FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Struggling to find a threesum
Struggling to find a threesum
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Hi there
So new to all this and would really welcome so good advice .it seems really hard on here to get responses . I feel like I’ve sent a million winks with hardly any return is that normal ? Also has anyone been successful in finding a girl for a threesum as that is what we as a male female couple are searching for x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd rather a message than a wink. So maybe try messaging instead of winking. I know I'm not the only person that thinks they're a lazy way of expressing interest. |
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OP, single females are in short supply on here and those that are may not be looking for couples. As above, try messaging and introducing yourselves rather than winks which will often simply be ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like winks but many here don't.
I see them as a way to grab someone's attention to your profile without bothering them with a message, to which they have to decide on whether to reply or not.
They can then wink back and the first winker respond with a message.
Others here feel a wink is lazy.
My advice would be, express upon your profile what you actually seek and what you can bring to the party.
As mentioned above, if looking for a threesome with a third joining you, then be sure to show you both in your profile.
Step up from winks to messages and maybe there you could share pictures of you both if you don't want them public.
A good message catches the eye, along with a good profile.
Read their profile to see if you may be compatible, if so, then message them and highlight what about their profile stood out to you.
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They're called unicorns for a reason 
Deffo need pics of both of you and what is the female half bringing to this if you're straight?
Surely the woman you're looking for might as well just meet a single guy? |
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"Hi there
So new to all this and would really welcome so good advice .it seems really hard on here to get responses . I feel like I’ve sent a million winks with hardly any return is that normal ? Also has anyone been successful in finding a girl for a threesum as that is what we as a male female couple are searching for x"
If your looking for a lady to join most would want to see the male half of the couple, I won't reply to profiles without pics of the man, also I do like a wink but a message shows more effort.
Mrs |
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Also what can you offer the woman joining you, there's not much in your profile to make people interested, as the female is straight I'm assuming it's another woman with the bf who there's no photos of? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep I definitely agree with others. If you're playing as a couple then the extra woman needs to be able to see both of you. As I bi curious female it really frustrates me when couples only post pics of the lady apart from an odd cock here and there. I get that women attract more fabs etc but it won't attract a female looking to play with men. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Basically what everyone else said . I think most females on here want to play with the other female half rather than the male side "
That's not what people have said if anything they have said they want to see the man of the couple as well seeing just the woman is a turn off for a lot .Most women do not want to be a plaything for a couple it should be mutual fun for all involved.
And a profile that says both are straight and has no pics of the man would be a red flag for especially as it's women they want to meet. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Hi there
So new to all this and would really welcome so good advice .it seems really hard on here to get responses . I feel like I’ve sent a million winks with hardly any return is that normal ? Also has anyone been successful in finding a girl for a threesum as that is what we as a male female couple are searching for x"
I don’t think sending out winks is the way to go a message is far better.Depending if you can travel I would consider attending clubs as you may find a single lady or a couple who are seeking similar to you.Again also if you can travel there are various socials where you can meet other people and maybe make a connection and maybe meeting up in the future or even having fun on the day / night.Best of luck with your search |
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People that know me will be aware that I can be cynical, so I apologise now if I'm wrong. I wonder at the genuineness of the profile ,no pics of couple together, would the female be suddenly unavailable to meet?you get the idea. Profile needs to be more detailed, and maybe verified as a couple. |
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Exactly as others have said, what is there for me as a single lady if I meet the two of you? There is plenty of photos of the lady but as she is straight, those are irrelevant from my perspective. I would need photos of the man, to see if I feel any kind of sexual attraction to him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our very first meet from here was a single lady for threesome, it was so straightforward it gave us a false impression of how easy it was, and it was within a week of us being on the site too. Since then it seems almost impossible although we have met and are meeting again a lady we made contact with on a more fetish based site.
Mrs Y |
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"We have met 2 off this site so far and BOTH turned up, 100% record so far for us lol"
Would you mind sharing your secret? We are in the same position as the OP but we send messages not winks. Starting to feel that it may never happen  |
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By *ihmMan
over a year ago
West Wales |
"This site is awful for meets, but a good place to keep in touch with real people who we meet in clubs........ "
We are the same, haven't found it awful necessarily, it obviously works for some people. But meeting in person is just so much more fun for us and less like hard work.
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"Hi there
So new to all this and would really welcome so good advice .it seems really hard on here to get responses . I feel like I’ve sent a million winks with hardly any return is that normal ? Also has anyone been successful in finding a girl for a threesum as that is what we as a male female couple are searching for x"
Winks are or tend to be a little bit better than useless.
We had had quite a few threesomes, sometimes the lady visiting us, sometimes me visiting the couple.
Initial contact has been overwhelmingly from parties or clubs and once from a swingers holiday.
Get yourself out and about and see how you get on.
Good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi there
So new to all this and would really welcome so good advice .it seems really hard on here to get responses . I feel like I’ve sent a million winks with hardly any return is that normal ? Also has anyone been successful in finding a girl for a threesum as that is what we as a male female couple are searching for x"
your best bet will always be in clubs.... start social... its worth it |
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If you not opposed to going to clubs these have always been a successful place for us. Maybe a couples and single ladies only night? The chances are single ladies who are there are there for the express purpose of finding couples to play with (on other nights some single ladies aren't looking for couples). Even if your not looking to play in the club environment you can take the opportunity to meet, befriend and swap details with single ladies (or female halves who play alone) with a view to arrange something outside of the club. Also either way hopefully you'll have a fun night and maybe find some mischief. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had some very successful meets with couples, but I prefer to seek those of interest to me, rather than be approached.
I am far more drawn to the female half when meeting couples, that said, I would need to build a connection with both for the dynamic to work well.
I will look at profile to see if mutual fun for all is being offered, as I have no interest in taking one for the team, and female must be bi also  |
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"If you not opposed to going to clubs these have always been a successful place for us. Maybe a couples and single ladies only night? The chances are single ladies who are there are there for the express purpose of finding couples to play with (on other nights some single ladies aren't looking for couples). Even if your not looking to play in the club environment you can take the opportunity to meet, befriend and swap details with single ladies (or female halves who play alone) with a view to arrange something outside of the club. Also either way hopefully you'll have a fun night and maybe find some mischief."
This sounds like very good advice. We have talked about visiting clubs but think we are worried about attracting unwanted attention and just not knowing how it all works. Couples/single ladies nights sound like the way forward and we will start looking into this I think.  |
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"Well it certainly isn’t "
Personally, I tend to feel that a profile with plenty of photos of us both and enough text to allow those who might be interested know what we are offering/looking for gives the best starting point.
Anita's biggest bugbear on this site is couples profiles with no couples photos... or pics of the bloke at all.
Cal |
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Better off attending a few clubs or parties.
Good mix of people and almost no timewasters or dreamers.
The percentage of timewasters on this site and many more similar sites is massive.
It's just the nature of the beast and you will take forever to find a lady.
Good luck in your search.
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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago
Wirral |
"We have met 2 off this site so far and BOTH turned up, 100% record so far for us lol
That's a record!"
One arsehole blew us out at a social meet end of August, the 100% record has gone now.
His loss, |
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I’m a single woman.
I don’t look at winks. Ever.
Your profile tells me nothing about the dynamic and what you actually want. Are you both looking to play, just you, just him?
I get tons of messages
And I’m wary about meeting anyone outside of a club. |
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"Well it certainly isn’t
Personally, I tend to feel that a profile with plenty of photos of us both and enough text to allow those who might be interested know what we are offering/looking for gives the best starting point.
Anita's biggest bugbear on this site is couples profiles with no couples photos... or pics of the bloke at all.
Cal"
Me too. If I’m playing with a couple I want to know what both of you look like. If I get a message from a couple and they have no pics of both I just ignore it block.
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"i think clubs are the way forward for you reason being your partner has an amazing figure which will turn heads,also you could go with no expectations and just see what happens."
It might be shes too amazing. It might make other fems feel your out of their league. - just saying. |
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We're lucky enough to have several lady friends of wildly varying ages we share in bed both here in UK and abroad in winter.
Only one came from fab contact, the others we managed to charm by just being friendly, chatty and a few light-hearted 'suggestions'.
H is very bi and over a few drinks might suggest fun to another woman. It can either be laughed away as simply saucy, but on occasions is discussed further if interest is there.
Softly, softly works for us. |
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"Thank you so much x I don’t know why but I thought it may easier been to a few clubs as well but single but curious ladies very scarce x"
Clubs are a great way to do it some clubs have events that are just couples and single ladies |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
when we started this scene nearly 30 years ago bi women were easy to find and plentyful however as the years have gone by less and less want to be ''the show piece'' less and less fancy the male half or the pushy directing male (yep they are out there) also there are far less single women on the scene now and same with couples
me if im looking for fem on fem i dont look to the scene ill look at a night out at a local gay club or gay night plenty of hot women there that want fun |
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From the POV of a single woman....
I want change the body type of your partner to 'athletic'. If I looked at your profile at a glance and saw that you had selected ample, I would take it that he was very overweight. That's not my preference, probably wouldn't get to the photos (call me shallow, but when it comes to sexual attraction, we all have our preferences).
Secondly, I don't even check my winks. When a couple are messaging a single female, from a personal experience a lot of the time it feels like people want to use me as an experiment or a pawn in their fantasy. Be mindful to make your message sound like you are equally interested in what you can offer to a single female and not just what you want from them.
Good luck xx |
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