FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > ‘Back after a break’
‘Back after a break’
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wondered what people’s thoughts were on the single men who state that they’ve had a break and are now back on the site. Is it so they can pretend they used to be verified but their verifications get lost when they leave? Loads of messages we get seem to have this included?! |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Longbridge, Birmingham |
Or got bored, given how unforgiving it can be to be on here as a bloke. The first time I left, that was a contributor.
First expectation being that we’re up to something shady is a prime example of that. |
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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago
trouble most likely, or creating it :) |
"Just wondered what people’s thoughts were on the single men who state that they’ve had a break and are now back on the site. Is it so they can pretend they used to be verified but their verifications get lost when they leave? Loads of messages we get seem to have this included?! "
I've verified guys that have done this. If I remember them x
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"I take it as they probably found someone that wasn't on fab so took a break but are now single again and therefore back
Exactly this ^ I'm always jumping on and off"
Im female and come and go dependingon my relationship status .... think this is my 7th profile in 10 Yr hahahaha |
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We've known a few guys that seem to delete their profile after a few months and come straight back with a new one. Cynically, we tend to think that they either got banned for something, are trying to get round being blocked, or the wife keeps finding out.
It's especially annoying when you've had a long chat going and they re-introduce themselves but you can't look back on what they've said before as the chat's gone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've known a few guys that seem to delete their profile after a few months and come straight back with a new one. Cynically, we tend to think that they either got banned for something, are trying to get round being blocked, or the wife keeps finding out.
It's especially annoying when you've had a long chat going and they re-introduce themselves but you can't look back on what they've said before as the chat's gone."
Indeed and the very reason we avoid profiles like that.
What is stopping them from using their previous name say a lot for us anyway. |
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
For us in terms of single guys it suggests (rightly or wrongly) that they aren't here as genuine swingers committed to the lifestyle and more likely try to use fab as somewhere to try for a quick shag.
Obviously this is incredibly assumptive on our part as it will not apply to all but we have had a much better fab experience since only dealing with guys who have been here a while, are well verified and understand the swinging scene.
By avoiding those who hop on hop off it has cut down on the chancers, keyboard fantasists, picture collectors and no shows. We aren't alone in this view either.
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have occasionally hidden our profile when we were too busy with life to read messages or arrange things, and before I worked out the filter thing to stop endless waves of single guys after the wife - Griz |
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I’m back after a 2 year break.. Thought I’d found the one, but I like working outside the Uk and she liked her friends and family close by.
I chose to just hide my profile. If I’d deleted it I’d have lost the verifications, but I always questioned whether the fact it still existed was ok or not |
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"Far better to hide a profile if you are taking a break than delete it. "
I’d feel like I was hiding something if I was in a vanilla relationship.
I’d most certainly delete if fab wasn’t part of any current relationships. Can always come back, don’t see it as a big deal.
I hide it if I take a break, but still single. Delete if I wasn’t |
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I always think if they genuinely had a well verified profile previously, knowing how hard it is for single men on here they wouldn’t have deleted it. They’d have hidden it in case they wanted to return. |
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"Far better to hide a profile if you are taking a break than delete it.
I’d feel like I was hiding something if I was in a vanilla relationship.
I’d most certainly delete if fab wasn’t part of any current relationships. Can always come back, don’t see it as a big deal.
I hide it if I take a break, but still single. Delete if I wasn’t "
It wasn’t a vanilla relationship, but we had our fun outside of fab. I deleted all the filth on my phone and all my WhatsApp history with former ‘friends’. Coming back as an unverified single guy’s not an easy start. If you’re using it during a relationship then that’s a different story. |
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"I always think if they genuinely had a well verified profile previously, knowing how hard it is for single men on here they wouldn’t have deleted it. They’d have hidden it in case they wanted to return. "
What she said, although I didn’t really expect to return as a single guy  |
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"Far better to hide a profile if you are taking a break than delete it.
I’d feel like I was hiding something if I was in a vanilla relationship.
I’d most certainly delete if fab wasn’t part of any current relationships. Can always come back, don’t see it as a big deal.
I hide it if I take a break, but still single. Delete if I wasn’t
It wasn’t a vanilla relationship, but we had our fun outside of fab. I deleted all the filth on my phone and all my WhatsApp history with former ‘friends’. Coming back as an unverified single guy’s not an easy start. If you’re using it during a relationship then that’s a different story. "
Wasn’t aimed at your story in particular, more to the people saying hide it.
I only meet club people and none of them have any trouble, single guys too, but I guess it’s cos they are verified by clubs! X |
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My site supporter ran out yesterday, and as usual I'm thinking of taking a break..why?..because I have much more success in the real world, also, much as I enjoy the forums, it does seem to be getting to be a more cliquey group..saying that, I'll probably rejoin just to see some of the nonsense posted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they're just back after a break..... Why does everything have to be so suspiscious?
Exactly."
I always suspect fishyness. Nothing wrong with taking a break but
WHY return with another name ? |
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"Just wondered what people’s thoughts were on the single men who state that they’ve had a break and are now back on the site. Is it so they can pretend they used to be verified but their verifications get lost when they leave? Loads of messages we get seem to have this included?! "
Why does everyone just assume all blokes are liars on this site?
We both play separately and have seperate accounts. We took a year off fab and deleted all our old accounts, ergo had to start again.
As such if we did it, my view is anyone can do it. Yeah there are some people telling porkies pies but it's unfair to assume all on here are. Its the same with us married fellas who play solo. There's a lot of baseless assumptions that if you're a married guy playing in your own, you must be cheating. Again, yes some do but this is a swingers site.
It's such a shame fab has gone this way. |
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"Maybe they're just back after a break..... Why does everything have to be so suspiscious?
Exactly.
I always suspect fishyness. Nothing wrong with taking a break but
WHY return with another name ?"
Maybe their previous name was taken by a someone else? Maybe they feel different about their name? I've changed my name loads during the time I've been on here (although never left).
Also why is this just aimed at single guys. Poor sods can't do Right for doing wrong on here sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can’t overthink it, and it’s (obviously) not just guys that do it. Could be for any reason. I do t see that it’s relevant though, you’re here now, should be judged or appraised rather on the profile you have now, the words you write, pics you post, and messages you send. The weird thing is why they feel the need to let us know. Obviously you see more guys doing this as maybe you’re looking for them. I see lots of women doing it- the phrase “this isn’t my first rodeo” is used by a LOT of women on here returning to Fab |
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I expect like other singles on FAB, I gave love a go. When it didn't work out I cam back for the same reason everyone else is here. I would probably do the same again if I found that someone special. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't trust almost at all those that say they've returned I have my reasons, valid ones.
We would not see someone that could not accomdate as mostly cheats unless they could give a vlaid reason EG, living with mummy at the age of 40, lol but we would verify this before the meet, safer all round saves wasted time and reduces the risk of meeting liars/cheats and nasty people
Always risk assess and tell someone who you are with if you are alone female or male - take pic and share for the duration tell them it is for the safety of both, both all of you could be in pic, it will just look like a pic with long lost friends |
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"People come on the forums asking for profile advice yet their profile says "been here before so know how it works" "
I imagine it didn’t work that well for them first time round then and that’s why they gave up for a bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People come on the forums asking for profile advice yet their profile says "been here before so know how it works"
I imagine it didn’t work that well for them first time round then and that’s why they gave up for a bit "
In my view its more than that as i think most got banned - either way I dont trust them. Personal choice and it is the way we are. |
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"Maybe they're just back after a break..... Why does everything have to be so suspiscious?
Exactly.
I always suspect fishyness. Nothing wrong with taking a break but
WHY return with another name ?"
Perhaps he got coupled up with someone, so cut all ties with the swinging world, which subsequently didn’t work out? Returning to Fab ‘after a break’ could be his way of putting a brave face on his situation? This could easily apply to a solo female profile too, but as usual with the Fab forum, it’s easier to just go straight for the jugular of solo guys…….  |
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"
For us in terms of single guys it suggests (rightly or wrongly) that they aren't here as genuine swingers committed to the lifestyle and more likely try to use fab as somewhere to try for a quick shag.
Obviously this is incredibly assumptive on our part as it will not apply to all but we have had a much better fab experience since only dealing with guys who have been here a while, are well verified and understand the swinging scene.
By avoiding those who hop on hop off it has cut down on the chancers, keyboard fantasists, picture collectors and no shows. We aren't alone in this view either.
KJ"
We tend to contact single guys for a quick shag.
Not really interested I'm any form of long term friendship / relationship.
To be fair we prefer to meet the single guys at parties or clubs, shows they have made some form of effort.
It also shows single guys we, as a couple, have also made an effort to meet them.
Although we meet couples and singles most of the drama and grief is from couples, singles guys tend to come drama free.
Just our experience.
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For me I am one of those guys and I left and deleted my account and had a break for 2 years as I went into a relationship and therefore didn't want fab. That's ended so came bavk on, do very simply yes I did used to have veris but it's cool I can lice without that and enjoy being on here again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they're just back after a break..... Why does everything have to be so suspiscious?
Exactly.
I always suspect fishyness. Nothing wrong with taking a break but
WHY return with another name ?
Perhaps he got coupled up with someone, so cut all ties with the swinging world, which subsequently didn’t work out? Returning to Fab ‘after a break’ could be his way of putting a brave face on his situation? This could easily apply to a solo female profile too, but as usual with the Fab forum, it’s easier to just go straight for the jugular of solo guys……. "
Going for the jugular, I'm sure you mean others and not me.
IMO, out of every hunder that return as a new names 'been here before' I my believe 1% that is just me.
I've said it before, its not just the i'm back again lot you have to think twice about - even those with several verifications or more can turn out to be something quiet different than what they claim to be, turst me I've seen it first hand
Bottoms line. Don't be shy or put off asking probing questions and making demands in a polite way - often if they have something to hide/lie they will kick off or blank you and consider yourself lucky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stab in the dark, but I’d say it means they’re back after having a break.
"
so why the name change?
why no mention of previous is the lot most of us are on about |
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It generally means they have been a mard arse in the past. Been rejected a few times and so on..and closed their account..but soon come back..I think it would be best if they never mentioned that or put it in their account |
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"Stab in the dark, but I’d say it means they’re back after having a break.
so why the name change?
why no mention of previous is the lot most of us are on about"
Perhaps they thought of a better name.
I've been here on and off for 15 years. I mention this on my profile, but I don't go through the previous names I've had here - or explain why I've been on and off - merely that I know how it works here and am aware of the prevalence of catfish, exhibitionists, fantasist, fakes and so on.
If you have a feeling that something isn't right about a profile, pass it by. I wouldn't waste too much time trying to decipher some meaning or other from details or lack thereof.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It generally means they have been a mard arse in the past. Been rejected a few times and so on..and closed their account..but soon come back..I think it would be best if they never mentioned that or put it in their account "
Exactly and indeed that. Why mention it, why not just return quietly?? A bigger case imo of someone we would not be interested in
if we were to deete/leave and/or return, i would never mention it in our profile - may mention it talking privately and tell them who we were but never on a profile.
they could easily come back with the same name |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure why you're singling out blokes. You've only been here 7 weeks, but because you're a couple, does that mean you're automatically trustworthy?"
Not sure re "seven weeks" but the rest of your post i agree with
Never trust anyone here or IRL unless you know them really well and even then be on you guard
There was athread today where some people ment and something nasty happened and admin locked the thread and FS were telling the couple to go to the police
IMO, i think some here and not referring to anyone on this thread may think its ok to mess someone about and worse and they wont dare go to the cosp becuse of embarassment but if something nasty happens to anyone they imo have a duty of care towards others so the others do not suffer the smae plight or worse.
the other day i was asking someone questions re meet they turned nasty and incredibly has several good feedbacks saying they were nice/polite and all that stuff - sure the FB's were genniune but people can put on an act
with us, trust no one probing questions etc and if they no likely we are better off without them as are others
yes i did report the person to fs, still here i think |
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"Stab in the dark, but I’d say it means they’re back after having a break.
so why the name change?
why no mention of previous is the lot most of us are on about"
My original name was taken when I returned the 1st time so added a bit extra to it ...... also I don't accommodate because I don't want someone turning up unannounced while family are home ..... my home is a family home not a play house ..... good job the guys I meet are happy with this x |
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The sentence would make no difference to me, they may of had a partner for a while so left the site for that reason
My suggestion would be ask or ignore the message if verifications are important to you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No opinion it up each person as to how they run their profile. "
For sure it is but many people do just like here as stated by them have doubts about those that say they have returned - why say that? why not use the same user name, i douvt if robo65yxxx is going to be taken up. |
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"No opinion it up each person as to how they run their profile.
For sure it is but many people do just like here as stated by them have doubts about those that say they have returned - why say that? why not use the same user name, i douvt if robo65yxxx is going to be taken up."
I don’t see the same username as an issue at all… why would you even remember someone’s username lol.
Some people genuinely don’t care about their fab profile and more about having fun lol. I’d not think twice about deleting mine if I wasn’t single anymore and probably wouldn’t come back with “_luttylayla” if I ever did!
I’m not sure why people feel the need to say they’ve been here before- probably think people won’t take the p*as as much.
Or if people recognise their photos on different profile, just to say they are back and their pics aren’t being used by someone else.
Feel like everyones over thinking it haha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi sluttylavia
Yep, not everyone cares and you said who can remeber the names - yet those that were abused etc will recall them as i clearly recall and noted the ame of someone that flipped just becsue i asked a reasoanble question before we went to their adress.
as you know some here and other sites take the pleasure of arranging fake meets ie not give coerrects details or not turn up and worse, be nasty/rude nothing like their lying profile
i think with some, until it catches them out they don't see a proble
once bitten twice shy is the way we go even before we got the nasty message. |
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"Maybe they're just back after a break..... Why does everything have to be so suspiscious?
Exactly.
I always suspect fishyness. Nothing wrong with taking a break but
WHY return with another name ?
Perhaps he got coupled up with someone, so cut all ties with the swinging world, which subsequently didn’t work out? Returning to Fab ‘after a break’ could be his way of putting a brave face on his situation? This could easily apply to a solo female profile too, but as usual with the Fab forum, it’s easier to just go straight for the jugular of solo guys…….
Going for the jugular, I'm sure you mean others and not me.
IMO, out of every hunder that return as a new names 'been here before' I my believe 1% that is just me.
I've said it before, its not just the i'm back again lot you have to think twice about - even those with several verifications or more can turn out to be something quiet different than what they claim to be, turst me I've seen it first hand
Bottoms line. Don't be shy or put off asking probing questions and making demands in a polite way - often if they have something to hide/lie they will kick off or blank you and consider yourself lucky"
I didn’t name you specifically, I said “Fab forum”, so apologies if you took it personally 
As others have said; just hide your profile if you’re taking a break. It will sit there indefinitely until you decide to return. Possibly; people have done this though, and forgotten their password, thereby having to register a new profile, and being unable to use their old name (because it’s still registered), they have to make a new one? Just a thought……. |
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"Maybe they're just back after a break..... Why does everything have to be so suspiscious?
Exactly.
I always suspect fishyness. Nothing wrong with taking a break but
WHY return with another name ?"
Maybe they forgot their old name
There's so many logins & passwords to remember these days you can't expect people to remember them all |
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