FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Going to a club as a couple but pretending to be single
Going to a club as a couple but pretending to be single
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After our last visit to a club basically was her hitting it off with the guy but me and his other half didnt, we were thinking about going together but acting seperate so both get people we want then meeting up later, has anyone done this,what was it like and she is a bit nervous about sitting on her own any suggestions ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont think its a good idea to lie, why not tell people you are there as a couple but like to play seperately and you get aroused talking about your experiences after. |
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We've wandered around separately before now, pretending not to know each other - have found some single guys are put off by the husband being around - but are ok with random other single guys there...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dont think its a good idea to lie, why not tell people you are there as a couple but like to play seperately and you get aroused talking about your experiences after."
would lookmore awkward would it not? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster."
yeah just trying to find a good medium her having fun and myself.... |
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster."
We don't play with couples, so it's not an issue for us - single guys are what we're after. Really don't see the disaster potential |
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By *utzzCouple
over a year ago
wrexham |
I'm sure I've seen on a club website that couples who arrive as a couple have to stay as a couple. too. It's probably just on "couples only" nights though but it's worth checking the clubs rules anyway. |
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"I'm sure I've seen on a club website that couples who arrive as a couple have to stay as a couple. too. It's probably just on "couples only" nights though but it's worth checking the clubs rules anyway. "
I've seen that somewhere - and it was for a 'couples only' night - which we would never attend. It's partly to do with people hooking up to get in cheaper and then playing solo - and potentially annoying others, I think. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We've played hide and seek in clubs - one 'hides' then the other looks around to see what they're up to and who with. Needs to be in a big club though!"
Thats a good idea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster.
yeah just trying to find a good medium her having fun and myself...."
Why not just play with a couple you both click with?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster.
yeah just trying to find a good medium her having fun and myself....
Why not just play with a couple you both click with?
"
Very difficult to find, think we enjoy playing seperatly more than as a couple |
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster."
Its like what I was going to post was torn from my brain and posted first 
There is nothing we hate more than going to a club on a couples night and the couple or "fuck buddies" are prowling round like 2 singles. Why do you think people attend couples nights ? to play with COUPLES and the odd rare unicorn if they turn up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster.
Its like what I was going to post was torn from my brain and posted first
There is nothing we hate more than going to a club on a couples night and the couple or "fuck buddies" are prowling round like 2 singles. Why do you think people attend couples nights ? to play with COUPLES and the odd rare unicorn if they turn up."
Yeah we get that, thats why we were thinking of a singles night, like the hide n seek idea tho. more honest |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yeah we get that, thats why we were thinking of a singles night, like the hide n seek idea tho. more honest
Going on a singles night would the most sensible option all round "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster.
We don't play with couples, so it's not an issue for us - single guys are what we're after. Really don't see the disaster potential"
Well to me the female half appears to be getting far more fun and this plan will not resolve that imbalance. If the OP is happy with that good luck to them. |
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Actually I have seen this type of play in several clubs over a period of time, but always in clubs where it's been a mixed night rather than a couples only night.
I can certainly think of several couples who have attended clubs in NW England, whom arrive and leave as a couple, but for some part of the night play seperately and at other parts of the night play as a couple.
If you don't know the couple, you could certainly get the impression that they are singles, based purely on them playing, but if during conversation you ask if they are alone, they'll be upfront and say that they are with someone, but quite happy to carry on playing.
I think what the OP would like to do is totally acceptable, with the only criteria being that it's not done on a couples only night. |
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster.
We don't play with couples, so it's not an issue for us - single guys are what we're after. Really don't see the disaster potential
Well to me the female half appears to be getting far more fun and this plan will not resolve that imbalance. If the OP is happy with that good luck to them."
I can see where your coming from Crystal Wheels, but I guess it depends how different people like to play. I have some friends where the wife often plays alone with single guys, but every meet is videoed and her hubby finds his pleasure in watching the videos, I certainly know plenty of couples where the hubby doesn't join in but enjoys watching his lady play with one or more guys and I know other couples whom only enjoy swinging if they are both actively involved with another couple in the same room. The OP just seems to want to play in a club environment where they arrive and leave together and are safe, but have individual fun alone and so long as they both enjoy that, I don't see what the issue is. |
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"
If you don't know the couple, you could certainly get the impression that they are singles, based purely on them playing, but if during conversation you ask if they are alone, they'll be upfront and say that they are with someone, but quite happy to carry on playing.
I think what the OP would like to do is totally acceptable, with the only criteria being that it's not done on a couples only night."
If asked I would always say that I am not there alone - that my husband is there but is elsewhere in the club and is happy for me to be playing. And, as I previously said, we don't go to couples only nights - I agree it's acceptable for a mixed night  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that it's worth trying. Can be amazing fun.
Why does she have to sit alone. Maybe meet some friends there
To be honest I think you may find it a fantastic night. I used to do this. My master would come along to a cinema trip with me but let me go it alone. And be there if needed but watch me. It was amazing.
Done it with another ex too. We wandered off at chameleons and just randomly bumping into each other. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Each to there own i guess...op is here lol. I just dont want to get in the scénario again where iwas not attractwd to the other half. I trust her, just trying to think of otherways of playing so we both get enjoyment. Understand on a singles might she would maybe prob get hammered by come ons but as long as we set boundaries...last time was our first time swinging and in a club |
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We go as a couple for fun,and like to play with couples,but I also like to watch wife with single guy or guys,and she likes a bit of fem fun too,so we wander around the club meet and greet,if we are both happy with what's on offer we will play,but I did see on guy at last club visit left his wife sitting all alone like a lemon,and was walking around club looking for action,we stayed well clear,felt for her ,sheshould have got up and left him for good. Nice to meet people who enjoy having fun together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We might have to start trying this and we really cannot find many couples we both equally like. It is normally one part of the couple and not the other half. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We'd run a mile from anyone playing those sort of games.
But thenwe wouldn't. play with a couple unless all 4 people had hit it off.
I think you need to look at how you play but this is no solution and a recipe for disaster.
Its like what I was going to post was torn from my brain and posted first
There is nothing we hate more than going to a club on a couples night and the couple or "fuck buddies" are prowling round like 2 singles. Why do you think people attend couples nights ? to play with COUPLES and the odd rare unicorn if they turn up."
Ooh - controversial!!!
So couples only attend couples nights to play with couples - unless there's a single bi fem putting in an appearance???
Thus meaning couples will play with singles on a couples night - but only if its a bi girl?
Purely playing devils advocate here - as I'm not a club regular - but this is one of the reasons many men feel they get a rough deal from both couples and clubs. Surely a couples night should be just that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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how about you go to the same club but seprately both entering as singles at different times then leave as a single at prearranged times, yo can still join your lady as a single when she is with a guy or couple in party room, sinarios are endless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After our last visit to a club basically was her hitting it off with the guy but me and his other half didnt, we were thinking about going together but acting seperate so both get people we want then meeting up later, has anyone done this,what was it like and she is a bit nervous about sitting on her own any suggestions ?"
Assuming its a couples night then must people there are going to be looking for other couples it single fems and are going to question why a guy is wandering around on his own looking for fun so chances are they would avoid u but welcome ur Mrs
If its a singles night then there is going to be a lot if competition for u and the chances of fun are going to be slim whilst hers are plentiful , either way she's far more likely to pay than u , hire are u going to handle it if u end up with nothing at the end of the night but she's played several times , not a dog just something to consider |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After our last visit to a club basically was her hitting it off with the guy but me and his other half didnt, we were thinking about going together but acting seperate so both get people we want then meeting up later, has anyone done this,what was it like and she is a bit nervous about sitting on her own any suggestions ?
Assuming its a couples night then must people there are going to be looking for other couples it single fems and are going to question why a guy is wandering around on his own looking for fun so chances are they would avoid u but welcome ur Mrs
If its a singles night then there is going to be a lot if competition for u and the chances of fun are going to be slim whilst hers are plentiful , either way she's far more likely to pay than u , hire are u going to handle it if u end up with nothing at the end of the night but she's played several times , not a dog just something to consider "
Apologies for spelling , predictive text strikes again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh - controversial!!!
So couples only attend couples nights to play with couples - unless there's a single bi fem putting in an appearance???
Thus meaning couples will play with singles on a couples night - but only if its a bi girl?
Purely playing devils advocate here - as I'm not a club regular - but this is one of the reasons many men feel they get a rough deal from both couples and clubs. Surely a couples night should be just that? "
So you'd like to get bi-girls banned from couples nights (despite the fact that the bi-girls AND the couples want them there) - purely on the grounds that it's not fair on the (unwanted) single men?
Good luck with that one!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh - controversial!!!
So couples only attend couples nights to play with couples - unless there's a single bi fem putting in an appearance???
Thus meaning couples will play with singles on a couples night - but only if its a bi girl?
Purely playing devils advocate here - as I'm not a club regular - but this is one of the reasons many men feel they get a rough deal from both couples and clubs. Surely a couples night should be just that?
So you'd like to get bi-girls banned from couples nights (despite the fact that the bi-girls AND the couples want them there) - purely on the grounds that it's not fair on the (unwanted) single men?
Good luck with that one! "
As likely as Rihanna rocking up on my front door! Lol
No - but as I said - purely playing devils advocate I do find it amusing ( not in a good way! ) that whenever the subject of club entrance crops up its the same old story!
If couples want COUPLES nights - have them - but don't expect not to be criticised by those that feel it double standards to allow a non couple in just because she is a unicorn! If its open to two sections of the population either call it something else or open it up to all.
If those single bi fems every couple wants all happened to be the polar opposite of their 'preference' - would their presence enhance the evening? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have no problems when guys and girls "team up" to go to a couples only night. But were our problem starts is when the female part just sits in bar area of the club and he goes "hunting" round, trying to get into the "game" alone... Seen that now several times in various clubs and think that isn't right...either both play or both don't simplez  Angel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go with one of my playmates from time to time to a club as a couple, on the understanding up front, that we don't have to hang out together and are free to do as each of us pleases.
I personally do not play with couples, ever, and seldom play with any single gents I do not already know while at clubs.
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We've been to parties together and played as singles but wouldn't do it at a club.
We were regulars at the parties that we split at so we were both ok with it. We knew most of the regulars so I suppose we weren't going into the unknown  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We went to a club that was actually 2 clubs, each with a separate entrance. One was a male only sauna, and the other was couples only.
But... there was a door between and couples could pass through to the mens side (but not the other way round). So you could cross over for some fun and then escape back to relax without being pursued... and then pop back again.. and again.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There has always been 'faux couples'.
When I was married, years and years ago, faux couples, fb's etc were frowned on. Now its ok 
Couples have couples only nights, and can go on singles nights, and single women can always go.
Single men do get a rough time, not made easier by married/attached men 'playing single'.
If there was a club doing 'singles only' I'd go, and I'd have a car or two full of other singles too go also  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We might have to start trying this and we really cannot find many couples we both equally like. It is normally one part of the couple and not the other half."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i really cant see what the problem is if you go to a swinging club what difference does anyones marital status make "
Well extramarital sex is wrong, obviously
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, it is not easy to ascertain if a gent is truly single in a club situation, and I once inadvertently played with a gent that was attached.
Hence I no longer play with anyone I do not already know while at a club.
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And in a club who gives a crap what marital status people are , I agree with a previous post.
No delving and questioning from me, if we like we like if we don't we don't, we don't have a questionnaire before we g
do anything. |
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"Ooh - controversial!!!
So couples only attend couples nights to play with couples - unless there's a single bi fem putting in an appearance???
Thus meaning couples will play with singles on a couples night - but only if its a bi girl?
Purely playing devils advocate here - as I'm not a club regular - but this is one of the reasons many men feel they get a rough deal from both couples and clubs. Surely a couples night should be just that?
So you'd like to get bi-girls banned from couples nights (despite the fact that the bi-girls AND the couples want them there) - purely on the grounds that it's not fair on the (unwanted) single men?
Good luck with that one! "
Good point !.
Why is it, whatever anyone say's or think the same double standards get rolled out everytime.
Now thats controversial! |
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Talk about killing the night for me 
I thought married people having sex with others was, well erm swinging?!