FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I need help..constructive comments
I need help..constructive comments
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"I wrote this ages ago. Hope it helps. Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty pics are good (look at other profiles for inspiration). Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/mrstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy used to bring me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chatted every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538" If you never read another post on the forums, make sure you read this one! Fantastic advice, thanks! | |||
"I'm not pleading but can I please have your honest constructive advice on how to meet someone...if my profile is crap please tell me "Your profile isn’t terrible, in fact it’s one of the better ones asking for advice. It may be a little bland though. Tell people a bit more about you! | |||
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"I wrote this ages ago. Hope it helps. Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do all of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Black and white and arty pics are good (look at other profiles for inspiration). Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/mrstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy used to bring me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chatted every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Mr O’s advice: https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/8538" While this MAY improve your chances with SOME people (there are certainly parts of the advice given that would make me NOT reply), it will ultimately boil down to the first reply on your thread here. | |||
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