FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Much needed feedback please...

Much needed feedback please...

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi ladies and gents, I'm new to the site and really wanting to get involved and meet some friendly people. However, no matter what I say, no matter what I do...no one is willing to talk to me and I get instantly deleted messages or "sorry not my type". Now I can live with rejection but surely not everyone? I read profiles, I believe I have a good starting point of conversation and importantly I'm polite...

Can anyone give me some tips and advice to help secure a few chats and take it from there?

I know it's not something that just happens over night but it's also making me feel really low to the point I don't feel I interest anyone, it feels demoralising...am I boring, am I just ugly?

I'm struggling here guys, please help...I have zero self esteem.

Thanks for reading.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a fugly no bi male I would vote that you are definitely not ugly but I really can’t comment on the boring bit but I’d suggest you just continue being you and try to enjoy your time on here rather than get frustrated.

Best of luck.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple over a year ago

Exeter

I think you've joined expecting fab be like T1nder etc...it's very different.

5 weeks is nothing in terms of trying to get anywhere on here.

Guys probably out number Women 100-1 so it will be a bit of a grind, so you've got to give it a lot more time.

Wouldn't say your profile is the issue, in fact it's probably better than the majority of guys profiles on here.

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By *HICKCHOCMan over a year ago

London/Blackpool

Don't worry mate

Take your time

It took me nearly 1 year for my 1st meet, plus there was a time I felt like hot property

Now it's gone quiet for me Again :-/ good luck

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By *inkyeroticaCouple over a year ago

Ampthill

The first hurdle you’ve to overcome is the numbers. Ladies have hundreds to choose from, so that’s down to your resolve and patience. With that out of the way, a few points…

Your user name will get a lot of deletes straight away, without even opening your message.

Likewise with your profile text… I know we have to sell ourselves here but yours is a best over confident and at worst arrogant. It will put a lot of people off. Be yourself.

You’ve a clear face photo which is good, but way too many cock photos. Keep this for friends or send privately once requested. Oh, quit with the filters on your photos. Be real.

Apart from that, just be patient.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thankyou guys, you've given me some top tips and advice and I'm going to put some groundwork in to adapting my profile and keep people guessing a little. Much appreciated for taking the time out and reading...happy fabbing and good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't worry mate

Take your time

It took me nearly 1 year for my 1st meet, plus there was a time I felt like hot property

Now it's gone quiet for me Again :-/ good luck

This exactly, I had a whirlwind start on here. Just lucky I suppose, then recently had a lul which also coincided with me not really putting effort in to actively seeking meets. Back to having some interest again these past couple of weeks so yes sticking it out is the way forward, take the rough with the smooth, attend organised socials as they are great to get yourself known. And lastly don't get down if nothing is happening for now.

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By *akie32Man over a year ago

winchester

to many people join here expecting success imediatly, it doesnt work like that, its a swingers site, not instashag, you get out what you put in, no effort in, no results. its supper hard for single men as they are hugely in the majority so women and couples have a huge field to choose from, so stand out, i also have a couple profile with my gf and its hard enough for us to find meets, i only use this profile for forums and keeping intouch with old friends, as a couple we dont really use fab for meets anymore, prefering parties and socials, we have had some great meets and made good friends that way, but as a single man, altho i dont meet alone nowdays, but if i did i wouldnt bother on fab, you get more luck going out and meeting people. sorry for the bad news but its the truth, just do a forum search on the same topic and you will see similar posts asking more than once everyday, goes to show how hard it is, so dont let it get you down, get out and meet people and use fab as a way to keep in contact with people you know

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By *untime5Man over a year ago

Cornwall

I’d write more about the kind of sex you enjoy, previous experiences without being overly graphic or bragging, and lose the dick pics in public. Apparently the ladies like reading stuff.

That being said, I’ve clicked on the profiles of people with verifications from super hot profiles and theirs have been terrible in my opinion. Different things clearly work for different people.

Mostly you need a lucky break, at least three of my verifications have come from people I’ve met the same day as replying to their status.

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

There's really not much wrong with your username and bio. Maybe a bit more creative with the photos?

It really is a numbers game, always pay someone a compliment and suggest why you might be a good match.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Guys thankyou so much...some really valuable information there...I guess its a waiting game and also getting out there to socials If possible...I think I expected too much...ive changed my profile now and toned it down a little so I'm trying to be real and hopefully it works...maybe I said too much on my last one but can't help get graphic when that's exactly what it is for me when with a woman...I guess the imagination plays a big part in the whole thing too.

Cheers for the replies, much respect.

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By *sBlueWoman over a year ago

Up North

I’ve seen worse profile and you are deffinately not ugly. Maybe try going to a club?

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By *arrior PrincessWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I'd cut down on the pics more, there really is no need for any cock pics. In general, seen one seen 'em all with the exception of a few!

When you send a message make sure that you pay attention to what the woman has said in her profile.

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By *iner69erMan over a year ago

inverness

It took me 6 years to get a meet,and another 6 years on,nothing since. Your chances of getting a meet are very slim. I don't know what girls are looking for,but the likes of you and me,ain't got it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Having your kik in the bio looks desperate. Almost like you’re willing to get a message from virtually anyone who’d be willing to send one. You can share that in private after a nice convo with a woman/couple if appropriate.

Also loose the dick pics, that’s like a slap in the face for some and not everyone is a masochist.

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By *edantic SheilaWoman over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"Having your kik in the bio looks desperate. Almost like you’re willing to get a message from virtually anyone who’d be willing to send one. You can share that in private after a nice convo with a woman/couple if appropriate.

Also loose the dick pics, that’s like a slap in the face for some and not everyone is a masochist. "
Well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't take the site too seriously is my advice, tailor each message you send to the profile but expect it to be unread or deleted that way your not disappointed, as someone said your up against hundreds of guys and women get hundreds of messages so don't take rejection personally get yourself to a social event or to a club

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi OP,

You have got one of the country's best and friendliest clubs right on your doorstep - Townhouse. They do newbie nights, pub style evenings, and you will be looked after and introduced to people.

Swinging is about getting out from behind the screen and meeting real people, so I do recommend a Townhouse trip - you're a good looking young guy a I'm sure will make friends

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By *ake and ScribbleCouple over a year ago

Hampshire

Probably expectation control.

In general, women don't just randomly hook up for a shag because the have a spare hour on a Tuesday before the school run.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple over a year ago

Bexley

YOur profile is fine. The best way to get noticed and involved here is via the forums. If you want to separate yourself from most guys here, that's the easiets way to do it. Oh and also, don't litter your profile with dick pics which you haven't done!

Be yourself, not what you think other people want you to be.

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By *untime5Man over a year ago

Cornwall

"Oh and also, don't litter your profile with dick pics which you haven't done!

Be yourself, not what you think other people want you to be."

Good to see you took the advice on the dick picks

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By *lex46TV/TS over a year ago

Near Wells

Your profile is much better than 99.9% of guys that message me, I actually like it.

You come across friendly, join in on the forums, keep it cheerful and positive and visit clubs. I'm sure you will be fine soon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What can I say, thankyou so much for the comments and appreciation goes out to the great pointers you guts made to cleaning up my profile. I really do appreciate it...my next attempt is to get down to townhouse and make myself known with the other people starting off...

Cheers peeps, beginning to feel more positive about this

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