FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > New 'Single' Women
New 'Single' Women
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know many single blokes go on and on about not getting a meet instantly, but how on earth do the new single women cope when they register on this site??
In my local area in the last two weeks TWO of the 'new' single women have commented on their profiles about the number of messages they get. The first one posted she had received 723 messages within a couple of days of joining the site! Another (who has only been on just over 24 hours!) has posted that she has had over 700 messages so far!
How on earth can you cope with that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first came on here, in the first 3 days I had well over 500 messages, then I figured out how to use filters!
Recently, took off all the filters though, seems people have taken the hint! I get messages from people I want, and probably 25 - 50 a week from people I don't, but I can cope with that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could never cope with that many messages. I get about 5 a day at the minute and that's enough to cope with. But my couples profile gets about 20 a day I leave them for her to deal with and they are all from men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember chatting to a guy a while back, when I was a new 'un!
His theory on why so many guys, including him, bombard women at first is because he seemed to think that women would hook up with a regular or two and that would be that. So they have to get in there quick if they are going to have a chance.
Anyone else come across that theory? Seems better suited to a dating site than here? But what do I know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember chatting to a guy a while back, when I was a new 'un!
His theory on why so many guys, including him, bombard women at first is because he seemed to think that women would hook up with a regular or two and that would be that. So they have to get in there quick if they are going to have a chance.
Anyone else come across that theory? Seems better suited to a dating site than here? But what do I know?"
I've kinda found that I get inundated and pissed off and revert back to the old faithfuls I know and trust plus there's the newbies get all excited and carried away by all the choice in first few weeks and more likely to play with guys they wouldn't go near after sussing the site out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember my first few days here, they were comin' in faster than I could open them, it was quite scary actually. I found the 'Filters' option thankfully or I think I would've just run away and not come back lol!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think guys try to get their message in quickly before the female realises she has so much choice and then develops the dismissive cocky attitude that alot of single women appear to develop after a couple of weeks lol x |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I remember chatting to a guy a while back, when I was a new 'un!
His theory on why so many guys, including him, bombard women at first is because he seemed to think that women would hook up with a regular or two and that would be that. So they have to get in there quick if they are going to have a chance.
Anyone else come across that theory? Seems better suited to a dating site than here? But what do I know?"
I don't contact people till they have been here at least a week or two just for the reason that they have probably had every chancer sending them mail by then.... and they have probably had a million and one cock shots sent to them...
so at that stage I probably have a better chance of standing out if they are only getting lets say 5 a day after the initial rush... than being one of 700 in the first couple of days....
see... method in madness...... |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
THE STICKS |
"I remember chatting to a guy a while back, when I was a new 'un!
His theory on why so many guys, including him, bombard women at first is because he seemed to think that women would hook up with a regular or two and that would be that. So they have to get in there quick if they are going to have a chance.
Anyone else come across that theory? Seems better suited to a dating site than here? But what do I know?"
Well a lot of guys do join Fab in the hope of finding a sexually liberated girlfriend or a filthier than average FB rather than for the swinging side of the site - I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing, but it does go some way to explain the tendency of guys and couples (yes they do it too - tho perhaps for different reasons) to pounce on the 'fresh meat'
Personally I think it detracts from the experience that new members have on here and you do seem to notice that a lot of single women seem to leave or give up on Fab after a few weeks of constant bombardment.
It's a.shame and I'd like to see admin be a little more proactive about it - afterall - Fab needs single women a lot more than single women need Fab.
Ps ....... Zord! Narf!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So the general concesious of opinion is that new registrants need to use the filters to prevent the hoards of messages, BUT, several people have said they recieved hundreds of messages UNTIL they FOUND the filters - does this mean the filters are not evident at the time of registration?
It is a very simple and quick system for joining the site at the moment, would it be a good idea for admin to lengthen the sign up process by adding the selection of filters, etc. If this is the case it may go some way towards stopping the massive amount of messages and subsequant pestering follow up ones that everyone is complaining about?
I know from looking at profiles that some singles have missed things like 'age range' as they say they are looking for someone between 18 and 99 - not being funny but if you are a 30 year old single woman would you be looking for someone in their 90's?
I recently messaged a single woman who had this 18-99 age range on her profile, she messaged me back with a fairly stroppy reply of 'I was not in her age range so shouldn't be contacting her' - I'm 49, slap bang in the middle - I can only assume she hadn't read her own profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plenty to pick from lucky them
Wish I could get the 10th of those messages per month from ladies"
Lol lol im having a good week on here , recieved 2 messages in 6 days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember the start it was shocking,
I had to reduce my age filters and used every filter I could.
It gets so bad that being on the forums meant an increase in messages so hiding the profile was the other option.
For that reason I dont think I would ever start over again, I also found if I avoided the forums and just logged on 'off peak' I got less messages in & had half a chance of getting through them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So the general concesious of opinion is that new registrants need to use the filters to prevent the hoards of messages, BUT, several people have said they recieved hundreds of messages UNTIL they FOUND the filters - does this mean the filters are not evident at the time of registration?
It is a very simple and quick system for joining the site at the moment, would it be a good idea for admin to lengthen the sign up process by adding the selection of filters, etc. If this is the case it may go some way towards stopping the massive amount of messages and subsequant pestering follow up ones that everyone is complaining about?
I know from looking at profiles that some singles have missed things like 'age range' as they say they are looking for someone between 18 and 99 - not being funny but if you are a 30 year old single woman would you be looking for someone in their 90's?
I recently messaged a single woman who had this 18-99 age range on her profile, she messaged me back with a fairly stroppy reply of 'I was not in her age range so shouldn't be contacting her' - I'm 49, slap bang in the middle - I can only assume she hadn't read her own profile "
 When I first joined the site I had no idea about filters. I was on for over a year and then I found the forums and that's when I learned about the filters etc.
When I deleted my old profile and made this one, the first thing I did within minutes was to go set my filters. I still got a lot of mail even in those first minutes.
To be honest, it's really offputting. You're new to the site and trying to figure out what to do but you're getting bombarded by mail.... it's rubbish.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get many messages these days, I have filters in place, but I still get the odd one or two...if only they'd say more than "want to meet tonight" when they've never spoken to me before grrrr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get many messages these days, I have filters in place, but I still get the odd one or two...if only they'd say more than "want to meet tonight" when they've never spoken to me before grrrr"
Want to meet tonight ? |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I m a newbie single woman (Hi everyone) who has obviously set her filters too tight....barely get any messages  "
Me too now - but it is way better that way. You can be a lot more selective. Don't be tempted to lower your standards, or the quality of your meets will suffer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I m a newbie single woman (Hi everyone) who has obviously set her filters too tight....barely get any messages
Me too now - but it is way better that way. You can be a lot more selective. Don't be tempted to lower your standards, or the quality of your meets will suffer."
hehehe i doubt the quality of my meets will suffer...after a fun first week now zilch...guess i have to be patient!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I m a newbie single woman (Hi everyone) who has obviously set her filters too tight....barely get any messages
Me too now - but it is way better that way. You can be a lot more selective. Don't be tempted to lower your standards, or the quality of your meets will suffer.
hehehe i doubt the quality of my meets will suffer...after a fun first week now zilch...guess i have to be patient! "
Find guys you like the look of and send them a wink or a message. That means they'll be able to contact you in return, even if you'd got a filter blocking them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember chatting to a guy a while back, when I was a new 'un!
His theory on why so many guys, including him, bombard women at first is because he seemed to think that women would hook up with a regular or two and that would be that. So they have to get in there quick if they are going to have a chance.
Anyone else come across that theory? Seems better suited to a dating site than here? But what do I know?"
yes all true but how do the women feel when the rush is over and attention dies down ! Un loved lol  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I left after one week when I first joined! The amount of messages just became too daunting, then I grew a pair (so to speak)
Now after being here for a few years, I have now learned how to ignore the drivel, and probably help to increase the 'why no reply' threads  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The theory does kinda hold up. I know it's different for guys but I can see it in a way. I like to build up rappor with women and see them more than once.
I work during the week so most meets have to be Friday or Saturday nights. Now i've been at points where people have wanted to see me at least once a week so any times i've had more than 2 people i've seen regularly at once i've had to find a way to balance it because not all of them are available midweek day times.(I work nights during the week)
Now women in general probably get 100 times the interest I get and they can't see everyone. If we're going based on that initial '700' messages figure then to sleep with everyone in a week they'd have to have 100 shags a day.
It's just about them being wise to filters to sift through the crap. But like you say the newbie single women do tend to sleep with a couple of guys right off the bat that they wouldn't normally hence the mouth-breathing knuckle draggers throwing cock pics and "wanna fuck?" messages straight at them from the word go for their chance because they just don't have the tact to act normal. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I really do think there isn't enough help on here for single women when they sign up, (explaining the filters, fakes, pesteres, etc.), it has GOT to be offputting - they join with the best intetions and then get bombarded with tons of shit!
One of the new sign up's I mentioned in the original post has left after ONE week. Another 'newbie' has colsed her first profile and re-joined, her profile now says ' Re-joined under a new name to avoid a stalker', her status line currently says 'sometimes it's no fun on here for single women', so something is obviously going on again.
It's a great shame this is happening, it's got to be putting people off as they just can't see the wood for the trees! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plenty to pick from lucky them
Wish I could get the 10th of those messages per month from ladies"
Thems the breaks. Pluses and minuses - ladies, compared to guys, have a relatively vast amount of interest and can more or less pics or choose - the negative side being that inundation happens....guys on the other hand don't get enough interest, but the bonus is they don't get too much/inundated... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe they need to encourage more single female women to join to balance out the numbers a bit.
Saying that it's all dependant on area and travelling as well. A big area say London might be quite a good mix of men, women and couples whereas more remote places may have a limited amount of people actually signed up to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really do think there isn't enough help on here for single women when they sign up, (explaining the filters, fakes, pesteres, etc.), it has GOT to be offputting - they join with the best intetions and then get bombarded with tons of shit!
One of the new sign up's I mentioned in the original post has left after ONE week. Another 'newbie' has colsed her first profile and re-joined, her profile now says ' Re-joined under a new name to avoid a stalker', her status line currently says 'sometimes it's no fun on here for single women', so something is obviously going on again.
It's a great shame this is happening, it's got to be putting people off as they just can't see the wood for the trees! "
When people join, isn't there a link making a number of suggestions including that you upload pictures, get verified and utilise the filters? If people don;t use it then what else can the site do?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they need to encourage more single female women to join to balance out the numbers a bit.
Saying that it's all dependant on area and travelling as well. A big area say London might be quite a good mix of men, women and couples whereas more remote places may have a limited amount of people actually signed up to it."
Who are "they" and how can they encourage more single females to join?
But having lived in London, while yes there are clearly going to be more single females there are also a lot more single men seeking their attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They would be the site and it's members. With it being mainly a niche site, everyone complains about the lack of singles women but not a lot is really done about it. There are plenty of women who use dating sites like PoF to hook up for sex and end up with clingy guys looking for love so they'd actually be better off if they came here. But with it being a free site it's hardly advertised to the extent of other more popular sites.
And I get your point with the areas but from say a small town like mine. There's literally no more than 10 single women tops(and not all of them have been active in the past 6 months) compared with about 100 guys or so. Kinda limited with choice when location/distance are key factors.
Even if the ratio is worse in say London, there might be more competition which is the downside but on the plus side there are more single women within the acceptable location/distance so more chances if you know how to stand out.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really do think there isn't enough help on here for single women when they sign up, (explaining the filters, fakes, pesteres, etc.), it has GOT to be offputting - they join with the best intetions and then get bombarded with tons of shit!
One of the new sign up's I mentioned in the original post has left after ONE week. Another 'newbie' has colsed her first profile and re-joined, her profile now says ' Re-joined under a new name to avoid a stalker', her status line currently says 'sometimes it's no fun on here for single women', so something is obviously going on again.
It's a great shame this is happening, it's got to be putting people off as they just can't see the wood for the trees!
When people join, isn't there a link making a number of suggestions including that you upload pictures, get verified and utilise the filters? If people don;t use it then what else can the site do?
"
Also this. Cracks me up when people moan about receiving messages from people they have the opportunity to block. |
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And I get your point with the areas but from say a small town like mine. There's literally no more than 10 single women tops(and not all of them have been active in the past 6 months) compared with about 100 guys or so. Kinda limited with choice when location/distance are key factors.
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I met mote single women and couples when I lived in Scunthorpe, then I have since I moved to Southend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
And I get your point with the areas but from say a small town like mine. There's literally no more than 10 single women tops(and not all of them have been active in the past 6 months) compared with about 100 guys or so.
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Actually an advanced search shows that there are over 2 pages of profiles, within 20 miles that meet your age requirements and you theres... And that's not to mention couples. Which is a lot more than 10. |
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Think some guys must have their cocks fine tuned to new arrivals on here...
Probably one they receive the monthly email, they must get a buzz down below which signals them to start firing off tons of emails.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
And I get your point with the areas but from say a small town like mine. There's literally no more than 10 single women tops(and not all of them have been active in the past 6 months) compared with about 100 guys or so.
Actually an advanced search shows that there are over 2 pages of profiles, within 20 miles that meet your age requirements and you theres... And that's not to mention couples. Which is a lot more than 10."
I love logical people.  |
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