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Come down
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions? |
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Arrange for another meet?
Theres always a come down if you've been building up to it. You've spent time waiting to get to that moment, then it finally arrives, its amazing and then it passes.
Then when it's over you're asking yourself...what's next?
So you start again. Either with another person or arranging another meet with the person you had a great time with.
Every high has a low. Just have to ride the wave.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Arrange for another meet?
Theres always a come down if you've been building up to it. You've spent time waiting to get to that moment, then it finally arrives, its amazing and then it passes.
Then when it's over you're asking yourself...what's next?
So you start again. Either with another person or arranging another meet with the person you had a great time with.
Every high has a low. Just have to ride the wave.
"
For some reason I feel very low and not experienced this before |
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"Arrange for another meet?
Theres always a come down if you've been building up to it. You've spent time waiting to get to that moment, then it finally arrives, its amazing and then it passes.
Then when it's over you're asking yourself...what's next?
So you start again. Either with another person or arranging another meet with the person you had a great time with.
Every high has a low. Just have to ride the wave.
For some reason I feel very low and not experienced this before "
Maybe because you've been chatting for so long or you had a better connection than with others? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Arrange for another meet?
Theres always a come down if you've been building up to it. You've spent time waiting to get to that moment, then it finally arrives, its amazing and then it passes.
Then when it's over you're asking yourself...what's next?
So you start again. Either with another person or arranging another meet with the person you had a great time with.
Every high has a low. Just have to ride the wave.
For some reason I feel very low and not experienced this before
Maybe because you've been chatting for so long or you had a better connection than with others? "
I certainly feel a strong emotional connection to him do that's feasible |
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"Arrange for another meet?
Theres always a come down if you've been building up to it. You've spent time waiting to get to that moment, then it finally arrives, its amazing and then it passes.
Then when it's over you're asking yourself...what's next?
So you start again. Either with another person or arranging another meet with the person you had a great time with.
Every high has a low. Just have to ride the wave.
For some reason I feel very low and not experienced this before
Maybe because you've been chatting for so long or you had a better connection than with others?
I certainly feel a strong emotional connection to him do that's feasible "
Tell him.youd like to see him again and see what happens? You only live once. |
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"hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions? "
What you are experiencing is what is often called drop in the kink community and is completly natural to experience if you have had an amazing night with what sounds like a strong connection to the person. The best way of dealing with it is to communicate with him I find this eases the felling somewhat, also make sure you get some you time, self care is very important. I don't know the details of your relationship with this person but it does sound like you have quite a bond with them so it's only natural you fell the way that you do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions?
What you are experiencing is what is often called drop in the kink community and is completly natural to experience if you have had an amazing night with what sounds like a strong connection to the person. The best way of dealing with it is to communicate with him I find this eases the felling somewhat, also make sure you get some you time, self care is very important. I don't know the details of your relationship with this person but it does sound like you have quite a bond with them so it's only natural you fell the way that you do"
This 
This underlines the importance of aftercare, both on the day and afterwards if possible.
I would also contact him, even if it’s just to say how much you enjoyed it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Arrange for another meet?
Theres always a come down if you've been building up to it. You've spent time waiting to get to that moment, then it finally arrives, its amazing and then it passes.
Then when it's over you're asking yourself...what's next?
So you start again. Either with another person or arranging another meet with the person you had a great time with.
Every high has a low. Just have to ride the wave.
For some reason I feel very low and not experienced this before
Maybe because you've been chatting for so long or you had a better connection than with others?
I certainly feel a strong emotional connection to him do that's feasible
Tell him.youd like to see him again and see what happens? You only live once."
we've been messaging each other today so all is not lost  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions?
What you are experiencing is what is often called drop in the kink community and is completly natural to experience if you have had an amazing night with what sounds like a strong connection to the person. The best way of dealing with it is to communicate with him I find this eases the felling somewhat, also make sure you get some you time, self care is very important. I don't know the details of your relationship with this person but it does sound like you have quite a bond with them so it's only natural you fell the way that you do"
its "complicated" to say the least but i didnt want to go into too much detail on here. youre quite right though, self care is important. i chatted with some friends last night ( not about this), just general catching up, had a long bath and an early night. thank you for your advise x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wish I could say you get used to it. But I havnt and its a complete mind fuck sometimes.
X"
oh i can totally empathise. so what do you do to cope with it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions?
What you are experiencing is what is often called drop in the kink community and is completly natural to experience if you have had an amazing night with what sounds like a strong connection to the person. The best way of dealing with it is to communicate with him I find this eases the felling somewhat, also make sure you get some you time, self care is very important. I don't know the details of your relationship with this person but it does sound like you have quite a bond with them so it's only natural you fell the way that you do
This
This underlines the importance of aftercare, both on the day and afterwards if possible.
I would also contact him, even if it’s just to say how much you enjoyed it? "
yes he messaged me this monring and we've been chatting on and off all day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions?
What you are experiencing is what is often called drop in the kink community and is completly natural to experience if you have had an amazing night with what sounds like a strong connection to the person. The best way of dealing with it is to communicate with him I find this eases the felling somewhat, also make sure you get some you time, self care is very important. I don't know the details of your relationship with this person but it does sound like you have quite a bond with them so it's only natural you fell the way that you do
This
This underlines the importance of aftercare, both on the day and afterwards if possible.
I would also contact him, even if it’s just to say how much you enjoyed it?
yes he messaged me this monring and we've been chatting on and off all day. "
That’s great, it makes a big difference doesn’t it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions?
What you are experiencing is what is often called drop in the kink community and is completly natural to experience if you have had an amazing night with what sounds like a strong connection to the person. The best way of dealing with it is to communicate with him I find this eases the felling somewhat, also make sure you get some you time, self care is very important. I don't know the details of your relationship with this person but it does sound like you have quite a bond with them so it's only natural you fell the way that you do
This
This underlines the importance of aftercare, both on the day and afterwards if possible.
I would also contact him, even if it’s just to say how much you enjoyed it?
yes he messaged me this monring and we've been chatting on and off all day.
That’s great, it makes a big difference doesn’t it "
yes it does, im feeling much better about things today. thank you lovely x |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions? "
Just because you have great chemistry and the sexual side of things have been overwhelming, it's understanding the swinging scene because it's like people getting attached rather than enjoying the experience if it's your first experience maybe it's something that you need to think about as encounters in the swinging scene are just that unless it's on a regular basis like a Fwb even then it is just that so enjoy the experience and the memories that go along with the journey. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"hello everyone
im just wondering how you deal with the come down? you know, youve been chatting for months, the chemistry is off the scale. you finally meet, have amazing sex then he goes home and you're left alone. how do you deal with the dramatic come down in emotions?
Just because you have great chemistry and the sexual side of things have been overwhelming, it's understanding the swinging scene because it's like people getting attached rather than enjoying the experience if it's your first experience maybe it's something that you need to think about as encounters in the swinging scene are just that unless it's on a regular basis like a Fwb even then it is just that so enjoy the experience and the memories that go along with the journey."
its not my first experience and im hoping we become fwb but totally understand about not becoming atatched in the first place |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
It is a major shift from high, high endorphins to a major drop to oxytocin.
Oxytocin is a major hormone, a need for  comfort and physical support.
There are some great methods, to help find a balance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Enjoy and arrange the next time if it was so good for you both. Don’t stress but savour the memory"
Next time has been arranged. Feel much better now |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It is a major shift from high, high endorphins to a major drop to oxytocin.
Oxytocin is a major hormone, a need for comfort and physical support.
There are some great methods, to help find a balance."
I think you're right about trying to strike a balance. I'm by no means a hardened swinger and both our home lives are complicated but I'm going to read up on trying to get a balance |
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"I wish I could say you get used to it. But I havnt and its a complete mind fuck sometimes.
X
oh i can totally empathise. so what do you do to cope with it?"
I'm blessed as my husband is there to support me through the drop. He will pamper me and give me aftercare. Sometimes it takes days but he's patient. I do have a few friends that know about our lifestyle so I can sit and talk to them which helps.but then it starts all over again. I think I need to find a new way of dealing with it xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wish I could say you get used to it. But I havnt and its a complete mind fuck sometimes.
X
oh i can totally empathise. so what do you do to cope with it?
I'm blessed as my husband is there to support me through the drop. He will pamper me and give me aftercare. Sometimes it takes days but he's patient. I do have a few friends that know about our lifestyle so I can sit and talk to them which helps.but then it starts all over again. I think I need to find a new way of dealing with it xx"
its good that you have hubby to comfort you and that you arent on your own. it really affected me, something im not used to and felt awful that night. perhaps being on my own wasnt the best idea at the time.
what does hubby do to help you? |
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|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"It is a major shift from high, high endorphins to a major drop to oxytocin.
Oxytocin is a major hormone, a need for comfort and physical support.
There are some great methods, to help find a balance.
I think you're right about trying to strike a balance. I'm by no means a hardened swinger and both our home lives are complicated but I'm going to read up on trying to get a balance"
One of the best ways is to create a safe place, a series of good memories and create a stimulus/response, this can counter the down by production of feel good hormones.
Not a good metaphor, I know, a bit like Pavlov’s dogs.
|
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"I wish I could say you get used to it. But I havnt and its a complete mind fuck sometimes.
X
oh i can totally empathise. so what do you do to cope with it?
I'm blessed as my husband is there to support me through the drop. He will pamper me and give me aftercare. Sometimes it takes days but he's patient. I do have a few friends that know about our lifestyle so I can sit and talk to them which helps.but then it starts all over again. I think I need to find a new way of dealing with it xx
its good that you have hubby to comfort you and that you arent on your own. it really affected me, something im not used to and felt awful that night. perhaps being on my own wasnt the best idea at the time.
what does hubby do to help you?"
Yeah being alone is hard. I've done that too.
He listens to everything I need to say. He will wrap me in a blanket and have all the nice treats that I may want.
Sometimes a sugar boost does help 
He will run me a bubble bath and light candles and play soft music and just sit and talk to me while I'm laying there. Or sometimes we sit in silence.
When I'm in my drop my head goes into a fuzz and I get things mixed up and everything seems doom and gloom so he re words things,and makes then more clear and it usually isn't as sad as my head makes it seem.
He turns things positive. Xx |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It is a major shift from high, high endorphins to a major drop to oxytocin.
Oxytocin is a major hormone, a need for comfort and physical support.
There are some great methods, to help find a balance.
I think you're right about trying to strike a balance. I'm by no means a hardened swinger and both our home lives are complicated but I'm going to read up on trying to get a balance
One of the best ways is to create a safe place, a series of good memories and create a stimulus/response, this can counter the down by production of feel good hormones.
Not a good metaphor, I know, a bit like Pavlov’s dogs.
"
lol yes i'll give pavlov a miss |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wish I could say you get used to it. But I havnt and its a complete mind fuck sometimes.
X
oh i can totally empathise. so what do you do to cope with it?
I'm blessed as my husband is there to support me through the drop. He will pamper me and give me aftercare. Sometimes it takes days but he's patient. I do have a few friends that know about our lifestyle so I can sit and talk to them which helps.but then it starts all over again. I think I need to find a new way of dealing with it xx
its good that you have hubby to comfort you and that you arent on your own. it really affected me, something im not used to and felt awful that night. perhaps being on my own wasnt the best idea at the time.
what does hubby do to help you?
Yeah being alone is hard. I've done that too.
He listens to everything I need to say. He will wrap me in a blanket and have all the nice treats that I may want.
Sometimes a sugar boost does help
He will run me a bubble bath and light candles and play soft music and just sit and talk to me while I'm laying there. Or sometimes we sit in silence.
When I'm in my drop my head goes into a fuzz and I get things mixed up and everything seems doom and gloom so he re words things,and makes then more clear and it usually isn't as sad as my head makes it seem.
He turns things positive. Xx "
sounds like youve got a good one there! youve given me some ideas about what i should do next time, bubble bath and sugar sounds a winner |
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"I wish I could say you get used to it. But I havnt and its a complete mind fuck sometimes.
X
oh i can totally empathise. so what do you do to cope with it?
I'm blessed as my husband is there to support me through the drop. He will pamper me and give me aftercare. Sometimes it takes days but he's patient. I do have a few friends that know about our lifestyle so I can sit and talk to them which helps.but then it starts all over again. I think I need to find a new way of dealing with it xx
its good that you have hubby to comfort you and that you arent on your own. it really affected me, something im not used to and felt awful that night. perhaps being on my own wasnt the best idea at the time.
what does hubby do to help you?
Yeah being alone is hard. I've done that too.
He listens to everything I need to say. He will wrap me in a blanket and have all the nice treats that I may want.
Sometimes a sugar boost does help
He will run me a bubble bath and light candles and play soft music and just sit and talk to me while I'm laying there. Or sometimes we sit in silence.
When I'm in my drop my head goes into a fuzz and I get things mixed up and everything seems doom and gloom so he re words things,and makes then more clear and it usually isn't as sad as my head makes it seem.
He turns things positive. Xx
sounds like youve got a good one there! youve given me some ideas about what i should do next time, bubble bath and sugar sounds a winner"
Lol self care is good. And talking helps if there is someone that you can talk too. If not give me a shout on here I'll glady sit and listen flower xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wish I could say you get used to it. But I havnt and its a complete mind fuck sometimes.
X
oh i can totally empathise. so what do you do to cope with it?
I'm blessed as my husband is there to support me through the drop. He will pamper me and give me aftercare. Sometimes it takes days but he's patient. I do have a few friends that know about our lifestyle so I can sit and talk to them which helps.but then it starts all over again. I think I need to find a new way of dealing with it xx
its good that you have hubby to comfort you and that you arent on your own. it really affected me, something im not used to and felt awful that night. perhaps being on my own wasnt the best idea at the time.
what does hubby do to help you?
Yeah being alone is hard. I've done that too.
He listens to everything I need to say. He will wrap me in a blanket and have all the nice treats that I may want.
Sometimes a sugar boost does help
He will run me a bubble bath and light candles and play soft music and just sit and talk to me while I'm laying there. Or sometimes we sit in silence.
When I'm in my drop my head goes into a fuzz and I get things mixed up and everything seems doom and gloom so he re words things,and makes then more clear and it usually isn't as sad as my head makes it seem.
He turns things positive. Xx
sounds like youve got a good one there! youve given me some ideas about what i should do next time, bubble bath and sugar sounds a winner
Lol self care is good. And talking helps if there is someone that you can talk too. If not give me a shout on here I'll glady sit and listen flower xx"
Thats very kind of you thank you z |
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