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Bi male in an open, gay-facing, asexual relationship – a short, true story of Covid frustration

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By *x Smith OP   Man  over a year ago

East Lancs

I’m 43, I’m bi and I’ve been out since I was 18, though to many that I can’t be bothered informing/ reminding of my biness, I guess I present as gay. I’ve been in a gay-facing relationship (as they say) for over a decade, and engaged. To my parent’s, I’ve been out as long as I’ve had this relationship (minus a couple of months). I don’t mention the bi to them, let them think I’m late-out gay.

This covid period has been pretty hard for me, as it has been for many. I’ve had nobody near to me die, so I count myself lucky on that count, but haven’t we all made sacrifices, or changed our lifestyles since this time two years ago?

So my fella and I, we don’t fuck. We snuggle, spoon, smooch, and stroke, and are intimate in all other ways, but don’t get any more sexual than a dry-hump. Medication altered his sex drive (but not the blood-flow) some years ago and I’ve been satisfying myself with wanks and very occasionally, with encouragement from my partner, I’ve met other guys. Last time I looked for a sexual partner was exactly 2 years ago, between Christmas and the New Year, in a sauna in Manchester. I wasn’t successful that night.

But, I got through 2020 well enough. Following NHS guidelines pretty closely, I got no shags, no surprises there really. In 2021, from literally the first week in January, I’ve been poorly with what may have been bladder cancer, but more likely a benign internal wart that bled and caused pain when I pissed. Whatever it was, I had an operation and it was removed in May and for a while, I was on the mend.

At the beginning of August, I had a bladder infection that got in my kidney briefly, and then just when everything seemed right, I got a secondary infection in my right nut and the tubes around it, which hospitalised me briefly and took a long time to shake off with loads of pills. All told, I was ill for about 7 weeks until near the end of September. So it wasn’t the delta variant but my own health that kept me from venturing out this summer. I’m still awaiting the results of some tests from November to let me know if I’m truly in the clear.

I’ve had my third vaccination, and my partner has asked that I still be cautious and not seek new connections until we see how the ol’ omicron variant pans out. Tentatively, I’m gonna say that I’m looking for new FWBs from early March. MM, MF couples and adventurous single, ethically polyamorous M/F/T/NB people, north-west England, see my profile for more info.

It is going to be a loooooooong couple of months… gods know I’ve gone long enough since the last top, bottom or straight shag, I can get through the next couple of months.!With nearly 2 years of Covid, and 12 months since the start of the illnesses, I have a fear of a recurrence or something else will go wrong with my genitals between now and when I’m ready to meet or go to clubs around March. Two months. Deep breath. Two months.

So, here’s me. Say hi sometime.

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By *alcon43Woman  over a year ago

Paisley

Hi

You’ve been through a lot. Thanks for sharing and I know it’s not easy when you have bladder issues to talk about it. I hope you get the all clear. Sounds as if you have a very loving partner.

I hope 2022 brings you Heath and happiness. Fx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes, great post op. Sounds like me. I am gay on profile but homoflexible.

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By *x Smith OP   Man  over a year ago

East Lancs

Thanks for the replies xxx

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By *tephTV67TV/TS  over a year ago

Cheshire

A great post Op, deserves a lot more attention as you’ve told a really powerful story. I had a heart attack in June, so know what it feels like to be worried about your health.

Truly hope you find what you’re looking for on here I used to regularly go to Club Play in Blackpool. They have regular Bi nights (very popular) and extremely LGBTQI friendly, not the only club I should add. I think at a club you may find what you’re looking for.

Hope the new year is a good one for both of you xx

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By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London

Thanks for sharing, OP - tough times. Hope you're doing ok and get to enjoy yourself in 2022!

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By *x Smith OP   Man  over a year ago

East Lancs

[Removed by poster at 30/12/21 16:05:37]

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By *x Smith OP   Man  over a year ago

East Lancs

Hi StephTV67, I've been to Club Play couple of times when it was ClubSX about 3-4 years ago, I felt like a bit of a noobie in a scene that was slightly click-y but have also thought of going again with my asexual fiancé just so I don't have the look of the slightly desperate single-presenting man of indeterminate sexuality.

Hope you're on the road to full recovery too

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By *x Smith OP   Man  over a year ago

East Lancs

spelling correction

click-y to clique-y

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

All the best OP, what a journey you've been on xxx

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By *tephTV67TV/TS  over a year ago

Cheshire


"Hi StephTV67, I've been to Club Play couple of times when it was ClubSX about 3-4 years ago, I felt like a bit of a noobie in a scene that was slightly click-y but have also thought of going again with my asexual fiancé just so I don't have the look of the slightly desperate single-presenting man of indeterminate sexuality.

Hope you're on the road to full recovery too "

Thanks if you see me at Play, I’ll talk to you

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By *x Smith OP   Man  over a year ago

East Lancs

Resurrecting this topic to say, as of today, Covid caution is becoming less of an issue for me, being triple vaxxed and seeing the rates fall. I'm ready to forget the last 14 months and start meeting people again. Say hi!

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