Hey everyone! A bit of advice needed please 
I know this is different for everyone but we’ve been to our 5th club visit now and after taking a back seat and seeing club etiquette and finding our feet, we’re both ready and wanting to start playing with other people/couples when we go. We were hoping it would happen on the weekend but it unfortunately didn’t.
We aren’t sure how people go about getting to the ‘playing stage’ with other people and couples. We spoke to many lovely couples and would have loved to have played but we are so new to this still so aren’t sure how to take that next step? 3
All advice appreciated and private messages welcome also!
Thank you in advance,
Mrs M xxx |
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Ask them
Tell them you are going to a room and they are welcome to join you
If people are in a room where group play is taking place or a couple are in an open room, ask if they want company, if it would be ok to join them
Everything with swinging requires communication some people may be ok with another couple playing next to them others maybe happy for you to join in, the only way to know for sure is to ask |
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If you're chatting to someone you can generally tell if play might be on the cards, though it will come with experience. If there's a lot of flirting and compliments being exchanged, it's a case of someone saying "we're going for a play if you want to join us". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Confidence is clubs is a hard one we still have never had a spontaneous meet at a club the only time we have played at clubs is when we have a greed to meet couples there and it’s progressed from there. |
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As everyone else has said….
If we meet a couple and hit it off it’s a “we are going upstairs/to a room, would you like to join us”
We have found it works well…we only play with couples so it’s a lot different for us though possibly
Mr Y |
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Saturday was only our third club visit, we only joined this site in January so we’re super new to everything. We also aren’t club goers or big socialisers outside of our friendship circles so we find it really difficult to even speak to people. We hadn’t interacted with anyone else properly until Saturday, we managed to actually have conversations with other couples and found that side of things easier. We hadn’t spoken to anyone we wanted to play with though and we’re still a little hesitant about the physical side of it. We played together in a few different areas so we both felt more relaxed when we had a chat with another couple and the girl was looking for something quite specific, I suggested a slight compromise and she was happy with it so we went to the couples room. It helped that it was empty by then so we felt more comfortable. What started out as one thing led to more but there was communication the whole way through, she asked if I was happy with things and she checked she could do what she wanted to do before she did it and her fella kept to focussing on her which helped us. It was our first experience and it was perfect for us but with it happening at the end of the night we really did think we’d be going home without having managed that hurdle again.
Like everyone else has said, if you’re chatting with a couple you like the look of and you’ve both given each other that nod then you can say you’re going off to play and ask if they’d like to go too. Read the situation and act accordingly. We did get lucky that we met a woman who was very confident and vocal and I managed to find the confidence to speak to her and suggest something we were happy with doing.
Alternatively, get chatting to people on here and arrange to meet them at the club before you go. If the vibe checks out then you may find it easier to invite them to a room.
C x |
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"Hey everyone! A bit of advice needed please
I know this is different for everyone but we’ve been to our 5th club visit now and after taking a back seat and seeing club etiquette and finding our feet, we’re both ready and wanting to start playing with other people/couples when we go. We were hoping it would happen on the weekend but it unfortunately didn’t.
We aren’t sure how people go about getting to the ‘playing stage’ with other people and couples. We spoke to many lovely couples and would have loved to have played but we are so new to this still so aren’t sure how to take that next step? 3
All advice appreciated and private messages welcome also!
Thank you in advance,
Mrs M xxx"
This is a really good question. I think many people are just like you, we still are!!
Our first couple of visits we didn’t gave a clue and also talked with people that we would have been bolder with now. We started to put meets up on fab to see who else might be going and who we might fancy. This has led to some no shows, but often we have met people and had a good chat, some of them we have met and managed a lot more than a chat 
We are bolder now and don’t wait for others to ask, after all we all go to Clubs fir broadly similar reasons. We are also way better at rejection now, and way better at rejecting politely 
Have fun and if you ever see us, say hi!  |
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I (Anya) actually prefer club play to social meets. I get very anxious on a social, feel I am being judged, like a 1st date !! Lol.. whereas at a club I can make those spur of the moment decisions and just go for it, take the bull by the horns so to speak
It'll either be a yes or no but I don't feel any pressure to act a certain way or have time to run which i feel like on socials ... each to their own but embrace it, enjoy it and more importantly OWN IT!
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There's a real risk of over thinking or making more of a game of it than needs be. If the feeling is right with people and that's what you desire it is simply a matter of (as others have said) just asking or suggesting you take things to another space. In a club we are all there for similar things. If they desire it too they'll say yes, in not they won't. And naturally part of it is being ok with the possibility of getting a no thanks too. One of the biggest frustrations many people in clubs experience is they and everyone else are just too shy to ask. |
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Being in a club and chatting to people is just like being at any social event and chatting to people. Be curious about who they are, and ask questions but not in an interviewing kinda way.
Maintain eye contact, flirt and if the feeling is mutual, just say “do you fancy grabbing a room and exploring this amazing chemistry together”. Works every time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have only ever been to a club once as quite new to this whole scene.
We just got chatting at the bar to people then went to play alone in the big room. Saw a couple on the big bed that we had been chatting to and it just kind of happened.. Ended up the 6 of us which was unexpected but also extremely exciting |
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