FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Spotting timewasters....
Spotting timewasters....
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We are having almost nothing but trouble finding genuine folk who definitely want to meet and are in a position to do so. It was MUCH better 8 years ago. Of several red flags, here are some we have noticed. Feel free to add your own. Hopefully it helps others who are getting frustrated here...
1. No verifications, not a paid member and reluctance/refusal to get a flag.
2. Friend, face pics, move to whatsapp etc yet one excuse after another when you try to arrange a meet/social.
3. Out of the blue friends request when they have few if any photo's. Repeated requests for photos or videos.
4. Cannot accommodate yet avoid explanation.
5. Only the man talking, the female never or rarely gets involved in the chat or meet arrangements. She doesn't read last messages in a group chat, only he does (whatsapp).
6. You try to arrange a meet yet they claim they're VERY busy or meeting another when clearly logging onto FAB frequently during the same time. No meet verification appears on their profile if claiming meeting another.
7. They keep you hanging on for days, weeks or even months for an answer or reply when also frequently logging on to fab, several times a day and night.
8. You actually meet, all goes very well. They talk repeatedly of wanting to meet again asap yet unwilling/refuse to verify in return or arrange a second meet. One excuse after another every time you try to arrange something.
9. You talk of meeting and they claim they'll let you know when free. A few weeks later when you again suggest a date you get the excuse they're now meeting someone else 
10. It's always you initiating contact or suggesting dates, they never or rarely do. They state 'must Keep in contact' yet never contact you first.
11. You arrange a meet and they cancel within an hour of the time then make excuses re setting another date. You are chatting separately to both in a couple and they give completely different reasons for cancelling  (incredible but true).
12. General lack of manners and respect.
13. Waiting to arrange something or get a reply and you notice they're frequently online yet repeatedly log off within seconds of you logging in ! (seen this several times).
14. They claim VERY interested then don't log in for weeks if ever, or simply leave site.
15. False address given (been there) or refuse to answer the door !
16. ? |
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Although not a direct answer to the issues you've raised; that's why we prefer just to go to clubs. We have lots of fun, we actually meet real people and don't need to worry about the fakes or fantasists. I'm sure lots of people have successful meets; but life's too short to worry about or chase time wasters. Good luck!! |
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We would also add
- only verifications from several years ago,
- profile is short, only one or two sentences long
- only photos of one person of the couple
- female photos are of unexpected captures/unposed
- profile says can’t accommodate
- can only meet daytime (“single” guys mainly)
It’s frustrating but eventually, eventually you may find honest swingers lol |
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"Although not a direct answer to the issues you've raised; that's why we prefer just to go to clubs. We have lots of fun, we actually meet real people and don't need to worry about the fakes or fantasists. I'm sure lots of people have successful meets; but life's too short to worry about or chase time wasters. Good luck!!"
Thanks !. We have visited clubs before covid and had some degree of success (we usually got to play yet still enjoyable even if we didn't). Yet our last visit to an old favourite a few weeks ago was not so good, it was 1/2 as full as it used to be. We got chatting with a VERY sexy younger couple for a few hours (they were not there to play), yet it was mostly a line of dirty old men walking past Cherry. One even purposely arranging his towel in front of her . |
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"We would also add
- only verifications from several years ago, COVID STOPPED MANY MEETING
- profile is short, only one or two sentences long YES, NO EFFORT EQUALS NO EFFORT MEETING
- only photos of one person of the couple YES YET SOME WORRY ABOUT BEING EXPOSED
- female photos are of unexpected captures/unposed DODGY !
- profile says can’t accommodate WE SAY THAT YET CAN FOR A SELCT FEW. MANY HAVE CHILDREN AT HOME OR VERY NOSEY NEIGHBOURS.
- can only meet daytime (“single” guys mainly) AGAIN SOME HAVE CHILDREN IN THE EVENING AND WEEKEND
It’s frustrating but eventually, eventually you may find honest swingers lol"
Thanks  . All mentioned so far are red flags yet may be false positives too. The odd red flag can be outweighed by other factors such as them putting in real effort to chat and meet. |
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"This makes a great 'Don't Do' list for potential timewasters. Always better to talk about stuff like this at socials."
Yes always a risk and some are quite clever at getting through our well learned barriers to result in nothing (fantasists and pic collectors)... Socials ?, we'd love one of those with a genuine single or couple lol. Last one we had the female was unrecognisable from her photos and yet they dumped us lol |
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"Thanks !. We have visited clubs before covid and had some degree of success (we usually got to play yet still enjoyable even if we didn't). Yet our last visit to an old favourite a few weeks ago was not so good, it was 1/2 as full as it used to be. We got chatting with a VERY sexy younger couple for a few hours (they were not there to play), yet it was mostly a line of dirty old men walking past Cherry. One even purposely arranging his towel in front of her ."
Yes; I guess they can be hit or miss but the thing is the people can make it a great night; you never know who is going to turn up or what interactions might be like. We like being watched and the Mrs. likes to be groped so clubs certainly tick that box. We tend to go to Chameleons or Xtasia. I would guess most clubs also have couples only nights too; it just depends what you're looking for. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Although not a direct answer to the issues you've raised; that's why we prefer just to go to clubs. We have lots of fun, we actually meet real people and don't need to worry about the fakes or fantasists. I'm sure lots of people have successful meets; but life's too short to worry about or chase time wasters. Good luck!!"
This for me too  |
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I've had the right address given to me but been told to fxxk off and spat at by people I had chatted to for a while before arranging meet and treated bad on visit.
"We are having almost nothing but trouble finding genuine folk who definitely want to meet and are in a position to do so. It was MUCH better 8 years ago. Of several red flags, here are some we have noticed. Feel free to add your own. Hopefully it helps others who are getting frustrated here...
1. No verifications, not a paid member and reluctance/refusal to get a flag.
2. Friend, face pics, move to whatsapp etc yet one excuse after another when you try to arrange a meet/social.
3. Out of the blue friends request when they have few if any photo's. Repeated requests for photos or videos.
4. Cannot accommodate yet avoid explanation.
5. Only the man talking, the female never or rarely gets involved in the chat or meet arrangements. She doesn't read last messages in a group chat, only he does (whatsapp).
6. You try to arrange a meet yet they claim they're VERY busy or meeting another when clearly logging onto FAB frequently during the same time. No meet verification appears on their profile if claiming meeting another.
7. They keep you hanging on for days, weeks or even months for an answer or reply when also frequently logging on to fab, several times a day and night.
8. You actually meet, all goes very well. They talk repeatedly of wanting to meet again asap yet unwilling/refuse to verify in return or arrange a second meet. One excuse after another every time you try to arrange something.
9. You talk of meeting and they claim they'll let you know when free. A few weeks later when you again suggest a date you get the excuse they're now meeting someone else
10. It's always you initiating contact or suggesting dates, they never or rarely do. They state 'must Keep in contact' yet never contact you first.
11. You arrange a meet and they cancel within an hour of the time then make excuses re setting another date. You are chatting separately to both in a couple and they give completely different reasons for cancelling (incredible but true).
12. General lack of manners and respect.
13. Waiting to arrange something or get a reply and you notice they're frequently online yet repeatedly log off within seconds of you logging in ! (seen this several times).
14. They claim VERY interested then don't log in for weeks if ever, or simply leave site.
15. False address given (been there) or refuse to answer the door !
16. ?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are having almost nothing but trouble finding genuine folk who definitely want to meet and are in a position to do so. It was MUCH better 8 years ago. Of several red flags, here are some we have noticed. Feel free to add your own. Hopefully it helps others who are getting frustrated here...
1. No verifications, not a paid member and reluctance/refusal to get a flag.
2. Friend, face pics, move to whatsapp etc yet one excuse after another when you try to arrange a meet/social.
3. Out of the blue friends request when they have few if any photo's. Repeated requests for photos or videos.
4. Cannot accommodate yet avoid explanation.
5. Only the man talking, the female never or rarely gets involved in the chat or meet arrangements. She doesn't read last messages in a group chat, only he does (whatsapp).
6. You try to arrange a meet yet they claim they're VERY busy or meeting another when clearly logging onto FAB frequently during the same time. No meet verification appears on their profile if claiming meeting another.
7. They keep you hanging on for days, weeks or even months for an answer or reply when also frequently logging on to fab, several times a day and night.
8. You actually meet, all goes very well. They talk repeatedly of wanting to meet again asap yet unwilling/refuse to verify in return or arrange a second meet. One excuse after another every time you try to arrange something.
9. You talk of meeting and they claim they'll let you know when free. A few weeks later when you again suggest a date you get the excuse they're now meeting someone else
10. It's always you initiating contact or suggesting dates, they never or rarely do. They state 'must Keep in contact' yet never contact you first.
11. You arrange a meet and they cancel within an hour of the time then make excuses re setting another date. You are chatting separately to both in a couple and they give completely different reasons for cancelling (incredible but true).
12. General lack of manners and respect.
13. Waiting to arrange something or get a reply and you notice they're frequently online yet repeatedly log off within seconds of you logging in ! (seen this several times).
14. They claim VERY interested then don't log in for weeks if ever, or simply leave site.
15. False address given (been there) or refuse to answer the door !
16. ?"
16:
You can try your hardest to write the best profile bio and load up the best photographs you can find and send a genuine message stating that you’re interested but you’ll still be sunk behind a barrage of dick pics that you will be casted aside with out a second thought to if you’re just another crude “fancy a fuck” messages sent by some fuckwit single guy who is hoping to find an easy lay.
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Wow! Some of you have had horrible experiences.I've been a member on here over three years and not even a coffee date...I've been verified by photo and I've been a gold member and silver and yet no meets..any answer I get from a long message is usually short and hard to reply to. |
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Wow! Some of you have had horrible experiences.I've been a member on here over three years and not even a coffee date...I've been verified by photo and I've been a gold member and silver and yet no meets..any answer I get from a long message is usually short and hard to reply to. |
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"We are having almost nothing but trouble finding genuine folk who definitely want to meet and are in a position to do so. It was MUCH better 8 years ago. Of several red flags, here are some we have noticed. Feel free to add your own. Hopefully it helps others who are getting frustrated here...easiest way to tell is when you ask if they are definitely going to show they reply YEAH .that's it for us yeah = instant block
1. No verifications, not a paid member and reluctance/refusal to get a flag.
2. Friend, face pics, move to whatsapp etc yet one excuse after another when you try to arrange a meet/social.
3. Out of the blue friends request when they have few if any photo's. Repeated requests for photos or videos.
4. Cannot accommodate yet avoid explanation.
5. Only the man talking, the female never or rarely gets involved in the chat or meet arrangements. She doesn't read last messages in a group chat, only he does (whatsapp).
6. You try to arrange a meet yet they claim they're VERY busy or meeting another when clearly logging onto FAB frequently during the same time. No meet verification appears on their profile if claiming meeting another.
7. They keep you hanging on for days, weeks or even months for an answer or reply when also frequently logging on to fab, several times a day and night.
8. You actually meet, all goes very well. They talk repeatedly of wanting to meet again asap yet unwilling/refuse to verify in return or arrange a second meet. One excuse after another every time you try to arrange something.
9. You talk of meeting and they claim they'll let you know when free. A few weeks later when you again suggest a date you get the excuse they're now meeting someone else
10. It's always you initiating contact or suggesting dates, they never or rarely do. They state 'must Keep in contact' yet never contact you first.
11. You arrange a meet and they cancel within an hour of the time then make excuses re setting another date. You are chatting separately to both in a couple and they give completely different reasons for cancelling (incredible but true).
12. General lack of manners and respect.
13. Waiting to arrange something or get a reply and you notice they're frequently online yet repeatedly log off within seconds of you logging in ! (seen this several times).
14. They claim VERY interested then don't log in for weeks if ever, or simply leave site.
15. False address given (been there) or refuse to answer the door !
16. ?"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can try your hardest to write the best profile bio and load up the best photographs you can find and send a genuine message stating that you’re interested but you’ll still be sunk behind a barrage of dick pics that you will be casted aside with out a second thought to if you’re just another crude “fancy a fuck” messages sent by some fuckwit single guy who is hoping to find an easy lay.
"
Are you sure you're a single man? Because you sound like an "entitled" couple  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its all common sense and blocking when need to ...if everybody blocked timewasters/fakes /messer's / dreamers...then over time things get clearer
after 28 years of being on the scene these things get easier to spot and deal with ..we cannot remember the last guy to mess us around its a very rare thing now days and we like to play often ...
we never take it away from fab everything is done via here no apps no phone no email never and we stick to that ... we know every trick in the book so easy to spot ...we also listen to friends on here that we know in persons and we all often swap names of folk we blocked and why so word of mouth is a great thing to as long as you know the folk in the flesh ....
but to those who constantly get messed around ask yourself why are you such a easy target ?? there must be something you are missing for those people to consantly mess you around and have no shows |
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"I've had the right address given to me but been told to fxxk off and spat at by people I had chatted to for a while before arranging meet and treated bad on visit."
That's disgusting !!, hope you informed admin. |
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"its all common sense and blocking when need to ...if everybody blocked timewasters/fakes /messer's / dreamers...then over time things get clearer
after 28 years of being on the scene these things get easier to spot and deal with ..we cannot remember the last guy to mess us around its a very rare thing now days and we like to play often ...
we never take it away from fab everything is done via here no apps no phone no email never and we stick to that ... we know every trick in the book so easy to spot ...we also listen to friends on here that we know in persons and we all often swap names of folk we blocked and why so word of mouth is a great thing to as long as you know the folk in the flesh ....
but to those who constantly get messed around ask yourself why are you such a easy target ?? there must be something you are missing for those people to consantly mess you around and have no shows"
Our block list is so long we cant get to the end of it (too many to display). We've had great meets from here too but it is certainly much worse than it used to be. Yes friends can help yet most of ours have drifted away, one couple were approached by the couple who gave us a false address so a little knowledge sharing has occurred... |
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"Wow! Some of you have had horrible experiences.I've been a member on here over three years and not even a coffee date...I've been verified by photo and I've been a gold member and silver and yet no meets..any answer I get from a long message is usually short and hard to reply to."
I can see why |
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I'm one of the women that doesnt chat much in a whatsapp group chat.
We will always say before starting a chat that this is the case.
I don't have time for the chat/small talk and it's not a part of swinging that I enjoy beforehand.
Fave to face however I can chat for England
Mrs x |
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Whilst i agree fab isnt what it used to be, there are time wasters galore on fab now and that you are entitled to your opinions I do have to say, no one has to justify accomodation to anyone else in our eyes. You either can or you cant. None of our business why either us applicable. Also my wife.rarely does any talking on fab or in chat groups. Not her thing. That's just how it is. Dosent mean she's not invested or wanting to have fun.
We are well verified. If someone feels we are not on the up and up, then that's their issue, not ours. We play by our own rules.
Ultimetly do you yourself a solid and do what we did. Step away from fab and try socials and clubs. That's where all the real fab people are. |
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"I do have to say, no one has to justify accomodation to anyone else in our eyes. You either can or you cant. None of our business why either us applicable. UNLESS YOU'RE SCREWING AROUND BEHIND SOMEONE'S BACK AND THEY COULD BE KNOCKING ON OUR DOOR (MOSTLY SINGLES)
Also my wife.rarely does any talking on fab or in chat groups. Not her thing. That's just how it is. Dosent mean she's not invested or wanting to have fun. CHERRY IS THE SAME - YET IT WAS THE OTHER COUPLES IDEA FOR GROUP CHAT !?
We are well verified. If someone feels we are not on the up and up, then that's their issue, not ours. We play by our own rules. WE HAVE BEEN MESSED AROUND BY FOLK WITH ALL THE TICKS N WHISTLES TOO
Ultimetly do you yourself a solid and do what we did. Step away from fab and try socials and clubs. That's where all the real fab people are. WE DO WHEN WE CAN - BUT CAN'T FREQUENTLY
"
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"I'm one of the women that doesnt chat much in a whatsapp group chat.
We will always say before starting a chat that this is the case.
I don't have time for the chat/small talk and it's not a part of swinging that I enjoy beforehand.
Fave to face however I can chat for England
Mrs x"
Yes Cherry is exactly the same, good to get critical points out of the way on here then it's a face to face for us too |
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"I'm one of the women that doesnt chat much in a whatsapp group chat.
We will always say before starting a chat that this is the case.
I don't have time for the chat/small talk and it's not a part of swinging that I enjoy beforehand.
Fave to face however I can chat for England
Mrs x
Yes Cherry is exactly the same, good to get critical points out of the way on here then it's a face to face for us too "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The main thing is not to expect too much from this site. Although you should be have a reasonable expectation that someone should turn up if they say they will. I once took a hour drive with just a street name, was told to message when I got there so she could see I actually turned up, before giving her house number out, which I thought was fair enough safety wise. All was good. Tbh a social meet would be good, with a plan to do something anyway if it's a no show. Less of a let down, if you're not expecting too much. |
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"Wow! Some of you have had horrible experiences.I've been a member on here over three years and not even a coffee date...I've been verified by photo and I've been a gold member and silver and yet no meets..any answer I get from a long message is usually short and hard to reply to.
I can see why "
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"The main thing is not to expect too much from this site. Although you should be have a reasonable expectation that someone should turn up if they say they will. I once took a hour drive with just a street name, was told to message when I got there so she could see I actually turned up, before giving her house number out, which I thought was fair enough safety wise. All was good. Tbh a social meet would be good, with a plan to do something anyway if it's a no show. Less of a let down, if you're not expecting too much. "
Yes we always aim for a social first to check chemistry and accuracy of profile photos lol. We recently decided to always have a club as backup, just before a couple then cancelled on us minutes before a meet (as we were driving to theirs)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of good valid points OP, however if you’re having to chase someone for a repeat meet or a verification it doesn’t really class them as a time waster.
If that happened to us I’d just presume they weren’t that interested in us and move on.
Same if they weren’t replying to us even though they were online.
Viv |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its all common sense and blocking when need to ...if everybody blocked timewasters/fakes /messer's / dreamers...then over time things get clearer
after 28 years of being on the scene these things get easier to spot and deal with ..we cannot remember the last guy to mess us around its a very rare thing now days and we like to play often ...
we never take it away from fab everything is done via here no apps no phone no email never and we stick to that ... we know every trick in the book so easy to spot ...we also listen to friends on here that we know in persons and we all often swap names of folk we blocked and why so word of mouth is a great thing to as long as you know the folk in the flesh ....
but to those who constantly get messed around ask yourself why are you such a easy target ?? there must be something you are missing for those people to consantly mess you around and have no shows"
Why do you think those who get messed around have missed something? I get messed around. What do you suggest people are missing? |
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"Although not a direct answer to the issues you've raised; that's why we prefer just to go to clubs. We have lots of fun, we actually meet real people and don't need to worry about the fakes or fantasists. I'm sure lots of people have successful meets; but life's too short to worry about or chase time wasters. Good luck!!
This for me too "
This for us too we arrange to meet in a club, then we can still have fun or enjoy being watched even if they are a no show or the chemistry isn't there |
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