FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Just read the bloody message
Just read the bloody message
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"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already "How do you know it’s not being read and then unread? That’s right you don’t. The rules are no reply not interested | |||
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"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already "Don’t worry about what’s been read or unread or whatever. Your only concern should be what is in your inbox. Delete your sent box frequently and forget about it. | |||
"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already "I wont read a message if i dont like the profile, its that simple for me | |||
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"Or just accept nobody owes you any of their time or consideration for an unsolicited message." That’s 100% real talk! to read or even reply back to messages is always a choice never an obligation. | |||
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"I recall the days of relentless yellow messages in my inbox as a single. Imagine for one moment, (min) 300-500 messages every single day. If I were to look at the profiles of each of them, say 2 mins, then even on a quite day, before I even consider time for replies, that's 10 hours a day of fabmin. Every. Single. Day. I love the Sometimes it's just down to catching someone at the right time. I well written message (if everything else works) is where it's at to increase your chances - and it is sometimes down to chance. You're not entitled to a reply. I get your frustrations OP - and it's just as frustrating for women, wading through the sea of yellow without giving up the day job! It's why K now mostly manages our fabmin - I've served my time
C"I love the ‘sea of yellow’ comment. I understand that must be a problem for women and couples who allow messages from single guys. And I completely accept that reading and replying is always a choice not an obligation, that’s completely right. I think for me the answer is going to be making new friends through existing friends, and at clubs, rather than wasting time with messaging. | |||
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"If you don’t like it when people don’t read your messages, stop sending them. It’s that simple. " This and delete sent messages. Then youll have nothing to obsess over | |||
"I recall the days of relentless yellow messages in my inbox as a single. Imagine for one moment, (min) 300-500 messages every single day. If I were to look at the profiles of each of them, say 2 mins, then even on a quite day, before I even consider time for replies, that's 10 hours a day of fabmin. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes it's just down to catching someone at the right time. I well written message (if everything else works) is where it's at to increase your chances - and it is sometimes down to chance. You're not entitled to a reply. I get your frustrations OP - and it's just as frustrating for women, wading through the sea of yellow without giving up the day job! It's why K now mostly manages our fabmin - I've served my time
C"Hi C Yes, if it’s not replied move on. My! What a delicious rest of classy pics & vids you both have. Great work. No need for a yellow box from me. Yes, I agree. Less is more to be sexy. Have fun you too. S.X | |||
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"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already "Alternatively it's been read then marked as unread because they not interested...... sorry guys we all do it at some point x | |||
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"Just because you're further down the line than they are, doesn't mean they have to play catch-up. (Bry)" I love that so very much!  | |||
"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already
How do you know it’s not being read and then unread? That’s right you don’t. The rules are no reply not interested"Can you do that? Read a msg then mark it unread? | |||
"This is what I posted on another thread about messages that explains the process we go through. "We very rarely arrange meets on Fab anymore, preferring organised socials and the one club we go to but when we get a message we look at that first line that shows in the list, if it's just addressed to Debs it gets binned. Then the profile pic, then the pics on the profile, then we read the profile. If that's all ok we read the message. Having said that we just replied to a message that had an intriguing opening line so who knows what it is that attracts a person enough to reply and possibly meet? Sometimes it's just an indefinable something that doesn't follow any rules."" This is what we do...check The message subject box...look at profile pics then read the profile and only if the first two passed lol. | |||
"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already
How do you know it’s not being read and then unread? That’s right you don’t. The rules are no reply not interested
Can you do that? Read a msg then mark it unread? "Yes. | |||
"Rant over." More of an entitled whinge I'd say. No one here owes anyone anything, whether one spits the dummy out or not | |||
"Rant over. More of an entitled whinge I'd say. No one here owes anyone anything, whether one spits the dummy out or not "Well. I did say I needed a moan! | |||
"Rant over. More of an entitled whinge I'd say. No one here owes anyone anything, whether one spits the dummy out or not
Well. I did say I needed a moan! "No, but really. I completely respect that this is a place where people can be who they want to be. Read or not. Reply or not. Meet or not. I have no sense of entitlement, but that doesn’t mean I’m not frustrated when a carefully written message to a profile I think I am compatible with remains (seemingly) unread. | |||
"Rant over. More of an entitled whinge I'd say. No one here owes anyone anything, whether one spits the dummy out or not
Well. I did say I needed a moan!
No, but really. I completely respect that this is a place where people can be who they want to be. Read or not. Reply or not. Meet or not.
I have no sense of entitlement, but that doesn’t mean I’m not frustrated when a carefully written message to a profile I think I am compatible with remains (seemingly) unread."I can see others have mentioned it, but its literally a numbers game. I also have a singles profile, but that profile gets a rediculous amount of messages a day, too many to process. As such I inevitably don't get chance to read all of them, so I end up deleting some unread messages. I mean some days I can spend a few hours going through the messages and in that time, because I'm showing online I get bombarded with an equal number of new messages so end up going offline feeling like ive made no progress on clearing them. So in all honesty it can be a case of chance for you getting your message seen. But take note of some of the tips from others above which will help improve your odds. Its important to remember that most singles or couples are only looking for occasional one off meets and not to have sex with hundreds of people. | |||
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"Rant over. More of an entitled whinge I'd say. No one here owes anyone anything, whether one spits the dummy out or not
Well. I did say I needed a moan!
No, but really. I completely respect that this is a place where people can be who they want to be. Read or not. Reply or not. Meet or not.
I have no sense of entitlement, but that doesn’t mean I’m not frustrated when a carefully written message to a profile I think I am compatible with remains (seemingly) unread."I think it's fair to be frustrated by that. Means you are human and care about who you want to meet. If you were just looking for a wet hole you wouldn't be that bothered. | |||
"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already "They probably looked at your profile and thought you weren't for them and thought it would be easier to leave the message unread than to reply and delete and risk receiving a follow up message | |||
"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already
How do you know it’s not being read and then unread? That’s right you don’t. The rules are no reply not interested"I’ve met a few people you didn’t reply to my first message so that’s not really true. | |||
"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already "Not really. Just because you send a message doesn't mean that you have the right to have the message read.  | |||
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"Okay couples might want the other half to notice and read the message too, but I really don't get it, why would a single girl mark a message unread if she has already read it. She really doesn't owe me an excuse, so why would she try hiding? Knowing that girls can receive hundreds of messages a day, if I see that someone didn't open my email, I might think it simply avoided her attention? So if I see her online, I may send another short one, just a polite reminder if she noticed my message. If still no answer, then I accept it as a no. Reading messages (or just opening them) but don't answer is the best and most polite way of saying no. Actually, IMO it's better than the "thanks for the nice message but, you're not my type" response. I don't think that anyone owes me anything, like opening my message, but if that girl feels that she has the time of "one-click" for me, then she should rather start with my message and read that instead of my profile. First, I don't show my face in my public photos but I always do in my messages. Second, though I've put together a few sentences about myself into my bio, in my message I will tell why I think we could click well personally with her. Maybe some girls fear opening a message to finding unsolicited dick picks? I mean if they browse this site at work or at a public place? Well, I never send cock pics, but as those have to be marked as a separate category when uploaded anyway, I think fab could simply offer an option to block them in your inbox?" The higher the number of unread messages, the greater the ego boost. | |||
" The higher the number of unread messages, the greater the ego boost. "very true! When I first read the "Sidney University..." stuff in so many profiles, at the beginning I didn't understand why would this page be so interesting for a study? People love sex, what's new in that?
But as I spent more time here I understood, that this page is way beyond being an app for finding sex partners. It's a very special place where you can study psychology and how human behaviour changes when the circumstances (first and foremost the m/f ratio) go far from the real world.
I need to find out how can I remind myself of this website in my next life in case I will re-incarnate as a woman... | |||
"Rant over. More of an entitled whinge I'd say. No one here owes anyone anything, whether one spits the dummy out or not "Wow! A man dares to say something = "entitled whinge". Exactly what I talked about in my previous comment... I had to take a quick look at the profile too, who answered this gem. Definitely a case study. Sadly, I don't drive and my "wealth" is no one's business on fab. | |||
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"Anyway, it looks like a major problem that girls and couples receive tons of irrelevant messages from people outside their preferences, so those that could be interesting can be lost in the sea of emails. It might sound harsh, but I think that would be helpful if people with strict preferences could block everyone else outside of those criteria from messaging them? I mean not only blocking single guys or people out of your preferred age range as is possible already but for the body type, skin colour, and even the size of the cock, if you wish to do that? We all have the right for having sexual preferences, and a filter like that could save tons of time for users, and also make the page more effective to actually find those you would be happy to connect with." Or men could read profiles before deciding to message people | |||
"Anyway, it looks like a major problem that girls and couples receive tons of irrelevant messages from people outside their preferences, so those that could be interesting can be lost in the sea of emails. It might sound harsh, but I think that would be helpful if people with strict preferences could block everyone else outside of those criteria from messaging them? I mean not only blocking single guys or people out of your preferred age range as is possible already but for the body type, skin colour, and even the size of the cock, if you wish to do that? We all have the right for having sexual preferences, and a filter like that could save tons of time for users, and also make the page more effective to actually find those you would be happy to connect with. Or men could read profiles before deciding to message people " This  | |||
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" Or men could read profiles before deciding to message people " Cool, then we arrived back to the OP's complaint: many of us men read the profiles and wish lists (often the length of a novel) what kind of men you are looking for, hit the message button only if we seem to be matched with your preferences, then try to write some original and hope to be a funny message - which often won't be read ever. From your point of view: you receive too many irrelevant emails so can't read all. from ours: it's all wasted time and energy if the massage will be never even opened. So, I tried to offer a workable solution to reduce irrelevant messages, but your answer is easier: blame the men. | |||
" Or men could read profiles before deciding to message people Cool, then we arrived back to the OP's complaint: many of us men read the profiles and wish lists (often the length of a novel) what kind of men you are looking for, hit the message button only if we seem to be matched with your preferences, then try to write some original and hope to be a funny message - which often won't be read ever. From your point of view: you receive too many irrelevant emails so can't read all. from ours: it's all wasted time and energy if the massage will be never even opened. So, I tried to offer a workable solution to reduce irrelevant messages, but your answer is easier: blame the men. ". If you've read the profile and you match the preferences listed then you would still be able to message the person so filters in that instance is pointless .... | |||
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" If you've read the profile and you match the preferences listed then you would still be able to message the person so filters in that instance is pointless .... " Filters would block those who don't read, don't care just spamming around. The lack of filters means these useless spammy messages will make the genuine ones less visible which can be a loss for both sides. In this case, it doesn't matter if I read your profile or not, the spam will outnumber me and bury my message. If everyone was following common sense we won't need the police to exist but the reality is something different so we should rather find solutions that stick to reality. Or I can mention dating apps. The main reason why Tinder-style apps took over traditional dating sites is that only those can message you who attract you too. Better for everyone. | |||
" If you've read the profile and you match the preferences listed then you would still be able to message the person so filters in that instance is pointless .... Filters would block those who don't read, don't care just spamming around. The lack of filters means these useless spammy messages will make the genuine ones less visible which can be a loss for both sides. In this case, it doesn't matter if I read your profile or not, the spam will outnumber me and bury my message. If everyone was following common sense we won't need the police to exist but the reality is something different so we should rather find solutions that stick to reality. Or I can mention dating apps. The main reason why Tinder-style apps took over traditional dating sites is that only those can message you who attract you too. Better for everyone." The problem is that you can’t set a filter for dickheads. Highlights of my inbox today? “Spread your cunt.” “wuu2?” “You’re exactly what I’ve been looking for. Let’s start by chatting.” Arrogant, rude, and pointless. And frankly, filters aren’t going to fix the problem of entitled little boys. BUT ALSO? You know how this is a swingers site, and not a sex site? That means that I use this site to keep in touch with club friends, including people I’m not “compatible” with, and they’re far more important to me than some disembodied penis in my inbox. | |||
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" If you've read the profile and you match the preferences listed then you would still be able to message the person so filters in that instance is pointless .... Filters would block those who don't read, don't care just spamming around. The lack of filters means these useless spammy messages will make the genuine ones less visible which can be a loss for both sides. In this case, it doesn't matter if I read your profile or not, the spam will outnumber me and bury my message. If everyone was following common sense we won't need the police to exist but the reality is something different so we should rather find solutions that stick to reality. Or I can mention dating apps. The main reason why Tinder-style apps took over traditional dating sites is that only those can message you who attract you too. Better for everyone." People just reading in the first place would get rid of the need for the site owners to spend £££ developing extra filters etc in order to better manage messages. | |||
" The problem is that you can’t set a filter for dickheads. Highlights of my inbox today? “Spread your cunt.” “wuu2?” “You’re exactly what I’ve been looking for. Let’s start by chatting.” Arrogant, rude, and pointless. And frankly, filters aren’t going to fix the problem of entitled little boys. BUT ALSO? You know how this is a swingers site, and not a sex site? That means that I use this site to keep in touch with club friends, including people I’m not “compatible” with, and they’re far more important to me than some disembodied penis in my inbox. " What are your experiences in "traditional dating apps/sites" if you use them? Or in real life, clubs or bars (not swinger clubs). Is that typical that men are this rude and stupid when they try on you? I doubt it. I have a feeling that this site brings out the worst of men (and some women). It's definitely not an excuse for being a dickhead, tho. You got messages from idiot guys, and I read profiles of women. Trust me, the word "entitled" stands for women here at least as much as for men. This crazy m/f ratio is like a human social experiment. Create a platform which multiples someone's IRL "sex market value" by 10x (I know it sounds rude, but this is the truth), and look how they behave. It doesn't stand for all women just as not all guys who message you are rude dickheads. Let me add here a fictional man's bio, the equivalent of dozens of female profiles I've read on this page. Just imagine, what would happen if male profiles like this would be typical on Tinder. That would hit national news, how toxic we men are... "I'm only interested in quality girls! If you are over 65kg - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If your bust size is under 90cm - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If your skin is (you choose a colour here) - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If all of these apply, then send me a face, a full body (from the front, from the back and from the side) photo, and I might consider getting in touch with you. If I do, I will require a phone and a video call to confirm that you are not fat/short/flat! I'm not here to please you, I don't care what you are looking for, but if I will like what I see, I may allow you to get a bit closer" ... and I could continue. Trust me, similar profiles are quite common here from girls, even from those who (sorry to say, but) would be over the moon if some d*unk bloke accidentally swipes them right on Tinder. Okay, any men, who have at least a bit of dignity avoid messaging these rude profiles. But the next step is what OP said: you find one that is seemingly cool, you make sure you match her preferences and write a meaningful message, that will be never opened. And here we are again, the rest has been discussed already. PS: I really think, that we all can have sexual preferences (body type, ethnicity, sizes, etc) and it doesn't make us a bad person. Filters that could be set discretely would not only block irrelevant messages but also could make super rude profile bios unnecessary, like the ones I wrote in the "parody" above. When you don't match someone's preferences, it could tell you discretely, that "sorry, for some reason, it's not you what this person is looking for". So it will not be told in your face that you are too old/fat/short/tiny dick, etc. I think it could be a win-win for everyone. | |||
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"Does my head in too when messages go unread but either I'm way to ugly or most likely women and couples receive way more messages than they can be arsed to read which is understandable. They probably end up missing out on some of the decent fellas on the site ." Don't worry, dude, the fault is not on your side. Maybe you already do, but if not, try clubs and choose events when the number of single guys is limited. If you prefer online, I'd still rather recommend apps like Tinder or Happn, you will have way more success, and you can be also honest before the first meeting if you are not looking for any more serious than an FWB. So no one will feel misled. Keep this page as a fun thing to browse, but that's it. The only reason why I "waste my time here" (not 100% true as these debates somehow entertain me, haha ) is that I feel seriously worried about men who come to this page without previous experiences in clubs or normal dating sites.
When I started to use this page, I already had plenty of experiences both in swinger clubs, traditional nights clubs and dating apps, I knew how can I catch up with girls I genuinely fancy, and if the phrase "VWE" can also stand for self-confidence, then in that way I'm VWE for sure. Thank God, otherwise, this page would have destroyed my self-esteem for life... And I was even lucky to meet some really nice and stunning girls from here, but the number of rejections and ignorance I faced surely could destroy someone's personal confidence if he is not strong enough in mind... | |||
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"I doubt any woman would be offended if a guy had a list on his profile of types he finds attractive. It definitely doesn't bother me when I see profiles, male/female/couples that say no big women, black women, tall women, tattooed women etc because thankfully I'm mature enough to understand that people have preferences. Also it is worth noting that if a woman states on her profile that she wants someone who is 6foot tall with size 9 feet, and you fit that criteria it doesn't automatically mean that she is going to have sex with you...." First, it seems you belong to the minority with common sense here then. Second, as a man, I would feel it painful to read such a rude that I created as a parody above. But I've read plenty of similar from women. And that's what I call being entitled, coz of the unlevel ratio. Not what they say, but how they say it. Because we all have preferences but there are different ways to express them. Saying that "Once I went black, since never went back" or "Whenever I tried brown, they've never let me down, so Asians, please jump the queue", maybe "I fancy the white chocolate" adding that "and this is my exclusive preference" sounds way more civil as DON'T MESSAGE ME (with all capital, as I've literally seen it multiple times!) if you are black/white/Asian. Or "I admire fit bodies" or "I'm a fan of big curves" sounds way better if you are up for a certain body type and you can tell the same thing, isn't it? I only added that comment as more of the girls said that "men feel entitled" here. Not only men. Women are often worse. And don't think that every woman here is thinking with the same common sense as you. Once I asked a question here in the forum about a party. I used to be a regular in that certain club in their previous venue and loved their parties, but when I tried their new place (couple of times), I noticed that the crowd has changed a lot. I tried to put it in a super polite way, and said, "I remember, previously I've fallen in love two-three times a night at those parties, such beautiful girls attended every time. Did I go on the wrong evenings lately or did those younger and fit ladies disappear for good?" The reaction from the women of this forum was beyond your imagination. I was being told to be a body-shamer, recommended to buy sex dolls instead or even to visit prostitutes. And that came from 4-5 different women on the same day... | |||
"The reaction from the women of this forum was beyond your imagination. I was being told to be a body-shamer, recommended to buy sex dolls instead or even to visit prostitutes. And that came from 4-5 different women on the same day... "Sorry for quoting/answering myself but almost forgot the best reaction: "If you don't like real women, watch Love Island and wank!"
I'm still confused about what does "real woman" means? | |||
"I doubt any woman would be offended if a guy had a list on his profile of types he finds attractive. It definitely doesn't bother me when I see profiles, male/female/couples that say no big women, black women, tall women, tattooed women etc because thankfully I'm mature enough to understand that people have preferences. ***Also it is worth noting that if a woman states on her profile that she wants someone who is 6foot tall with size 9 feet, and you fit that criteria it doesn't automatically mean that she is going to have sex with you....***"
Especially *** !! | |||
"The reaction from the women of this forum was beyond your imagination. I was being told to be a body-shamer, recommended to buy sex dolls instead or even to visit prostitutes. And that came from 4-5 different women on the same day...
Sorry for quoting/answering myself but almost forgot the best reaction: "If you don't like real women, watch Love Island and wank!"
I'm still confused about what does "real woman" means? "The ones in the club on the night you visit, generally. Let’s see if I’ve got this right. You only talk to women you fancy. You didn’t fancy anyone. Presumably, didn’t talk to anyone. Didn’t have fun. Complained about it on the forum later…and were surprised by the reaction you got. What were you saying about common sense? | |||
" Let’s see if I’ve got this right. You only talk to women you fancy. You didn’t fancy anyone. Presumably, didn’t talk to anyone. Didn’t have fun. Complained about it on the forum later…and were surprised by the reaction you got. What were you saying about common sense? " No, you haven't got it right, but maybe I wasn't clear enough, so my bad. That forum debate was months after my last visit. And it was a new thread, started by a man who was thinking about visiting the place and asked for some reviews (as the club is not on the fab's review page). I wrote my honest review in a very polite way, and then an army of women arrived who were not even on the thread earlier and the storm of comments started... | |||
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"Another very fresh and "interesting experience", totally relevant in this thread... Yesterday I noticed that a girl looked at my profile. She doesn't have a public photo but her details and profile sound exciting, so I messaged her. Spent some time trying to write a well-written message, reflecting on her profile, trying to be interesting, maybe funny, etc. I also attached photos. By the time I sent the message, I noticed that someone just sent me a friend request! It's her! Such a nice coincidence! I happily accept the request and start to feel excited, as the girl is actually really attractive. Quickly sent another short email, saying thank you for the friend request and that how funny is that she sent it to me exactly the same time while I was typing my email! And then..... She was online for further hours. And today again, for hours. My messages are still waiting untouched, and by now, I wish I could bet they never will be opened. Just for the record, she also hasn't visited my profile since I accepted the friend request, so it's not about looking at my private photos and running away. She has one private photo only, which doesn't look obviously fake but isn't photo verified either. Catfish? A bored girl who is looking for an ego boost? (she is good looking, doesn't need that) "Friend collector"? What is the point of that? Long story short: whatever looks too good to be true on fab, that's not true... "You sent 2 messages within a space of a couple of minutes and you're surprised that she didn't open them and respond? | |||
"You sent 2 messages within a space of a couple of minutes and you're surprised that she didn't open them and respond? " As soon as I sent her my message I noticed that she sent me a friend request exactly at the same time as I was typing my email. It's quite funny so I thought it worth another line. But mostly I wanted to say thank you for the friend invite, which I usually do (if I'm interested to accept it). I don't think that this could be mentioned on the same page with "serial messaging stalkers" or anything like that. But doesn't matter what we men do or say here, we can't be right anyway. | |||
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"People spend far too much time disecting the ins and outs of messaging and if this was read or that was read etc etc. It’s such a waste of time. Delete the outbox every time and only be concerned about what’s in the inbox. Simples. " Basically | |||
"People spend far too much time disecting the ins and outs of messaging and if this was read or that was read etc etc. It’s such a waste of time. Delete the outbox every time and only be concerned about what’s in the inbox. Simples. " Totally this | |||
" If you've read the profile and you match the preferences listed then you would still be able to message the person so filters in that instance is pointless .... Filters would block those who don't read, don't care just spamming around. The lack of filters means these useless spammy messages will make the genuine ones less visible which can be a loss for both sides. In this case, it doesn't matter if I read your profile or not, the spam will outnumber me and bury my message. If everyone was following common sense we won't need the police to exist but the reality is something different so we should rather find solutions that stick to reality. Or I can mention dating apps. The main reason why Tinder-style apps took over traditional dating sites is that only those can message you who attract you too. Better for everyone. The problem is that you can’t set a filter for dickheads. Highlights of my inbox today? “Spread your cunt.” “wuu2?” “You’re exactly what I’ve been looking for. Let’s start by chatting.” Arrogant, rude, and pointless. And frankly, filters aren’t going to fix the problem of entitled little boys. BUT ALSO? You know how this is a swingers site, and not a sex site? That means that I use this site to keep in touch with club friends, including people I’m not “compatible” with, and they’re far more important to me than some disembodied penis in my inbox. " Very true Plus people cheat to get round filters ie change their age of add a pic to get through the no pic filter . You can't filter those who don't read sadly ,they can't be stopped. I like many look at the profile 1st then if they're miles away,smoke ,have no pics or are attached then I delete them. I always reply to well written messages though,as I rarely get any. | |||
" If you've read the profile and you match the preferences listed then you would still be able to message the person so filters in that instance is pointless .... Filters would block those who don't read, don't care just spamming around. The lack of filters means these useless spammy messages will make the genuine ones less visible which can be a loss for both sides. In this case, it doesn't matter if I read your profile or not, the spam will outnumber me and bury my message. If everyone was following common sense we won't need the police to exist but the reality is something different so we should rather find solutions that stick to reality. Or I can mention dating apps. The main reason why Tinder-style apps took over traditional dating sites is that only those can message you who attract you too. Better for everyone. The problem is that you can’t set a filter for dickheads. Highlights of my inbox today? “Spread your cunt.” “wuu2?” “You’re exactly what I’ve been looking for. Let’s start by chatting.” Arrogant, rude, and pointless. And frankly, filters aren’t going to fix the problem of entitled little boys. BUT ALSO? You know how this is a swingers site, and not a sex site? That means that I use this site to keep in touch with club friends, including people I’m not “compatible” with, and they’re far more important to me than some disembodied penis in my inbox. Very true Plus people cheat to get round filters ie change their age of add a pic to get through the no pic filter . You can't filter those who don't read sadly ,they can't be stopped. I like many look at the profile 1st then if they're miles away,smoke ,have no pics or are attached then I delete them. I always reply to well written messages though,as I rarely get any." I do get some really lovely, really well written messages (which are obviously a pleasure) but the issue is then that they’ve either not read my profile or have ignored what it says. It then makes me feel not very good declining after a lovely message and a nice chat. I do make it clear early as not to waste someone’s time | |||
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"I always look at the profile before reading the message and yes in stealth mode If the profile doesn’t interest me then there’s little chance I’ll read the message. " I'm going to start double this, I'm fed up of replying back with a no thanks to receive either a why not, insults or threats | |||
"As someone who has grown up in an ex-communist country and knows one thing or two about how did that work when the freedom of speech didn't exist and you were not allowed to disagree with certain people but had to keep your mouth shut, this forum still can show me something new again and again. Thanks for saving my time and I hope you will keep enjoying your parallel virtual universe here where men can't have a word. I rather enjoy the real "out of fab" world where (you believe me or not) men and women are able to interact with mutual respect, listen to each other (even if they don't agree), and first of all, have lots of fun. But you can choose to "cancel" everyone who disagrees with you on something. But be careful, if you do it too often, in the end you might will "walk alone"." Who is this comment to? If you use the Reply + quote button we will know which post you are replying to. | |||
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" If you are over 65kg - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If your bust size is under 90cm - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If your skin is (you choose a colour here) - DON'T MESSAGE ME! " I'm late to this thread, I know. But. These are preferences. They're expressed bluntly, but having seen a tiny fraction of the messages that women get here, I can understand being blunt. For too many men, even this appears to be too subtle. There is nothing wrong with having preferences, and expressing them in an appropriate place. That's one of the things a profile is for. "People should read (and reply to, which is another common theme) messages" is entitlement. It's expecting a stranger to do something, just because you want them to. It's a completely different thing. I would hope the difference is obvious. | |||
" If you are over 65kg - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If your bust size is under 90cm - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If your skin is (you choose a colour here) - DON'T MESSAGE ME! I'm late to this thread, I know. But. These are preferences. They're expressed bluntly, but having seen a tiny fraction of the messages that women get here, I can understand being blunt. For too many men, even this appears to be too subtle. There is nothing wrong with having preferences, and expressing them in an appropriate place. That's one of the things a profile is for. "People should read (and reply to, which is another common theme) messages" is entitlement. It's expecting a stranger to do something, just because you want them to. It's a completely different thing. I would hope the difference is obvious." Exactly this. When I joined, my profile was very light and positive, then I had to change it slightly, then a bit more, then a bit more. Now it’s to the point and quite unfriendly. Same with messages. I started replying to as many as I could, a bit of chat, polite no thanks. I’ve now learnt that this mostly equals aggro and abuse. Your experiences on here shape the profile and the way you conduct your messaging. | |||
"So I have looked at your profile. I would say that I would probably delete a message without reading it for a couple of reasons. Age and location are the main two Profile-wise, pictures are 2 to 4 years old, nothing newer. Spending your life in a hotel room would give you plenty of time to take more up-to-date ones. Profile picture is fine (much better than a dick pic) These are just observations not criticism." Thank you. That’s good of you. Definitely time to get the camera out again, I agree! | |||
"Like a lot of people we have stated this on the end of our bio. It’s our choice wether we want to respond or not so don’t get pissy about it, take it as a polite no thank you! "Never pissy, I wouldn’t like to be like that. Just frustrating sometimes, that’s all.  | |||
"I always look at the profile before reading the message and yes in stealth mode If the profile doesn’t interest me then there’s little chance I’ll read the message. I'm going to start double this, I'm fed up of replying back with a no thanks to receive either a why not, insults or threats "I’m not surprised you do that. I’d hate receiving any of those kind of replies! | |||
" If you are over 65kg - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If your bust size is under 90cm - DON'T MESSAGE ME! If your skin is (you choose a colour here) - DON'T MESSAGE ME! I'm late to this thread, I know. But. These are preferences. They're expressed bluntly, but having seen a tiny fraction of the messages that women get here, I can understand being blunt. For too many men, even this appears to be too subtle. There is nothing wrong with having preferences, and expressing them in an appropriate place. That's one of the things a profile is for. "People should read (and reply to, which is another common theme) messages" is entitlement. It's expecting a stranger to do something, just because you want them to. It's a completely different thing. I would hope the difference is obvious. Exactly this. When I joined, my profile was very light and positive, then I had to change it slightly, then a bit more, then a bit more. Now it’s to the point and quite unfriendly. Same with messages. I started replying to as many as I could, a bit of chat, polite no thanks. I’ve now learnt that this mostly equals aggro and abuse. Your experiences on here shape the profile and the way you conduct your messaging. " This is the absolute truth  | |||
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"I always look at the profile before reading the message and yes in stealth mode If the profile doesn’t interest me then there’s little chance I’ll read the message. I'm going to start double this, I'm fed up of replying back with a no thanks to receive either a why not, insults or threats "A “no thanks” is a great reply but for stopping time wasting, “no thanks” then block is great for those with awful memory’s | |||
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"It would be easier if it got deleted then you know they looked and not interested or just busy" You still get nasty messages saying that you're rude if you delete them, can't win  | |||
"It would be easier if it got deleted then you know they looked and not interested or just busy You still get nasty messages saying that you're rude if you delete them, can't win "Exactly on the money, were mean for ignoring, mean for reading and not replying, mean for denying or mean for blocking! Luckily most dont care or are good about it like a normal person lol | |||
"It would be easier if it got deleted then you know they looked and not interested or just busy You still get nasty messages saying that you're rude if you delete them, can't win "Why are some folk like twats just say thanx and move on sorry you get nasty messages | |||
"Or just accept nobody owes you any of their time or consideration for an unsolicited message." Exactly, spot on. | |||
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"You could always make another account and send a message least you know you'd read and reply "Wouldn’t reply to myself I’m to busy | |||
"Who are these magical women that get hundreds of messages a day? " I used to before I started using filters | |||
"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already "Or they just delete it, very annoying! | |||
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"Or just accept nobody owes you any of their time or consideration for an **unsolicited** message." • What constitutes an unsolicited message??? | |||
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"What constitutes an unsolicited message???" A message that has not been solicited. If they haven't explicitly asked you to send them a message, any message you send is unsolicited. And you have no reason to expect anything from them. Solicited: "Hey, Nero, get in touch". Not solicited: "If you meet the requirements listed in our profile, get in touch". That's not addressed to you personally. Very unsolicited: "I'm female". That's not to say you can't send people messages if they haven't asked you to. Just that you can't expect anything of them when you do. | |||
"Right! I need a moan! A big hand gesturing eye rolling moan. I’ll be fine when I’ve got it off my chest. I’ll be able to get back to enjoying the delicious pleasure of Fab. But every time I read a profile which says ‘just read the profile’ I recall every time I have written a carefully considered message, just like we all should, only for it to sit unread for ever and a day. I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. Or don’t allow people to message you at all. Just so bloody frustrating and annoying! There. Rant over. I feel better already "Sorry, did you say something. | |||
"What constitutes an unsolicited message??? A message that has not been solicited. If they haven't explicitly asked you to send them a message, any message you send is unsolicited. And you have no reason to expect anything from them. Solicited: "Hey, Nero, get in touch". Not solicited: "If you meet the requirements listed in our profile, get in touch". That's not addressed to you personally. Very unsolicited: "I'm female". That's not to say you can't send people messages if they haven't asked you to. Just that you can't expect anything of them when you do." • Your analogy is not entirely accurate. Unsolicited in this context means you're not looking to potentially meet whatsoever, or for anything sexual at all. And this could be because, for example, the profile clearly states - "I'm only here for the forums" or "to engage in the chat rooms" etc. However if you have suggested or intimated on your profile you want to meet men/women/couples/... then there is a REASONABLE expectation that people WILL message you and therefore it's not completely unsolicited. How you wish to reply to that message, if at all, is your prerogative. (Not replying is perfectly acceptable too) (If you have on your profile that you want a take-away and then get a message from 'ABC Pizza' it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer then it's unsolicited) | |||
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"What constitutes an unsolicited message??? A message that has not been solicited. If they haven't explicitly asked you to send them a message, any message you send is unsolicited. And you have no reason to expect anything from them. Solicited: "Hey, Nero, get in touch". Not solicited: "If you meet the requirements listed in our profile, get in touch". That's not addressed to you personally. Very unsolicited: "I'm female". That's not to say you can't send people messages if they haven't asked you to. Just that you can't expect anything of them when you do. • Your analogy is not entirely accurate. Unsolicited in this context means you're not looking to potentially meet whatsoever, or for anything sexual at all. And this could be because, for example, the profile clearly states - "I'm only here for the forums" or "to engage in the chat rooms" etc. However if you have suggested or intimated on your profile you want to meet men/women/couples/... then there is a REASONABLE expectation that people WILL message you and therefore it's not completely unsolicited. How you wish to reply to that message, if at all, is your prerogative. (Not replying is perfectly acceptable too) (If you have on your profile that you want a take-away and then get a message from 'ABC Pizza' it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer then it's unsolicited)" I…kind of agree and disagree? If I have a status up asking who’s going to be at the club, I’m soliciting responses and potentially company. My profile mentions clubs, but is not intended to be at all inviting. At all. Yet 99% of my messages, particularly when I have a status up talking about a club visit, are basically horny men saying “u fuk now???” Merely having a profile is not an invitation. I reckon a status update, winking someone, or fabbing several of their pictures, is solicitation and I should make an effort to reply to them unless they’re awful. The rest of the time, you only get a response if it’s easy for me to think of something to say. | |||
"What constitutes an unsolicited message??? A message that has not been solicited. If they haven't explicitly asked you to send them a message, any message you send is unsolicited. And you have no reason to expect anything from them. Solicited: "Hey, Nero, get in touch". Not solicited: "If you meet the requirements listed in our profile, get in touch". That's not addressed to you personally. Very unsolicited: "I'm female". That's not to say you can't send people messages if they haven't asked you to. Just that you can't expect anything of them when you do. • Your analogy is not entirely accurate. Unsolicited in this context means you're not looking to potentially meet whatsoever, or for anything sexual at all. And this could be because, for example, the profile clearly states - "I'm only here for the forums" or "to engage in the chat rooms" etc. However if you have suggested or intimated on your profile you want to meet men/women/couples/... then there is a REASONABLE expectation that people WILL message you and therefore it's not completely unsolicited. How you wish to reply to that message, if at all, is your prerogative. (Not replying is perfectly acceptable too) (If you have on your profile that you want a take-away and then get a message from 'ABC Pizza' it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer then it's unsolicited) I…kind of agree and disagree? If I have a status up asking who’s going to be at the club, I’m soliciting responses and potentially company. My profile mentions clubs, but is not intended to be at all inviting. At all. Yet 99% of my messages, particularly when I have a status up talking about a club visit, are basically horny men saying “u fuk now???” Merely having a profile is not an invitation. I reckon a status update, winking someone, or fabbing several of their pictures, is solicitation and I should make an effort to reply to them unless they’re awful. The rest of the time, you only get a response if it’s easy for me to think of something to say. " Ok just using your logic I should only reply to people that wink me or fab my pics, the last time someone gabbed one of my pictures that wasn’t a man or blank profile was never. So should I just assume I’m not attractive enough for fab? | |||
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"The bottom line is simple: Persevere by sending polite and unique messages ONLY where you fit/meet the criteria or requirements of the recipient. " Not that simple. I always do it, and I think most men (at least at the beginning of their "fab journey") also do it. And still, if I got one or two responses for 20 well written, unique messages, that's not a bad result. (which doesn't mean that any of them are willing to meet...) And I think, this is the point when many men get frustrated and feel, there is no point investing the energy, so rather start to play the "numbers game" by spamming around one-liners to everyone, regardless if they match their criteria or not. And it worsens the situation for the girls which will lead to less response again... It's a spiral that leads to worse and worse... | |||
"You are all right who say that sending a message to someone doesn't make them owe you a response or read it. Agreed. But I look at this question from the other side, and I'm worried about the mental health damages that this can cause to some of the guys here who do not have enough self-confidence gained from the real-life success experiences on how to "get laid" or find a romantic/sex partner. I love traditional dating apps, normal nightclubs, parties and also swinger clubs and I think I'm quite successful in these, never had problems with getting along with girls and I can say that I'm VWE in terms of self-confidence. But if I wasn't, the amount of ignored messages or even direct rejections that I faced here could have destroyed my self-esteem for life. The other day a young chap started a thread here that he is about to have a very risky penis enlargement surgery, coz after being on this page for a while he feels he is not a man enough to make girls interested... He had both dick and face photos on his profile and I think he was above average both by the size and by his look in general. What many men don't notice here, is that we outnumber girls probably 100 to 1... When we send a message, we can't see and don't feel this crowd of men. When I open this page, all I see are hundreds of girls and couples in my area who are online and (at the end of the day) definitely here for finding sex. I don't see how huge is the crowd on my side... So when our (even politely and well written) messages are being regularly ignored, we can feel ourselves like the looser guy in the school who tries to be nice to all girls but none of them can give a shit about him. That's how "incels" are being made, the guys who will send you those frustrated and truly disgusting hate messages... However, in reality, the situation here is not like in real life, rather like if we were going to a Rihanna gig hoping to take her to date after... Numbers, m/f ratio make this... I think fab should show on each profile that approx how many messages they received in the previous 7 days or something like that. It doesn't need to tell us if they opened them, answered or anything like that, just give us a little hint about the size of the queue we are about to join. It could help men to understand their chances and not misinterpret the lack of answers as a sign of their low value as a man." I understand the fall in confidence I can’t really use the regular dating apps as the male half of a swing/poly couple. | |||
So, the learning that I took away from this story is that if you go for the hidden gems instead of the "shiniest shop windows", you can have way better chances. Another experience, (it also happened with my only FWB earlier I found here) is that when girls don't show a public photo here is not necessarily because they are not attractive, mostly they are genuinely worried about privacy. I'm very selective about the look, and both of these two girls were really good looking though none of them had any photos here. | |||
"I understand the fall in confidence I can’t really use the regular dating apps as the male half of a swing/poly couple." Why not? If your partner is aware of what you are doing, you can run profiles on regular dating apps too. I am always 100% honest to my dating partners about my intentions from the very beginning, I'm only interested in a relationship if I'm madly in love and after 10 minutes face to face chat I always know if it's about to happen or not. Happens usually once in a decade, so not that often haha...
So, I never lie to them, and those apps still working well, much better than this page... And you will be surprised how many of those girls are interested in trying the swinging scene too!  | |||
"I understand the fall in confidence I can’t really use the regular dating apps as the male half of a swing/poly couple. Why not? If your partner is aware of what you are doing, you can run profiles on regular dating apps too. I am always 100% honest to my dating partners about my intentions from the very beginning, I'm only interested in a relationship if I'm madly in love and after 10 minutes face to face chat I always know if it's about to happen or not. Happens usually once in a decade, so not that often haha...
So, I never lie to them, and those apps still working well, much better than this page... And you will be surprised how many of those girls are interested in trying the swinging scene too! "You’ll have to teach me because I’m awful at it | |||
"You’ll have to teach me because I’m awful at it" Did you mention that you are part of a couple? Let's arrange some drinks for the three of us and I'm happy to share experiences! | |||
"You’ll have to teach me because I’m awful at it Did you mention that you are part of a couple? Let's arrange some drinks for the three of us and I'm happy to share experiences! "Ha ha nice try | |||
"You are all right who say that sending a message to someone doesn't make them owe you a response or read it. Agreed. But I look at this question from the other side, and I'm worried about the mental health damages that this can cause to some of the guys here who do not have enough self-confidence gained from the real-life success experiences on how to "get laid" or find a romantic/sex partner. I love traditional dating apps, normal nightclubs, parties and also swinger clubs and I think I'm quite successful in these, never had problems with getting along with girls and I can say that I'm VWE in terms of self-confidence. But if I wasn't, the amount of ignored messages or even direct rejections that I faced here could have destroyed my self-esteem for life. The other day a young chap started a thread here that he is about to have a very risky penis enlargement surgery, coz after being on this page for a while he feels he is not a man enough to make girls interested... He had both dick and face photos on his profile and I think he was above average both by the size and by his look in general. What many men don't notice here, is that we outnumber girls probably 100 to 1... When we send a message, we can't see and don't feel this crowd of men. When I open this page, all I see are hundreds of girls and couples in my area who are online and (at the end of the day) definitely here for finding sex. I don't see how huge is the crowd on my side... So when our (even politely and well written) messages are being regularly ignored, we can feel ourselves like the looser guy in the school who tries to be nice to all girls but none of them can give a shit about him. That's how "incels" are being made, the guys who will send you those frustrated and truly disgusting hate messages... However, in reality, the situation here is not like in real life, rather like if we were going to a Rihanna gig hoping to take her to date after... Numbers, m/f ratio make this... I think fab should show on each profile that approx how many messages they received in the previous 7 days or something like that. It doesn't need to tell us if they opened them, answered or anything like that, just give us a little hint about the size of the queue we are about to join. It could help men to understand their chances and not misinterpret the lack of answers as a sign of their low value as a man. I understand the fall in confidence I can’t really use the regular dating apps as the male half of a swing/poly couple." Yes very few women are interested in a man who's part of a poly couple. | |||
"You are all right who say that sending a message to someone doesn't make them owe you a response or read it. Agreed. But I look at this question from the other side, and I'm worried about the mental health damages that this can cause to some of the guys here who do not have enough self-confidence gained from the real-life success experiences on how to "get laid" or find a romantic/sex partner. I love traditional dating apps, normal nightclubs, parties and also swinger clubs and I think I'm quite successful in these, never had problems with getting along with girls and I can say that I'm VWE in terms of self-confidence. But if I wasn't, the amount of ignored messages or even direct rejections that I faced here could have destroyed my self-esteem for life. The other day a young chap started a thread here that he is about to have a very risky penis enlargement surgery, coz after being on this page for a while he feels he is not a man enough to make girls interested... He had both dick and face photos on his profile and I think he was above average both by the size and by his look in general. What many men don't notice here, is that we outnumber girls probably 100 to 1... When we send a message, we can't see and don't feel this crowd of men. When I open this page, all I see are hundreds of girls and couples in my area who are online and (at the end of the day) definitely here for finding sex. I don't see how huge is the crowd on my side... So when our (even politely and well written) messages are being regularly ignored, we can feel ourselves like the looser guy in the school who tries to be nice to all girls but none of them can give a shit about him. That's how "incels" are being made, the guys who will send you those frustrated and truly disgusting hate messages... However, in reality, the situation here is not like in real life, rather like if we were going to a Rihanna gig hoping to take her to date after... Numbers, m/f ratio make this... I think fab should show on each profile that approx how many messages they received in the previous 7 days or something like that. It doesn't need to tell us if they opened them, answered or anything like that, just give us a little hint about the size of the queue we are about to join. It could help men to understand their chances and not misinterpret the lack of answers as a sign of their low value as a man. I understand the fall in confidence I can’t really use the regular dating apps as the male half of a swing/poly couple. Yes very few women are interested in a man who's part of a poly couple. " I know but I live in hope | |||
" I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. " It starts with "just read the bloody message", which leads to "when you've read it, just reply or bloody delete it", which opens the door to "why reply if you won't bloody meet? or Why delete and not bloody block me if I'm not for you?". The easiest option is to send a message then delete it from your sent items. If you sent a letter by snail mail, you can get a proof of delivery but you'll never know if it was read or eaten by the dog. Ignore your sent box or delete it regularly. If someone is interested, they'll reply. I know couples sometimes read a message then mark it unread until the other half reads it... | |||
" I get the ‘hundreds of messages so can’t reply to them all’ thing, but at least bloody read them. It starts with "just read the bloody message", which leads to "when you've read it, just reply or bloody delete it", which opens the door to "why reply if you won't bloody meet? or Why delete and not bloody block me if I'm not for you?". The easiest option is to send a message then delete it from your sent items. If you sent a letter by snail mail, you can get a proof of delivery but you'll never know if it was read or eaten by the dog. Ignore your sent box or delete it regularly. If someone is interested, they'll reply. I know couples sometimes read a message then mark it unread until the other half reads it... " This and also can I please add the caveat of not getting nasty, threatening or replying further if we do or don't read / reply / or delete the message   | |||
