FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > confidence
confidence
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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treat yourself....... works for me when i get knocked down, then make sure you think positive about yourself, remember you are as good as anyone else!!!! keep smiling  |
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never had my (F)confidence knocked as far as swinging goes but in other areas of my life yes I have. I usually get over it in a couple of days mostly with the help of my lovely partner who always tells me how gorgeous I am
To you I would say read your verifications, they speak for themselves there are obviously many people who appreciate your charms. From your photos you are extremely attractive and I bet it was one person who said something horrible....why believe them over all the others who've said how great you are?
Hold your heasd high and say "f*** 'em" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i(m) experienced a confidence knock a couple of weeks back. on a meet and i just couldnt stay hard, i dont as rule have a problem and the meet was stunning.
Now im old enough to know this "just" happens sometimes, sometimes without reason at all but it still knocked me for a couple of days as i felt a bit of a let down.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had my confidence knocked a few times, but normally i just "get back on the horse" as it were, and move on, you cant let other people keep you down and if its something you did that has knocked your confidence the best way to get it back is to do it again but better. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
think about all the good times and really focus on all the positives.
make a list of all the things that bring a smile to your face.
good luck and try and not let anything get you down, especially in swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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can i ask... ive seen your status, if thats what its regarding, did they make initial contact with you and then become abusive if you knocked them back?
because, to be honest, thats rather normal on here, ive had it loads as a single fem x
raise above  |
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someone who I (f) had rejected politely I might add, replied to me "who wants to fuck a pensioner?" and "I fucking hate gingers" lol. It just made us laugh sometimes people don't take rejection well  .
To OP if it was someone you'd rejected take no notice and thank God you did reject them imagine what goes on in their head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh yeah ... heaps ... it doesn't take much .. just a bit of thoughtlessness from someone else.
A bit of pampering and spending time with the people who really know and appreciate you and know that you are absolutely fab and beautiful.
Saddle up and get back on
Yeee Haw!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"can i ask... ive seen your status, if thats what its regarding, did they make initial contact with you and then become abusive if you knocked them back?
because, to be honest, thats rather normal on here, ive had it loads as a single fem x
raise above "
i know and yes it was. il be ok just having a moment . thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone insults you because you say no then they weren't worth the time. They obviously didn't have a problem with your size when they first asked to meet you. People don't like being saying no to, and so they feel hurt try and back at you. What they don't understand is we are on a swinging site we don't have to meet everyone who is interested.
I'd block and move on. You are better than that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well if it was out to do with your status, then i wouldnt worry about it, i looked at your pics and you look gorgous and deffos not a fatty or what ever you been called,
if it was someone you knocked back then i wouldnt take anythhing they say in spite as being true, they are just upset at being knocked back and being childish about it
see someone you know who makes you feel good to help make you forget about them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some are just 'kin horrible with the stuff they come out with at people, and are beyond contempt really. Just shows you there are lots out there who still chuck their toys out the pram when they don't get their own way.
Onwards and upwards OP, don't let it rent space in ya head 
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just looked at your profile pictures and can only say that whoever called you fatty needs an urgent appointment at Specsavers!!! You are lovely mmmmmm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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rise above it, they obviously liked you to have made contact. They couldnt handle the rejection and picked on the first thing they thought would hurt you.
I got told once that i should be grateful for what i got seeing as i was an ugly fat minger....made me laugh and i just blocked....and all because i wasnt interested |
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It depends for me what's happened. I don't think I've ever had a universal lack of confidence, merely confidence dipping in certain aspects of my life. As such, there's still a wealth of reserve confidence remaining in me to be tapped into.
So, if you're still confident in certain things, let that be your focus, as this will infuse through you, allowing you to regain some confidence where it matters.
If it's a very short term dent, then I find some relaxation, possibly including some deep breathing, to be something that grounds me. If I'm not stood up, then I also place my feet firmly on the floor, as this is a great grounding technique too.
That said, there's nothing like having great self awareness. Sometimes if we're troubled, it's because there's something to be paid attention to. Perhaps we need to learn something, take a decision to follow a different course, let something go etc. If we're not harbouring stuff, it gives us a growing space, where we can emotionally grow again.
Otherwise, exercise is a great way to help us unwind, reinvigorate, as a healthy foundation for rebuilding ourselves up.
Let your mind focus on the good strengths that you have too. If someone dwells on the negative, then they'll likely sink a little. This isn't about ignoring important stuff, merely to be balanced and not fixate on what's wrong with me etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends for me what's happened. I don't think I've ever had a universal lack of confidence, merely confidence dipping in certain aspects of my life. As such, there's still a wealth of reserve confidence remaining in me to be tapped into.
So, if you're still confident in certain things, let that be your focus, as this will infuse through you, allowing you to regain some confidence where it matters.
If it's a very short term dent, then I find some relaxation, possibly including some deep breathing, to be something that grounds me. If I'm not stood up, then I also place my feet firmly on the floor, as this is a great grounding technique too.
That said, there's nothing like having great self awareness. Sometimes if we're troubled, it's because there's something to be paid attention to. Perhaps we need to learn something, take a decision to follow a different course, let something go etc. If we're not harbouring stuff, it gives us a growing space, where we can emotionally grow again.
Otherwise, exercise is a great way to help us unwind, reinvigorate, as a healthy foundation for rebuilding ourselves up.
Let your mind focus on the good strengths that you have too. If someone dwells on the negative, then they'll likely sink a little. This isn't about ignoring important stuff, merely to be balanced and not fixate on what's wrong with me etc."
That was lovely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, your pics look amazing. Hope you feel better soon.
Remember.... "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent"..... Xx"
Excellent quote from Eleanor Rossevelt |
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"have u ever had urs knocked? and hows the best way to retreive it i know ur suppose to have a thick skin etc but sometimes does get to u"
just ignore and move on knowing your just as good as anyone else that puts you down if not better  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They have just had their confidence knocked by being rejected by you so their reaction was knock yours by being insulting
some people cant handle rejection as well as others so need to make themselfs feel better by bringing you down its just there immaturity coming through and showing you what they are really like under all the b/s they put up to trick people into having sex with them |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
I used to get really upset by some of the comments, especially made about me in chat, now I just dont give a flying one!
Seriously chick, block and ignore. It can make you feel shite but theyre the ones who end u looking like a twunt! And they can't hide their true colours for long.
Chin up and dont let them get you down x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always reply to everyone who messages us and even when we are not interested (most of the time really) you can let people know without offending them in the slightest.
Maybe we just have more class and manners than most. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, lots of times. But I can choose to become a nun or I can decide not to let arseholes stop me from having fun.
When I was in my 20s a guy pretended to turn gay during drinks in a pub, to avoid having dinner with me.
Last August I had a horrible meet with a total shit which put me off meeting anyone for months.
I make dreadful choices sometimes, so I'm working on that but, ultimately, shitty behaviour is a problem with them, not you.
Amusingly, the scummy tosser from August contacted me again a few months later saying "I'm not going to beg but if you'd like to chat, that'd be cool with me". I told him where to go. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I've been lucky in that when I've given a thanks but no thanks, I've never had an abusive reply back, I often get a thanks for replying and that's the end of the convo.....I've had a look at your photos, you look bloody great to me, as someone else said, think of all the compliments you've had, check out how many times you're photo's have been fabbed and block the tit that insulted you.....better still, get yourself laid |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh and to the OP, note you blocked us for no reason after sending you a message. Maybe you reap what you sow? #justsaying"
lol prime example !! i have very very good reasons y u are. and no i do not wish to share them . |
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"have u ever had urs knocked? and hows the best way to retreive it i know ur suppose to have a thick skin etc but sometimes does get to u"
Mines knocked very badly atm and cant see the light at the end of the tunnel  |
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