FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Advice needed
Advice needed
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Hi OP, you have a decent profile and pics. The one red flag for me and I think for a lot on Fab is that you cannot accommodate. Most will presume this means you are attached and will put them off. If you’re not then it might be worth adding why you can’t on your profile. V " Although it isn't a red flag for me at all as I like to ask the person and not jump to assumptions myself, I do tend to agree that alot of people won't even bother to ask the reasons and will just pass on seeing it. I know it sounds unfair and it is. I mean they just may possibly not want a stranger to their house as much as a women dosnt. I would be genuinely interested to know how much a man saying he can't accommodate on his profile impacts It, if at all. | |||
| |||
"I can tell you how to meet women on plenty of fish match etc my decree absolute was two weeks wet before I married my bestie off here. Learn to bake and cook ,put pics of your efforts on your profile on the other sites.In turn women will find you easy to talk to ,and being relaxed and confident opens doors." I already can and do, seriously not joking about following people's previous advice, kinda why my mindset is leaning more towards the negatives at the moment. | |||
" Although it isn't a red flag for me at all as I like to ask the person and not jump to assumptions myself, I do tend to agree that alot of people won't even bother to ask the reasons and will just pass on seeing it. I know it sounds unfair and it is. I mean they just may possibly not want a stranger to their house as much as a women dosnt. I would be genuinely interested to know how much a man saying he can't accommodate on his profile impacts It, if at all. " Going by thread on here it seems to impact a lot. I agree with you, I would ask why if the profile appealed apart from that. A short explanation on a profile could possibly stop people from assuming and bypassing. V | |||
"Ahh ok, didn't realize "can't accommodate," was a red flag. :/ I moved back in with my mum to save money while self studying, so not really ideal bringing anyone back with me. Although surely that's an even bigger turn off when people see that on my profile? " Hopefully not, it would help to reassure anyone interested that you’re not attached. Wishing you better luck OP x | |||
| |||
"Ahh ok, didn't realize "can't accommodate," was a red flag. :/ I moved back in with my mum to save money while self studying, so not really ideal bringing anyone back with me. Although surely that's an even bigger turn off when people see that on my profile? Hopefully not, it would help to reassure anyone interested that you’re not attached. Wishing you better luck OP x" Thanks for the advice, how does it look now? I've tried not to go to far into it.  | |||
"I like your profile and pictures, you come across quite well in both. This site is a long slog for anyone who initially starts to try and find someone to meet up with. Women, Couples or any of the others that are on here, will tell you of their own issues with the site and messages received or ignored. So you’re not alone. My advice is to first get seen, chat, cam and definitely the forums will highlight your personality and intelligence. Sooner or later you’ll be recognised by someone or a few people and then further conversation can happen in private. What’s the use of a profile that nobody sees. If you’re really interested in the scene, get to a club or social and then you get to meet a whole section of the community, not all contribute to the forums so you’ll meet new people at the venue. " Ok, not sure if I have the guts to visit a club or social by myself anymore, when it was at uni or college fair enough everyone is in the same boat. But a swingers club... Not even sure how to approach that! 
Also trying not to rinse through my savings too much as need my cash to last me through my studies. | |||
"Hi guys! first time poster, even though I've been with fab for quite a while. Sadly it's another single guy help topic, so apologies in advance to anyone feed up of these. :/ I've had a few chats, but most of these where either fake profiles, scam profiles or the person just strung me along with no intention of a meet. Over my whole time on here, I've had 1 meet and that ended up not being anything as we had conflicting interests and I'm not about to lie to someone just to get some sex. I've read through a good few of these advice & suggestions topics and I've done my best to try and follow the advice stated previously to other single guys, although it's all stuff I was doing anyway. like being respectful, friendly and not spamming random people with generic messages and dick pics (which I would consider pretty rude anyway). I'm very open to feedback, so was hoping if there's any suggestions people can make to improve on my profile, as that's half the battle there and maybe some additional first message tips too. Honestly it is pretty soul crushing, when you send out so many messages, over such a long period of time and get nothing back, I'm not exactly looking to sleep around and just want to find a few local people to be friends with and find someone that wants to be Fwb. Also I know I might get a bit of flak for this, but legitimately I feel like my skin colour is such a huge factor, not just on here, but other dating sites as well. I feel like its probably the least favourable skin colour to have, when on sites like this and even dating sites. It feels like such a huge wall to get round, when the majority of women on here and other dating sites tend to favour white, black or far-east Asian. I'm not saying people on here are racist, it's just that they don't find my shade of skin desirable, as everyone has their own type and when women are being showered in messages from loads of guys, of course they are not going to give me a chance when they have about 50 other men matching their preferred tastes. The only reason I'm coming to this conclusion is that I see all sorts of other men on here, with varying body types, but mostly black/white have much more success than any other skin colour. My brother is white, fat (not grossly fat), less adventurous/outgoing and can't even drive and yet he's had a lot more success than myself and it absolutely pains me to come to this conclusion as I'm usually a very upbeat person and gate to admit that something I can't change is what's holding me back. Anyway sorry for the rant, it's been building up for a long time and honestly feels like I've wasted my money paying for the silver sub for all the time I've been on here for. If you have read to here, thanks for your patience and any advice would be appreciated. " I don't think there's anything wrong with your profile or pics. Skin colour certainly shouldn't matter and probably isn't a factor. I'd certainly be interested based on what you've posted, if I was a woman. You're a handsome lad and your profile is good. I am aware though that women and couples are a lot more discerning than I am, and the ratios are all off on this site. So I might be missing something. I think it's probably just down to the high number of guys and low number of single women on here, combined with couples that are spoilt for choice. Also, whilst people are meeting again, a lot of people are still anxious about the situation and there's a lot of people still not meeting or who are trying to get their confidence back after a long break. Just be you. | |||
"I like your profile and pictures, you come across quite well in both. This site is a long slog for anyone who initially starts to try and find someone to meet up with. Women, Couples or any of the others that are on here, will tell you of their own issues with the site and messages received or ignored. So you’re not alone. My advice is to first get seen, chat, cam and definitely the forums will highlight your personality and intelligence. Sooner or later you’ll be recognised by someone or a few people and then further conversation can happen in private. What’s the use of a profile that nobody sees. If you’re really interested in the scene, get to a club or social and then you get to meet a whole section of the community, not all contribute to the forums so you’ll meet new people at the venue. Ok, not sure if I have the guts to visit a club or social by myself anymore, when it was at uni or college fair enough everyone is in the same boat. But a swingers club... Not even sure how to approach that!
Also trying not to rinse through my savings too much as need my cash to last me through my studies. "Eh? Maybe read that back to yourself.... You now sound very hesitant about the lifestyle and women on here will certainly sense that about you. Some will think you may have already judged them. | |||
 | |||
" Thanks for the advice, how does it look now? I've tried not to go to far into it. "Better! | |||
| |||
" Although it isn't a red flag for me at all as I like to ask the person and not jump to assumptions myself, I do tend to agree that alot of people won't even bother to ask the reasons and will just pass on seeing it. I know it sounds unfair and it is. I mean they just may possibly not want a stranger to their house as much as a women dosnt. I would be genuinely interested to know how much a man saying he can't accommodate on his profile impacts It, if at all. Going by thread on here it seems to impact a lot. I agree with you, I would ask why if the profile appealed apart from that. A short explanation on a profile could possibly stop people from assuming and bypassing. V" At least some of us can see pass it  | |||
" Ok, not sure if I have the guts to visit a club or social by myself anymore, when it was at uni or college fair enough everyone is in the same boat. But a swingers club... Not even sure how to approach that!
Also trying not to rinse through my savings too much as need my cash to last me through my studies.
Eh?
Maybe read that back to yourself....
You now sound very hesitant about the lifestyle and women on here will certainly sense that about you.
Some will think you may have already judged them. "I think we might have some miscommunication here. So these clubs,are we talking about something like a regular night out clubs that's based for swingers or something different entirely? I was looking through the club reviews and everything in my area (London), seems to be pretty much an expensive night club type of thing? Which isn't exactly what I'm looking for. If there's anything like a day time sociable thing, then that would be more manageable, just a little bit confused? | |||
"Definatly try and spend a bit of time around the forums. Great way to start chatting and interacting and may be build up a bit of confidence that way? There was a thread not long ago for people in the south east to say hello and also talk of a social get together somewhere in the middle before the year is out if poss. " Thanks for the advice, I'll take a look. A social for meeting other new people sounds good. | |||
" Ok, not sure if I have the guts to visit a club or social by myself anymore, when it was at uni or college fair enough everyone is in the same boat. But a swingers club... Not even sure how to approach that!
Also trying not to rinse through my savings too much as need my cash to last me through my studies.
Eh?
Maybe read that back to yourself....
You now sound very hesitant about the lifestyle and women on here will certainly sense that about you.
Some will think you may have already judged them.
I think we might have some miscommunication here. So these clubs,are we talking about something like a regular night out clubs that's based for swingers or something different entirely?
I was looking through the club reviews and everything in my area (London), seems to be pretty much an expensive night club type of thing? Which isn't exactly what I'm looking for. If there's anything like a day time sociable thing, then that would be more manageable, just a little bit confused?"Swingers clubs are not expensive night clubs, no. But like all things that are worthwhile, the lifestyle takes effort. We travel hundreds of miles a month to go to our favourite swinger club nights. | |||
"Definatly try and spend a bit of time around the forums. Great way to start chatting and interacting and may be build up a bit of confidence that way? There was a thread not long ago for people in the south east to say hello and also talk of a social get together somewhere in the middle before the year is out if poss. Thanks for the advice, I'll take a look. A social for meeting other new people sounds good. "I'm in a great kik group where the admins regularly arrange socials. There are a few kik groups covering your area. You don't have to go to a club to meet people in the lifestyle... But clubs are a great place to go Ms x! | |||
"Definatly try and spend a bit of time around the forums. Great way to start chatting and interacting and may be build up a bit of confidence that way? There was a thread not long ago for people in the south east to say hello and also talk of a social get together somewhere in the middle before the year is out if poss. Thanks for the advice, I'll take a look. A social for meeting other new people sounds good.
I'm in a great kik group where the admins regularly arrange socials. There are a few kik groups covering your area.
You don't have to go to a club to meet people in the lifestyle... But clubs are a great place to go
Ms x! "Oh! That sounds really good if it's possible for you to share the Kik groups with me please? | |||
| |||
