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Proper Etiquette when a single male contacts a couple
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By *ovelybum OP Couple
over a year ago
Tunbridge Wells |
This blog is in no way directed at anyone in particular. We just thought we would share our experiences and feelings about when a single male contacts a couple looking for a potential date... This is meant to educational to the single males and hopefully help you have more success getting the dates you seek... First when you write an email to a couple, introduce yourself, we would like to know your name. Next make sure you address both the Husband and the Wife, nothing pisses off a husband more when you don't even acknowledge his existence. Your email should have some substance as to why you want to meet the couple and why we should meet you, Don't just say I want to fuck your wife or how hard you're going to fuck her!! Next always attach a clear face picture, not just a picture of you Dick!!! If we like your email we'll ask for full body pictures anyway... Again this blog is meant to help the single guys get passed the first step of the initial email... If any other couples or single guys have any suggestions feel free to post them here... We are all here to have fun and Great Sex not be degraded or disrespected... Happy Hunting People!!! |
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In addition to the above, just because you are chatting to the husband doesn't meen you are on for a sure thing... The amount of singles that chat to me then start trying to arrange a meet. In our case and a lot of others it's the woman who is in charge when it comes to playing..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sad thing is, the very guys you are addressing won't even read your OP as it doesn't occur to them that they are doing anything wrong and then a few weeks or months later we see whinging threads from them along the lines of 'why have I not got laid yet?'...
When I was meeting people as a single guy, I did almost exactly what you have described - specially addressing both the man and the woman, as they are letting you into their relationship for a short few hours and you have got to respect the wishes of BOTH of them.
Be interesting to see if any single guys actually post on this thread in answer....
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
as good as the advice is... it goes both ways...
we are not machines,
we are not at a couples beckon call,
we are human as well
and we do have lives outside of swinging so not always free when people decide to click their fingers....
it is as much about couples attracting the nice single guys, as it is the other way around.... because I'll let you into a secret....
the nice and popular single guys aren't the ones complaining... they are out there having fun and meets because already get and understand it..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suggested putting info like this on a sticky thread in the forum to try and cut down on the whingeing posts. Its in the site suggestions forum, add your comments to it and it may happen.
Until then we'll still have 2 or 3 whinges a day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree that this is very sensible advice.
I'd also remind all single blokes that, because of the numbers of us, it is inevitable that many messgaes we send are not read or responded too. This is nobody's fault, just reality.
Patience is a necesary virtue. |
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Completely agree Fabio...!! There was an element of sarcasm in my post, maybe too subtle!!
Although it probably helps some, i find it really condescending to be told how to speak and act to a couple or a single female (aka "The Holy Grail") My theory is be yourself and see what happens. If your a decent guy you will get the oppotunities you deserve!
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"This blog is in no way directed at anyone in particular. We just thought we would share our experiences and feelings about when a single male contacts a couple looking for a potential date... This is meant to educational to the single males and hopefully help you have more success getting the dates you seek... First when you write an email to a couple, introduce yourself,
we would like to know your name. Next
make sure you address both the
Husband and the Wife, nothing pisses
off a husband more when you don't
even acknowledge his existence. Your
email should have some substance as
to why you want to meet the couple and
why we should meet you, Don't just say
I want to fuck your wife or how hard
you're going to fuck her!! Next always
attach a clear face picture, not just a
picture of you Dick!!! If we like your
email we'll ask for full body pictures
anyway... Again this blog is meant to
help the single guys get passed the first
step of the initial email... If any other
couples or single guys have any
suggestions feel free to post them
here... We are all here to have fun and
Great Sex not be degraded or
disrespected... Happy Hunting
People!!!"
So true,never ignore us husbands,u will just get blanked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Completely agree Fabio...!! There was an element of sarcasm in my post, maybe too subtle!!
Although it probably helps some, i find it really condescending to be told how to speak and act to a couple or a single female (aka "The Holy Grail") My theory is be yourself and see what happens. If your a decent guy you will get the oppotunities you deserve!
"
Ditto!
There's also part of me that feels if someone doesn't have the communication skills, personality and innate knowledge to be able to interact with others - be they single or couple - then giving them a 'how to' guide will only result in making it harder for couples and single females to differentiate between those that are doing things off their own back - and those using an almost 'cut and paste', flow chart style approach to their messages.
There's a difference between offering a guiding hand sometimes, and giving the impression that there's a magic formula!
There isn't, never will be - and quite frankly shouldn't be either!! |
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can we have a thread telling the couples how to reply to males ?
a polite no thanks doesnt take long to write back.
or if a guy in a club says hello do you just push your nose skyward and swivel round totally blanking them ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suggested putting info like this on a sticky thread in the forum to try and cut down on the whingeing posts. Its in the site suggestions forum, add your comments to it and it may happen.
Until then we'll still have 2 or 3 whinges a day."
Only 2 or 3...?? |
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"This blog is in no way directed at anyone in particular. We just thought we would share our experiences and feelings about when a single male contacts a couple looking for a potential date... This is meant to educational to the single males and hopefully help you have more success getting the dates you seek... First when you write an email to a couple, introduce yourself, we would like to know your name. Next make sure you address both the Husband and the Wife, nothing pisses off a husband more when you don't even acknowledge his existence. Your email should have some substance as to why you want to meet the couple and why we should meet you, Don't just say I want to fuck your wife or how hard you're going to fuck her!! Next always attach a clear face picture, not just a picture of you Dick!!! If we like your email we'll ask for full body pictures anyway... Again this blog is meant to help the single guys get passed the first step of the initial email... If any other couples or single guys have any suggestions feel free to post them here... We are all here to have fun and Great Sex not be degraded or disrespected... Happy Hunting People!!!"
I'm sure you ARE genuinely trying to help, but IMO you're coming across as patronising.
There's plenty of people (men / women / cpls) who communicate well with people when contacting them. There's also plenty of people (men / women / cpls) who can't seem to string a whole sentence together in a mail.
You've posted here what I assume YOU like to see when receiving mail from single men...... Doesn't make it "the right thing" for single men to send to any couple they contact  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Completely agree Fabio...!! There was an element of sarcasm in my post, maybe too subtle!!
Although it probably helps some, i find it really condescending to be told how to speak and act to a couple or a single female (aka "The Holy Grail") My theory is be yourself and see what happens. If your a decent guy you will get the oppotunities you deserve!
Ditto!
There's also part of me that feels if someone doesn't have the communication skills, personality and innate knowledge to be able to interact with others - be they single or couple - then giving them a 'how to' guide will only result in making it harder for couples and single females to differentiate between those that are doing things off their own back - and those using an almost 'cut and paste', flow chart style approach to their messages.
There's a difference between offering a guiding hand sometimes, and giving the impression that there's a magic formula!
There isn't, never will be - and quite frankly shouldn't be either!!"
bingo!!
which was the exact thing I use to point out every time one of these "how to" guides come on.... and people use to shout me down for saying it.... I sometimes felt as if you were giving time timewaster/idiot a charter into how to deceive people... and unwittingly making it harder to work out who gets it and who doesn't...
I like it as it is now because, if the chap does what the OP says at the beginning... you understand he doesn't get it..... and you move on..
but I think my point about it going both ways is one that couples dont get and understand enough... because they sait back and wait on single guys replies to fall into lap because of the numbers..
the popular ones don't have to do that, they have already understood and probably have a great social network going on already.....
couples should be as proactive about going out there and meeting singles... and it has to be the other way round... and in all the "guides" that is the bit that is normally delightfully" left out
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are all different and we note the constant derisory attitude from some couples toward single men .
In our case , perhaps we are the exception - single guys are always just as important as couples or single girls , and we always treat them with the same respect .
Guess it must be down to the fact that there are so many single guys to couples ratio on here , but that shouldn't mean they are not respected ?
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By *ovelybum OP Couple
over a year ago
Tunbridge Wells |
This post was in no way intended to ridicule anyone... We were only hoping to help the communication process between not only couples and single guys but anyone it may apply to... We think in any scenario respect should be given to all involved!!! Again thank you for the comments! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sensible but unnecessary.
Can't wait for the one on how couples should message single guys or how women should message women. Could you not have made it generic?
The guys who put effort in already do this and it comes naturally to them. A good email and good communications nearly always leads to a good meet.
Surely seeing a shitty email means you just delete or block? Now every email you see will look good to you and you lose the opportunity to screen out the idiots early. |
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Really surprised at the reaction to the OPs original comments. It seems like the magic circle the guys who already know this is how to make fab work don't want all the other guys knowing their secret. That's why you don't get single guys offering this advice.
Even if a guy uses this advice to make their initial approach (and get a foot in the door) they will soon trip up if they are not what the couple is looking for. Lots of guys (and couples) seem nice in the first few messages but then they run out of steam and the real them shines through. So all you guys who are worried some formula will open up more competition for you, don't.
Finally, lots of single guys on here are always asking how to get on, how to make it work, what do couples want etc etc, the OP has been kind enough to offer their point of view. We appreciate that. |
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By *ovelybum OP Couple
over a year ago
Tunbridge Wells |
"Really surprised at the reaction to the OPs original comments. It seems like the magic circle the guys who already know this is how to make fab work don't want all the other guys knowing their secret. That's why you don't get single guys offering this advice.
Even if a guy uses this advice to make their initial approach (and get a foot in the door) they will soon trip up if they are not what the couple is looking for. Lots of guys (and couples) seem nice in the first few messages but then they run out of steam and the real them shines through. So all you guys who are worried some formula will open up more competition for you, don't.
Finally, lots of single guys on here are always asking how to get on, how to make it work, what do couples want etc etc, the OP has been kind enough to offer their point of view. We appreciate that."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really surprised at the reaction to the OPs original comments. It seems like the magic circle the guys who already know this is how to make fab work don't want all the other guys knowing their secret. That's why you don't get single guys offering this advice.
Even if a guy uses this advice to make their initial approach (and get a foot in the door) they will soon trip up if they are not what the couple is looking for. Lots of guys (and couples) seem nice in the first few messages but then they run out of steam and the real them shines through. So all you guys who are worried some formula will open up more competition for you, don't.
Finally, lots of single guys on here are always asking how to get on, how to make it work, what do couples want etc etc, the OP has been kind enough to offer their point of view. We appreciate that."
See there's that word 'competition' again!! Anyone who thinks that the actions of others - good or bad - is affecting them and their activities on site is going about things the wrong way as far as I'm concerned! If people can't just be themselves and focus on their own actions without using any kind of game plan or oneupmanship (or woman, or couple!) then is this the right place for them? It's not about 'league tables', 'top performers' or 'points scored' - it's about mutual fun!
And as I said before - there is no secret for any 'magic circle' to be worried about sharing. Those that get responses to messages and social or play meets do so through their own personalities and attributes - not through having gone to 'Fab Uni' and got a first class degree through hours of study and training!
Be yourself - and if that attracts others - great. If not - look at your own actions and personality - rather than try and imitate someone else! |
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"Really surprised at the reaction to the OPs original comments. It seems like the magic circle the guys who already know this is how to make fab work don't want all the other guys knowing their secret. That's why you don't get single guys offering this advice.
Even if a guy uses this advice to make their initial approach (and get a foot in the door) they will soon trip up if they are not what the couple is looking for. Lots of guys (and couples) seem nice in the first few messages but then they run out of steam and the real them shines through. So all you guys who are worried some formula will open up more competition for you, don't.
Finally, lots of single guys on here are always asking how to get on, how to make it work, what do couples want etc etc, the OP has been kind enough to offer their point of view. We appreciate that.
See there's that word 'competition' again!! Anyone who thinks that the actions of others - good or bad - is affecting them and their activities on site is going about things the wrong way as far as I'm concerned! If people can't just be themselves and focus on their own actions without using any kind of game plan or oneupmanship (or woman, or couple!) then is this the right place for them? It's not about 'league tables', 'top performers' or 'points scored' - it's about mutual fun!
And as I said before - there is no secret for any 'magic circle' to be worried about sharing. Those that get responses to messages and social or play meets do so through their own personalities and attributes - not through having gone to 'Fab Uni' and got a first class degree through hours of study and training!
Be yourself - and if that attracts others - great. If not - look at your own actions and personality - rather than try and imitate someone else!"
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
"can we have a thread telling the couples how to reply to males ?
a polite no thanks doesnt take long to write back.
or if a guy in a club says hello do you just push your nose skyward and swivel round totally blanking them ?
"
A single guy in a club that can actually speak ?!?!? I'M speechless 
N |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am here to enjoy myself and be myself.
The day I start altering my own behaviour and tactics to tick other peoples boxes is the day to give up.
I am just me and accept that some people might like me and the others won't.
I don't get things right all the time and on the other hand, I get things right sometimes and don't even know it.
There really is no written formula that works for all. We can only rely on what works for us (just as you are doing).
Communication matters, but that is a two way street. I want as much back from the couple as they want from me.
Profiles that are written in 'what hoops we expect you to jump through' style have me reaching right for the 'click back' button. (I haven't read the OPs profile, so am unaware of its content and as such that is a general comment)
You have a wife, maybe an attractive wife, who you like to share and who enjoys having sex and socio-sexual relations with other males.
You are not holding the key to life.
So yes, as with all people irrespective of their situation, you are assured of a positive, polite and respectful approach from me, but as for the do's and the don'ts, I think that guys themselves need to do what they are comfortable with.
If that falls short of your expectations then sadly it is up to them to realise that their approach isn't working and to adopt another one.
I'm sorry if any of the above sounds arrogant or insulting or disrespectful as that is not the intent but as a lone male on here I found the post to be more patronising than it was helpful. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"If I was a man with any nouse I would feel very patronised now."
which is the irony of the thread....
the very people who most likely get and understand it, are the very people who are most likely to be turned off by the above |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose I just have the attitude that all groups should have etiquette , personally I cant stand much of the couples posting threads on forums about single guys, what we are, what we are supposed to do...etcetcetc, when many are just as bad as the group they are targeting in question.Amazingly there are couples that meet guys based on some direct contact like "I wanna fuck u","I wanna fuck ur wife"- theres too many variables on how to get meets,how to achieve more meets..some are as basic as having a cock shot on ur profile...of course....according to many forum postings its not the desired thing couples n fems want to see...
and being perfectly honest,I think I could give a good guide to many couples.
respect should go 2 ways, 3ways etc in which ever way it comes across via the site |
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"This blog is in no way directed at anyone in particular. We just thought we would share our experiences and feelings about when a single male contacts a couple looking for a potential date... This is meant to educational to the single males and hopefully help you have more success getting the dates you seek... First when you write an email to a couple, introduce yourself, we would like to know your name. Next make sure you address both the Husband and the Wife, nothing pisses off a husband more when you don't even acknowledge his existence. Your email should have some substance as to why you want to meet the couple and why we should meet you, Don't just say I want to fuck your wife or how hard you're going to fuck her!! Next always attach a clear face picture, not just a picture of you Dick!!! If we like your email we'll ask for full body pictures anyway... Again this blog is meant to help the single guys get passed the first step of the initial email... If any other couples or single guys have any suggestions feel free to post them here... We are all here to have fun and Great Sex not be degraded or disrespected... Happy Hunting People!!!
I'm sure you ARE genuinely trying to help, but IMO you're coming across as patronising.
There's plenty of people (men / women / cpls) who communicate well with people when contacting them. There's also plenty of people (men / women / cpls) who can't seem to string a whole sentence together in a mail.
You've posted here what I assume YOU like to see when receiving mail from single men...... Doesn't make it "the right thing" for single men to send to any couple they contact "
Couldn't agree more: comes across very patronising and condescending. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"can we have a thread telling the couples how to reply to males ?
a polite no thanks doesnt take long to write back.
or if a guy in a club says hello do you just push your nose skyward and swivel round totally blanking them ?
"
I have had rude messages from couples. Some, not all, think they are the high and mighty and should be bowed down to. Can't comment on any couples on this thread, just others from my experience.
If couples are rude and condescending to the supposedly 'elusive bi female' then blokes have no chance. |
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"Really surprised at the reaction to the OPs original comments. It seems like the magic circle the guys who already know this is how to make fab work don't want all the other guys knowing their secret. That's why you don't get single guys offering this advice.
Even if a guy uses this advice to make their initial approach (and get a foot in the door) they will soon trip up if they are not what the couple is looking for. Lots of guys (and couples) seem nice in the first few messages but then they run out of steam and the real them shines through. So all you guys who are worried some formula will open up more competition for you, don't.
Finally, lots of single guys on here are always asking how to get on, how to make it work, what do couples want etc etc, the OP has been kind enough to offer their point of view. We appreciate that.
See there's that word 'competition' again!! Anyone who thinks that the actions of others - good or bad - is affecting them and their activities on site is going about things the wrong way as far as I'm concerned! If people can't just be themselves and focus on their own actions without using any kind of game plan or oneupmanship (or woman, or couple!) then is this the right place for them? It's not about 'league tables', 'top performers' or 'points scored' - it's about mutual fun!
And as I said before - there is no secret for any 'magic circle' to be worried about sharing. Those that get responses to messages and social or play meets do so through their own personalities and attributes - not through having gone to 'Fab Uni' and got a first class degree through hours of study and training!
Be yourself - and if that attracts others - great. If not - look at your own actions and personality - rather than try and imitate someone else!"
I could read your posts all day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best bit is that the author of "Proper Etiquette when a single male contacts a couple" isn't even looking for single men. I might aswell ask a lesbian for advice |
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"can we have a thread telling the couples how to reply to males ?
a polite no thanks doesnt take long to write back.
or if a guy in a club says hello do you just push your nose skyward and swivel round totally blanking them ?
"
Really glad to meet guys who can say hello at clubs - I will generally respond, even with just a smile if someone says hello. I get very frustrated the day after a club visit to get messages telling me how lovely I looked... 
But as far as the no thanks reply on here goes, the site hints and tips do warn that it's not rude not to reply. Some profiles receive loads of messages every day and it just wouldn't be feasible to reply to them all so they reply to the one's they are interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
all i can say is thank god im doing something right . i have had some great meets on this site with both couples and single fems and never had a bad meet yet so im rather happy and i always show manners where there needed and im always well dressed even if its casual and definately never turn up smelling other then pleasent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"as good as the advice is... it goes both ways...
we are not machines,
we are not at a couples beckon call,
we are human as well
and we do have lives outside of swinging so not always free when people decide to click their fingers....
it is as much about couples attracting the nice single guys, as it is the other way around.... because I'll let you into a secret....
the nice and popular single guys aren't the ones complaining... they are out there having fun and meets because already get and understand it....."
Fabio so true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"as good as the advice is... it goes both ways...
we are not machines,
we are not at a couples beckon call,
we are human as well
and we do have lives outside of swinging so not always free when people decide to click their fingers....
it is as much about couples attracting the nice single guys, as it is the other way around.... because I'll let you into a secret....
the nice and popular single guys aren't the ones complaining... they are out there having fun and meets because already get and understand it....."
|
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"snipped in places...
This blog is in no way directed at anyone in particular. We just thought we would share our experiences and feelings about when a single male contacts a couple looking for a potential date...!"
Damn. Now my USP is known by all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If we're having cue cards to aid dialogue can we have some thumbs up and thumbs down cards for use at clubs as well, and a 'fuck off' one for the really persistent please 
Wolf
"
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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago
Midlothian |
I'm (fem)not giving advise only saying:cpls+singles who clearly read our profile as it shows in their msg to us are the ones we reply + chat to + had some fantastic meets with.
We do send no thank you msgs to friendly ppl giving the reason why!more often than not they missed some bits of our profile:I
smoke(considerate of course)+ they wont meet smokers,not verified etc
We respect all who respect us,very simple really.
Happy swinging everybody |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't understand this place at times
Exhibit A:
A single guy post a "I've been here 23 seconds and haven't died of a pussy overdose, what am I doing wrong?" thread and gets the usual advice trotted out - better profile & pics, get on chat etc.
Exhibit B:
Someone sick of saying the same stuff all the time in the above scenario collates the advice into a thread and gets slated for doing so? I mean yes if they are suggesting "say this and only this to get meets" but I don't think the op here is doing that! More pointing out that there are actually two people in a couple! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"as good as the advice is... it goes both ways...
we are not machines,
we are not at a couples beckon call,
we are human as well
and we do have lives outside of swinging so not always free when people decide to click their fingers....
it is as much about couples attracting the nice single guys, as it is the other way around.... because I'll let you into a secret....
the nice and popular single guys aren't the ones complaining... they are out there having fun and meets because already get and understand it....."
exactly the good ones do more than fine,
if anything you should be glad the useless ones dont know how bad they come accross - think about it, instead of people taking your advice and tricking you into meeting you by saying the right things that they think you want to hear, they say what they want and you immediatley know they are not someone you want to meet.
that way when someone does make the right effort and you both like them then you know they not like the rest!
when i was meeting im sure the way i went on and conducted myself along with a decent profile with nice pics done most the hard work for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Really surprised at the reaction to the OPs original comments. It seems like the magic circle the guys who already know this is how to make fab work don't want all the other guys knowing their secret. That's why you don't get single guys offering this advice.
Even if a guy uses this advice to make their initial approach (and get a foot in the door) they will soon trip up if they are not what the couple is looking for. Lots of guys (and couples) seem nice in the first few messages but then they run out of steam and the real them shines through. So all you guys who are worried some formula will open up more competition for you, don't.
Finally, lots of single guys on here are always asking how to get on, how to make it work, what do couples want etc etc, the OP has been kind enough to offer their point of view. We appreciate that."
not really they plenty of guys on here who help others when they ask for it ive helped loads on here on whats worked well for me, or stuff on their profile that i think holds them back. I dont think they are many guys who think they wont help others, well i dont as i know only myself nad myself only is the only thing thats stops me from getting meets, not the success or failures of others
but the guys whos personality or profile holds them back are usually looking for someone to give them a meet rather than taking advice on their profile and conduct, and your right about guys who may change tatic at the start once they get a few replies they usually still show their true colours before they get carried away and think your going to meet them after 3/4 replies and show what they really like, and if they pretty pervy and think its a free for all still i guarantee it will show pretty quick
any guys who seem to have regular success probs follow the same sort of rules i always did, make the most attrative profile of yourself, try to make friends when chatting rather than try to fuck them asap, be respectfull and you will find people you get on with and the meets will always take care of themselves
i must admit ive offered advice to ltos of guys on here, most dont really take it tbh , they just looking for sympathy from the forum and hoping it gets them a meet as most usually either delete their account or |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely what's attractive to one may not be to another, physically or personally. I haven't been on here that long but I am noticing a certain camaraderie between established members. Me personally have turned down a certain couple for being too blunt and not taking time to get to know me. I am more than just a dick!! All that said and back to the point anyone with half a brain on here worth meeting will know how to communicate with people, although not everyone will be attracted to them. Each to there own. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I don't understand this place at times
Exhibit A:
A single guy post a "I've been here 23 seconds and haven't died of a pussy overdose, what am I doing wrong?" thread and gets the usual advice trotted out - better profile & pics, get on chat etc.
Exhibit B:
Someone sick of saying the same stuff all the time in the above scenario collates the advice into a thread and gets slated for doing so? I mean yes if they are suggesting "say this and only this to get meets" but I don't think the op here is doing that! More pointing out that there are actually two people in a couple!"
To be fair, they are telling men how to word their mails and what to put in them. They do say they are doing it to educate males.
The men they are trying to reach probably won't be reading the forum.
Not everyone will suit what they say anyway, for instance we don't ask for pics in the first mail.
If this thread was started by a single male giving advice to the snotty couples they encounter there would have been uproar |
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Read the thread with interest. Why should swinging be any different to life in the vanilla world? That's what makes us all different. Your profile is an advert to state your prefences to give you a notion of what you are looking for. Who you contact or how proactive you are is up to you. It's not a contest to us, although accept that in a free society it maybe for others. Short of putting filters on to avoid unwanted attention ( there is also a block choice )you can pick and choose who you wish to be contacted from and who you would contact. We have all had messages that are not our cup of tea,how we deal with them is a personal choice. A contact medium like this, whether vanilla or in the lifestyle can be a very lazy way of using the scattergun approach, fire and hopefully you'll hit something. Our answer ( and it's only our take on this ) is: if you were in a social setting, face to face, how would you engage someone? Be interesting, funny, get our interest. It's how we approach contacting people...you get out what you put in, kinda applies to life I guess and not take it too seriously! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose I just have the attitude that all groups should have etiquette , personally I cant stand much of the couples posting threads on forums about single guys, what we are, what we are supposed to do...etcetcetc, when many are just as bad as the group they are targeting in question.Amazingly there are couples that meet guys based on some direct contact like "I wanna fuck u","I wanna fuck ur wife"- theres too many variables on how to get meets,how to achieve more meets..some are as basic as having a cock shot on ur profile...of course....according to many forum postings its not the desired thing couples n fems want to see...
and being perfectly honest,I think I could give a good guide to many couples.
respect should go 2 ways, 3ways etc in which ever way it comes across via the site"
How on earth can individual's post on behalf of everyone else stating what they should do and what they are looking for, when they can only be certain of what they themselves want and are looking for?
There are plenty of shit messages from shit profiles out there from people who still keep getting meets so it obviously doesn't matter to everybody. There are probably couples out there who actually prefer this kind of approach!
Perhaps some men send messages like this out to out couples with superiority complexes? Noone knows what other people are thinking and never will
M |
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"We are all different and we note the constant derisory attitude from some couples toward single men .
In our case , perhaps we are the exception - single guys are always just as important as couples or single girls , and we always treat them with the same respect .
Guess it must be down to the fact that there are so many single guys to couples ratio on here , but that shouldn't mean they are not respected ?
"
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"I don't understand this place at times
Exhibit A:
A single guy post a "I've been here 23 seconds and haven't died of a pussy overdose, what am I doing wrong?" thread and gets the usual advice trotted out - better profile & pics, get on chat etc
Exhibit B:
Someone sick of saying the same stuff all the time in the above scenario collates the advice into a thread and gets slated for doing so? I mean yes if they are suggesting "say this and only this to get meets" but I don't think the op here is doing that! More pointing out that there are actually two people in a couple!"
That's we got from the original post too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well people that only talk to one of the couple probs aint going to change that, but its not hard to address both of them in the message, infact i see it as pretty much common sense |
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I agree ..i always address both mr and mrs and never send dick pics or state im going to fuck her hard etc and i always reply to messages in a polite manner but still have had only one meet in 12 mnths  but loads of chatting!!!
Jay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree ..i always address both mr and mrs and never send dick pics or state im going to fuck her hard etc and i always reply to messages in a polite manner but still have had only one meet in 12 mnths but loads of chatting!!!
Jay "
"I agree ..i always address both mr and mrs and never send dick pics or state im going to fuck her hard etc and i always reply to messages in a polite manner but still have had only one meet in 12 mnths but loads of chatting!!!
Jay "
Time to reconsider your tactics perhaps?
 
M |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree ..i always address both mr and mrs and never send dick pics or state im going to fuck her hard etc and i always reply to messages in a polite manner but still have had only one meet in 12 mnths but loads of chatting!!!
Jay
"I agree ..i always address both mr and mrs and never send dick pics or state im going to fuck her hard etc and i always reply to messages in a polite manner but still have had only one meet in 12 mnths but loads of chatting!!!
Jay "
Time to reconsider your tactics perhaps?
M"
again its about how people play I suppose...I mainly meet cpls, just happens that way...and its mainly been group meets.Alot of the guys that I frequent (doesnt sound right does it), dont need to send mails..they get invited to things, so there is no long winded chat sessions, maybe not even communication after the meet.
I prefer my swing life a bit more active than spending too much time on one person in particular...and of course..I really dont think many cpls that I meet want extended amounts of chats about the weather and such.
Back to the OP thread, I think it was all meant in good faith..but for the majority I've spoke to outwith the forums mainly, haven't even peeked at it..in fact the only ones that I know that have peeked are the ones who have asked how did i meet someone miles away(and I dont do the chat rooms really anymore), so I dunno...maybe there are readers out there.
More likely theyd be just as annoyed reading certain stuff(maybe not the shagme threads) of a cyclic nature ever week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met couples and singles, off here, in clubs and at parties.
There's no magic formula.
I've found that 90% of my meets off here are from conversations started by the other woman/couple.
The messages I send just help pass the time and every now and then I may get an interesting response.
I must say couples are the biggest winkers on here lol |
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