FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Trans dating in this day and age opinions
Trans dating in this day and age opinions
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Girls have you managed to get dates and relationships without being kept like a dirty secret?
We all know that sex usually it’s pretty easy (as some want to try new experiences) but when it comes to doing more, it seems to get trickier as some want to go there in the bedroom but get cold feet when it comes to dating. How was your experience on that matter?
For the guys/girls who have dated or thought of being involved with girls (or boys) that are trans, do you feel pressure from society and would you date?
Do you feel things are changing?
Love to hear what everyone has got to add on this matter |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People are certainly not as narrow minded as they once were, hopefully we will eventually accept that people can be themselves... however they perceive themselves to be.
Cal"
This is very true, but I think there’s still a lot of stigma and pressure from society, and toxic masculinity
I think things are certainly better but there’s always more we can do I guess |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
I've been very lucky to have met some lovely guys who didn't mind being seen with me as full time trans woman. In fact, I'm currently in a relationship of two years, and he's had to come out to his family and colleagues that he's dating a trans woman.
I think if you go full time, it makes it much easier. That said, I did have an ex-bf who was coming to terms he is more gay than straight. So he didn't mind me switching. I was just starting my transition and RLE (Real Life Experience) at the time.
My trans and admirer friends would all agree that things are getting easier and not such a taboo as it used to be. Like same sex couples holding hands in public, or mixed race couples... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve had a few dates and one longer term relationship. All pre op as I had my surgery in august.
My longer term relationship was lovely. We held hands everywhere we went. Would be comfortable showing affection like any other couple.
I was kinda stealth though. I think I was rarely clocked as trans and he reassured me he wouldn’t have an issue if people knew.
When I first stayed at his place he was initially nervous as, up until that point, we’d always been on my turf so to speak.
I arrived that first night and he decided to take me to his local pub. No one batted an eye. We became regulars as I travelled to see him every weekend. (Long distance relationship).
Our downfall came when his parents were pushing to see me. They knew everything except that I was trans. They’d seen pictures but not met me. We were six months in at this point.
He came so close to telling them several times but then said he just couldn’t. Our relationship collapsed soon after.
I hope one day I’ll meet a man who is proud enough of his relationship with me that he’ll be happy to introduce me to his parents. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve had a few dates and one longer term relationship. All pre op as I had my surgery in august.
My longer term relationship was lovely. We held hands everywhere we went. Would be comfortable showing affection like any other couple.
I was kinda stealth though. I think I was rarely clocked as trans and he reassured me he wouldn’t have an issue if people knew.
When I first stayed at his place he was initially nervous as, up until that point, we’d always been on my turf so to speak.
I arrived that first night and he decided to take me to his local pub. No one batted an eye. We became regulars as I travelled to see him every weekend. (Long distance relationship).
Our downfall came when his parents were pushing to see me. They knew everything except that I was trans. They’d seen pictures but not met me. We were six months in at this point.
He came so close to telling them several times but then said he just couldn’t. Our relationship collapsed soon after.
I hope one day I’ll meet a man who is proud enough of his relationship with me that he’ll be happy to introduce me to his parents. "
So sorry about how it went in the end lovely! And I’m sure you will find a guy who won’t be afraid of introducing you to his parents and family 
So don’t give up 3
I also agree if girls can easily pass obviously the fact of going out isn’t much of a problem as most strangers won’t give the attention as they don’t think twice. the hardest part I guess would be the “coming out” to the closest people like friends and family/parents and proudly saying I’m dating a trans
I guess nowadays in mature relationships it’s more of live/and let live but I guess there’s still social stigma revolving around it. Things seem to be looking up tho |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've been very lucky to have met some lovely guys who didn't mind being seen with me as full time trans woman. In fact, I'm currently in a relationship of two years, and he's had to come out to his family and colleagues that he's dating a trans woman.
I think if you go full time, it makes it much easier. That said, I did have an ex-bf who was coming to terms he is more gay than straight. So he didn't mind me switching. I was just starting my transition and RLE (Real Life Experience) at the time.
My trans and admirer friends would all agree that things are getting easier and not such a taboo as it used to be. Like same sex couples holding hands in public, or mixed race couples..."
I follow your lead, true to myself x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve had a few dates and one longer term relationship. All pre op as I had my surgery in august.
My longer term relationship was lovely. We held hands everywhere we went. Would be comfortable showing affection like any other couple.
I was kinda stealth though. I think I was rarely clocked as trans and he reassured me he wouldn’t have an issue if people knew.
When I first stayed at his place he was initially nervous as, up until that point, we’d always been on my turf so to speak.
I arrived that first night and he decided to take me to his local pub. No one batted an eye. We became regulars as I travelled to see him every weekend. (Long distance relationship).
Our downfall came when his parents were pushing to see me. They knew everything except that I was trans. They’d seen pictures but not met me. We were six months in at this point.
He came so close to telling them several times but then said he just couldn’t. Our relationship collapsed soon after.
I hope one day I’ll meet a man who is proud enough of his relationship with me that he’ll be happy to introduce me to his parents.
So sorry about how it went in the end lovely! And I’m sure you will find a guy who won’t be afraid of introducing you to his parents and family
So don’t give up 3
I also agree if girls can easily pass obviously the fact of going out isn’t much of a problem as most strangers won’t give the attention as they don’t think twice. the hardest part I guess would be the “coming out” to the closest people like friends and family/parents and proudly saying I’m dating a trans
I guess nowadays in mature relationships it’s more of live/and let live but I guess there’s still social stigma revolving around it. Things seem to be looking up tho "
The downside of ‘stealth’ is your back to it being a secret. My ex encouraged me to just be me and just be a woman rather than predicting it with ‘trans’.
This has been very helpful in moving me forward in my transition. I don’t want being trans to define me. There’s more to me than that.
I have spoken to friends and family and asked they don’t prewarn new people and don’t later say ‘did you not realise she’s trans?’ I don’t want to be the trans friend. I just want to be their friend.
It’s not a secret tho. If that person asks if I am then just say yes and move on as it’s not such a big deal.
Obviously, I still think I need any potential lover to be aware. For my safety if nothing else. I’m not here to trick anyone.
There are still plenty of things that ‘give me away’ but not everyone notices them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've had 2 long term boyfriends in the past. One relationship lasted 7 years, and one 4 years.the only reasons these stopped were, down to circumstances, one guy took seriously ill with cancer and the other was because I wouldn't go and live out in Spain. The fact I go out everywhere as a female definately helps. It just looks like any ordinary couple. Ive never had any problems being seen out with a guy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
"
I guess nowadays in mature relationships it’s more of live/and let live but I guess there’s still social stigma revolving around it. Things seem to be looking up tho
The downside of ‘stealth’ is your back to it being a secret. My ex encouraged me to just be me and just be a woman rather than predicting it with ‘trans’.
This has been very helpful in moving me forward in my transition. I don’t want being trans to define me. There’s more to me than that.
I have spoken to friends and family and asked they don’t prewarn new people and don’t later say ‘did you not realise she’s trans?’ I don’t want to be the trans friend. I just want to be their friend.
It’s not a secret tho. If that person asks if I am then just say yes and move on as it’s not such a big deal.
Obviously, I still think I need any potential lover to be aware. For my safety if nothing else. I’m not here to trick anyone.
There are still plenty of things that ‘give me away’ but not everyone notices them. "
 Absolutely agree. From the other side, as a guy if I were dating a trans woman, I'd never introduce her as trans, I don't get the need to announce it, especially where people probably wouldn't notice anyway. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I guess nowadays in mature relationships it’s more of live/and let live but I guess there’s still social stigma revolving around it. Things seem to be looking up tho
The downside of ‘stealth’ is your back to it being a secret. My ex encouraged me to just be me and just be a woman rather than predicting it with ‘trans’.
This has been very helpful in moving me forward in my transition. I don’t want being trans to define me. There’s more to me than that.
I have spoken to friends and family and asked they don’t prewarn new people and don’t later say ‘did you not realise she’s trans?’ I don’t want to be the trans friend. I just want to be their friend.
It’s not a secret tho. If that person asks if I am then just say yes and move on as it’s not such a big deal.
Obviously, I still think I need any potential lover to be aware. For my safety if nothing else. I’m not here to trick anyone.
There are still plenty of things that ‘give me away’ but not everyone notices them.
Absolutely agree. From the other side, as a guy if I were dating a trans woman, I'd never introduce her as trans, I don't get the need to announce it, especially where people probably wouldn't notice anyway."
I think it’s important to be prepared for a surprise question tho. For when someone directly asks if your partner is trans.
A simple yes and then change the subject can be enough.
If they start asking personal questions I tend to shut them down. Let’s face it, it’s not the norm to ask people questions about their genitals in the pub when you’re not considering getting intimate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I find that guys don’t want to be seen out and prefer to either accommodate or come to mine. Same as clubs they’ll contact on here I say I’ll meet them in a club, then they go quiet. A few want to meet me in a sauna but never in a gay bar or bi night at a club even with the knowledge it’ll be full of people with the same mindset.
I got close once with a guy but the day before we were due to meet in the Village, he called it off due to concerns of being seen 
I’m only part time, so you full time girls certainly have my sympathy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I guess nowadays in mature relationships it’s more of live/and let live but I guess there’s still social stigma revolving around it. Things seem to be looking up tho
The downside of ‘stealth’ is your back to it being a secret. My ex encouraged me to just be me and just be a woman rather than predicting it with ‘trans’.
This has been very helpful in moving me forward in my transition. I don’t want being trans to define me. There’s more to me than that.
I have spoken to friends and family and asked they don’t prewarn new people and don’t later say ‘did you not realise she’s trans?’ I don’t want to be the trans friend. I just want to be their friend.
It’s not a secret tho. If that person asks if I am then just say yes and move on as it’s not such a big deal.
Obviously, I still think I need any potential lover to be aware. For my safety if nothing else. I’m not here to trick anyone.
There are still plenty of things that ‘give me away’ but not everyone notices them.
Absolutely agree. From the other side, as a guy if I were dating a trans woman, I'd never introduce her as trans, I don't get the need to announce it, especially where people probably wouldn't notice anyway.
I think it’s important to be prepared for a surprise question tho. For when someone directly asks if your partner is trans.
A simple yes and then change the subject can be enough.
If they start asking personal questions I tend to shut them down. Let’s face it, it’s not the norm to ask people questions about their genitals in the pub when you’re not considering getting intimate. "
Yes I don’t think you have to justify it to anyone and yes being trans doesn’t define
Like sexuality I guess, but also I think it’s fair to be transparent with the person we meet and easier than keeping it a secret (if you had the gender confirmation surgery) to then eventually have the secret blow up in your face down the line.
But yes its never like “hi, My name is, and I’m a trans woman”
What the others have said, yes I think a lot of men are still a bit afraid to be seen out, like they would do the dirt in the bedroom but kinda stays there. (Which is fine to an extent if sex is all you are looking for, but gets boring quick) I think it’s still because of social pressures. Or what they think they are perceived by others
Luckily some don’t care and just see us for who we are |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A lot still depends on where you live. Here in Brighton, no bother. You see lots of trans people in the street, arm in arm with other trans people or with others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What the others have said, yes I think a lot of men are still a bit afraid to be seen out, like they would do the dirt in the bedroom but kinda stays there. (Which is fine to an extent if sex is all you are looking for, but gets boring quick) I think it’s still because of social pressures. Or what they think they are perceived by others
Luckily some don’t care and just see us for who we are "
I can agree with this. Morally I don't think it should bother me, but I've had a lot of problems with social anxiety in the past and I think being with a trans woman would make me feel uncomfortable, but I see that as my issue that I have to deal with.
I can also agree that there is a kink associated with being with a trans woman, it'd be something different and new in the bedroom.
All in all, I feel like I'm a bit of dick on the whole issue. On some dating sites you see people are trans on their profile, then I question why I'm interested, do I like them or am I after the kink, am I trying to prove that I'm better than other by not judging?
It'd be better in some ways if I didn't know right from the start and then I could treat them like anyone else and know that I really did like them for who they are, but I appreciate that it could also be better to be upfront and avoid people who have very negative views. hth |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *obbie BelleTV/TS
over a year ago
Preston, Lancaster, Blackpool |
"Girls have you managed to get dates and relationships without being kept like a dirty secret?
We all know that sex usually it’s pretty easy (as some want to try new experiences) but when it comes to doing more, it seems to get trickier as some want to go there in the bedroom but get cold feet when it comes to dating. How was your experience on that matter?
For the guys/girls who have dated or thought of being involved with girls (or boys) that are trans, do you feel pressure from society and would you date?
Do you feel things are changing?
Love to hear what everyone has got to add on this matter "
For me the question of dating a man is irrelevant.
I dislike admirers!
I have had a very nice relationship with a Lady. We meet in my local pub in Preston. Sadly now shut down.
I was in Gurl mode when we meet.
We continued to meet for quite a few months,with me in both gurl and boy modes.
Never had any issues, apart from distance. She was from York.
We still message each other from time to time.
So not all Trannies are Homosexual.
I think most are Bisexual to some degree.
Hope this helps.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What the others have said, yes I think a lot of men are still a bit afraid to be seen out, like they would do the dirt in the bedroom but kinda stays there. (Which is fine to an extent if sex is all you are looking for, but gets boring quick) I think it’s still because of social pressures. Or what they think they are perceived by others
Luckily some don’t care and just see us for who we are
I can agree with this. Morally I don't think it should bother me, but I've had a lot of problems with social anxiety in the past and I think being with a trans woman would make me feel uncomfortable, but I see that as my issue that I have to deal with.
I can also agree that there is a kink associated with being with a trans woman, it'd be something different and new in the bedroom.
All in all, I feel like I'm a bit of dick on the whole issue. On some dating sites you see people are trans on their profile, then I question why I'm interested, do I like them or am I after the kink, am I trying to prove that I'm better than other by not judging?
It'd be better in some ways if I didn't know right from the start and then I could treat them like anyone else and know that I really did like them for who they are, but I appreciate that it could also be better to be upfront and avoid people who have very negative views. hth"
That’s very honest and enlightening.
I hope one day I’ll find a man who just sees me the way I see me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Girls have you managed to get dates and relationships without being kept like a dirty secret?
We all know that sex usually it’s pretty easy (as some want to try new experiences) but when it comes to doing more, it seems to get trickier as some want to go there in the bedroom but get cold feet when it comes to dating. How was your experience on that matter?
For the guys/girls who have dated or thought of being involved with girls (or boys) that are trans, do you feel pressure from society and would you date?
Do you feel things are changing?
Love to hear what everyone has got to add on this matter
For me the question of dating a man is irrelevant.
I dislike admirers!
I have had a very nice relationship with a Lady. We meet in my local pub in Preston. Sadly now shut down.
I was in Gurl mode when we meet.
We continued to meet for quite a few months,with me in both gurl and boy modes.
Never had any issues, apart from distance. She was from York.
We still message each other from time to time.
So not all Trannies are Homosexual.
I think most are Bisexual to some degree.
Hope this helps.
"
All helpful except the word “trannies”. Very out dated and offensive to most. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That’s very honest and enlightening.
I hope one day I’ll find a man who just sees me the way I see me. "
Always glad to give you an insight into my twisted mind.
I hope we all meet someone like that one day.
Until then, is it still ok for me to wank over your photos?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That’s very honest and enlightening.
I hope one day I’ll find a man who just sees me the way I see me.
Always glad to give you an insight into my twisted mind.
I hope we all meet someone like that one day.
Until then, is it still ok for me to wank over your photos? "
Crack on and crack one out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What the others have said, yes I think a lot of men are still a bit afraid to be seen out, like they would do the dirt in the bedroom but kinda stays there. (Which is fine to an extent if sex is all you are looking for, but gets boring quick) I think it’s still because of social pressures. Or what they think they are perceived by others
Luckily some don’t care and just see us for who we are
I can agree with this. Morally I don't think it should bother me, but I've had a lot of problems with social anxiety in the past and I think being with a trans woman would make me feel uncomfortable, but I see that as my issue that I have to deal with.
I can also agree that there is a kink associated with being with a trans woman, it'd be something different and new in the bedroom.
All in all, I feel like I'm a bit of dick on the whole issue. On some dating sites you see people are trans on their profile, then I question why I'm interested, do I like them or am I after the kink, am I trying to prove that I'm better than other by not judging?
It'd be better in some ways if I didn't know right from the start and then I could treat them like anyone else and know that I really did like them for who they are, but I appreciate that it could also be better to be upfront and avoid people who have very negative views. hth"
Thanks for being honest, I understand and I guess I can see where you are coming from with saying about ur social anxiety. Definitely something to work on in yourself but the fact that you a knowledge it is in itself empowering
I don’t mind being seen as a kink from time to time I guess, so long as I’m in control of that. But deffo gets annoying when it’s all I’m seen as like I’m a sort of sexual creature always ready (not the case) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
It's interesting to read the posts! A good range of views!
Would I like to be introduced as trans? Well no more or less than if people said I was an Oriental woman, or Scottish lassie, or Bi Curious female! It's no big deal.
Face it, Trans can be quite exotic, so you either embrace it (lemons and lemonades) or you can get a chip on your shoulder about it...
At job interviews, I do like it when they ask about "significant achievements", as it gives me a chance to "earth" or neutralise the issue. So I answer, transitioning is the best thing I've ever done! I much rather they know and not give me the job, than walk into a workplace full of transphobes.
Same in a relationship... If he can't be man enough to date me, then quite frankly he doesn't deserve me... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All helpful except the word “trannies”. Very out dated and offensive to most.
Racheal, I am a Trannie, I own the word.
I find you saying it's "outdated" offensive!
Hope this helps more.
"
Not especially but let’s not detract from the thread. We’ve both made our points
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's interesting to read the posts! A good range of views!
Would I like to be introduced as trans? Well no more or less than if people said I was an Oriental woman, or Scottish lassie, or Bi Curious female! It's no big deal.
Face it, Trans can be quite exotic, so you either embrace it (lemons and lemonades) or you can get a chip on your shoulder about it...
At job interviews, I do like it when they ask about "significant achievements", as it gives me a chance to "earth" or neutralise the issue. So I answer, transitioning is the best thing I've ever done! I much rather they know and not give me the job, than walk into a workplace full of transphobes.
Same in a relationship... If he can't be man enough to date me, then quite frankly he doesn't deserve me..."
The final line sums it up. That was what helped me put my ex behind me. He wasn’t man enough to face his parents. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Personally its held me back imo among some other things.
I dont want to upset or hurt anyone so I would prefer they knew from the beginning, but not being out fully as such makes that very difficult.
Like me and a girl I worked with got on super well, but I never asked her out due to her trying to commit suicide after finding out her fiance was trans a couple years before I met her(she blamed herself for some reason). She used to say I reminded her of him/her too, which was a bit awkward in my own head lol
I have started a tinder profile as Chloe and have had a couple of matches but nothing amazing tbh.
It's kinda why I joined here tbh as atleast I can be open and upfront about who/what I am, not that i have much luck
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's interesting to read the posts! A good range of views!
Would I like to be introduced as trans? Well no more or less than if people said I was an Oriental woman, or Scottish lassie, or Bi Curious female! It's no big deal.
Face it, Trans can be quite exotic, so you either embrace it (lemons and lemonades) or you can get a chip on your shoulder about it...
At job interviews, I do like it when they ask about "significant achievements", as it gives me a chance to "earth" or neutralise the issue. So I answer, transitioning is the best thing I've ever done! I much rather they know and not give me the job, than walk into a workplace full of transphobes.
Same in a relationship... If he can't be man enough to date me, then quite frankly he doesn't deserve me...
The final line sums it up. That was what helped me put my ex behind me. He wasn’t man enough to face his parents. "
Exactly, I think it’s only normal to just want to be in the sun when in a relationship, even just an introduction to his parents just so they knew you existed. (I mean you didn’t have to spend every celebration with his parents as some people might not have a good relationship with their parents)
May I ask... did you Introduce your man to your friends and family?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Personally its held me back imo among some other things.
I dont want to upset or hurt anyone so I would prefer they knew from the beginning, but not being out fully as such makes that very difficult.
Like me and a girl I worked with got on super well, but I never asked her out due to her trying to commit suicide after finding out her fiance was trans a couple years before I met her(she blamed herself for some reason). She used to say I reminded her of him/her too, which was a bit awkward in my own head lol
I have started a tinder profile as Chloe and have had a couple of matches but nothing amazing tbh.
It's kinda why I joined here tbh as atleast I can be open and upfront about who/what I am, not that i have much luck
"
I get it, also that can be disheartening I do have tinder and badoo and I admit I do have A LOT of matches but on those sites, soon that I tell them I’m tgirl they either stop messaging or say something rude like “I’m not into dudes” or how they aren’t comfortable
Or the other guys are looking to have sex with me (and that’s it)
Was able to find more open minded people on here but then again it is mostly sex meets I get on here x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's interesting to read the posts! A good range of views!
Would I like to be introduced as trans? Well no more or less than if people said I was an Oriental woman, or Scottish lassie, or Bi Curious female! It's no big deal.
Face it, Trans can be quite exotic, so you either embrace it (lemons and lemonades) or you can get a chip on your shoulder about it...
At job interviews, I do like it when they ask about "significant achievements", as it gives me a chance to "earth" or neutralise the issue. So I answer, transitioning is the best thing I've ever done! I much rather they know and not give me the job, than walk into a workplace full of transphobes.
Same in a relationship... If he can't be man enough to date me, then quite frankly he doesn't deserve me...
The final line sums it up. That was what helped me put my ex behind me. He wasn’t man enough to face his parents.
Exactly, I think it’s only normal to just want to be in the sun when in a relationship, even just an introduction to his parents just so they knew you existed. (I mean you didn’t have to spend every celebration with his parents as some people might not have a good relationship with their parents)
May I ask... did you Introduce your man to your friends and family?
"
Christmas 2019 was going to be his first time. A big ask, so I’d arranged for him to meet my daughters one at a time sometime before but the issue with his parents brought it to an end before he did. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Girls have you managed to get dates and relationships without being kept like a dirty secret?
We all know that sex usually it’s pretty easy (as some want to try new experiences) but when it comes to doing more, it seems to get trickier as some want to go there in the bedroom but get cold feet when it comes to dating. How was your experience on that matter?
For the guys/girls who have dated or thought of being involved with girls (or boys) that are trans, do you feel pressure from society and would you date?
Do you feel things are changing?
Love to hear what everyone has got to add on this matter "
I see it as if you are someone's cup of tea and you have that connection then you should be fine.
I am not great at this conversation and I really do not want to say anything that will cause offence to anyone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Girls have you managed to get dates and relationships without being kept like a dirty secret?
We all know that sex usually it’s pretty easy (as some want to try new experiences) but when it comes to doing more, it seems to get trickier as some want to go there in the bedroom but get cold feet when it comes to dating. How was your experience on that matter?
For the guys/girls who have dated or thought of being involved with girls (or boys) that are trans, do you feel pressure from society and would you date?
Do you feel things are changing?
Love to hear what everyone has got to add on this matter
I see it as if you are someone's cup of tea and you have that connection then you should be fine.
I am not great at this conversation and I really do not want to say anything that will cause offence to anyone. "
You’re doing ok so far
The problem is; in theory all it takes is attraction and all’s good but in reality there is still so much stigma around dating a trans person, whether that’s real or imagined. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Girls have you managed to get dates and relationships without being kept like a dirty secret?
We all know that sex usually it’s pretty easy (as some want to try new experiences) but when it comes to doing more, it seems to get trickier as some want to go there in the bedroom but get cold feet when it comes to dating. How was your experience on that matter?
For the guys/girls who have dated or thought of being involved with girls (or boys) that are trans, do you feel pressure from society and would you date?
Do you feel things are changing?
Love to hear what everyone has got to add on this matter
I see it as if you are someone's cup of tea and you have that connection then you should be fine.
I am not great at this conversation and I really do not want to say anything that will cause offence to anyone.
You’re doing ok so far
The problem is; in theory all it takes is attraction and all’s good but in reality there is still so much stigma around dating a trans person, whether that’s real or imagined. "
Well I am very glad you think so.
I just do t wanna end up saying the wrong thing. So it's each to their own, but if you find someone your attracted to both physically and mentally. Then why the hell not? X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Girls have you managed to get dates and relationships without being kept like a dirty secret?
We all know that sex usually it’s pretty easy (as some want to try new experiences) but when it comes to doing more, it seems to get trickier as some want to go there in the bedroom but get cold feet when it comes to dating. How was your experience on that matter?
For the guys/girls who have dated or thought of being involved with girls (or boys) that are trans, do you feel pressure from society and would you date?
Do you feel things are changing?
Love to hear what everyone has got to add on this matter
I see it as if you are someone's cup of tea and you have that connection then you should be fine.
I am not great at this conversation and I really do not want to say anything that will cause offence to anyone.
You’re doing ok so far
The problem is; in theory all it takes is attraction and all’s good but in reality there is still so much stigma around dating a trans person, whether that’s real or imagined. "
Extremely true!! I think nowadays there are good things on tv and media so it’s slowly getting tackled and normalised x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Personally its held me back imo among some other things.
I dont want to upset or hurt anyone so I would prefer they knew from the beginning, but not being out fully as such makes that very difficult.
Like me and a girl I worked with got on super well, but I never asked her out due to her trying to commit suicide after finding out her fiance was trans a couple years before I met her(she blamed herself for some reason). She used to say I reminded her of him/her too, which was a bit awkward in my own head lol
I have started a tinder profile as Chloe and have had a couple of matches but nothing amazing tbh.
It's kinda why I joined here tbh as atleast I can be open and upfront about who/what I am, not that i have much luck
I get it, also that can be disheartening I do have tinder and badoo and I admit I do have A LOT of matches but on those sites, soon that I tell them I’m tgirl they either stop messaging or say something rude like “I’m not into dudes” or how they aren’t comfortable
Or the other guys are looking to have sex with me (and that’s it)
Was able to find more open minded people on here but then again it is mostly sex meets I get on here x "
Yeah I'm mainly looking for woman though myself, I can get guys easy tbh
Did have one girl match with me on Tinder who thought I was a girl then went 'oh sorry I'm not into trans' haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's interesting to read the posts! A good range of views!
Would I like to be introduced as trans? Well no more or less than if people said I was an Oriental woman, or Scottish lassie, or Bi Curious female! It's no big deal.
Face it, Trans can be quite exotic, so you either embrace it (lemons and lemonades) or you can get a chip on your shoulder about it...
At job interviews, I do like it when they ask about "significant achievements", as it gives me a chance to "earth" or neutralise the issue. So I answer, transitioning is the best thing I've ever done! I much rather they know and not give me the job, than walk into a workplace full of transphobes.
Same in a relationship... If he can't be man enough to date me, then quite frankly he doesn't deserve me...
The final line sums it up. That was what helped me put my ex behind me. He wasn’t man enough to face his parents. "
For me and Suz it was all about the timing. Ensuring everyone had the time to truly understand how we felt about each other. Allowing them their feelings, but being true to our feelings. Welcome to the family Suz x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Id date anyone i was attracted to.
Happily hold hands..have dinner.
Introduce to friends and family.
I dont give 2 shits what people think of me.
When im in love im in love.
Thats nobody elses business.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We’ve been together just over a year and it’s been an easy ride thankfully. My son admits to struggling a bit at the beginning, but she’s fully accepted into the family now. Even in my village nobody seems to be at all bothered by us. Not sure if we’ve just been lucky or the fact that we’re confident, friendly and hold our heads high, has helped us! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Id date anyone i was attracted to.
Happily hold hands..have dinner.
Introduce to friends and family.
I dont give 2 shits what people think of me.
When im in love im in love.
Thats nobody elses business.
"
This is what we like to hear !! we need more men with that attitude |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"We’ve been together just over a year and it’s been an easy ride thankfully. My son admits to struggling a bit at the beginning, but she’s fully accepted into the family now. Even in my village nobody seems to be at all bothered by us. Not sure if we’ve just been lucky or the fact that we’re confident, friendly and hold our heads high, has helped us!"
That sounds lovely!
For me, "passing" or going "stealth" is not so important as looking tidy/decent and behaving pleasantly/normally. People can respect you then.
When people stare, I normally look them in the eye, smile at them, then get on with what I'm doing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We’ve been together just over a year and it’s been an easy ride thankfully. My son admits to struggling a bit at the beginning, but she’s fully accepted into the family now. Even in my village nobody seems to be at all bothered by us. Not sure if we’ve just been lucky or the fact that we’re confident, friendly and hold our heads high, has helped us!
That sounds lovely!
For me, "passing" or going "stealth" is not so important as looking tidy/decent and behaving pleasantly/normally. People can respect you then.
When people stare, I normally look them in the eye, smile at them, then get on with what I'm doing."
Exactly this! Not really bothered what people think, as long as they’re pleasant and friendly, we’re happy ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My daughter dated a trans guy. I had no problems with it in fact they met because of me as he is the son of a friend. His mother on the urge have just refuses to even go there and refers to him as daughter and uses his ghost name. So sad. I think things are changing - none of my children have any problems with it. their cousin is non binary and my parents are trying very hard to get their heads around it but have been very good at using their chosen name.
I hope you find someone who sees you for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id date anyone i was attracted to.
Happily hold hands..have dinner.
Introduce to friends and family.
I dont give 2 shits what people think of me.
When im in love im in love.
Thats nobody elses business.
This is what we like to hear !! we need more men with that attitude "
Ah thanks sweetie. Its a shame you only date straight guys youre beautiful x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would date/have a relationship with a trans woman because trans women are women, simple as that really.
Same as I would date a trans man, or someone who is non-binary or genderfluid or whatever.
It's more about the person and whether or not I find them attractive and I think an increasing number of people are beginning to see it that way because education on the experiences of trans and queer people has improved tenfold. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Id date anyone i was attracted to.
Happily hold hands..have dinner.
Introduce to friends and family.
I dont give 2 shits what people think of me.
When im in love im in love.
Thats nobody elses business.
This is what we like to hear !! we need more men with that attitude
Ah thanks sweetie. Its a shame you only date straight guys youre beautiful x"
Thanks hunny x when it comes to dating I obviously look for the person so it all goes out of the window |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
When I've dated guys in normal public places, they've always been ok and never a problem. I assume as we're going out there shouldn't really be a problem.
The worst guys, are ones that live in flats or something similar where they try and smuggle you in and back out quietly hoping the neighbours don't notice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think things are changing. I have dated a few people now since I transitioned. I do occasionally hear people comment but its more about the fact two women are holding hand than that I an trans.
The world is changing and it seems to be just older generation getting left behind. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
