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Struggling to cum
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By *ean counter OP Man
over a year ago
Kettering/ Market Harborough |
Strange question for the men.
I've recently started having sex with a new partner but am struggling to cum irrespective of what I try? This has never happened before. Last night we were at it for nearly 2 hours but still no release  anyone else had this? How do you mend it? I know a lot of men would probably be happy lasting longer but this ia ridiculous! |
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The most common reasons are.
1. You've become too used to the masterbation death grip of your cock. Try going without for a week, see how that changes it.
2. If you're on antidepressants they can stop you being able to cum.
3. You're too in your head, anxious or worrying about things during.
4. The annoyance and anxiety about not being able to cum can cause you to not be able to cum. |
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"Strange question for the men.
I've recently started having sex with a new partner but am struggling to cum irrespective of what I try? This has never happened before. Last night we were at it for nearly 2 hours but still no release anyone else had this? How do you mend it? I know a lot of men would probably be happy lasting longer but this ia ridiculous!"
I've been like that since I was 18.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The most common reasons are.
1. You've become too used to the masterbation death grip of your cock. Try going without for a week, see how that changes it.
2. If you're on antidepressants they can stop you being able to cum.
3. You're too in your head, anxious or worrying about things during.
4. The annoyance and anxiety about not being able to cum can cause you to not be able to cum."
Definitely agree with the 4th point |
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Quite glad this thread has been started I too seem to go on for hours before I cum
It's mostly a mental block with me as I cum very quickly when masturbating
You just need to relax and not over think things ....which I know is easier said than done |
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Great that and can sympathise, i have some times where I just give up cumming but doesn't bother me as much now. Other times I have sex and I have to stop otherwise I will cum early, then don't cum!
Frustrating but just enjoy the sex. Over thinking is the killer I think. |
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When I first met my current partner he struggled to cum for the first 2 weeks. We'd fuck for hours but nothing.
For him it started because he enjoyed fucking me that much that he mentally held off cumming, so he could prolong the pleasure for us both. But because he was doing that he then found it difficult to cum.
And yes, because we both were aware of his difficulties in cumming he then began to suffer anxiety about cumming which made this worse.
Over time though we both learnt to just enjoy sex and trust each other. He now hits the spot every time and cums on demand lol.
My advice, just enjoy sex and don't see cumming as your goal. Oh, also make sure she knows that she's hot as f**k and provides you great sex. I say this as my first thoughts were doubting myself, she'll need a little reassurance thats all. This probably won't help your anxieties though I get that. But its important she knows.
And as others have said, avoid anti-depressants if safe to do so or maybe speak to your Dr about changing the one your on. Specifically Sertraline. My partner went on this for a month and for a whole month he couldn't cum, he was rock hard. But the drug always prevented him from reaching orgasm.
I think part of it is that Sertraline prevented him from feeling his full emotions and orgasm is mostly a state of mind |
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Definitely a head thing ... Im the same with my wife , we have great sex and play for ages with out me cumming , I find it really really hard to cum and most of the time it's because I'm thinking of something else , it could be my wife's pleasure or how to stop that little squeek on the bed in case it disturbs the kids , sometimes it bugs me and I'd love to be able to have a quickie , most of the time we just enjoy it as it means we get to play for a good amount of time , and then sometimes we do manage a quickie
Just work on relaxing and letting the world go , I know easier said than done but it can be done |
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By *ean counter OP Man
over a year ago
Kettering/ Market Harborough |
"When I first met my current partner he struggled to cum for the first 2 weeks. We'd fuck for hours but nothing.
For him it started because he enjoyed fucking me that much that he mentally held off cumming, so he could prolong the pleasure for us both. But because he was doing that he then found it difficult to cum.
And yes, because we both were aware of his difficulties in cumming he then began to suffer anxiety about cumming which made this worse.
Over time though we both learnt to just enjoy sex and trust each other. He now hits the spot every time and cums on demand lol.
My advice, just enjoy sex and don't see cumming as your goal. Oh, also make sure she knows that she's hot as f**k and provides you great sex. I say this as my first thoughts were doubting myself, she'll need a little reassurance thats all. This probably won't help your anxieties though I get that. But its important she knows.
And as others have said, avoid anti-depressants if safe to do so or maybe speak to your Dr about changing the one your on. Specifically Sertraline. My partner went on this for a month and for a whole month he couldn't cum, he was rock hard. But the drug always prevented him from reaching orgasm.
I think part of it is that Sertraline prevented him from feeling his full emotions and orgasm is mostly a state of mind"
Yes all sounds about right ! No antidepressants here so can rule that out! I've never know anything like it ? Oh well, more practice required  |
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"When I first met my current partner he struggled to cum for the first 2 weeks. We'd fuck for hours but nothing.
For him it started because he enjoyed fucking me that much that he mentally held off cumming, so he could prolong the pleasure for us both. But because he was doing that he then found it difficult to cum.
And yes, because we both were aware of his difficulties in cumming he then began to suffer anxiety about cumming which made this worse.
Over time though we both learnt to just enjoy sex and trust each other. He now hits the spot every time and cums on demand lol.
My advice, just enjoy sex and don't see cumming as your goal. Oh, also make sure she knows that she's hot as f**k and provides you great sex. I say this as my first thoughts were doubting myself, she'll need a little reassurance thats all. This probably won't help your anxieties though I get that. But its important she knows.
And as others have said, avoid anti-depressants if safe to do so or maybe speak to your Dr about changing the one your on. Specifically Sertraline. My partner went on this for a month and for a whole month he couldn't cum, he was rock hard. But the drug always prevented him from reaching orgasm.
I think part of it is that Sertraline prevented him from feeling his full emotions and orgasm is mostly a state of mind"
Know all about sertraline! Will never take that again ever! |
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"Know all about sertraline! Will never take that again ever!"
He found it great for his depression, really helped him overcome some difficult times.
The only negative we found was it affecting his ability to reach orgasm. Other than that small issue  it was perfect |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"The most common reasons are.
1. You've become too used to the masterbation death grip of your cock. Try going without for a week, see how that changes it.
2. If you're on antidepressants they can stop you being able to cum.
3. You're too in your head, anxious or worrying about things during.
4. The annoyance and anxiety about not being able to cum can cause you to not be able to cum.
Definitely agree with the 4th point"
Yes to the above.
Lube is brilliant for her, but too much can be bad for him: we need friction and pressure as well as a faster rhythm.
Men have two places that send back signals to the brain, the penis and the eyes, never under estimate how much us males are very visual creatures.
Also, check your T-levels as this is very important. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
""Know all about sertraline! Will never take that again ever!"
He found it great for his depression, really helped him overcome some difficult times.
The only negative we found was it affecting his ability to reach orgasm. Other than that small issue it was perfect "
This is so true.
Supportive partners: we salute you.
x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This happened to me with someone I slept with a few times. The sex was amazing and I was really attracted to her but no matter what I couldn’t cum. I think it can just happen with some people. |
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