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Profile & Advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Please check my profile out. Any tips on what to change to possibly get more views/replies.
Also, am I sending wrong messages as I have been polite, crude & everything in between. And don't get many replies.
Any help/advice much appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi op
You've put would only send a face picture once chatting but have one on view
And this
Anyone caught using my profile or images will have legal action taken against them.
"
My picture is up for 24 hours. As a reply to a different post in forum |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Hi op
You've put would only send a face picture once chatting but have one on view
And this
Anyone caught using my profile or images will have legal action taken against them.
My picture is up for 24 hours. As a reply to a different post in forum "
But why only 24 hours seeing that your willing to to put it public why not use it as your profile picture and add more pictures pal variety smartly dressed leave something for the imagination |
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Caps lock always puts me off.
It doesn't actually say anything about you or what you actually want or what you offer.
The lack of body shots is a red flag for me. Though I do appreciate not having an angry penis as soon as I click on photos. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Caps lock always puts me off.
It doesn't actually say anything about you or what you actually want or what you offer.
The lack of body shots is a red flag for me. Though I do appreciate not having an angry penis as soon as I click on photos."
My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Caps lock always puts me off.
It doesn't actually say anything about you or what you actually want or what you offer.
The lack of body shots is a red flag for me. Though I do appreciate not having an angry penis as soon as I click on photos.
My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that."
Remember it's not going to please everyone but could some.... Everyone is looking for something |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Caps lock always puts me off.
It doesn't actually say anything about you or what you actually want or what you offer.
The lack of body shots is a red flag for me. Though I do appreciate not having an angry penis as soon as I click on photos.
My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that.
Remember it's not going to please everyone but could some.... Everyone is looking for something "
But again, if they want to know what I'm into, maybe send me a message and ask? Why does everything have to be on display?
Is this where I'm going wrong? |
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"My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that.
Remember it's not going to please everyone but could some.... Everyone is looking for something
But again, if they want to know what I'm into, maybe send me a message and ask? Why does everything have to be on display?
Is this where I'm going wrong?"
Possibly.
As a woman on here, even a blatantly hostile one that isn't seeking extra men, I get a lot of messages every day. If people want to be discreet and get us to ask that's their perogative. Personally, unless someone is absolutely outstanding in their messages then I'm not going to do the legwork on finding out about them when there's a hundred options that tell me without asking.
I saw your old version, and even as a happy masochist, the way you worded it did put me off. But, if people are incompatible, is it really putting people off or just saving time and wasted energy?
Not everyone is going to be into everyone. It's a very small percentage of people as a whole that are ever going to be compatible for you. Just focus on the ones that seem actually likely to be a good fit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that.
Remember it's not going to please everyone but could some.... Everyone is looking for something
But again, if they want to know what I'm into, maybe send me a message and ask? Why does everything have to be on display?
Is this where I'm going wrong?
Possibly.
As a woman on here, even a blatantly hostile one that isn't seeking extra men, I get a lot of messages every day. If people want to be discreet and get us to ask that's their perogative. Personally, unless someone is absolutely outstanding in their messages then I'm not going to do the legwork on finding out about them when there's a hundred options that tell me without asking.
I saw your old version, and even as a happy masochist, the way you worded it did put me off. But, if people are incompatible, is it really putting people off or just saving time and wasted energy?
Not everyone is going to be into everyone. It's a very small percentage of people as a whole that are ever going to be compatible for you. Just focus on the ones that seem actually likely to be a good fit."
What is a good way of saying I like to be dominant in the bedroom without it putting you/others off? |
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"What is a good way of saying I like to be dominant in the bedroom without it putting you/others off?"
If it's what you like, then put it whether it puts people off or not. If it's important enough you think it should be in your profile, and people who see it think that they don't want to be involved in that, then everyone saves time. |
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OP make your profile about you. Your likes. Dislikes. What you bring to the party. No point trying to write a profile to attract the masses. It becomes generic and a turn off.
There are literally hundreds of profile advice posts. Same advice given to every single one. Read some of them.
As an aside are these profile advice threads really looking of advice or is it no more than a look at me thread. I know what my answer is. It's mostly attention seeking. It's also guys outing themselves that they can't get a meet or a chat. That in itself is another turn off.
Sorry for the rant but over 10 advice posts asking the same thing on page 1. Cmon guys don't be lazy and do your own research and put a bit of effort in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Caps lock always puts me off.
It doesn't actually say anything about you or what you actually want or what you offer.
The lack of body shots is a red flag for me. Though I do appreciate not having an angry penis as soon as I click on photos.
My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that.
Remember it's not going to please everyone but could some.... Everyone is looking for something
But again, if they want to know what I'm into, maybe send me a message and ask? Why does everything have to be on display?
Is this where I'm going wrong?"
There's a simple answer to that.
Single men outnumber women and couples at over 100 to 1 and many women get hundreds of messages per day. They'll always, and I do mean Always, look at your profile before even thinking of reading your message.
Now think about it, who is more likely to get a reply? The chap whose profile says what he's into and what he has to offer, or the chap who thinks that playing it cagey and being a little mysterious is the way to go?
Why would anyone want to go to the trouble of messaging you to find out what you're into, when others are already providing that information.
The problem is that you seem to be trying to appeal to everyone - perhaps under the false belief that it will improve ypur chances - rather than being true to yourself.
Ok, so let's suppose someone does message you asking what you're into, and after you tell them they then say you're not for them. You'll have wasted both their time and yours and be in exactly the same position as you would be if you had that information on your profile for everyone to see.
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My profile is me to a tea.
I have written it so people can decide whether they think we would be a good fit. I haven't tried to appeal to everyone. Just write what you think is true about you.
You can tell when someone is being personal with their profile or not. Even if they're not for me a well written profile I will always appreciate. I think that's where people go wrong,they keep it far too generic and it literally tells people nothing about who they are and what they're about.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP make your profile about you. Your likes. Dislikes. What you bring to the party. No point trying to write a profile to attract the masses. It becomes generic and a turn off.
There are literally hundreds of profile advice posts. Same advice given to every single one. Read some of them.
As an aside are these profile advice threads really looking of advice or is it no more than a look at me thread. I know what my answer is. It's mostly attention seeking. It's also guys outing themselves that they can't get a meet or a chat. That in itself is another turn off.
Sorry for the rant but over 10 advice posts asking the same thing on page 1. Cmon guys don't be lazy and do your own research and put a bit of effort in"
Not attention seeking in the slightest. I very rarely go on forums, as in never. So I asked for advice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Caps lock always puts me off.
It doesn't actually say anything about you or what you actually want or what you offer.
The lack of body shots is a red flag for me. Though I do appreciate not having an angry penis as soon as I click on photos.
My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that.
Remember it's not going to please everyone but could some.... Everyone is looking for something
But again, if they want to know what I'm into, maybe send me a message and ask? Why does everything have to be on display?
Is this where I'm going wrong?
There's a simple answer to that.
Single men outnumber women and couples at over 100 to 1 and many women get hundreds of messages per day. They'll always, and I do mean Always, look at your profile before even thinking of reading your message.
Now think about it, who is more likely to get a reply? The chap whose profile says what he's into and what he has to offer, or the chap who thinks that playing it cagey and being a little mysterious is the way to go?
Why would anyone want to go to the trouble of messaging you to find out what you're into, when others are already providing that information.
The problem is that you seem to be trying to appeal to everyone - perhaps under the false belief that it will improve ypur chances - rather than being true to yourself.
Ok, so let's suppose someone does message you asking what you're into, and after you tell them they then say you're not for them. You'll have wasted both their time and yours and be in exactly the same position as you would be if you had that information on your profile for everyone to see.
"
I have updated profile, see if that changes anything  |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
You say that you’re looking for a woman who you can have a laugh with and a decent conversation, not just about sex, but 99% of your bio is about sex…it’s a bit of a contradiction and you come across as someone who’s just here because you think it’s an easy way to get laid. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You say that you’re looking for a woman who you can have a laugh with and a decent conversation, not just about sex, but 99% of your bio is about sex…it’s a bit of a contradiction and you come across as someone who’s just here because you think it’s an easy way to get laid. "
Read the thread. I had a profile saying what I liked. Some said it put them off so I removed it. Then some said they wanted to know what I like. So I put it back in.
Cannot please everyone. So I though f*ck it, I will say why I'm here and who I am.
I do prefer to have a chat and not just about sex. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"You say that you’re looking for a woman who you can have a laugh with and a decent conversation, not just about sex, but 99% of your bio is about sex…it’s a bit of a contradiction and you come across as someone who’s just here because you think it’s an easy way to get laid.
Read the thread. I had a profile saying what I liked. Some said it put them off so I removed it. Then some said they wanted to know what I like. So I put it back in.
Cannot please everyone. So I though f*ck it, I will say why I'm here and who I am.
I do prefer to have a chat and not just about sex."
You asked for our advice so don’t get defensive because you’re not hearing what you wanted to hear. Of course you can’t please everyone, no one can, that’s why these threads are absolutely pointless, everyone should just say exactly who they are and what they’re looking for because changing your profile to how someone else has told you to do it is giving a false representation of yourself.
You asked for our opinion of your profile and how we think you can improve it so that’s what I gave you. If a woman is here looking for a relationship with an emotional connection, not just a sexual one, and wants to be with someone who doesn’t just talk about sex, which is what you’re saying you are, then she isn’t going to reply to someone who’s profile is all about sex.
That’s my opinion, you don’t have to take any notice of it but don’t get defensive when I give it to you after you asked for it. Did it cross your mind that I was actually trying to help you so getting a defensive reply to a post that was trying to help you makes me wish I hadn’t bothered now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You say that you’re looking for a woman who you can have a laugh with and a decent conversation, not just about sex, but 99% of your bio is about sex…it’s a bit of a contradiction and you come across as someone who’s just here because you think it’s an easy way to get laid.
Read the thread. I had a profile saying what I liked. Some said it put them off so I removed it. Then some said they wanted to know what I like. So I put it back in.
Cannot please everyone. So I though f*ck it, I will say why I'm here and who I am.
I do prefer to have a chat and not just about sex.
You asked for our advice so don’t get defensive because you’re not hearing what you wanted to hear. Of course you can’t please everyone, no one can, that’s why these threads are absolutely pointless, everyone should just say exactly who they are and what they’re looking for because changing your profile to how someone else has told you to do it is giving a false representation of yourself.
You asked for our opinion of your profile and how we think you can improve it so that’s what I gave you. If a woman is here looking for a relationship with an emotional connection, not just a sexual one, and wants to be with someone who doesn’t just talk about sex, which is what you’re saying you are, then she isn’t going to reply to someone who’s profile is all about sex.
That’s my opinion, you don’t have to take any notice of it but don’t get defensive when I give it to you after you asked for it. Did it cross your mind that I was actually trying to help you so getting a defensive reply to a post that was trying to help you makes me wish I hadn’t bothered now. "
You didn't give any advice, tips or help. You criticised my profile by saying its all about sex. That was it. |
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" Did it cross your mind that I was actually trying to help you so getting a defensive reply to a post that was trying to help you makes me wish I hadn’t bothered now.
You didn't give any advice, tips or help. You criticised my profile by saying its all about sex. That was it."
Is it not advice to say it comes across as being mainly about sex and not the connection you're looking for ? |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"You say that you’re looking for a woman who you can have a laugh with and a decent conversation, not just about sex, but 99% of your bio is about sex…it’s a bit of a contradiction and you come across as someone who’s just here because you think it’s an easy way to get laid.
Read the thread. I had a profile saying what I liked. Some said it put them off so I removed it. Then some said they wanted to know what I like. So I put it back in.
Cannot please everyone. So I though f*ck it, I will say why I'm here and who I am.
I do prefer to have a chat and not just about sex.
You asked for our advice so don’t get defensive because you’re not hearing what you wanted to hear. Of course you can’t please everyone, no one can, that’s why these threads are absolutely pointless, everyone should just say exactly who they are and what they’re looking for because changing your profile to how someone else has told you to do it is giving a false representation of yourself.
You asked for our opinion of your profile and how we think you can improve it so that’s what I gave you. If a woman is here looking for a relationship with an emotional connection, not just a sexual one, and wants to be with someone who doesn’t just talk about sex, which is what you’re saying you are, then she isn’t going to reply to someone who’s profile is all about sex.
That’s my opinion, you don’t have to take any notice of it but don’t get defensive when I give it to you after you asked for it. Did it cross your mind that I was actually trying to help you so getting a defensive reply to a post that was trying to help you makes me wish I hadn’t bothered now.
You didn't give any advice, tips or help. You criticised my profile by saying its all about sex. That was it."
I said you contradict yourself, you say you want to be with someone who talks about more than just sex but you only talk about sex, it gives a mixed message and is a contradiction.
I assumed you’d have realised that by saying that I was indirectly advising you to not contradict yourself, so either remove the bit about wanting to talk about more than just sex or leave it in and talk about something other than sex in the rest of your bio.
I thought that by telling you that you contradict yourself and telling you how you contradict yourself it would help you see that you need to change your profile so that you don’t contradict yourself. It wasn’t just a criticism
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Caps lock always puts me off.
It doesn't actually say anything about you or what you actually want or what you offer.
The lack of body shots is a red flag for me. Though I do appreciate not having an angry penis as soon as I click on photos.
My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that.
Remember it's not going to please everyone but could some.... Everyone is looking for something
But again, if they want to know what I'm into, maybe send me a message and ask? Why does everything have to be on display?
Is this where I'm going wrong?"
But if it's part of your bio their is more chance of showing interest as it's what people read and think yes something that interests us so send a message to want to know more.... If you're expecting someone to ask via a message wouldn't you think we'll why didn't you put this within the bio remember some will be interested some won't as everyone has their own fantasies.. so it should be about what you want not what others want but others are into it as well |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Caps lock always puts me off.
It doesn't actually say anything about you or what you actually want or what you offer.
The lack of body shots is a red flag for me. Though I do appreciate not having an angry penis as soon as I click on photos.
My original profile I said I prefer to be dominant, and enjoy rough sex. But happy to play "vanilla" if they prefer that. Been told that put people off so I've gotten rid of that.
Remember it's not going to please everyone but could some.... Everyone is looking for something
But again, if they want to know what I'm into, maybe send me a message and ask? Why does everything have to be on display?
Is this where I'm going wrong?
But if it's part of your bio their is more chance of showing interest as it's what people read and think yes something that interests us so send a message to want to know more.... If you're expecting someone to ask via a message wouldn't you think we'll why didn't you put this within the bio remember some will be interested some won't as everyone has their own fantasies.. so it should be about what you want not what others want but others are into it as well "
Why would you prefer to have to keep typing out the same message over and over to tell different people privately what you’re interested in when you can just type it out once in your bio and it’s available for everyone to read without you having to spend any more time and effort typing it out again and again.
The only benefit I can see from telling people privately is that you can fine tune what you tell people depending on what you think they’re looking for and what will get them interested in you. Which essentially means you can give a false impression of yourself and dupe people into talking to you if you only discuss your interests with people in private. Obviously that’s not a nice thing to do and as you’ve already told us you have just laid out exactly what you’re looking for on your profile I know that’s not something you’d do. |
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"Please check my profile out. Any tips on what to change to possibly get more views/replies.
Also, am I sending wrong messages as I have been polite, crude & everything in between. And don't get many replies.
Any help/advice much appreciated "
Don't think anything wrong with your profile. As others have said few more pics good - perhaps make your friends ones public. Hard to know how you come across in messages when chatting but just a numbers game - you can't expect too much. As people always say the more you can do to get out there into the real world the better. Going to big organised social Saturday night at a pub where I think 40 people, singles and couples. If you can go to something like that will chat and meet to more people than months/years sending messages. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Please check my profile out. Any tips on what to change to possibly get more views/replies.
Also, am I sending wrong messages as I have been polite, crude & everything in between. And don't get many replies.
Any help/advice much appreciated
Don't think anything wrong with your profile. As others have said few more pics good - perhaps make your friends ones public. Hard to know how you come across in messages when chatting but just a numbers game - you can't expect too much. As people always say the more you can do to get out there into the real world the better. Going to big organised social Saturday night at a pub where I think 40 people, singles and couples. If you can go to something like that will chat and meet to more people than months/years sending messages. "
Tried that in Newcastle when I lived there. Got there 30 mins after it had "started" and everyone had already paired up or in groups. Tried to talk to others but literally got blanked. After an hour I left. |
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"Please check my profile out. Any tips on what to change to possibly get more views/replies.
Also, am I sending wrong messages as I have been polite, crude & everything in between. And don't get many replies.
Any help/advice much appreciated
Don't think anything wrong with your profile. As others have said few more pics good - perhaps make your friends ones public. Hard to know how you come across in messages when chatting but just a numbers game - you can't expect too much. As people always say the more you can do to get out there into the real world the better. Going to big organised social Saturday night at a pub where I think 40 people, singles and couples. If you can go to something like that will chat and meet to more people than months/years sending messages.
Tried that in Newcastle when I lived there. Got there 30 mins after it had "started" and everyone had already paired up or in groups. Tried to talk to others but literally got blanked. After an hour I left."
Well try again perhaps at a different event. Doesn't sound like typical event. You sound a bit negative overall. Perhaps that came across? Hope things improve for you but this can be a tough world if you are not naturally good at talking with others online or in person. |
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