladies or couples genuinely looking for this, hey, I'm right here! " Sounds good! Is Leeds in range of you? You'll have to message me though, as we can't message you.. | |||
"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? " As someone who has been to clubs over the years, my advise is, that unless you are meeting someone there dont go to them. You will be e expected to pay about 80 to 100 quid admission fee with little to zero chance of anything happening. More likely you will be made to feel like a total pariah by the couples and few single ladies there. Save your money. Unsurprisingly use single men as a cash cow so they can discount or let in free couples and single women. | |||
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"You will be e expected to pay about 80 to 100 quid admission fee with little to zero chance of anything happening." I've never paid more than £35. And do you know what lowers the chances of "anything happening" even further? *Not* going. | |||
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"You will be e expected to pay about 80 to 100 quid admission fee with little to zero chance of anything happening. I've never paid more than £35. And do you know what lowers the chances of "anything happening" even further? *Not* going. " Yeah I've never paid anything like 80-100 quid! For around 35, if nothing else I get a few hours of nakedness in a pool or jacuzzi and sauna, plus anything else that may or may not happen. | |||
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"You will be e expected to pay about 80 to 100 quid admission fee with little to zero chance of anything happening. I've never paid more than £35. And do you know what lowers the chances of "anything happening" even further? *Not* going. " . Le Boudoir is a members only swingers club in London who on a Friday night charge £80 for a single male.I am a member at OP4F members only club in London who on a Friday night charge £50 - £60 whilst I would love to pay £35 I accept that in London it’s not going to happen. I pay my £50 entrance fee on a Friday night at OP4F chat and socialise with like minded adults and if I get to have adult fun then even better if not I enjoy my night out at the end of my work week | |||
"I was wondering what people's views on, experiences of single guys at clubs are. I am not sure I could put myself through it, I would feel a bit of a spare part? As someone who has been to clubs over the years, my advise is, that unless you are meeting someone there dont go to them. You will be e expected to pay about 80 to 100 quid admission fee with little to zero chance of anything happening. More likely you will be made to feel like a total pariah by the couples and few single ladies there. Save your money. Unsurprisingly use single men as a cash cow so they can discount or let in free couples and single women. " And that is exactly the correct attitude.............. for guys that should go to brothels. If that is your thinking then swinger clubs are really NOT for you. BTW. I've no idea where you get the £80-£100 from. | |||
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"Well if you can imagine a club and there’s a group of 10-12 people mixed sexes and ages. In the middle of that group there’s a guy who is well dressed and in ok shape and not ugly who is laughing chatting with everyone bringing people into the conversation greeting newbies, introducing people to each other, being a social connection, bringing people together. That guy is going to get his brains fucked out on the regular. " I’d like to meet that guy, he sounds like the kind of person I imagined clubs were full of; outgoing, friendly, engaging, and welcoming of newbies........ I’m also pretty confident the reason people don’t return after a single club visit, is because they didn’t feel welcome, and I would imagine the club hosts and regulars could help there | |||
"Going to a club as a single guy can be a bit daunting. I treat it as a normal club or pub and go with the intention of having a good night out and if anything else happens then it’s a bonus.As long as you are friendly and sociable you will be ok." this is definately the way to think. The amount of times I've had guys assume its guarenteed sex... I wouldnt go to clubs if there were no single guys in the club. | |||
"You will be e expected to pay about 80 to 100 quid admission fee with little to zero chance of anything happening. I've never paid more than £35. And do you know what lowers the chances of "anything happening" even further? *Not* going. Le Boudoir is a members only swingers club in London who on a Friday night charge £80 for a single male." Ah, that explains it. London pricing. One of the reasons I don't visit more often. But then, I also have it in my head that London must present more opportunities, just in general? Maybe that's my provincial ignorance talking. | |||
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"Going to a club as a single guy can be a bit daunting. I treat it as a normal club or pub and go with the intention of having a good night out and if anything else happens then it’s a bonus.As long as you are friendly and sociable you will be ok. this is definately the way to think. The amount of times I've had guys assume its guarenteed sex... I wouldnt go to clubs if there were no single guys in the club. " . I think that’s the problem with a lot of single guys on the scene they think it’s guaranteed sex which for me is not always the case. I receive messages from some guys asking if they can come to OP4F or Rios with me as they think it’s guaranteed sex which is not the case. | |||
"As others have said , treat the club like a normal club , chat to both male and female of couples , you will find that the couples who not interested in meeting single guys will let you know politely,, Wander and make friends you will normally get to know if things are going well by body language or hints by couples that are interested, , don’t touch without invite , some are there to play , some just like being watched .some are there just to be social ,be flirty and chatty and you will do well ,couples don’t like being followed around club , it really is like meeting people at social gatherings with the added extra if your liked you could end up having a very good night " Perfect explaination | |||
"I have some sympathy for single guys in clubs, on one occasion the wife took a guy into the viewing room for a play at a club, I was watching though the window and plenty of couples came along for a peep and I'm like 'Hi' only to be completely ignored, later down in the bar the same couples want to strike up a conversation when your with your wife so basically I have a little idea of what it's like and it's not particularly nice." Exactly this, thank you | |||
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"There are plenty of women and couples that seek out single guys at clubs. It takes time to network at any club and chaps thinking that they turn up, pay their entry and then get to bang everyone inside are going to be disappointed. Some of the most "successful" single guys in the club scene are not ripped hunks at all, but are nice friendly guys who take their time to mingle rather than charging around wanking furiously. The people that moan on every single thread about single guys and clubs and how unfair it all is that they get "ignored" and don't get any "action" perhaps need to reevaluate what they bring to the party and why people do not warm to them." Exactly.
Like what I said in the earlier post.
Mrs H has fucked many guys who have been far from the best looking ones in the club. But (and it's a big BUT) they have been friendly, chatty, even a bit flirty, and had some personality attached to the thing between their legs.
Trust me guys it really does pay dividends. | |||
Always a much better an option than sitting on my arse alone at home watching shitty TV. Lol | |||
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"Fantastic response to this, thank you very much, I may just give it a go "Yes give it a go one day when hopefully its safe to meet up people/go clubs again.. Don't read too much into the forums just go relax and make off it what you will then only you will know if you enjoy the club scene or not after say 1 or 2 visits All the best anyway mate hope it works out | |||
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