FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single guys - have you thought of quitting Fab?

Single guys - have you thought of quitting Fab?

By *ammo89 OP Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

I've underestimated the impact of the site on my mental health recently. Over time, constant message deletions and left-on-reads have got me down. Normally it wouldn't be an issue, but its been pretty continuous for a while now

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

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By *uietly_KinkyMan over a year ago

High Wycombe

"I've underestimated the impact of the site on my mental health recently. Over time, constant message deletions and left-on-reads have got me down. Normally it wouldn't be an issue, but its been pretty continuous for a while now

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

I did, these days I'm just here for the forums and the occasional nice picture. I'm not bothering trying to meet people any more.

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By *heirry84Man over a year ago

Powys

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

If it's affecting your mental health maybe the best thing to do is leave. You will always have to send out 100s of messages to get a response. Even the advice should be taken with a pinch of salt as it's subjective to that person.

What kept me on is the forums. I like talking to people and as I have way more success in person and on dating sites, my self esteem stays in tact when the messages I send are ignored. Have you tried socials? You look like a good looking guy so I'm sure you could meet someone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Literally consider leaving every day. A very limited few nice couples, but mostly ignores, instant deletes, and blocks. It does get to you after a while

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I think most men who join, give up, usually because their expectations were inaccurare and they won't invest much effort.

OP - you've recognised the potential serious issues for you and I think it could likely be better to take time out.

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By *aughtydanteMan over a year ago

Midlands Based But Travel

You have 9 public verifications so you aint doing to bad on this site.

Alot of single men got a lot less verifications.

Just like dating apps sometimes you will get lucky sometimes you won't.

If you think its affecting your mental health do what you need to do for you.

But i would lower you expectations of this site. Yes its a place to meet like minded individuals etc but no one owes you sex especially with their wife.

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By *ammo89 OP Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

"You have 9 public verifications so you aint doing to bad on this site.

Alot of single men got a lot less verifications.

Just like dating apps sometimes you will get lucky sometimes you won't.

If you think its affecting your mental health do what you need to do for you.

But i would lower you expectations of this site. Yes its a place to meet like minded individuals etc but no one owes you sex especially with their wife."

My expectations from the site weren't high, if I'm being honest. At the very least, I thought it would be a nice way to chat to some people. I certainly don't believe that anyone on here owes me anything. Hope it didn't come across that way.

Over time though, it has a big effect. More of an effect than any couple or single woman has acknowledged when this issue comes up.

But as someone else has said, the forums are more interactive

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By *uriousmusicmanMan over a year ago

Reading

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

online dating has that effect on me full stop! I tend to dip in and out which is probably why i have had a FAB profile for years and not had a single meet up lol.

It does get to you after a while though. Especially if your like me and have a filed out profile, only message women you think would be suitable and put effort into the messages. Coupled with the fact that in the real world I.E chatting to women and flirting in pubs and clubs i am pretty successful. It must just be the way i come across over text or something.

Anyway. Try to not put to much stock in it and if you cant do that and its effecting you then take a break as someone else already suggested.

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By *amLaraCroftWoman over a year ago

London

"You have 9 public verifications so you aint doing to bad on this site.

Alot of single men got a lot less verifications.

Just like dating apps sometimes you will get lucky sometimes you won't.

If you think its affecting your mental health do what you need to do for you.

But i would lower you expectations of this site. Yes its a place to meet like minded individuals etc but no one owes you sex especially with their wife.

Over time though, it has a big effect. More of an effect than any couple or single woman has acknowledged when this issue comes up.

But as someone else has said, the forums are more interactive

Personally I think it’s you’re age, location and not being able to accommodate….. these circumstances make it less likely for you as a single male to have regular sex with couples and being realistic you can’t change your circumstances over night. Getting regular sex outside of a relationship in your 30s without your own home is very difficult. Many that age are in relationships and have young kids so haven’t got time for the scene. Sorry you’re not getting what you want right now xx

Someone else mentioned you have 9 verifications….. do you try and reach out to those people again and have more regular meets with them?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know I have no chance. I've tried every which way of profile text (with advice given), photos, etc, in the past. Yes it can affect your mental health; for me it was similar to dating sites. If it is doing that I've say quit or at least take a long break.

These days Fab just passes the time and is entertaining in some ways.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

I don't know why men stay on here. It must be soul destroying. No replies will get a person down.

It's shit how many women and couples can't acknowledge that. They cry for empathy yet have none for anyone else.

Maybe stay for the forums? It can be similar with no replies- a 'Like' button for posts would make many people realise that people do read their posts.

I don't look for meets on here because similar reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

I don't know why men stay on here. It must be soul destroying. No replies will get a person down.

It's shit how many women and couples can't acknowledge that. They cry for empathy yet have none for anyone else.

Maybe stay for the forums? It can be similar with no replies- a 'Like' button for posts would make many people realise that people do read their posts.

I don't look for meets on here because similar reasons. "

xxx

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By *aughty but nice...Man over a year ago

Staffs

It can be tough something happened to me this weekend that really made me question why I'm in the whole scene nevermind just on fab.

Maybe you just deactivate your account for a while have a rest from it try and do something else.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The problem is that alot of men take it personally when they don't get responses when, sometimes it is personal (don't get me wrong) but the fact of the matter is that there are wayyyyyy more men on here than women. It would be impossible for every guy who joins to get a substantial amount of meets simply based on the maths.

But if its affecting your mental health then I would consider taking a break.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know I have no chance. I've tried every which way of profile text (with advice given), photos, etc, in the past. Yes it can affect your mental health; for me it was similar to dating sites. If it is doing that I've say quit or at least take a long break.

These days Fab just passes the time and is entertaining in some ways. "

A pessimistic attitude can also be off putting

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By *G85Woman over a year ago

Harrogate

I think it must be incredibly hard as a single male on here and I can completely see how it could be soul destroying. What I would say is what others have said you can't take it too personally. That's not an easy concept so if you can't maybe a time out is needed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

These days Fab just passes the time and is entertaining in some ways.

A pessimistic attitude can also be off putting"

Waaayy beyond pessimistic!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

These days Fab just passes the time and is entertaining in some ways.

A pessimistic attitude can also be off putting

Waaayy beyond pessimistic!

Pessimistic isn't much fun for other people on here either

We use fab for fun, and a good time. Reading statuses and the forum's full of negativity and moaning isn't sexy.

That said, everyone on here can use the site how they like, as that's why they're here. We just block or ignore anyone that doesn't match with us. It's not personal, it just makes fab a better place for us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

If fab is impacting your mental health, you're investing too much into it. It's supposed to be fun, so maybe take a break, a month say, and see if you miss it. If you do, fresh perspective. If you don't, find another hobby

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

And good luck either way!

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

I have to say mate, you’ve had 11 actual meets during the last year, so you have been doing something ‘right’, just keep doing that? Many guys have been in here longer, and have yet to have their first meet

If the site is getting you down though, don’t let it mess with your head! Take a break! You might actually find one if your previous meets gets back in touch, or even; someone new messages out of the blue! But this place is supposed to be about adding some fun to your life, and that’s alongside ‘normal’ life, not substituting it

Tip; some people read messages, then click ‘mark unread’ afterwards, so that they don’t feel obliged to reply if you see they have read your message. If a message appears unread after a week, just delete it, and move on. They may come back to you, or they may not, but stressing about whether or not they will isn’t good for you

Learn to block too. Filtering out all the profiles you don’t match locally means you can concentrate properly on those you are a potential match with

Good luck fella

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

Stay out of your sent items inbox!

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By *ilk_TrayMan over a year ago

Portsmouth

I’ve gone many months without getting a meet from here.

Don’t take it personal. Couples and women can cherry pick who they want to meet so unfortunately some guys do not get a look in.

I’d recommend socials and clubs in your area or further afield.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

These days Fab just passes the time and is entertaining in some ways.

A pessimistic attitude can also be off putting

Waaayy beyond pessimistic!

Pessimistic isn't much fun for other people on here either

We use fab for fun, and a good time. Reading statuses and the forum's full of negativity and moaning isn't sexy.

Exactly

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By *G85Woman over a year ago

Harrogate

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

Learn to block too. Filtering out all the profiles you don’t match locally means you can concentrate properly on those you are a potential match with

Good luck fella

Good advice!

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By *herryEatersCouple over a year ago

East Cheshire

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

This site is certainly worse than it was when we first joined some 8 years ago. We've had timewasters, pic collectors, misleading pics, fantasists and bad mannered folk galore. There seem to be around 3-4X more of them now. We left site for a while for the same reasons as you and Cherry now takes a back seat as she became so annoyed at the behaviour of the majority here.

Don't make this a big part of your life in any way shape or form, don't allow yourself to get upset when misled or let down. If a message is read and they are still clearly logging on the site over the next day or two, block them and delete the message. Deleted ?, block them and move on. Our block list is huge. Try clubs instead now and then, just chill there, smile, chat to a few folk...

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple over a year ago

Darlington

Fab isn't the site it was 10 years ago and I've given up trying to feed back anything. It's only going to get worse, not better.

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By *rBakerMan over a year ago

liverpool

ive got 11 days to go i dont want to renew but it becomes habitual this site the only reason for staying on the site is the friends ive made over the years thats all other than that its not that good at all lots of fakes and face book warriors and attention seekers have took over

i only use it now to see what clubs and events i want to attend actually getting meets with new people is near impossible 11 days and counting

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

Never crossed my mind,to want to quit

Between life away from the site and the site it's just something different it doesn't have a grasp on me personally.just something to bounce between chat/meet interesting like minded folk

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By *toC Thats MeWoman over a year ago

Sheffield

I find fab more just of a social tool these days. Much prefer going to clubs or an organised social and meeting others. You also then don’t have the issue of anyone wasting your time if you go to a club. Can make an night if it at least.

Delete your sent items so you aren’t focusing on if they’ve been read or deleted.

If it gets a bit overwhelming at times hide your profile. You can still interact on the forums and with friends. X

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman over a year ago

Thurrock

I've said this on many of your posts recently but most guys will find this site disappointing

It's a numbers game, you're outnumbered 100/1 if not more making it more or less impossible to get a meet, women physically can't meet the two plus times a week required every week for men to get just one meet a year

I think a time out would be good for you as your recent forum posts while understandable would have frightened off lots of people too so there's needs to be to me for the dust to settle

Or try a different approach go to clubs, social events meet people that way, most guys on here I speak to so much better in clubs especially when they commit to attending regularly and get their face known

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By *hubby CoupleCouple over a year ago

Essex

Try other platforms OP don’t put all your hope into this site

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By *ity_BoyMan over a year ago

London

The site's pretty poo for single men.

Most women and couples will parrot the advice "effort in=more meets". But that really isn't the case. It's just down to pot luck. If you're not delivering a fetish then you're probably not going to meet someone.

I'm only here to entertain myself with the wild takes in the Politics and Virus forums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes.. I've noticed this site can have a damaging effect on your mental health, especially with confidence etc.. The single women on here can pick and choose whoever they want while the single men can only have whoever replies. which is none..

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By *al kalMan over a year ago

london

If you are starting to feel that way, I think you should take some time out and distract yourself with other things. I have take breaks before and probably will again. It can have an effect on your well being for sure, especially if you have lots of other things going on in you life and headspace.

Waiting for replies and chasing up opportunities can be exhausting. As mentioned you have done alright, and had a meet some months back, better than a lot. But obv doesn’t tell us how many messages and non replies and not for us you may have received.

Personally, I don’t tend to message due to the insane traffic woman, couples receive, and tend now to make contacts at forums, venues, initially social and go from there. Once you have seen a person in the flesh you are more likely to give or receive a response I find.

And I also enjoy the forums to exchange ideas and views, and occasional some witty banter. So I too treat fabs now as just a social media platform rather than purely opportunity to hookup / match make.

So it’s a sunny day mate, get yourself outside.

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By *anyJonCouple over a year ago

Chichester

Dany and I actually met on fab, having both had singles profiles. As a single guy I found it incredibly tough at first, but probably not that different to traditional dating sites tbh (similar feelings of rejection and unread messages!). At first I probably tried too hard, but had the most “success” when I wasn’t trying. I guess it comes down to how much of your life you want to devote to it? I was all in at first, but it was only when I saw it as a something to compliment the rest of my life that I started to enjoy it and ended up meeting some lovely people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes.. I've noticed this site can have a damaging effect on your mental health, especially with confidence etc.. The single women on here can pick and choose whoever they want while the single men can only have whoever replies. which is none.. "

I have to ask. Why stay if the site is that bad? If anything in your life was so bad, you'd change it wouldn't you?

More people now complain and moan about how bad it is, how hard it is, how unfair it is. Which means those of us who use fab quite happily, now see way more negativity every day. Which isn't fun or sexy for us.

My advice for everyone using the site is:

1) If you want to use it, make the best of it. It's not perfect, but it works. It's just a different slant on f***book, twatter, or insta**am.

2) If you don't like it, leave and use another a platform.

If everyone did one of these, we'd all end up happier for it!

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By *oungJayyMan over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Short answer: yes

Reason: I guess for me as a single male, and submissive too, I quite often get knocked back when sending messages/winks etc, and I accept that, but there are stages where I think to myself "what's the point" if I'm getting nothing from this, then why bother?

But I see so many people getting what they want, and I guess it gives me hope!

Maybe one day eh?

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By *elshie69Man over a year ago

Feltham

"Literally consider leaving every day. A very limited few nice couples, but mostly ignores, instant deletes, and blocks. It does get to you after a while "

I feel your pain

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

Nope….. but if I go in with no expectations, then that is the floor and everything from there is only up!!

I do wonder sometimes what people think they are owed just for being on the site… it sometimes feels like there is an entitlement … the people here are not a service!

There is a lack of pragmatism here which I think people forget, there are going to be people here that were never going to want you regardless, if rejection is that much of an ordeal then swinging (and any dating) is not for you…

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By *sBlueWoman over a year ago

Up North

It’s just as hard for single women on here

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By *hagTonightMan over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 18/04/22 13:05:39]

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By *hagTonightMan over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

No I havent, instead I take very long breaks from the the searching and messaging side of it and instead I use the forum, it is comedy gold

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

We were having this conversation in a club over the last weekend…. And I think the difference came down to mindset in how people use the site…

Do you use the site just for getting meets … or do you use it to network… yes there is a huge difference!!

The site is fantastic in what it does, but it’s not the be all and end all! It’s part of a bigger picture in which this is just one piece of a jigsaw… using it on it’s own isn’t for me healthy, using it in conjunction with going to clubs.. or going to socials… and seeing the bigger picture is!

It’s a mindset thing…… and what people see as success! If I make one more contact than I had before, that’s success

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By *KBucks100Man over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Very difficult on here as a single guy. Probably won’t renew

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

OP lots of single guys, and others, leave. They come back saying "been here before, know how it works".

And often proceed to prove that they do not.

The fact that online strangers can affect one's mental health is not good.

I'd suggest it may be a symptom of some other mental state going on in one's life, and a trip to the GP is in order.

Also a lot of people think this is a sex site. And they are wrong

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"The site is fantastic in what it does, but it’s not the be all and end all! It’s part of a bigger picture in which this is just one piece of a jigsaw… using it on it’s own isn’t for me healthy, using it in conjunction with going to clubs.. or going to socials…

Plus having friends in real life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You have lots of veris so it’s not like your completely being ignored….. you have to think of the ratio of men to women on this site and not expect anything then anything is a bonus…. Some women get 20+ messages when online and just don’t have the time to read everyone and reply, don’t take it personal your a good looking guy and I’m sure with patience will live out your fantasies x

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

All this angst for a fuck.

Send a message, then walk away. Why anybody keeps checking to find out what's happened to it and clings to the hope of a message in their inbox is beyond me.

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By *nlyfun3Woman over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

OP you have a good profile. It's just the luck of messaging someone local enough to you that's looking for similar. Try clubs

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By *dysseusukMan over a year ago

Chelmsford

If Fab is affecting your mental health, then i would worry that you're hoping, even subconciously, that the site will fill a gap in other areas of your life. I think we should only see Fab as something extra, a little bit of fun, escapism from the day to day, and not take the scene too seriously. I'd suggest take a deep look at your everyday life first, find a balance of pleasure and purpose there as the foundation for your wellbeing. You'll take Fab, the best and worst of it in your stride then.

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By *ammo89 OP Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

"All this angst for a fuck.

Send a message, then walk away. Why anybody keeps checking to find out what's happened to it and clings to the hope of a message in their inbox is beyond me.

Okay, so its not just "for a fuck", I joined fab for social reasons as well - wanted to meet and chat to new people in community thats interesting and open about things. What an unfair assumption.

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By *ustamanMan over a year ago

weymouth

Changed my approach to it, if a meet happens woohoo but as is more likely not then I no longer feel it's personal

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple over a year ago

Exeter

Really think if being on here really gets someone down or stresses them out that it's probably best to leave.

Just go to clubs instead.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have to ask. Why stay if the site is that bad? If anything in your life was so bad, you'd change it wouldn't you?

My advice for everyone using the site is:

1) If you want to use it, make the best of it. It's not perfect, but it works. It's just a different slant on f***book, twatter, or insta**am.

2) If you don't like it, leave and use another a platform.

If everyone did one of these, we'd all end up happier for it!

To be clear, that's not a dig at anyone. If you're feeling affected by something, it's often best to take a step back and assess. Detachment is really important sometimes to get clear perspective.

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By *reamblueMan over a year ago

London

"You have 9 public verifications so you aint doing to bad on this site.

Alot of single men got a lot less verifications.

Just like dating apps sometimes you will get lucky sometimes you won't.

If you think its affecting your mental health do what you need to do for you.

But i would lower you expectations of this site. Yes its a place to meet like minded individuals etc but no one owes you sex especially with their wife."

This. If anything, you should be giving advice to others

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"All this angst for a fuck.

Send a message, then walk away. Why anybody keeps checking to find out what's happened to it and clings to the hope of a message in their inbox is beyond me.

Okay, so its not just "for a fuck", I joined fab for social reasons as well - wanted to meet and chat to new people in community thats interesting and open about things. What an unfair assumption.

If the social side is so important to you then what are you doing to help that?… are you going to clubs? Are you going to any of multitude of socials all across the country?

If not, why not?

I think they might have been blunt, but I don’t think they are necessarily wrong…..

I don’t know why people agonise over messages… and again it’s a mindset thing. If you go in with the attitude that every answer is no until told otherwise, then you can’t get disappointed

Sometimes you have to be able to help yourself to help yourself, if the rejection or the wondering over messages is affecting your mental health… then walk away!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Every day

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By *orinmani89Man over a year ago

Mansfield

some womens text me back some don't but I think best way to date is to go in swingers clubs is different when you send a text message or when you start a conversation with someone face to face, of course if you are not able to have a conversation they will ignore you

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By *ammo89 OP Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

"some womens text me back some don't but I think best way to date is to go in swingers clubs is different when you send a text message or when you start a conversation with someone face to face, of course if you are not able to have a conversation they will ignore you

I've been keen to visit a club for a while now. Unfortunately there isn't a club near me (Aberdeen). Closest one is Edinburgh and Glasgow, but will need to arrange a trip to one soon

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

Learn to block too. Filtering out all the profiles you don’t match locally means you can concentrate properly on those you are a potential match with

Good luck fella

Good advice! "

Thank you!

And stay out of the clubs as a single guy; that way true madness lies…….

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By *ickdasterdly51Man over a year ago

Lingfield

I've been keen to visit a club for a while now. Unfortunately there isn't a club near me (Aberdeen). Closest one is Edinburgh and Glasgow, but will need to arrange a trip to one soon"

You've had nine published verifications in less than a year, that's really impressive! What do you want from this site? You seem like a nice guy and still young, if this place is causing you mental health issues then wouldn't you be better off looking for a steady girlfriend who could give you love, affection and maybe a decent but vanilla sex life. You won't make true friends on here, they'll use you for their gratification and then drop you when it suits them. I think you deserve better. Good luck and I hope you find happiness.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Free advice is worth what you pay for it, but as a single guy also the best thing I done after joining was quickly realising how unbalanced the site is against single guys. (100 to 1 or something)

I now take it for as it is, I never message first, so many profiles say:

No single guys

Single guys we will find you

Single guys stop messaging

Etc, I just do my own thing and reply if messaged.

To be honest I get much more interaction and socials from other dating apps so just use this alongside them.

It's not a reflection of real life on Fab!

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By *ornyone30Man over a year ago

ABERDEEN

There is a social meeting every month or so in Aberdeen. Details of this can be found in the scottish forum. Maybe get out and meet some folk socially with no expectations and see what comes from that.

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By *uartermasterMan over a year ago

Birmingham

I suppose it must depend on why you’re in Fab, and what your motivation is. Anyone focused on chasing easy sex is in the wrong place. If you’re here to engage with the swinging community, to learn, or to simply interact with people of like minds, then there shouldn’t be a problem.

I learned about Fab from a friend I was already seeing, and I certainly wasn’t here to ‘find a shag’. Real life changed my reasons for being here, and having contact with a few friends was worth more than chasing veris or putting notches on the bedpost.

Honestly, I’m happy to polish up my profile every now and again, to be completely honest, and to limit my responses to messages and winks from others, or to simply being nice if someone is having a hard time.

About the only irritant I’ve had is age restrictions. I’ve got caught out a few times when chatting to someone new until a birthday comes along, and suddenly not being able to message because I didn’t rush my friend requests.

If you lower your expectations and maybe throw in a couple of risky interests, you may be surprised by what you find. Anyway, good things come, etc.

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By *moothGrooveWoman over a year ago

Durham

For a profile that's had 9 meets in the last 11 months, I'd say you're having a pretty high success rate!!

It can be difficult for everyone on fab, and you do have to be quite emotionally resilient sometimes. If the balance of pleasure to pain shifts then it's good to take a break I think.

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By *arialoueWoman over a year ago

bradford

Im not a single guy but the mental health issues that come to light either on here or on other dating sites with the rejection i seem to get after ive met someone n thort we clicked n was a successful meet has made me give up on meeting ppl, i just come on here for the forums now,

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By *unner6969Man over a year ago

Herts

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

Yes, called it a day a while ago after many years of fun pretty well dried up. Came back - but meeting opportunities because of change of job will be rare, so not pursuing anything at the moment. Usually a site supporter but not until I get active again.

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By *o new WinksMan over a year ago

BSE

I think that sometimes people place to much importance on meeting on here.

I am never "actively looking" and am relaxed about chatting with people.

I think my lack of urgency means my respondents are more relaxed. I have met quite a lot of people as a result and those I haven't, haven't bothered me.

Laid back is the way to go.

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By *di086Man over a year ago

Barnsley

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

Good that I am not the only one ehh seems womens ladies here are just to pump their egos or they already have their list bubble and won't bother to accept anybody anymore, so I do not look for anything just seeing forum, watch some pictures.

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

If you keep going down the same road you'll never get to your destination.

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

Not much... Someone will either like the look of you or not!

It can be the same for us women, the way we get spoken to by men can be very disheartening.

But you seem to doing ok with your veris!

Location can play a big part... If you were in my part of the world I would probably agree to a social

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get a grip of yourself man, it's a website !

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By *amekeeper82Man over a year ago

Alton

I think that every day mate I've spent the day trying to find a ok me fun and all I get is deleted ignored it's knocked me for six .

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By *G85Woman over a year ago

Harrogate

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

Dont agree with that comment about women at all mate! Yeah it can be hard and women can be choosey because of the ratio to men on here but that doesn't mean we are here for an ego boost or have lists.... if thats how you're coming across maybe thats why you are struggling!

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By *hetalkingstoveMan over a year ago

London

Fabs should not be such a big part of your sex life that it can get you down to that degree.

It's just one website. There are loads of other ways to meet people.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple over a year ago

Exeter

[Removed by poster at 18/04/22 20:21:26]

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple over a year ago

Exeter

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

Totally agree. One of the many reasons guys get nowhere on here and reaks of entitlement.

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By *ammo89 OP Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

Thanks for all the feedback guys. It's good to know when you're not the only one feeling this way, and good advice all round

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's the same for all single guys ,I'm thinking of going to a social or club to see if it changes, I'm much better in real life ,if that doesn't work then it's back to breaking hearts on dating sites, this site is very clicky,

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By *itten 999Woman over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 18/04/22 21:19:06]

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By *itten 999Woman over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 18/04/22 21:14:22]

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By *G85Woman over a year ago

Harrogate

"It's the same for all single guys ,I'm thinking of going to a social or club to see if it changes, I'm much better in real life ,if that doesn't work then it's back to breaking hearts on dating sites, this site is very clicky, "

I would always recommend socials and clubs because people will get to know you and start to recognise you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

We have guys on ignore, if you don't, loads of messages come flooding in. When we want to stop on a city for a weekend, we tend to message guys if they would like to meet. No word of a lie, it can be hard getting guys to turn up.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I went back and read your first paragraph because I thought it was really interesting…. Think about what you read

You are saying your mental health is being affected by the way that other people treat your unsolicited messages and not getting back in an orderly fashion that is good enough for you….

I hate to scream “entitlement” … but if it walks and talks… sometimes you gotta call it out….

Most single guys would kill for 9 varis in 11 months… but for some reason you are not seeing that as success

Why?

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By *ndy62Man over a year ago

Weston-super-Mare

I thought it was just me. If I quit then have nothing to look forward to so just carry on in hope

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By *ockosaurusMan over a year ago

Warwick

No, I love it.

Made some amazing friend through here.

I think the key is just to have fun and don't take it seriously, that way rejection doesn't really matter. I think people can pick up on that attitude too. Since I started to give less of a fuck about it all, I've got much more attention.

But please, if it's affecting your mental health, have a break. You are more important than anything this site can offer. Clear your head, and come back when it's fun again.

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By *angbang guyMan over a year ago

chester sometimes derby

My view is yes and no. I've been on this site with couples as a couple. I've also been as a single man and I've also been as a group organiser,.

I've never thought of quitting fully but there have been times where the dreamers and time wasters are just too much and they screw up the scene for the genuine players. Many a times in the past. I have organised meats for couples and single guys. And they've Have let them down but,,,, there have been occasions where I have organised for couples unsingle females which does seem to be the increasing problem on the scene that it is they they do not turn up and the single guys do!

Above all, I would just recommend that people be genuine. If you are experiencing the scene then you should know better and must always turn up to pre-arranged meats that you commit to pending a disaster.

If you are new to a scene, even if you are a couple female or a male, do not set something up and then bottle it. And certainly, please do not without letting people know because all it does is create distrust in the scene and that in turn creates more unreliability

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By *rafficvanMan over a year ago

Middletown

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "
never bother me if I meet anyone off here or not seem to get lucky fb dating one.... I'll love to try a club out not on my own... I would be a loner haha.. Stay with it lad forums are funny to read

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By *anuel ducatiMan over a year ago

leyburn

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? never bother me if I meet anyone off here or not seem to get lucky fb dating one.... I'll love to try a club out not on my own... I would be a loner haha.. Stay with it lad forums are funny to read

No kidding

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By *heirry84Man over a year ago

Powys

I went back and read your first paragraph because I thought it was really interesting…. Think about what you read

You are saying your mental health is being affected by the way that other people treat your unsolicited messages and not getting back in an orderly fashion that is good enough for you….

I hate to scream “entitlement” … but if it walks and talks… sometimes you gotta call it out….

Most single guys would kill for 9 varis in 11 months… but for some reason you are not seeing that as success

Why?

You're on the money here. Wish I would have seen the veris before commenting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I went back and read your first paragraph because I thought it was really interesting…. Think about what you read

You are saying your mental health is being affected by the way that other people treat your unsolicited messages and not getting back in an orderly fashion that is good enough for you….

I hate to scream “entitlement” … but if it walks and talks… sometimes you gotta call it out….

Most single guys would kill for 9 varis in 11 months… but for some reason you are not seeing that as success

Why?

I wouldn't be surprised if all this was for attention (green arrow)

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By *ockosaurusMan over a year ago

Warwick

I went back and read your first paragraph because I thought it was really interesting…. Think about what you read

You are saying your mental health is being affected by the way that other people treat your unsolicited messages and not getting back in an orderly fashion that is good enough for you….

I hate to scream “entitlement” … but if it walks and talks… sometimes you gotta call it out….

Most single guys would kill for 9 varis in 11 months… but for some reason you are not seeing that as success

Why?

I wouldn't be surprised if all this was for attention (green arrow)"

Oh it's him! (changed his username).

I'm not sure if he's attention seeking or just going through a bad patch (see his apology).

I'll happily give him the benefit of the doubt and hope things get better for him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I went back and read your first paragraph because I thought it was really interesting…. Think about what you read

You are saying your mental health is being affected by the way that other people treat your unsolicited messages and not getting back in an orderly fashion that is good enough for you….

I hate to scream “entitlement” … but if it walks and talks… sometimes you gotta call it out….

Most single guys would kill for 9 varis in 11 months… but for some reason you are not seeing that as success

Why?

I wouldn't be surprised if all this was for attention (green arrow)

Oh it's him! (changed his username).

I'm not sure if he's attention seeking or just going through a bad patch (see his apology).

I'll happily give him the benefit of the doubt and hope things get better for him. "

A couple of house after his 'apology' he tried to hijack another thread talking about his penis size so.....

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By *uckslut and MCouple over a year ago

Poole

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

It's not just single men it can effect mentle health. Anyone on Fab can get effected.

Can I put our fuve eggs as a couple so you see it from the other side?

Unread messsges. I (fem) do the normal every day admin. However, if Mr has a meet up, or has dm someone direct. I leave them unread and unopened. If he's dealing with, its rude for me to open and not reply.

Deleated. It clearly says on our profile, we only met, if we have a status or meet up. Dailey we get several cold call messages offering. We just deleate, if they can't be bothered to read the profile. We can't be bothered to reply, to repeate whats already been said on profile.

You have a good profile. You have good veris. Maybe hide your profile for a bit, if it's effecting you?

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By *ockosaurusMan over a year ago

Warwick

I went back and read your first paragraph because I thought it was really interesting…. Think about what you read

You are saying your mental health is being affected by the way that other people treat your unsolicited messages and not getting back in an orderly fashion that is good enough for you….

I hate to scream “entitlement” … but if it walks and talks… sometimes you gotta call it out….

Most single guys would kill for 9 varis in 11 months… but for some reason you are not seeing that as success

Why?

I wouldn't be surprised if all this was for attention (green arrow)

Oh it's him! (changed his username).

I'm not sure if he's attention seeking or just going through a bad patch (see his apology).

I'll happily give him the benefit of the doubt and hope things get better for him.

A couple of house after his 'apology' he tried to hijack another thread talking about his penis size so....."

Did he? I thought ghats what he apologised about and all the others were from before.

Anyway... we are now in danger of hijacking his, so I'm going to jump ship. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honestly... As someone who has switched to seeking women and couples only, I feel sorry for men on here.

My status update feed is full of women demanding BBC, Dom men, dr*gs, ridiculous penis size, hotels paid for them.

One would think they're looking for a free male escort. It's rather impersonal and not that different from the men on here who think this is a fuck and go site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

Your profile is good. If you were local to me I'd reply.

But if it's affecting your mental health it's not worth it. Take a break and come back when you're in a better place.

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By *ony tunnelMan over a year ago

birkenhead

At my age I don't expect meets.I get a kick out of reading the great horny sexy stories on here,and looking at the gorgeous photos that you beautiful people put on here.I have had many a good wank on here,and a few good chats with people.I am easily pleased you might say.Long may FAB rule(at least for this guy)now back to the stroking.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/04/22 12:38:27]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeap did think about quitting the site due to lack of replies. Rarely send a message now unless i recieve one first and thats even more rare

so stopped worrying about that now. I do like reading the forum and peeking at profiles

which has kept me on here

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By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "
. First things first your mental health has to come first if Fabs is causing you mental health issues then take a step back and decide if it is really for you.Second it is always hard for single guys on this site sending messages and not getting replies or them just getting deleted can be soul destroying but even harder from a personal perspective to my mental health and confusing my sexuality was getting messages from bi , bi curious , gay , tv / ts which were extremely graphic. I find that for me it works best to concentrate on the London social that I use to attend and the club and spa that I used to attend before Covid19 and lockdown.Yes I still send the odd messages but I don’t beat myself up if they are not what I want to hear just respect and wish the other person the best of luck with their search and move on.

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By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

Hi OP, I haven't thought about quitting as I like it here, have made some good connections and friends and have had a good time.

But I really get what you're saying: there are a million guys on here so it can be hard, and I'm sure we all feel insecure at times. As others have said, if you think your mental health is suffering, you need to take a break from the site. Perhaps hide your profile for a few days/weeks so you can come back if you ever wanted to (deleting it and you'll lose your veris). But remember that it's not personal, and you're way more than your profile on this site!

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By *ntman83Man over a year ago

Walsall

I joined during covid so didn't expect any luck. And with my look being a love hate thing still hold little expectations of getting a meet but its and ok place to come and chat. At end of the day I have more chance of finding people here who are looking for the same fun I am so you never know. Am just expecting it to take a long while and I'm ok with that

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By *eJaiMan over a year ago

Dundee

It's tough on here.

But probably the best advice is to just treat them as a normal person and read their profile. Find some common ground have a chat and see whether you have a mutual spark. Their might be something that generates a social and more. Or you could make a friend even if things go no further than that. I need to build a rapport so that I'm comfortable and the other party involved is as well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just got to remember, it’s not personal, and woman are actually swamped with messages, my FB gets hundreds, daily, so they physically can’t read them all, and rejection is just part of throwing yourself out there, I wouldn’t say quit, but don’t put all your eggs in the fab basket, try chatting to people in IRL, you’ll find they are often much more receptive, even if it’s just friendly chit chat

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By * pervert in a PeartreeMan over a year ago

city of Lodon

The site is useless as a way to meet people but if you go to socials it is much easier.

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By *orkswatcherMan over a year ago

Wakefield

I've realised the chance of meeting someone off here is very slim. So i'm mostly here to look and come on the forums

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By *en_Dover79Man over a year ago

Oswaldtwistle

"I've realised the chance of meeting someone off here is very slim. So i'm mostly here to look and come on the forums"

have you tried going to clubs and meeting some? things can snowball from there when they see verifications you will get more invites and success maybe

Sat behind the screen messaging every day is a hard way to go about it... couples and single women get blitzed with 100s of messages a day

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By *angero3aMan over a year ago

swords

yes hard for single guys do wonder if some profile not real

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By *aul002Man over a year ago

chelt

Too many unread messages

no one has the courtesyTo answer

even if it’s just sorry not our type

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Too many unread messages

no one has the courtesyTo answer

even if it’s just sorry not our type

The problem with this is when you say that you get people who try and convince you otherwise. I've not had a single guy who has take no for an answer so it's a delete and block if they continue to try to make contact.

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By *g and funnyCouple over a year ago

Clacton

"Too many unread messages

no one has the courtesyTo answer

even if it’s just sorry not our type

I don't think you understand the sheer volume of messages a single lady gets.

Can log in and go from zero to over 25 in a minute.

And every minute online means high probability of more people messaging.

It soon snowballs into just being a inbox where you just dont have time to answer and read every single message.

The site guidlines explicitly state that can happen to single ladies and couples and not to take it personally if a message is just deleted, yet people still moan about it.

Try imagining logging on and then having to spend the majority of your time just replying to messages from people you're not interested in.

Bet you would soon change your mind quickly about it being a "lack of courtesy" when you have to deal with it yourself day in day out

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By *edplusoneCouple over a year ago

West Midlands

OP is a good looking guy and I feel his pain, we ourselves are not looking for single men and I guess many couples are the same.

By settings filters we don’t get any messages from single men, get the occasional dodgy fake couple. Curious why other people are getting swamped with unwanted messages when they can set the filters.

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By *ammo89 OP Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Too many unread messages

no one has the courtesyTo answer

even if it’s just sorry not our type

I met with a couple who told me that when they first joined, they made a point of trying to answer everyone back, even just to say no, but thanks.

They had to stop doing it after a while, because most of them would reply with angry or abusive messages off the back of the polite no's.

It's complicated for both sides, and there's no simple solution

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP is a good looking guy and I feel his pain, we ourselves are not looking for single men and I guess many couples are the same.

You can set filters and still get people you don't find attractive and people will no manners messaging you

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By *all_cheeky_guyMan over a year ago

guildford

There are a few angles at this one, all that have been mentioned, but perhaps one that hasn’t

- Success/rejection, you actually have a remarkable success rate given your location, I’m sure plenty more ladies would want to meet you having seen this thread. Anyone needs to balance in their own mind what a relative measure is “success” is on here. For many, agnostic of gender, you’re doing very well. That said, you could meet two and make a friendship that helped you as a balance to the rest of your non online groups, thus being (in many peoples eyes) equally “successful”.

- Mental Health, this is very important for all. Something I’ve come more to understand in recent years and have a greater respect for needs that seem trivial to some but more material to others. Let’s be clear though, this community should be incidental to a greater group of friends and family that are not a click away. Your post (said respectfully, candidly) seems slightly conflicted as you say not just a fuck, and wanting enduring friendship, but your meets I am sure have provided a chance on that, so nurture those and follow up, else it does seem like just a fuck. If constant rejection is getting you down, ask yourself is that rejection so bad, what have you missed on, the vilification of a “yes” to an evening of play that’s never followed up, or, like above, some meets with some great people that you enjoy and want more time with. That instant gratification culture is everywhere now, and it’s hard not to get addicted to that. Be bold though, ask yourself if the time getting nos would be better invested in time investing into you, via playing sport, seeing pals, family etc, or, attending a club, real people and (still having the chance of a knock back) getting that banter and social interaction.

Good luck, but this shouldn’t be something that gets you down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Too many unread messages

no one has the courtesyTo answer

even if it’s just sorry not our type

Its nothing to do with courtesy

Women on here get alot of messages

Before put my filters on I used to get so many it was impossible to reply to people unless i was genuinely interested

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Too many unread messages

no one has the courtesyTo answer

even if it’s just sorry not our type

You have had a good amount of meets so you're obviously doing something right

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By *el13ABCMan over a year ago

Huddersfield

Thought about leaving but can live in hope spend more time on forums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can be frustrating for 54 yr old single guy….not much call for us but hey I just leave my profile on here

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By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

"Can be frustrating for 54 yr old single guy….not much call for us but hey I just leave my profile on here "
. I can understand what you are are saying been the same age as you.However I tend to mostly attend the London socials , a club , and a spa and from a personal perspective it works better for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Too many unread messages

no one has the courtesyTo answer

even if it’s just sorry not our type

I met with a couple who told me that when they first joined, they made a point of trying to answer everyone back, even just to say no, but thanks.

They had to stop doing it after a while, because most of them would reply with angry or abusive messages off the back of the polite no's.

It's complicated for both sides, and there's no simple solution"

Exactly. It's not just men obviously. I had a couple quite persistent today even though I told them I wasn't looking for a couple.

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By *orkswatcherMan over a year ago

Wakefield

"I've realised the chance of meeting someone off here is very slim. So i'm mostly here to look and come on the forums

have you tried going to clubs and meeting some? things can snowball from there when they see verifications you will get more invites and success maybe

Sat behind the screen messaging every day is a hard way to go about it... couples and single women get blitzed with 100s of messages a day"

I've yet to go to a club, i'm quite shy, I should have a crack. I've met a couple from here but haven't had a verifications

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By *ornLordMan over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

"I've realised the chance of meeting someone off here is very slim. So i'm mostly here to look and come on the forums

have you tried going to clubs and meeting some? things can snowball from there when they see verifications you will get more invites and success maybe

Sat behind the screen messaging every day is a hard way to go about it... couples and single women get blitzed with 100s of messages a day

I've yet to go to a club, i'm quite shy, I should have a crack. I've met a couple from here but haven't had a verifications "

Fortune favours the brave. I'm quite shy but sometimes you just have to go for it.

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By *over40Man over a year ago

crosshands

To be honest it's 1000 to 1 ratio for singal men on hear it is verchualy impossible better of on tinder if I'm honest

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By *100Man over a year ago

Essex

No I love seeing sexy people naked on here it keeps me horny

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By *aul002Man over a year ago

chelt

"Too many unread messages

no one has the courtesyTo answer

even if it’s just sorry not our type

You have had a good amount of meets so you're obviously doing something right

Would love to add you to my list of veris

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By *all Guy 00Man over a year ago

Dumfries

Yes,I've thought about quitting here, hardly any replies, gets to me

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By *aiseiMan over a year ago

Longbridge, Birmingham

"Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

I’ve left twice before; this is my third trip on the Fab Bus.

I came back as I missed the forums and didn’t see why I shouldn’t have a chance here.

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By *arekindMan over a year ago

RM14-IG2

Every time I visit I end up debating

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

Honestly for single guys who are after sex, this site isn't the best as it is mostly tailored towards swinging and couples.

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By *rNaughtyNickMan over a year ago

Birmingham

If your not thick skinned and unable to take rejection on a regular basis fab can be very daunting at first. The odds aren't in the favour of a single masle ratio is ridiculous.

Don't take fab too serious the forums are a better place. Tho if your mental health is taking a toll as suggested a time out / break is well needed.

Many female profiles are constantly inundated with messages all the time so many will bulk delete to free up their inbox or just leave mesaages unread purley as its rather daunting and too many to reply back.

I wouldn't take it too personal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It can be tough for men on fab as some men give the rest a bad reputation. The best advice I can give is find a local Kik group or something similar, look for local socials and visit clubs and use fab as a way to network with the people you meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m new to the site and have a few veris already, but it can be a bit of a minefield.

You need to treat online dating/swinging etc as a tool rather than put all your hopes into it. And you need to be fairly resilient. I don’t take it that seriously so it doesn’t bother me.

I actually find it easier to meet people on standard dating sites or in real life than on here. Ha.

However, as others have said, don’t allow anything like a website to affect your mental health. It’s not worth it. Try to stay positive. If you can’t, maybe take a break.

It’s all about the mindset and approach to it. If you get turned down or ignored, try to learn from it and think about what you can do to improve your chances.

Best of luck.

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By *ungle_kingMan over a year ago

Nuneaton

I have been on here many years and at times looking back at it has occasionally got me down, nothing serious but some of the responses or way some people can be just horrid. We are all here for our own reasons and just remember for a couple you are having to tick 2 boxes not just 1.

I’d say I have really good verifications but it doesn’t always help, timing and luck is the major factor in trying to get a meet. Some single guys are lazy and copy and paste messages so just try to keep each message a little personal to the profile you are writing too.

Covid made the site worse with an influx of profiles just to pass time and perv basically, I think you can spot fake profiles easily and the photo verification should be mandatory, the amount of cocks in frocks profiles as I call them is ridiculous and so just message profiles that you think are legit and also look for couples that you think will be good meets, one meet I had with a couple way out of my league turned out a disaster, she was hot yes but both were obnoxious and offish so we are all forever learning on here.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"The site is useless as a way to meet people but if you go to socials it is much easier.

That’s great if the socials are local to you, not much use if it’s a 2 hour drive away. Same goes for clubs.

For me personally, I’ve enjoyed a good amount of success meeting people through Fab, and I believe a lot of that comes from not being so ‘fortunate’ to have a club on our doorstep, as people put more effort into using Fab, rather than taking the ‘easy’ option of visiting a club

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By *ccidentprone2023Man over a year ago

middlesbrough

Yes as women are to fussy and also to many desperate men inboxing me and get blocked or ignored by women its pathetic they should make a singles part men find it harder to find a women and women complain when they get stood up whem they block genuine guys been om here a year and not had 1 meet

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

nr Stamford

"Yes as women are to fussy..."

That there is your problem and probably why you ought to leave the site. Women are not too fussy.....they simply don't need to lower their standards just so you can get your dick wet.

(Bry)

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By *ccidentprone2023Man over a year ago

middlesbrough

[Removed by poster at 23/04/22 15:31:31]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes as women are to fussy and also to many desperate men inboxing me and get blocked or ignored by women its pathetic they should make a singles part men find it harder to find a women and women complain when they get stood up whem they block genuine guys been om here a year and not had 1 meet "

Would you have sex with someone you don't find attractive?

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By *ccidentprone2023Man over a year ago

middlesbrough

Thats the whole site then lol

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Women are here to do you a service… and you are not owed anything just for being here!!

I am a great believer in that peoples attitudes show in the posts they write… because if you read yours again it looks absolutely awful

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By *handsMan over a year ago

Warrington

Nope, if a meet happens it happens, if I send a message I delete it from my sent box straight away, if they reply great, if they don’t why put yourself through the torture. I put in my message if you don’t reply I will take it as your not interested.

Whilst it is hard for single men, it isn’t easy for females on here wether in couples or not. Many single females turn off messaging due to the amount of messages they get.

I use this site more of a social website than anything else. I’ve been to socials and clubs from here. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine.

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By *ocothumpaMan over a year ago

quite close to you

Yeah.

I did quit for a while. Came back had some fun, not so much now… now just use it to see who’s going to events.

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By *ammo89 OP Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Yeah.

I did quit for a while. Came back had some fun, not so much now… now just use it to see who’s going to events."

Man, if mine was anything close to your size, I couldn't imagine wanting to leave

. Your inbox must get very busy

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By *hatfellareeceMan over a year ago

Chelsea

Yep, I have this talk with myself quite often. Its not so much having an impact on my mental health, but its just becoming a bit boring. Woman say they all want "effort" which there is absolutely nothing wrong with, but how can I be passionate and excited about the possibility of spending time with someone and having fun with them when the only interaction I've had with them is a few online pictures and weeks worth online messages before any chance of actual human interaction? Even talking for that long, when its online, there's still no actual bond being formed because you've been sat staring at a computer screen the entire time, just takes all the fun out of it.

But putting in effort in real life is a completely different kettle of fish and something I actually really enjoy, that face to face interaction makes it so much more exciting and erotic, so I really should do myself a favour and start frequenting clubs more often than I do. But as soon as the flirting and getting to know each other moves online, it just bores the absolute life me purely because of that lack of human interaction. Briefly introducing yourself, acknowledging a mutual attraction and then arranging a social to see if there's any spark is definitely my preferred way of doing things.

Not only that, as others have pointed out, the unnatural and super unbalanced ratio of men to women on this site means the odds are always going to be stacked against us guys unless we offer some sort of ultra specific kink like orgasm inducing telepathy whilst being suspended upside down that a female member is searching for...

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By *aylonMan over a year ago

Mitcham

No way, love Fab, maybe because I don't take it that seriously and have met some great sexy people on here. Key is veris and parties, build your brand and it'll be fun ??

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By *ate_BMan over a year ago

London

Over time, I learnt to enjoy FAB through the forums. I’m not ready to attend clubs and stuff which will make meeting up a little more difficult but I do have a good social life outside FAB so I don’t stress.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

Thinking back to when I started swinging as a single guy the only real difference I can see is that 20 years ago we had decent chatrooms.

I was just over 40, my 7yo son would stay with me every other weekend and I used to work around that.

I can't remember ever arranging a meet from a private message and didn't use the forum's at all.

Every free weekend would be a club or social somewhere and if I was going to a new club I would make sure to visit the local social prior to the club night. That way you could almost guarantee that you would see someone you'd met at the social.

What I didn't do was see it as just a way of getting my leg over, I saw it as a way of meeting people who were of the same frame of mind and having fun doing it.

It's all about networking.

If I just wanted to get laid it was a night out at my local O'Neals on a Friday.

Steve

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By *ammo89 OP Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

Thanks for all the kind words and advice

I think people on here would be better off if I deleted my account to be honest. I've not had a single response since November, and it's bothering me more than I realised

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"Thanks for all the kind words and advice

I think people on here would be better off if I deleted my account to be honest. I've not had a single response since November, and it's bothering me more than I realised"
.

Sod other people, think of yourself. If it's affecting you that badly YOU'D be better off of you left.

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By *akeUcumHardMan over a year ago

St Albans

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

I totally get what you mean..

I’ve been on and off this site for many years.

The truth is “Dick” is really cheap on this site because the Market is saturated.

You could have the best opening line or incredible pics.

Reality is your message is one of 50 to 100 your they’ve received.

Most ladies/couples get overwhelmed and just skim through them and most cases if yours in tucked in amongst the first 10 are inconsiderate and dum..

By the time they get to yours it’s being read in a negative frame of mind..

The chance to impromptu is rare but can happen.

The best tactic is to attend parties and grow your network.

Just lower your expectations.

Don’t treat this site or any interaction like a cash point.

Fab is like a wishing well, you send you messages hope for the best.

If nothing happens no big deal and it’s not a reflection on you.

Dry spell on here shouldn’t define your worth my friend.

If you’re suffering, please take a break and speak to a professional..

Please ????

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By *akeUcumHardMan over a year ago

St Albans

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on? "

I totally get what you mean..

I’ve been on and off this site for many years.

The truth is “Dick” is really cheap on this site because the Market is saturated.

You could have the best opening line or incredible pics.

Reality is your message is one of 50 to 100 your they’ve received.

Most ladies/couples get overwhelmed and just skim through them and most cases if yours in tucked in amongst the first 10 are inconsiderate and dum..

By the time they get to yours it’s being read in a negative frame of mind..

The chance to impromptu is rare but can happen.

The best tactic is to attend parties and grow your network.

Just lower your expectations.

Don’t treat this site or any interaction like a cash point.

Fab is like a wishing well, you send you messages hope for the best.

If nothing happens no big deal and it’s not a reflection on you.

Dry spell on here shouldn’t define your worth my friend.

If you’re suffering, please take a break and speak to a professional..

Please ????

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By *akeUcumHardMan over a year ago

St Albans

"Thanks for all the kind words and advice

I think people on here would be better off if I deleted my account to be honest. I've not had a single response since November, and it's bothering me more than I realised"

I’ve just got to your profile and I would add some curiosity and something unique to you..

Something that doesn’t make you seem vanilla.

I get 2 different responses for my “super soaker “ phrase . It repelles some but attracts people I’m in turn with.

Change things up..(think curiousity)

First message don’t try to say the correct thing..

Your

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a single woman on here (just putting my 2 pence in) it is SO overwhelming looking at your inbox. This isn't me bigging myself up, as others have said the ratio is way off. Just having tits guarantees 100+ messages a day. So i end up ignoring them all rather than working out who to reply to

Also i want to meet more people, but then i worry about safety and bottle it, how can you ever know who is legit and who's gunna take advantage or feel like they're owed a shag because you agreed to a coffee. Maybe other women feel the same and that affects replies?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, I go through phases. I like the forums. Anything else is a bonus. I tend to just wink or compliment people now. If they like my profile they can respond.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally believe it's difficult for all in here, from different perspectives.

Some may feel unseen, others overwhelmed.

With the right perspective, this site can still be enjoyed, fun and useful.

If though, it's beginning to take it's toll on mental health, then maybe this isn't the place for you.

Good luck in whatever you choose, OP.

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By *WokMan over a year ago

Wood Green

oh yeah definitly and i think alot of people in here have listed alot of the reasons why already

but i definitly have and not just on here aswell

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Totnes

Go to an organised social or a club ...you will meet lots of folk and get verified and get things going.

If your a normal decent guy , put some effort in...you will succeed in time in this alternative dimension

Good luck

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By *akeUcumHardMan over a year ago

St Albans

[Removed by poster at 28/04/22 09:17:32]

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By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

I did a few times

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By *elshyy92Man over a year ago

ask

I think I will be leaving the site after my gold subscription runs out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I have meet so many nice people on here

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By *aughty_builder87Man over a year ago

Keston

I’m here as a single as well as a couple and my couples profile gets way more attention for obvious reasons but I continue to use my single profile because when I do finally get a response it’s generally worth the wait.

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By *reezulMan over a year ago

birmingham

"As a single woman on here (just putting my 2 pence in) it is SO overwhelming looking at your inbox. This isn't me bigging myself up, as others have said the ratio is way off. Just having tits guarantees 100+ messages a day. So i end up ignoring them all rather than working out who to reply to

After speak to a few people this is basically it

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By *aughty_builder87Man over a year ago

Keston

If you limit your message filters as tight as possible to get less messages then message people that take your interest. Unfortunately I’m out as a married man

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By *izandpaulCouple over a year ago

merseyside

Lots of timewasters and idiots have joined since Covid and some of the threads have been somewhat toxic.

Fear not.

Once things start getting back to normal and meetings, socials gather pace the timewasters can't bang on about not meeting up as in reality they were never going to meet anyway and used covid as their shield.

Get yourself to some socials, you seem a decent chap and will, I'm sure, be an asset to any group.

Chin up, have fun.

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By *rrolloutMan over a year ago

Bristol

I don't think there's any point deleting your profile, but I certainly come on here a lot less than I used to.

Like you, have sent dozens of e-mails but no responses. I used to be on Match.com and POF, and got quite a lot of sex on there. Obviously they are dating sites, but play your cards right and you can still get sex on first dates.

Fab Swingers though, being purely about sex, means women are a lot pickier about who they choose. If you don't have a flat stomach or a big dick, you may as well give up.

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By * U mineMan over a year ago

Fun

[Removed by poster at 28/04/22 22:52:08]

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By * U mineMan over a year ago

Fun

It's only a game if you lose at chess your crap, but you don't give up.

On here you have to think , plan, work out a strategy.

One hit is all you get.

If you don't get a reply they can't read.Believe it.

It's the reality that a woman who walks down a street without getting a second glance, gets inundated with mail on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

I guess that could be because not all guys want to feel that they're 'on tap' for when couples give a call?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's about expectations OP. I've always just enjoyed chatting in the forums and occasionally meeting ladies. Everything else just followed from that. No pressure or expectations so no disappointments but a few surprises. I even met someone who's become a very close friend. But if it's affecting your mental health then perhaps at least a break is needed.

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By *y3942Man over a year ago

hastings

i have wondered why i am still here many times. i think i joined around 2017 or so, and have had less than a dozen meets, 3 of which with the same person (who is no longer here).

i think i only stay for the "voyer factor". as i am in a small town, i find it kinky if i see someone from here at work or in town. of course i never act inappropriate because i believe in discretion.

until recently i never put a pic up, again, i like discretion, and even though it is an old photo, it is an attractive one. however i still get almost no views, or only men looking. It can make you question are you being gaslighted when people often compliment you at work or in public, but you get nothing here

OP, i don't know what to say tbh. presuming your pics are current, you appear attractive, in shape and well enough endowed. plus guessing a scottish accent? lol so what is stopping you getting meets is not obvious to me. and WORSE, it makes me wonder what chance i have! ok, im attractive and well enough endowed, but i have put on weight since my profile pic. a lot of weight. and even though most of it is hidden due to my natural large frame, i could never post an ab's pic like you.

i do see it from the couples/single womens point of view. there are a lot of time wasters on here. a LOT. but, like someone mentioned above, it would appear to an outside observer, that unless you're VWE, athletic toned and supermodel handsome, you don't have a chance. obviously this is not true. i am testament to that as i got meets here, all of which was BEFORE i put up a face pic.

i think FAB needs to give more options for people. if there was a blocker for distance, that might help women/couples have less s*** to filter through, and then possibly stumble across people like you and me.

however, also, the age of the internet has skewed peoples views. in the past, your pool of people to meet would be limited to your town, or county, now they don't even need to be in your country. so now, somebody who is a 6, would rather wait to find a 7 or 8 than look at a 5 or 6.

prime example, some local girl recently changed her statue to something like "why do i keep ignoring all the guys who message me, while trying to get the attention of this one guy who doesn't even want me". she has no face pic so i can't say how attractive she is, but she has a lovely body.

in summary, i honestly don't know what to suggest, but if you ever find out the answer, i would love if you'd pass it on!!!

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

Try going to organised socials, you'll soon find some reliable single guys. People do talk

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

Couples on here have been nice enough to give some profile and pic tips, but I don't know what else I can do to improve the chance of a reply.

Have any of you guys considered calling it a day on here? And if so, was there anything that kept you on?

I guess that could be because not all guys want to feel that they're 'on tap' for when couples give a call?"

Exactly this! I’m more than just an available cock with the ability to get itself from A to B

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