FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How do you get verified if nobody chats with you??
How do you get verified if nobody chats with you??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm sending lots of messages to people but not even one person has replied. Now I'm thinking maybe people are reluctant to engage because I'm not verified, which begs the question how am I supposed to get people to verify me if nobody will chat with me? I'm wondering if anybody else has experienced this and how they managed to get around it? I've also got lots of videos I'd like to post but you can't post videos unless you've got a green verification tick??? Grrrr it's so frustrating someone please help!!! |
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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago
West Mids |
"Ok so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm sending lots of messages to people but not even one person has replied. Now I'm thinking maybe people are reluctant to engage because I'm not verified, which begs the question how am I supposed to get people to verify me if nobody will chat with me? I'm wondering if anybody else has experienced this and how they managed to get around it? I've also got lots of videos I'd like to post but you can't post videos unless you've got a green verification tick??? Grrrr it's so frustrating someone please help!!!"
The competition is very very stiff.
Maybe your profile hasn't appealed to anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Said your sending lots of messages, are you sending boring generic ones to everyone? People get 100s of mails per day and honestly they get boring all the hello how are you kind of messages, i start to loose the will to live  |
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"If you want to take swinging seriously, go to clubs.
You can find out about the scene and make friends at the venue."
spot on!
Visit a venue socialise and go with no expectations. Normally takes a few visits to become familiar and build some credibility. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vast majority of men are treated like dirt on here.
Don't doubt yourself too much as your experience is common
"
I wouldnt say treated like dirt am never nasty to any man unlike some who cant take rejection well, i understand its hard being male on here but wouldnt say men are treated like dirt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Message only those where YOU match their requirements and be specific and make absolute sure you have read their profile first
Do also remember , this is a competition to get noticed , us men far outnumber the ladies
J  |
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OP: have you tried searching for local verified guys? Nothing wrong with a verification that says you went for a beer - we don't take seriously verifications that blather on about performance, but do like to see that someone has proven they are who they say they are, and will venture out of the house and away from the webcam.
Also - local socials.
(Bry) |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Hi op
You've mentioned that you send loads of messages and get no response,but are these with those whom you may have something in similar interests and whilst you are a site supporter maybe additional pictures.the bio is important as much as the approach in a message that may lead anywhere keep it none sexual as sex of any kind is a bonus so find a connection arrange a social with no ties engage in the forums as it's a great way to connect with others...
Good luck pal  |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Go to socials, clubs, or even the cam rooms and ask somebody to verify you.
Make sure that messages you send are individual and appropriate to who you're sending them to.
Make sure your profile is well written, with good pictures, grammar and punctuation so it is easy-to-read.
The people who do check you out will be more likely interested and want to know about you
Also being verified is really not the holy grail, to some people it matters, to thers, it doesn't. |
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OP, looks like you've been here for quite a long time (cue: one of the pics is 2018) and still has not managed to grasp what this site is about. Why don't you delete this profile and start over? Get some fresh, appealing photos, work on your bio, have a think what you actually want from this site and go from there |
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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago
West Mids |
"Vast majority of men are treated like dirt on here.
Don't doubt yourself too much as your experience is common
"
There is a large number of single guys who get treated exactly the way they deserve. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vast majority of men are treated like dirt on here.
Don't doubt yourself too much as your experience is common
"
Cause they let themselves be treated that way !
Your still right  |
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Perhaps you could look at improving your profile. I appreciate it's a subjective matter, but if you are getting zero replies then I would consider this option.
Personally I don't need to hear guys say they are good looking or well endowed. The pictures should show this for themselves.
Women have plenty of choice on here. Good luck |
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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago
West Mids |
"Perhaps you could look at improving your profile. I appreciate it's a subjective matter, but if you are getting zero replies then I would consider this option.
Personally I don't need to hear guys say they are good looking or well endowed. The pictures should show this for themselves.
Women have plenty of choice on here. Good luck"
We agree.
Most guys who describe themselves as good looking are normally quite the opposite. |
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Why not sign up for an organised social? You'll meet plenty of people in one night, get verified, make potential contacts for the future and might even get lucky on the night.
One nights effort has got to be better than being on the site for three years and being ignored? |
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"If you want to take swinging seriously, go to clubs.
You can find out about the scene and make friends at the venue."
Absolutely agree with this if you are looking for verifications but once you start going to socials and clubs you won't need them anyway as you'll be at the very least be a social swinger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps you could look at improving your profile. I appreciate it's a subjective matter, but if you are getting zero replies then I would consider this option.
Personally I don't need to hear guys say they are good looking or well endowed. The pictures should show this for themselves.
Women have plenty of choice on here. Good luck
We agree.
Most guys who describe themselves as good looking are normally quite the opposite."
I think I’m good looking bloke
Your right doesn’t mean I am but I genuinely believe it and that’s a good thing not cocky just self assured no matter how many rejections you get on here or in real life where it matters  I still think it |
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"Said your sending lots of messages, are you sending boring generic ones to everyone? People get 100s of mails per day and honestly they get boring all the hello how are you kind of messages, i start to loose the will to live "
This is absolutely true. You can spot a generic cut and paste job a mile off. Response? Block |
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Best to go to a club and get personally verified , we don’t meet up or bother with anyone who hasn’t been verified by actual meets , as there are so so many time wasters on here who can talk the talk but not walk the walk as so to speak , you will find that people who attend clubs or socials will have more luck and fun on the swinging scene |
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"Why not sign up for an organised social? You'll meet plenty of people in one night, get verified, make potential contacts for the future and might even get lucky on the night.
One nights effort has got to be better than being on the site for three years and being ignored?"
This. A million percent |
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Although I’m not a long standing fab member, I would recommend a slightly more unassuming bio perhaps? Also, some better photos, I’m not put off by the fact you smoke, just that in your pics, you look like a smoker which does put me off! I’m trying to be diplomatic! Your profile doesn’t match the photos x |
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OP the vast majority of posts have provided your answers.
I will summarise:
Have a good profile - be descriptive in text and images. Look at other successful profiles for hints and tips.
Networking online - get involved with forums, chat rooms. Be seen. People will get to know you and your personality
Networking offline - get involved in phyiscal events, organised socials, clubs. Be seen. Be active. People will get to know you.
Swinging is all about being part of the community and being trusted within that community.
The more active you are, the bigger the network, the more you are seen, the more people will want to see you.
You can try messaging until you are blue in the face. If you are not active in the scene. You will always fall short.
Best regards Amelia. |
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By *anndelCouple
over a year ago
farnborough hants |
Having just read your profile it does seem to be telling the world that you are good looking, well endowed etc etc. From our point of view as a couple it just makes us think your quite up yourself and that immediately puts us off.
As a couple we sometimes get 150+ messages a day, we do try and reply to everyone as manners cost nothing and, we always read someone’s profile. If the profile is full of the “big I am” it’s an immediate turn off for us, especially as experience has shown there is often a pushy guy on the end of said profile.
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Ditto the advice given above, go to a club or group social to get verified
Look at the messages your sending, are they generic or personalised, check your profile, woukd it grab your attention, is there anything you can add, takeaway that would make it stand out more
Sadly men outnumber women & couples something like 100 to 1 on here so it's never gonna be easy on here for a single guy |
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Are your messages actually worth replying to? We had one that said "Hey you" and nothing else. His photo gallery was of his cock and his profile text was two lines basically saying he wanted a shag.
This is the most common type of message we get and it's an instant delete. It's just not worth replying to. |
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Truth be told I've pretty much stopped sending messages, even though I try to get them right. Harsh as it sounds as a single guy you're pretty much wasting your time fella.
As others have said going to organised socials and clubs where its not 'clicky' will do you a power of good, as long as you treat people the way you would in an average wine bar. Be friendly, smile, never pushy and be YOU.
A fella I know did a good post on this a few days ago and he's your typical tall, dark and handsome type of chap, but also a really nice guy - and the women all love him. I on the other hand am a short, bald guy and don't get the kind of attention guys crave on here - BUT as I do go to socials and do go to clubs I have a circle of friends who it's a pleasure to be around - AND I've been lucky enough to have fun on a regular basis with some of them.
Moral of the story is get out and get seen in person. If it works for me it'll work for the vast majority of men. I'm no Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but I know from the responses I get that I am successful compared to many.
.......and stay classy - no matter what! The women on here deserve it, as do their partners if it's a couple you're talking to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Moral of the story is get out and get seen in person. If it works for me it'll work for the vast majority of men. I'm no Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but I know from the responses I get that I am successful compared to many.
.......and stay classy - no matter what! The women on here deserve it, as do their partners if it's a couple you're talking to. "
What great advice! There’s no magic answer but clearly your approach works.
Other guys…. take note!
V |
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"
Moral of the story is get out and get seen in person. If it works for me it'll work for the vast majority of men. I'm no Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but I know from the responses I get that I am successful compared to many.
.......and stay classy - no matter what! The women on here deserve it, as do their partners if it's a couple you're talking to.
What great advice! There’s no magic answer but clearly your approach works.
Other guys…. take note!
V"
Ty! xxxx |
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By *al kalMan
over a year ago
london |
"If you want to take swinging seriously, go to clubs.
You can find out about the scene and make friends at the venue.spot on!
Visit a venue socialise and go with no expectations. Normally takes a few visits to become familiar and build some credibility. "
This is golden advice… |
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"Ok so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm sending lots of messages to people but not even one person has replied. Now I'm thinking maybe people are reluctant to engage because I'm not verified, which begs the question how am I supposed to get people to verify me if nobody will chat with me? I'm wondering if anybody else has experienced this and how they managed to get around it? I've also got lots of videos I'd like to post but you can't post videos unless you've got a green verification tick??? Grrrr it's so frustrating someone please help!!!"
You can't be verified by just chatting to someone via msgs...however you are just one of a very very long line of men who are having this same problem..try a club to start with |
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"I agree with the poster who suggested deleting your profile and starting afresh. People receiving your messages will wonder why you haven't been verified in over three years. "
Defianlty this^^ if we look at a profile and it says they joined even a year ago and still have no verifications then we pass them by. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m glad I’m not the only guy on here with the same issue,
I’m new to this and I’m making it up as I go along, which is very amateurish!
I think us guys wish we were Mel Gibson and know what women want lol!
My profile is lame and there’s more to me than just my cock and I too will need to look at getting out there to some of the meetings to make new experiences with beautiful people happen. |
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"I’m glad I’m not the only guy on here with the same issue,
I’m new to this and I’m making it up as I go along, which is very amateurish!
I think us guys wish we were Mel Gibson and know what women want lol!
My profile is lame and there’s more to me than just my cock and I too will need to look at getting out there to some of the meetings to make new experiences with beautiful people happen. "
If you know there's more to tou than just your cock, maybe make all the cock pics private. 
Winston |
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