FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Getting noticed..
Getting noticed..
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
Afternoon folks, hope we are all doing well.
I'm looking for a bit of advice. I know we all must be tired of guys moaning about how they can't get meets or even get people to chat with them but I'm wondering if anyone can offer me some advice with my profile. Any tips/pointers/what I should/shouldn't add etc I feel happy/content with what I wrote but fear it doesn't stand out or the opposite in which it's quite stand off-ish
Any and all help is greatly appreciated. Also, be rest assured I won't flood anyone's inboxes after they reply to this thread. I'm genuinely just looking for pointers etc.
Thank you in advance folks  |
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It's not bad!
Question always what you're aiming to share and what could be perceived by viewers.
Cut out superfluous waffle, that will likely just distract, bore or confuse people. Assume you have 1 chance to get attention and need to sustain itm
I get that you're looking for fwb, NSA and also like some kink. Plus you're free at weekends. Could you expand on that somewhat?
If you can merge in what your strengths are, what you're offering/bringing to the party, it could highlight you more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mate I am new here too and can totally relate to you. I am totally incompetent to advise anything but would say, don't take things personally as the the major reason of not getting reply is not you, it's mostly the M:F ratio getting blown out of proportion. I bet you would have much better chances when someone sees you or meets you f2f. Be a man and own your insecurities and imperfections. Wear them like a medal and don't try to force yourself to be someone's type because even if you get laid through that it would be an unpleasant sex. Fab is not different from other dating sites, so the basic rule of attraction between men and women would be still the same as real life.I am sure more experienced people would advise you much better. Wish you all the best mate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I zoomed in on the messy bedroom. As you don't list crossdressing in your bio, I'd assume you're living with a woman due to the range of cosmetics on display. That'd be a no from me... Purely based on the fact you state you can accomadate? But I'm not a fan of nipping round someone's whilst the Mrs is at work....
Also if you can't be arsed to make your bed, I'd question other hygiene attitudes  |
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
Okay, thank you for the general advice guys. I'll have an overhaul of the profile when I get home from work this evening.
The woman products in the bedroom are my mother's. I am staying with my parents until such a time that I find a place suitable to my requirements. I've recently split with my partner (had a couples profile here) so that's why I'm here and why I can't accommodate unfortunately. It's really not ideal haha The bed always get made and was done after I took the photo but I can see how that can cause issues outlined.
Thank you again guys for your inputs. Very much appreciated  |
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
"Mate I am new here too and can totally relate to you. I am totally incompetent to advise anything but would say, don't take things personally as the the major reason of not getting reply is not you, it's mostly the M:F ratio getting blown out of proportion. I bet you would have much better chances when someone sees you or meets you f2f. Be a man and own your insecurities and imperfections. Wear them like a medal and don't try to force yourself to be someone's type because even if you get laid through that it would be an unpleasant sex. Fab is not different from other dating sites, so the basic rule of attraction between men and women would be still the same as real life.I am sure more experienced people would advise you much better. Wish you all the best mate. "
Ohh I know all to well the ratio is insane and there is a lot of single guys out there that really do spoil it for everyone else. Whether it's because they think they are gods gift, fragile egos and just can't handle rejection. Also, the amount of people I see/hear getting unsolicited stuff must be torture for single girls and couples alike. Luckily, I don't take anything too heart or let it get me down. I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Would love to have the confidence to attend socials/clubs by myself haha Anyways dude, thank you for your well wishes and I return the wishes to yourself too. |
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
"Your profile says you can accommodate "
Ahh yes. I see, thank you for bringing that to my attention. I'll correct it all and update it when I get home. Totally went over my head that detail. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no body ruins it for anybody other than themselves ...so people like nothing better than to blame others for there down falls ... nope sorry the main reason your getting nowhere is because there are zillions of you ...you get out of this scene what you put in ..effort ... and that starts with your profile ..YOUR profile only you know you only you know why your here ...its your profile own it rather than ask for advice that gives you a boring profile like all the others who have asked
stand out be you if you cant do that then this lifestyle is really not for you
ps you'll need thick skin and you'll need to learn how to handle rejection |
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
"no body ruins it for anybody other than themselves ...so people like nothing better than to blame others for there down falls ... nope sorry the main reason your getting nowhere is because there are zillions of you ...you get out of this scene what you put in ..effort ... and that starts with your profile ..YOUR profile only you know you only you know why your here ...its your profile own it rather than ask for advice that gives you a boring profile like all the others who have asked
stand out be you if you cant do that then this lifestyle is really not for you
ps you'll need thick skin and you'll need to learn how to handle rejection"
Okay, perfect. Thank you for your advice. I'll look into making it more lucrative for others to enquire as soon as possible. As stated above, I have a thick skin and handle rejection well and dignified so that's one less thing I have to worry about I suppose lol
Going to delete this thread now as I've been given the tips/help needed. Thank you folks |
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Speaking for ourselves, the main advice I would give is to have something to talk about other than sex. Most guys who contact us that seem ready to talk (as opposed to one's who think we'll just jump straight into bed him because he sent us a cock pic and a faf message) tend to ask us about our experiences swinging, our turn-ons, favourite position etc. and not much else. We don't get any pleasure from telling a total stranger about our sex life. If it excites him then he's doing it for him and not for us, which is not a good start.
The people we are far more interested in are people who have interests outside of sex. If we ever were to get up to anything with a Fab guy it would start by him being able to hold a conversation about various things. When there's a real connection with somebody we like who doesn't overtly have an agenda, that's when things stand a chance of happening. |
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"I’m in the same boat as the op so carefully making a note !
Your profile probably is the reason especially your pictures
Explain please !
Maybe it’s the action shots "
Omg... I wish I hadn't looked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m in the same boat as the op so carefully making a note !
Your profile probably is the reason especially your pictures
Explain please !
Maybe it’s the action shots
Omg... I wish I hadn't looked"
Pretty pretty pretty….. tame compared to some. At least there are no bodily fluids just two people enjoying sex ! |
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
"Speaking for ourselves, the main advice I would give is to have something to talk about other than sex. Most guys who contact us that seem ready to talk (as opposed to one's who think we'll just jump straight into bed him because he sent us a cock pic and a faf message) tend to ask us about our experiences swinging, our turn-ons, favourite position etc. and not much else. We don't get any pleasure from telling a total stranger about our sex life. If it excites him then he's doing it for him and not for us, which is not a good start.
The people we are far more interested in are people who have interests outside of sex. If we ever were to get up to anything with a Fab guy it would start by him being able to hold a conversation about various things. When there's a real connection with somebody we like who doesn't overtly have an agenda, that's when things stand a chance of happening. "
Hello guys! Thank you so much for the feedback. As previously stated, I am appreciative of all feedback giving from everyone.
It's taken me a few days to try and express myself through my profile and feel like I've made some progress with it. Sex isn't the single, ultimate goal for me. It's to find like minded people whom I can have a friendly, normal drink/meal/evenings with as well as the filth. So very much on the same wavelength as yourselves and others but trying to portray that is difficult. |
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"I’m in the same boat as the op so carefully making a note !
Your profile probably is the reason especially your pictures
Explain please !
Maybe it’s the action shots
Omg... I wish I hadn't looked
Pretty pretty pretty….. tame compared to some. At least there are no bodily fluids just two people enjoying sex !"
But your a single male profile. Do you really think single ladies want to see that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't tell you the number of action pictures I have seen from couples and single women, so the OP is fine with action shots.
My view is I wouldn't ask for advice as it is always the same, go to a club, but I have yet to see that on this thread yet,
Go to a social, in other words spend money that's not me, if that's you then its all good. |
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"I’m in the same boat as the op so carefully making a note !
Your profile probably is the reason especially your pictures
Explain please !
Maybe it’s the action shots
Omg... I wish I hadn't looked
Pretty pretty pretty….. tame compared to some. At least there are no bodily fluids just two people enjoying sex !
But your a single male profile. Do you really think single ladies want to see that? "
We really don't... Even more so when they state safe sex and it shows them having unprotected sex!
I don't want to see where you've been before me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Even more so when they state safe sex and it shows them having unprotected sex!
I don't want to see where you've been before me. "
My biggest peev is exactly that. People who scream they only do safe sex yet have pictures clearly showing BB. That goes for women not just men. If you want safe sex make sure you actually practice what you preach. |
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" Even more so when they state safe sex and it shows them having unprotected sex!
I don't want to see where you've been before me.
My biggest peev is exactly that. People who scream they only do safe sex yet have pictures clearly showing BB. That goes for women not just men. If you want safe sex make sure you actually practice what you preach."
As a single women on here I totally agree  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As a single women on here I totally agree "
Chatted to women other day she insisted i bring my own condoms which is fine as she said safe sex only on profile yet nearly all her pics bad cum running out her with varies cocks etc. Some people are just too much  |
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
"I can't tell you the number of action pictures I have seen from couples and single women, so the OP is fine with action shots.
My view is I wouldn't ask for advice as it is always the same, go to a club, but I have yet to see that on this thread yet,
Go to a social, in other words spend money that's not me, if that's you then its all good."
I am the OP here and I have no action shots on my profile.. either on public ot friends only. You have me confused with the older gent on here lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m in the same boat as the op so carefully making a note !
Your profile probably is the reason especially your pictures
Explain please !
Maybe it’s the action shots
Omg... I wish I hadn't looked
Pretty pretty pretty….. tame compared to some. At least there are no bodily fluids just two people enjoying sex !
But your a single male profile. Do you really think single ladies want to see that? "
sorry OP I was answering the thread above, my bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m in the same boat as the op so carefully making a note !
Your profile probably is the reason especially your pictures
Explain please !
Maybe it’s the action shots
Omg... I wish I hadn't looked
Pretty pretty pretty….. tame compared to some. At least there are no bodily fluids just two people enjoying sex !
But your a single male profile. Do you really think single ladies want to see that?
We really don't... Even more so when they state safe sex and it shows them having unprotected sex!
I don't want to see where you've been before me. "
Just for the record I DO practice safe sex the picture shown is of me with a long time partner. |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"
As a single women on here I totally agree
Chatted to women other day she insisted i bring my own condoms which is fine as she said safe sex only on profile yet nearly all her pics bad cum running out her with varies cocks etc. Some people are just too much "
So you were still messaging her, despite those pics? Presumably mulitple times if you got to the stage of who's bringing what... Did you meet her? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As a single women on here I totally agree
Chatted to women other day she insisted i bring my own condoms which is fine as she said safe sex only on profile yet nearly all her pics bad cum running out her with varies cocks etc. Some people are just too much
So you were still messaging her, despite those pics? Presumably mulitple times if you got to the stage of who's bringing what... Did you meet her?"
All the pics were friends only and i didnt get to see those until further into chat. No i didnt meet her and not because of the BB but because of the fact she lied about it saying safe sex when she clearly lies. Red flag for me as prefer honesty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well.. this thread has went off topic a little! Haha "
On topic as a stocky man that silly hairstyle looks childish and the beard makes you look older than you are. Ger rid of both and you will look younger. Just my opinion but its the little things that could be holding you back. |
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"Well.. this thread has went off topic a little! Haha
On topic as a stocky man that silly hairstyle looks childish and the beard makes you look older than you are. Ger rid of both and you will look younger. Just my opinion but its the little things that could be holding you back."
You went totally off topic. He asked for profile advice! Don't you ever tell anyone they should change their appearance especially when not asked for. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Well.. this thread has went off topic a little! Haha
On topic as a stocky man that silly hairstyle looks childish and the beard makes you look older than you are. Ger rid of both and you will look younger. Just my opinion but its the little things that could be holding you back.
You went totally off topic. He asked for profile advice! Don't you ever tell anyone they should change their appearance especially when not asked for. "
I agree not cool |
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
"Well.. this thread has went off topic a little! Haha
On topic as a stocky man that silly hairstyle looks childish and the beard makes you look older than you are. Ger rid of both and you will look younger. Just my opinion but its the little things that could be holding you back."
Ohh snap. Well, I can only say that I can't knock your opinion but I am happy with how I look. So please don't try to bring me down for it. Thank you. Not that I owe you or anyone an explanation on why I look the way I do but I have a strong liking towards vikings/Nordic stuff so that's why I appear as I do. I get plenty of compliments about how I look, love the long hair and beard etc
As other people have commented on here, I looked for advice and recieved a lot of great advice and my profile has been updated to reflect that. Not to be asked on how I appear. Thank you for the concern though |
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"Well.. this thread has went off topic a little! Haha
On topic as a stocky man that silly hairstyle looks childish and the beard makes you look older than you are. Ger rid of both and you will look younger. Just my opinion but its the little things that could be holding you back.
Ohh snap. Well, I can only say that I can't knock your opinion but I am happy with how I look. So please don't try to bring me down for it. Thank you. Not that I owe you or anyone an explanation on why I look the way I do but I have a strong liking towards vikings/Nordic stuff so that's why I appear as I do. I get plenty of compliments about how I look, love the long hair and beard etc
As other people have commented on here, I looked for advice and recieved a lot of great advice and my profile has been updated to reflect that. Not to be asked on how I appear. Thank you for the concern though "
It's especially laughable when coming from a black squiggle.
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By *eeCee90 OP Man
over a year ago
Dundee/Forfar |
"It's especially laughable when coming from a black squiggle.
"
Yeah, I didn't notice it until I looked at the profile to be fair. No point creating an argument or a scene about  Thank you for defending me above though. It's greatly appreciated.
I wished you could delete threads when not needed/required anymore. |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"It's especially laughable when coming from a black squiggle.
Yeah, I didn't notice it until I looked at the profile to be fair. No point creating an argument or a scene about Thank you for defending me above though. It's greatly appreciated.
I wished you could delete threads when not needed/required anymore."
Technically it's achievable - threads that get so toxic that a mod will just take the lot away.
I wouldn't recommend that course of action though. |
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"Afternoon folks, hope we are all doing well.
I'm looking for a bit of advice. I know we all must be tired of guys moaning about how they can't get meets or even get people to chat with them but I'm wondering if anyone can offer me some advice with my profile. Any tips/pointers/what I should/shouldn't add etc I feel happy/content with what I wrote but fear it doesn't stand out or the opposite in which it's quite stand off-ish
Any and all help is greatly appreciated. Also, be rest assured I won't flood anyone's inboxes after they reply to this thread. I'm genuinely just looking for pointers etc.
Thank you in advance folks "
Do searches that are couples seeking couples-some want men also profiles with no pictures.. sometimes people just want to be discreet. |
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"I'll be brutal... I don't want to see your messy bedroom that looks like it belongs to a teenager. That is not attractive to women. Other pics are good."
I stumbled upon this thread too late to see his messy bedroom. Wanted to compare it with mine!
Would be a good idea if people implemented suggested changes only when the thread reaches 175 posts. |
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"I know we all must be tired of guys moaning about how they can't get meets or even get people to chat with them
Correct, definitely bored of it.
Remember folks, poor profiles are the best filter "
And cock shots..lots and lots of cock shots.Over the toilet and top of my list |
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"I'll be brutal... I don't want to see your messy bedroom that looks like it belongs to a teenager. That is not attractive to women. Other pics are good.
I stumbled upon this thread too late to see his messy bedroom. Wanted to compare it with mine!
Would be a good idea if people implemented suggested changes only when the thread reaches 175 posts."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Remember folks, poor profiles are the best filter"
totally this.... this is why im so against profile advice i want to see the real them not the fake by someone else |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"I'll be brutal... I don't want to see your messy bedroom that looks like it belongs to a teenager. That is not attractive to women. Other pics are good.
I stumbled upon this thread too late to see his messy bedroom. Wanted to compare it with mine!
Would be a good idea if people implemented suggested changes only when the thread reaches 175 posts."
Most profile advice ones don't get past 20, and no responses from the relevant OP.
...and they hardly ever take any advice .
Hold on, I think your suggestion may already be in use! |
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"
..
And cock shots..lots and lots of cock shots.Over the toilet and top of my list "
What can possibly be wrong with 'over the toilet' shots? I thought people liked to see pictures of cocks in (or anticipating) action! |
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"
..
And cock shots..lots and lots of cock shots.Over the toilet and top of my list
What can possibly be wrong with 'over the toilet' shots? I thought people liked to see pictures of cocks in (or anticipating) action!"
Yes but only if they have skid marks on the loo bowl |
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"Remember folks, poor profiles are the best filter
totally this.... this is why im so against profile advice i want to see the real them not the fake by someone else"
Absoluty I agree. I only jumped on this one due to the squiggly black mark man comment. I want see a guys profile how he thought it should be, not after we all told threm. |
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"Well.. this thread has went off topic a little! Haha
On topic as a stocky man that silly hairstyle looks childish and the beard makes you look older than you are. Ger rid of both and you will look younger. Just my opinion but its the little things that could be holding you back."
Harsh. Not sure how he can look childish and old at the same time though |
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"Well.. this thread has went off topic a little! Haha
On topic as a stocky man that silly hairstyle looks childish and the beard makes you look older than you are. Ger rid of both and you will look younger. Just my opinion but its the little things that could be holding you back.
Harsh. Not sure how he can look childish and old at the same time though "
Perhaps he is an oxymoron? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey folks...iv been on the site a while with zero luck...I'm afraid I dnt have enough on my profile and don't wanna put to much..any advice is appreciated |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Hey folks...iv been on the site a while with zero luck...I'm afraid I dnt have enough on my profile and don't wanna put to much..any advice is appreciated "
Think you have answered your own question there |
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"Hey folks...iv been on the site a while with zero luck...I'm afraid I dnt have enough on my profile and don't wanna put to much..any advice is appreciated "
You need to start your own thread, its rude to take over someone elses |
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There’s all the usual advice:
- Be creative and have a fun profile, don’t be boring
- Really think about your pics
- Don’t show dick/sex acts as it puts a lot of ladies off
- There’s a lot of guys, some girls and a lot of couples. Odds are against you.
Then there’s my personal experience, that if you’re looking for hookups you probably need to be on Tinder/dating apps. When I was looking I had for more success there and even met a few people who already knew about fab. I’ve never made it to a club (though would imagine we will one day) but is also hazard a guess that you’d fair better as a personable chap, in person. |
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