FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > not much fun all a drama.
not much fun all a drama.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys not been here long and so far not so good. Advice needed! Ok so few single guy meets where crap as expected. One even turned out to be engaged to my work mate. So thats all come out and they are over. Went to a great party had some fun with one guy met some nice people. Couple approached me (her) to meet him as turns her on. I text her a lot to make sure she really was ok. They been playing for ages and no drama. So met him and then world war three! She making up lies about me to friends. Bad mouthing me. I stood my ground and turns out she just jealous and they now on the rocks and I am now blocked and told never contact them again. What am I doing wrong lol. I think my profile comes over clear enough lol I like to be a firework but am honest and trustworthy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys not been here long and so far not so good. Advice needed! Ok so few single guy meets where crap as expected. One even turned out to be engaged to my work mate. So thats all come out and they are over. Went to a great party had some fun with one guy met some nice people. Couple approached me (her) to meet him as turns her on. I text her a lot to make sure she really was ok. They been playing for ages and no drama. So met him and then world war three! She making up lies about me to friends. Bad mouthing me. I stood my ground and turns out she just jealous and they now on the rocks and I am now blocked and told never contact them again. What am I doing wrong lol. I think my profile comes over clear enough lol I like to be a firework but am honest and trustworthy. "
Lol was Matt one of the crap ones?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry it's not going well. Are you sure it was the lady you were texting? Always better to do a ff chat then you know for sure. Maybe you're meeting people who live too close to home.
Good luck |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I am a believer if people give off negativity, they often attract it. I would be strong in your selection, sell the positive in meeting with you... & meet socially first.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry it's not going well. Are you sure it was the lady you were texting? Always better to do a ff chat then you know for sure. Maybe you're meeting people who live too close to home.
Good luck "
yes I met her face to face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a believer if people give off negativity, they often attract it. "
I share this opinion, I have long said like attracts like. And the OP's profile ooozes attitude and drama. |
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"I am a believer if people give off negativity, they often attract it.
I share this opinion, I have long said like attracts like. And the OP's profile ooozes attitude and drama."
My thoughts exactly. x |
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"Guys not been here long and so far not so good. Advice needed! Ok so few single guy meets where crap as expected. One even turned out to be engaged to my work mate. So thats all come out and they are over. Went to a great party had some fun with one guy met some nice people. Couple approached me (her) to meet him as turns her on. I text her a lot to make sure she really was ok. They been playing for ages and no drama. So met him and then world war three! She making up lies about me to friends. Bad mouthing me. I stood my ground and turns out she just jealous and they now on the rocks and I am now blocked and told never contact them again. What am I doing wrong lol. I think my profile comes over clear enough lol I like to be a firework but am honest and trustworthy. "
This lady knows your friends? How come?
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I think it's a mixture of bad luck as well as potentially a reflection on how you have selected people, or the type of people.
With experience, one's skills will become more honed and probably be less likely to repeat mistakes that one may have made before. Obviously more experience may mean more mistakes, but as long as they're learned from - learn from the positive ones too - then things should improve.
Swinging experience can take a while to mature more into how we want it to be. Sometimes what we think we want, and what we actually want, changes too.
Your profile may be a little on the light side, so you may want to reflect on what it's communicating, what it says about you and what you want. I think the message that you are fussy is clear, so that maybe could be a little more concise. I'm not your target audience, though I'd guess that others would love to know more about you, the sex that you want as well as the lovely qualities that you have to offer.
The key message is not to give up quickly, as it usually takes some time to get on top of Fab life.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Or did you change it to that not long after the meet?"
Yea changed the title in a huff it did say local fb required. So no I never said that to them.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's a mixture of bad luck as well as potentially a reflection on how you have selected people, or the type of people.
With experience, one's skills will become more honed and probably be less likely to repeat mistakes that one may have made before. Obviously more experience may mean more mistakes, but as long as they're learned from - learn from the positive ones too - then things should improve.
Swinging experience can take a while to mature more into how we want it to be. Sometimes what we think we want, and what we actually want, changes too.
Your profile may be a little on the light side, so you may want to reflect on what it's communicating, what it says about you and what you want. I think the message that you are fussy is clear, so that maybe could be a little more concise. I'm not your target audience, though I'd guess that others would love to know more about you, the sex that you want as well as the lovely qualities that you have to offer.
The key message is not to give up quickly, as it usually takes some time to get on top of Fab life.
Good luck!"
great thanks so dont put what I dont want but what I do want ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys not been here long and so far not so good. Advice needed! Ok so few single guy meets where crap as expected. One even turned out to be engaged to my work mate. So thats all come out and they are over. Went to a great party had some fun with one guy met some nice people. Couple approached me (her) to meet him as turns her on. I text her a lot to make sure she really was ok. They been playing for ages and no drama. So met him and then world war three! She making up lies about me to friends. Bad mouthing me. I stood my ground and turns out she just jealous and they now on the rocks and I am now blocked and told never contact them again. What am I doing wrong lol. I think my profile comes over clear enough lol I like to be a firework but am honest and trustworthy.
This lady knows your friends? How come? My partner in crime plus a group of us from here who I know socially too
"
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"Guys not been here long and so far not so good. Advice needed! Ok so few single guy meets where crap as expected. One even turned out to be engaged to my work mate. So thats all come out and they are over. Went to a great party had some fun with one guy met some nice people. Couple approached me (her) to meet him as turns her on. I text her a lot to make sure she really was ok. They been playing for ages and no drama. So met him and then world war three! She making up lies about me to friends. Bad mouthing me. I stood my ground and turns out she just jealous and they now on the rocks and I am now blocked and told never contact them again. What am I doing wrong lol. I think my profile comes over clear enough lol I like to be a firework but am honest and trustworthy.
This lady knows your friends? How come? My partner in crime plus a group of us from here who I know socially too
"
That's very bad luck. Hope things improve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or did you change it to that not long after the meet? Yea changed the title in a huff it did say local fb required. So no I never said that to them. "
Didn't notice that til just then, wow  |
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"Or did you change it to that not long after the meet?
Yea changed the title in a huff it did say local fb required. So no I never said that to them. "
That's what I may have thought. Anything like that said on here is going to turn ugly, lol. People are looking for friends, sex and community without the drama, so something like that which hints at competitiveness or an air of superiority or arrogance wouldn't have improved your chances, so I'm glad it's gone.
As previously said though, swinging is like most things where it's trial and error, you'll find in time that it gets easier to find the right people and make better judgements.
- Amy. x |
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Seems to me you felt uneasy about this couple from the start - you felt you had to check what she/they wanted.
In future trust that suspicion.
I no longer play with couples after some very unsettling situations. Yes single guys can get attached or clingy or possessive or stroppy. But at least you're only dealing with one person and you don't have to feel like you were part of a relationship breakdown.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys not been here long and so far not so good. Advice needed! Ok so few single guy meets where crap as expected. One even turned out to be engaged to my work mate. So thats all come out and they are over. Went to a great party had some fun with one guy met some nice people. Couple approached me (her) to meet him as turns her on. I text her a lot to make sure she really was ok. They been playing for ages and no drama. So met him and then world war three! She making up lies about me to friends. Bad mouthing me. I stood my ground and turns out she just jealous and they now on the rocks and I am now blocked and told never contact them again. What am I doing wrong lol. I think my profile comes over clear enough lol I like to be a firework but am honest and trustworthy. "
Not wishing to sound a boring old fart (but I will anyway, so....) but over many years of being in and out of the scene/lifestyle (wotevva!) the one thing I have had to learn - and often the hard way - is.... what you get out of it, is ALWAYS a reflection of what you put into it. In short, your Grannies old saying 'You reap as you sow...'
What does come over to me from your OP is that you were probably nervous when you first encountered that couple (The world war 3 one) and that could have got in the way of you spotting what should have been warning signs - they are always there no matter how much they may try and hide them, and the more you meet people in the same sort of setting, the more you get tuned in to it.
The only other thing is, even when I was swinging as a single guy, I would never meet people from 'right on my doorstep'. I know travel is difficult for some people, but there are ways around it. I always had a 'buffer zone' between me and any potential public embarrassment...
Pork  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys not been here long and so far not so good. Advice needed! Ok so few single guy meets where crap as expected. One even turned out to be engaged to my work mate. So thats all come out and they are over. Went to a great party had some fun with one guy met some nice people. Couple approached me (her) to meet him as turns her on. I text her a lot to make sure she really was ok. They been playing for ages and no drama. So met him and then world war three! She making up lies about me to friends. Bad mouthing me. I stood my ground and turns out she just jealous and they now on the rocks and I am now blocked and told never contact them again. What am I doing wrong lol. I think my profile comes over clear enough lol I like to be a firework but am honest and trustworthy.
Not wishing to sound a boring old fart (but I will anyway, so....) but over many years of being in and out of the scene/lifestyle (wotevva!) the one thing I have had to learn - and often the hard way - is.... what you get out of it, is ALWAYS a reflection of what you put into it. In short, your Grannies old saying 'You reap as you sow...'
What does come over to me from your OP is that you were probably nervous when you first encountered that couple (The world war 3 one) and that could have got in the way of you spotting what should have been warning signs - they are always there no matter how much they may try and hide them, and the more you meet people in the same sort of setting, the more you get tuned in to it.
The only other thing is, even when I was swinging as a single guy, I would never meet people from 'right on my doorstep'. I know travel is difficult for some people, but there are ways around it. I always had a 'buffer zone' between me and any potential public embarrassment...
Pork "
yea you are right because I asked both so many times if they honestly where sure . Think in the end I knew he really wanted me so I went for it. But I always knew she was not happy. Next time I will ask once and if unsure . . . Step away. Thanks ! Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys not been here long and so far not so good. Advice needed! Ok so few single guy meets where crap as expected. One even turned out to be engaged to my work mate. So thats all come out and they are over. Went to a great party had some fun with one guy met some nice people. Couple approached me (her) to meet him as turns her on. I text her a lot to make sure she really was ok. They been playing for ages and no drama. So met him and then world war three! She making up lies about me to friends. Bad mouthing me. I stood my ground and turns out she just jealous and they now on the rocks and I am now blocked and told never contact them again. What am I doing wrong lol. I think my profile comes over clear enough lol I like to be a firework but am honest and trustworthy.
Not wishing to sound a boring old fart (but I will anyway, so....) but over many years of being in and out of the scene/lifestyle (wotevva!) the one thing I have had to learn - and often the hard way - is.... what you get out of it, is ALWAYS a reflection of what you put into it. In short, your Grannies old saying 'You reap as you sow...'
What does come over to me from your OP is that you were probably nervous when you first encountered that couple (The world war 3 one) and that could have got in the way of you spotting what should have been warning signs - they are always there no matter how much they may try and hide them, and the more you meet people in the same sort of setting, the more you get tuned in to it.
The only other thing is, even when I was swinging as a single guy, I would never meet people from 'right on my doorstep'. I know travel is difficult for some people, but there are ways around it. I always had a 'buffer zone' between me and any potential public embarrassment...
Pork yea you are right because I asked both so many times if they honestly where sure . Think in the end I knew he really wanted me so I went for it. But I always knew she was not happy. Next time I will ask once and if unsure . . . Step away. Thanks ! Xxx "
Yep - same happened to me the first few times I thought I was onto an MMF with a couple. I might have fancied the arse of her - but if HE was showing even the slightest sign of not being comfortable with it in ANY way, I backed off. With 3somes, you MUST have a very good feeling for the dynamic of the situation and be prepared for it to flip in a second - and not in a nice way...  Put it down to experience and move on. That's we all have to do every time we have a bed meet... 
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