FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > struggling to get replies
struggling to get replies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi guys been here for a while as as couple branching out solo with permission stuggling to even get replies to messages any suggestions to profile changes more than welcome any advice for messages always good too, normally my messages are respectful but I i get overlooked as they could possibly be bland |
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All I can say is instead of relying on solely getting answers to messages, use the other facilities that fab has to offer like keep on contributing to the forums and use the chatrooms to make connections. Sometimes a man is much more likely to get the right kind of attention from these , rather than being lost in a sea of messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you was in a couple in here surely you know how many men are here 50:1 ish and how difficult it is for the single male . You really need to stand out but good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think sometimes its luck...I get a few replies and have a few opportunities with single females for the summer(fingers crossed) but I couldn't tell you what I do right or wrong.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All I can say is instead of relying on solely getting answers to messages, use the other facilities that fab has to offer like keep on contributing to the forums and use the chatrooms to make connections. Sometimes a man is much more likely to get the right kind of attention from these , rather than being lost in a sea of messages."
This is great advice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have a profile on here as a couple you should have a good idea what kind of message to send. Which type do you ignore on your couples profile? Which get your attention?
Also you say you are verified, according to your profile that is a veri from your couples profile, which tbh is probably against site rules but if not would probably raise a red flag to us anyway as you are basically verifying yourself, but maybe not all see it this way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have a profile on here as a couple you should have a good idea what kind of message to send. Which type do you ignore on your couples profile? Which get your attention?
Also you say you are verified, according to your profile that is a veri from your couples profile, which tbh is probably against site rules but if not would probably raise a red flag to us anyway as you are basically verifying yourself, but maybe not all see it this way."
Yeah, I'm not sure thats allowed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Tbh we as a couple don't get a lot of messages either, mainly because we as my male profile have blocked single men. As i said i send respectful messages. Thinking it is more to do with ratios. |
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The odds for single men on this site are similar to the lottery. I know females and couples in here who receive thousands of messages every week. My advice is when lockdown rules are relaxed attend socials or clubs and you will improve your chances exponentially. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Just consider the ratio of single women to single men... also can’t hurt to tidy up your profile a bit. It’s probably all the homeschooling but capital letters... every little helps  "
Agreed. Plus, from the use of starting each sentence with 'I' has the psychological effect of making people think everything revolves around you.
Change the content to take away that error, to make yourself appear more inclusive to those you aim to please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys been here for a while as as couple branching out solo with permission stuggling to even get replies to messages any suggestions to profile changes more than welcome any advice for messages always good too, normally my messages are respectful but I i get overlooked as they could possibly be bland"
maybe it is because you still have your socks on .lol
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By *etnetWoman
over a year ago
birmingham |
"Hi guys been here for a while as as couple branching out solo with permission stuggling to even get replies to messages any suggestions to profile changes more than welcome any advice for messages always good too, normally my messages are respectful but I i get overlooked as they could possibly be bland"
Maybe a white shirt and dicky bow, holding a bottle of Dior Sauvage should do the trick . Just don’t reveal too much.  |
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Also, not sure of the rules, but other single profiles if they're also part of a couple do normally put up the couple username to help people check them out, I think at the moment you're just telling us that's the case. |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
south west |
Your chance of a reply, in my experience is greatly increased if you can say something unique, funny and relevant to their profile in your message...not easy ...but general bland messaging is not very fruitful as your aware. Chatting in a chat room and seeing someone on cam is also a relatively easy way to say hello and get a response, if you meet there age etc criteria...
Some of the threads in the forum (e.g in my case older guys) are great for striking up a convo with some one folks that post that say they like them etc
Best of all go to an organised social, if your a sociable chap you'll meet and chat to more ladies in one evening than in a year on here...
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Just read the profile and then compose a message based on what you have read and not what you have seen in the pics.
No need to repeat things you have already written in your profile as the first thing we do when we get a message is read their profile.
For us, it doesn't need to be long winded. Just tell us what it is about our profile that's made you message. We feel we have put enough info on what we want to give someone an ideal intro as to why they are looking for similar things.
Just please don't send 'hi how are you'. That is honestly like nails on a chalkboard to us now. Closely followed by 'how you finding lockdown' and 'I'm in your area in 20 minutes, fancy a meet'. |
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By *959femxCouple
over a year ago
Weston super mare |
We get lots and lots of messages from guys who obviously don’t read the profile before they send . If they have on their own profile a list of interests : anal , fisting , bi , bi curious , etc etc. And we are interested in none of these why would we reply ? When we do reply and someone says do you do X do you do Y do you do Z it’s like a tick sheet from a porno film . If you read someone’s profile and they have none of your interests don’t message save your time for people with similar interests you may have more luck . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the brutal facts are that some one needs to at the very least sexually fancy you if you add that to the sheer number of me on here then the rejection rate is very high ...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All I can say is instead of relying on solely getting answers to messages, use the other facilities that fab has to offer like keep on contributing to the forums and use the chatrooms to make connections. Sometimes a man is much more likely to get the right kind of attention from these , rather than being lost in a sea of messages."
This! |
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Whiny status update, as well as having "limited time during the day" are things that would really put us off if we were looking for single men. What are you expecting from your potential meets (when we're allowed)? Just a quick "wham bam, thank you, Ma'am"? As that's how your profile sounds at present.
It's good that you're being honest that you haven't got a lot of free time, but either maybe wait once you do, or stick with your couple's profile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the brutal facts are that some one needs to at the very least sexually fancy you if you add that to the sheer number of me on here then the rejection rate is very high ...
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Men in their 40s looking for sex isn't exactly rare or hard to find. Unless you are a charming, friendly, funny guy with a body and face that women want you aren't going to get much interest. |
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Some reasons I might not reply (just me and my criteria, I haven't looked at your profile):
No pics of what I'll be getting on a meet or pics show me I wouldn't be interested in playing
Can't accommodate locally
Tries to engage me in online chat
Is disrespectful is his status/ on his profile/ in his message
Content of the message makes it clear we don't match or he hasn't bothered checking the words on my profile to see if we match
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