FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why is it hard to meet
Why is it hard to meet
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello to anyone who who reads this I don't know why I'm finding it so hard on this site is it that I am not interesting or I'm definitely not what anyone on here I'll find it hard to get messages back I find myself a genuine person I think I need some help or some pointers to meet I'm here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello to anyone who who reads this I don't know why I'm finding it so hard on this site is it that I am not interesting or I'm definitely not what anyone on here I'll find it hard to get messages back I find myself a genuine person I think I need some help or some pointers to meet I'm here"
It can be tricky to answer this question as I suppose it's different for everyone, so many will disagree with me. Also noone will want to say anything that could be cause upset. Having said all that my thoughts are that it's because you're a single straight male. The vast majority of people on here are same as you. That's probably why. At least you're honest though. Please don't be tempted to do what many other single men do & create a misleading profile to get attention. Just be yourself and things will happen I'm sure. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It can be tricky to answer this question as I suppose it's different for everyone, so many will disagree with me. Also noone will want to say anything that could be cause upset. Having said all that my thoughts are that it's because you're a single straight male. The vast majority of people on here are same as you. That's probably why. At least you're honest though. Please don't be tempted to do what many other single men do & create a misleading profile to get attention. Just be yourself and things will happen I'm sure.
I wouldn't mislead anyone to thinking I am something different to what I am or lie you are I just find it hard to get a reply off anyone my understand is that if you don't get a reply they do not like you and I wouldn't keep on messages them but I would like to know why it is hard for me to get a reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m like you. I’m finding it very hard to meet anyone also. Sent off lots of messages. My messages aren’t rude and I think they are polite. Sent a lady a message a couple of weeks ago saying I liked her profile etc and she just blocked me. I’m beginning to wonder is this site a cod. Looking forward to getting some pointers. |
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I hope I don’t come across as rude but my number one tip would be to improve your punctuation.
In both of your posts above you haven’t used any, so if that is an indication of any messages you send then lots of people will simply give up trying to read and decipher what you’re trying to say.
On a positive note, the fact you have body pics rather than an endless stream of dick pics will go in your favour. What seems to help for me is adding a face pic with a first message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello to anyone who who reads this I don't know why I'm finding it so hard on this site is it that I am not interesting or I'm definitely not what anyone on here I'll find it hard to get messages back I find myself a genuine person I think I need some help or some pointers to meet I'm here"
Supply and demand my dude, supply and demand.
Also cannot accommodate = married, and with there being about 8 million ‘single’ males out there it’s just not worth the potential hassle. |
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"Hello to anyone who who reads this I don't know why I'm finding it so hard on this site is it that I am not interesting or I'm definitely not what anyone on here I'll find it hard to get messages back I find myself a genuine person I think I need some help or some pointers to meet I'm here
Supply and demand my dude, supply and demand.
Also cannot accommodate = married, and with there being about 8 million ‘single’ males out there it’s just not worth the potential hassle."
In fairness he does say he’s just come out of a relationship, which I take to mean they’re still living under the same roof but no longer together. It isn’t always easy unravelling a relationship as not everyone can afford to just get another house. But as you say, probably too much hassle when there’s so much lower hanging fruit on here when it comes to single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello to anyone who who reads this I don't know why I'm finding it so hard on this site is it that I am not interesting or I'm definitely not what anyone on here I'll find it hard to get messages back I find myself a genuine person I think I need some help or some pointers to meet I'm here
Supply and demand my dude, supply and demand.
Also cannot accommodate = married, and with there being about 8 million ‘single’ males out there it’s just not worth the potential hassle.
In fairness he does say he’s just come out of a relationship, which I take to mean they’re still living under the same roof but no longer together. It isn’t always easy unravelling a relationship as not everyone can afford to just get another house. But as you say, probably too much hassle when there’s so much lower hanging fruit on here when it comes to single guys. "
Absolutely and that kind of honesty is appreciated but the potential fort hassle is still there, and probably increased if the break up was acromonious.
It's probably not fair on the OP but single women and couples get the pick of what is out there, we all have our own extra filters and the hassle filter is a popular one. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
As has been said, ultimately it is supply & demand. There are many more single male profiles on here than any other category, thus women & couples are able to be discerning & can take their time to find people who match their preferences/interests. |
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Huge number of available men means it's a buyers market. Couples and women don't need to pick anyone from here, just because they're on a swingers site doesn't mean they are gagging for it. So if a potential man is not exactly what they want, they have no need to compromise, they can just keep looking.
For some reason this needs repeating, the site guidance says that " no reply to a message means no thanks". Blocking is because so many men either keep pestering with requests/ persuasion or just outright offensive messages because they can't take no.
Get to local socials, clubs, parties and chat, far more likely to succeed. |
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"I’m like you. I’m finding it very hard to meet anyone also. Sent off lots of messages. My messages aren’t rude and I think they are polite. Sent a lady a message a couple of weeks ago saying I liked her profile etc and she just blocked me. I’m beginning to wonder is this site a cod. Looking forward to getting some pointers. "
Don't take the block as a personal attack. She has decided, for some reason, that she is not interested.
Some people try and reply, politely explaining the reason. Then they get abuse sent back by bitter single men. So some people just block anyone that they are not interested in, just to avoid abuse.
I have had plenty of meets from the site, but it has got more difficult.
Hang in there. |
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
The main factor is on fab there are literally hundreds of single males to every 1 single female or couple. (do some local searches to see)
Sadly due to covid lockdowns an even bigger influx of single males came to the site, most just looking for keyboard wanking, dreamers and fantasists with zero intention of ever meeting.
All the couples and single females we know only meet via clubs or at clubs and social events.
If you are serious about become a swinger and embracing the lifestyle then attend clubs, social events build up a reputation for been a decent guy who can perform in front of others (many can't). In time you'll get invited to private swinging parties and become a part of your local swinging community.
If your here hoping for an easy fuck that not going to happen and you would potentially have more success on Tinder or pof etc as the male / female ratios are far more in balance.
KJ |
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It's always been difficult for single men here and the pandemic of the last 18 months has stopped any chance for meeting for much of it. Now allowed, many are cautious and the very many new single men in that time means that there's tougher competition. People are still in the process of meeting their old and other friends, which they have had to wait for months to do so. It pushes newer attempts at interest further down the line or excludes them completely.
If you accept it's always been really hard work, the same factors will almost always make it harder or easier for men here. How well are they using the site and swinging clubs to sell themselves? Their profiles are always the shop window for potential partners - if they provide greater salesmanship of themselves, via the types of photos and details wanted, they'll increase their chances of gaining interest. Likewise, men who visit clubs and socials have opportunities to meet others and show themselves off to potential partners. A friendly smile and a few words is probably better than being 1 of the 'wanking dead', as they're called, by club goers. If they message others well, after careful targeting of only those people who want someone like them, their investment of effort is more likely to pay off.
But, there are no guarantees of anything in Fab. Creating realistic expectations is something that we all have control over. Likewise, the amount of hard work that we are investing in Fab.
OP, you could potentially gain lots of helpful advice from other posts from single men here who are struggling.  |
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"Huge number of available men means it's a buyers market. Couples and women don't need to pick anyone from here, just because they're on a swingers site doesn't mean they are gagging for it. So if a potential man is not exactly what they want, they have no need to compromise, they can just keep looking.
For some reason this needs repeating, the site guidance says that " no reply to a message means no thanks". Blocking is because so many men either keep pestering with requests/ persuasion or just outright offensive messages because they can't take no.
Get to local socials, clubs, parties and chat, far more likely to succeed."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find that as a result of the number of fake male accounts and time wasters there is a lot of scepticism which is understandable but not helpful for us genuine single males. I do think that the fact that it can be a free site and also the fact that you don’t need profile pics allows for the fakes. Just gotta persevere as I go through phases of lots of chat interaction and then quiet periods. I also find I get a lot of messages from males. So much so I thought I had said interested in men or something on my profile. I have noticed though since I have been more active on the site I have had more responses and chat with people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello to anyone who who reads this I don't know why I'm finding it so hard on this site is it that I am not interesting or I'm definitely not what anyone on here I'll find it hard to get messages back I find myself a genuine person I think I need some help or some pointers to meet I'm here
Supply and demand my dude, supply and demand.
Also cannot accommodate = married, and with there being about 8 million ‘single’ males out there it’s just not worth the potential hassle."
Why does not accommodate automatically mean married? I can't accommodate as I'm severely visually impaired and live with family.
Some people may live with roommates and never get the place to themselves.
Admittedly with this site tgere are a lot of liars, and people playing without their partners knowledge, but that doesn't mean there aren't innocent reasons for not accommodating and nobody should feel embarassed if they can't.
OP it may just be that the people you've messaged aren't physically attracted to you, or your message didn't stand out.
I know what I go for physically, and as the majority who message aren't my type in some way I think it's more productive to reply to those who are for me.
I'm a woman and unpopular, because people get the wrong idea about me, but I've had lots of really, incredibly positive things said about my profile.
Given I'm a single female it's more sad that I'm only messages a couple of times in 24 hours when I'm not logged in.
Always be yourself. I know I'm q decent human being, and my friends and family would vouch for that. If people can't see that it's their loss.
If I'm too ugly then I'll just have to try and accept that and I completely understand.
You'll get there one day.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Broaden your horizons a bit OP!
Maybe look at the forum section for social meets in your area or areas you can travel too - or dare I say it  a club of choice. Again those can be found in the club section and the reviews are attached ....
If searching profiles and sending messages is all you've done. I'm afraid it could be a long wait! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are a genuine, easy going and I think relatively attractive couple.
We’re new to this and we’ve been let down twice now by fantasists.
Any tips on how to filter more effectively would be appreciated.
We’re fed up with arranging socials for idiot no shows! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be just as hard for couples OP, we really struggle between sorting out the fakes, people who just want to message endlessly. We tend to just stick to clubs now, maybe try that? Good luck |
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