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Bereavement
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"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance" i lost my mum suddenly in 2009 ,i think of her every day,but as times goes by it will get easier xx | |||
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"These words from an old Viking poem called the Havamal are wise words; Cattle die and kinsmen die, thyself too soon must die, but one thing never, I know, will die, -- fair fame of one who has earned. Cattle die and kinsmen die, thyself too soon must die, but one thing never, I know, will die, -- the renown on each one dead. In other words remember all the wonderful things your dad did, the things he is remembered for and the people he helped over the years - and keep them alive in your mind. That is the tribute you can keep for him always. All the very best to you xx"  | |||
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"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance" I Know you wont believe this but time does heal, you will never forget, but things do get easier. Think of all the good memories and always rememmber he will never be far from your side, he will watch over you and guide you. big hugs from us. xxxx | |||
"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance" We all grieve differently, so whatever you feel, sadness, anger etc will be unique to you: just don't repress it. Take/seek any kind of bereavement counselling you can, they really do help. It's still raw, but believe me, each day will get a little easier. I've buried both parents and a son: all died suddenly, but I've survived it, you will too. My condolences to you. | |||
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"These words from an old Viking poem called the Havamal are wise words; Cattle die and kinsmen die, thyself too soon must die, but one thing never, I know, will die, -- fair fame of one who has earned. Cattle die and kinsmen die, thyself too soon must die, but one thing never, I know, will die, -- the renown on each one dead. In other words remember all the wonderful things your dad did, the things he is remembered for and the people he helped over the years - and keep them alive in your mind. That is the tribute you can keep for him always. All the very best to you xx" Thank you | |||
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"I've put this on here before, so apologies to thoise who have seen it before. When my Mum died I found a piece of paper written by my Mum and felt sure she left it there for me. I've changed one word If my Dad could have spoke before he died these are the words he would had said Weep not for me and courage take, and love each other for my sake" Thank you | |||
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"Keep yourself busy buddy." Yes, +1 here to that. I lost my dad in similar circumstances in December. I have got thru it by keeping busy and leaning on friends and family. I am also currently in the USA holidaying at family's place. If you can do that too, get away somewhere, get a change of scene, that tends to help, allows you to convalesce without the usual everyday hassles on your mind. My condolences and best of luck with your recovery. | |||
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"i lost my sons nanny (ex's side) 2 weeks ago suddenly, and i'm finding it hard to cope some days as was very close to her, and my son was too...but theres a card she sent me when i lost my dad which has a poem on it, which is lovely, ... When somebody dies, a cloud turns into an angel and flies up to tell god to put another flower on a pillow. Abird gives the message back to the world and sings a silent prayerthat makes the rain cry. People disappear, but they never really go away. The spirits up there put the sun to bed, wake up the grass and spin the earth in dizzy circles. Sometimes you can see them up theredancing in a cloud, when they are supposed to be sleeping. They paint the rainbows, and also the sunsets and make waves splash and tug at the tide. They toss shooting stars and listen to wishes. And when they sing wind songs, they whisper to us, "don't miss me too much, the view is nice and i'm doing just fine. This poem always makes me smile an think of her and my dad with love and fond memories. As for your greiving process OP, time, it takes time. Even now, i still think after 7 yrs of my dad passing, he is still at work. Live, Laugh and love. My thoughts are with you xx " That's lovely thank you | |||
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"Don't bottle up your grieving Keep them alive in your thoughts everyday - don't shut all those memories in a drawer and never revisit them Remember that they would want you to live a full life and above all, be happy Your life is the richer for having shared all those times together - we are our own thoughts and the thoughts of others Remember that that big hole in your heart will take a long time to heal, no one can ever replace that, but your family around you help a big way towards making it a smaller hole. If you need help or it gets too much make sure you go get some help off your GP or whatever. It is a huge thing to deal with and others know you'll need help - don't be afraid to ask for it. Remember you are the person that survives the person who is gone. You would not be here but for them - how wonderful is that? I lost my Dad at 28, some lose them far younger than I was... this kind of thing happens all over the world each and every day. It's all part of life - one day it'll be our turn and someone else will be in our shoes again. Take care, take it easy and mark time m8 Wolf
"Had a two hour counselling session tonight and have another doctors appoinent Monday, thank you | |||
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"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance" I lost both parents to cancer, at my age I found it really hard to the point of think suicidle but you need to think would your dad be happy knowing that your sad?? | |||
"Really sorry for your loss. You will never, ever forget him, but coping with him not being there will get easier in time. Came across this recently - "If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you."" Winnie the Poo. A very wise little bear
All the best to all of you who have lost someone. | |||
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"To comfort you I have lived And in living I have given you A special part of me I have lived And in knowing you and loving you I have received a special part of you I am no more But you are with me And I am with you So live for me Know that you take that special part of me With you everywhere I will see what you see I will do what you do I will share your laughter and your tears I have taken with me that special part I received from you That part of you that now feels dead is safe with me It stays with me, it comforts me, I have you with me In you is me In me is you Live for me My daughters best friend died on their joint 18th birthday I wrote this from her friends point of view although I know it's how I.feel too" | |||
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"Every day so far is hard" Its hard i know but we have to live .. my dad would hate me feeling to unhappy ..... i hope one day i feel his spirit around me ... I don't think i can right now as have my own grief .. Big hugs xxxxx time will heal us x and make us strong again .. and we will smile when we think of them. | |||
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"Just an open update I'm having the counselling and I'm back at the doctors on Monday to have another chat, he did initially think there was some depression too but I don't know Thanks everyone sincerely " you have done the right thing,and I hope you get on well x | |||
"Just an open update I'm having the counselling and I'm back at the doctors on Monday to have another chat, he did initially think there was some depression too but I don't know Thanks everyone sincerely you have done the right thing,and I hope you get on well x" Thank you | |||
"Just an open update I'm having the counselling and I'm back at the doctors on Monday to have another chat, he did initially think there was some depression too but I don't know Thanks everyone sincerely " you have done the right thing,and I hope you get on well x | |||
"Just an open update I'm having the counselling and I'm back at the doctors on Monday to have another chat, he did initially think there was some depression too but I don't know Thanks everyone sincerely you have done the right thing,and I hope you get on well x" Thanks x | |||
"Just an open update I'm having the counselling and I'm back at the doctors on Monday to have another chat, he did initially think there was some depression too but I don't know Thanks everyone sincerely you have done the right thing,and I hope you get on well x Thank you " sorry have sent message twice am using my phone at work | |||
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"Another update I'm still here all, doctors at 9 in the morning to discuss stuff " Good luck huni it will get easier with time xx | |||
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"Hey bud ! Those that have been in the forums a while will have seen me post this before because I think it just adds some context and comfort in what is a difficult time that we all may have to experience in our lifetime. So apologies to those that have seen it before, but this time Gandl, it is just for you x -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports. I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to "hello" and "goodbye."I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you. I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye. Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day. On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye." She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!" We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye. But I learn from goodbye moments, too. Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked. "I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said. "When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?" He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more."When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. "I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye." He then began to sob and walked away. " Thank you | |||
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"Hey bud ! Those that have been in the forums a while will have seen me post this before because I think it just adds some context and comfort in what is a difficult time that we all may have to experience in our lifetime. So apologies to those that have seen it before, but this time Gandl, it is just for you x -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports. I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to "hello" and "goodbye."I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you. I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye. Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day. On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye." She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!" We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye. But I learn from goodbye moments, too. Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked. "I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said. "When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?" He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more."When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. "I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye." He then began to sob and walked away. " what a lovely post, it had me in tears. | |||
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"MY MUM DIED IN MY ARMS WHEN I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, I CAN STILL REMEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY, I THOUGHT THE PAIN WOULD NEVER GO BUT IT DOES GET EASIER AS THE YEARS GO BY. YOUR DAD WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND FOREVER IN YOUR HEART. XX BIG HUGS LOVE XX" Thank you and I will post tomorrow after the doctors tomorrow | |||
"MY MUM DIED IN MY ARMS WHEN I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, I CAN STILL REMEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY, I THOUGHT THE PAIN WOULD NEVER GO BUT IT DOES GET EASIER AS THE YEARS GO BY. YOUR DAD WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND FOREVER IN YOUR HEART. XX BIG HUGS LOVE XX" oh - mixture of happy sad there - huge hugs xxxx | |||
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"Sorry for your loss, I have lost both parents one to cancer and the other to leukemia, both died slowly and painfully and the only thing I could do was to be there at the end. There is no cure all recipe that will make things easier for you, It is true that time heals all wounds and it will be easier in the years to come, but think about what they have wanted you to do with your life after they had gone.. it would not be to mope about and become a hermit, celebrate their lives and honour them by being the type of person they brought you up to be. Death does not change your relationship only your obligations to each other. P.S. this is what forum is for, to say what you want and ask for advice, never be worried about the subject matter just say what you want to say." | |||
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"oh my god, what a truly sad post.. im so sorry for your loss, remembering the good times should help make it easier. ive found this post helpful because ive got this to come, my dad has a few months left..sending you a huge hug xxx" Thank you x | |||
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"Morning all Well I've been to the doctors this morning and I'm getting sent for CBT. Sessions basically counselling and also been given some antidepressants Thank you all again for your kind words and messages x" Be well. All the very best. | |||
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"i know what your going through lost my mum in law a few months ago. its hard my eldest who is only 8 has taken it bad and i have got help for him. time is the best healer and in time you will be able to move on. maybe talking to someone can help a close friend family members. " Thank you | |||
"Morning all Well I've been to the doctors this morning and I'm getting sent for CBT. Sessions basically counselling and also been given some antidepressants Thank you all again for your kind words and messages x" I'm glad you sought help, its something I should of done when I lost my mum. There is a great bunch of people on here ,so never be afraid to spk etc. I wish you well x | |||
"Morning all Well I've been to the doctors this morning and I'm getting sent for CBT. Sessions basically counselling and also been given some antidepressants Thank you all again for your kind words and messages x I'm glad you sought help, its something I should of done when I lost my mum. There is a great bunch of people on here ,so never be afraid to spk etc. I wish you well x" Thank you | |||
"Morning all Well I've been to the doctors this morning and I'm getting sent for CBT. Sessions basically counselling and also been given some antidepressants Thank you all again for your kind words and messages x" XXXXX | |||
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"Maybe take a step back from this site and concentrate on your family." That's not a bad idea, loving all the kind words Thank you | |||
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"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance" i lost ma partner, will b 12yrz in july comin n think abt him al the time....u can only take one day at a time one thing that helpz iz the fact i have hiz child who helpz me threw the everyday that passez jst take time and remember al the good timez u shared.....my thoughtz r with u durin thiz hard time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx | |||
"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance i lost ma partner, will b 12yrz in july comin n think abt him al the time....u can only take one day at a time one thing that helpz iz the fact i have hiz child who helpz me threw the everyday that passez jst take time and remember al the good timez u shared.....my thoughtz r with u durin thiz hard time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" | |||
"I lost my wife 4years ago through Cancer 4years ago January, time takes the immense pain away but you learn to live with it but don't agree with the words move on you can't...........to start with you remember the bad parts but eventually they ease and you remember the good times more.........Smile & laugh only when you think you have to not because others think you have to....... I was lucky she left 2 beautiful children as a legacy ........ Take care buddy....." i agree with thiz comment ya can nva move on or smile cause otherz expect ya 2....u will smile when u rememba special dayz n fun that ya shared with each other the bad timez do fade with time az the gd memoriez wipe them out.....that will b the day u will smile 4 yasel n children r a gd blessin when itz a partner u lost n shared so many wonderful timez xxx chin up xxx | |||
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 I'm sure all these words of wisdom are helping over a year later | |||
" I'm sure all these words of wisdom are helping over a year later "My thoughts | |||
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" I'm sure all these words of wisdom are helping over a year later "time scales are irrelevent if there sumink ta say! And I feel like saying it! ( mrs)  | |||
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" I'm sure all these words of wisdom are helping over a year later
My thoughts "Of course they still help! Just coz it's been a year doesn't mean they aren't upset!! I'm still upset over losing my great grandma last July | |||
" I'm sure all these words of wisdom are helping over a year later
My thoughts
Of course they still help! Just coz it's been a year doesn't mean they aren't upset!!
I'm still upset over losing my great grandma last July"They really are still helping thanks | |||
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"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance" I lost my mum to cancer a month ago ,the only thing that keeps me going Is telling myself we all will die one day and this was her time.I smile at the times I did have with her rather than be sad at the tines I'm not going to have .it's tough at the best of times x x | |||
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"2 years ago this week and still hurts" i lost my dad when I was 15 and miss him everyday more so now cu's I lost my nan two weeks ago and it brings everything back .sorry for your loss mate | |||
"2 years ago this week and still hurts" Well it did take over two years for me to start to come to terms with the death of my dad .. I have his pics around me and I look and smile and in my head chat to him and now feel he is around me in some way. | |||
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"Do seek some counselling, it isn't expensive, and it will help. (There may be free counselling available, but there's usually a long waiting list.) Having counselling isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength and accepting that you want to be able to cope better. We all think we know how to fix ourselves (time heals all, and all that), but a trained counsellor will be able to help you along that process more successfully than you will alone. " Had a 3 hour session with bereavement counsellor and 10 sessions of CBT and we'll still here | |||
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"My mum is 92. They had been married 67 years. She's lost without him xx" its knowing how to help them cope .. not easy | |||
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"they say time heals but im finding I panic as im forgetting my dads voice and what he sounded like I still talk about him .. dad would have loved this .. dad would have loved that etc its my mum I worry about more ..shes 80 and not in good health .... to be with someone a life time and then to have nothing except memories I also worry more about other people GPs have a habit of thinking pills are the answer keep talking it does help" I know that feeling, where you just want to see their face or hear their voice in your head but cant. It is very upsetting, but as time goes on you will remember, They will pop into your head easily. It is only because you are trying to see, the brain seems to block it, but it will come back. | |||
"This was my old post, male half, can I just reiterate the appreciation from all concerned that messaged me and sent support Thank you fab world " Hope you are feeling better Gerry xxxx | |||
"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance" . Just try an remember the good times . It is sad to encounter a sudden death but I am sure that you dad would prefer that you had a happy life than become too sad over his death. | |||
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"This was my old post, male half, can I just reiterate the appreciation from all concerned that messaged me and sent support Thank you fab world Hope you are feeling better Gerry xxxx" | |||
"Sorry for your loss, I have lost both parents one to cancer and the other to leukemia, both died slowly and painfully and the only thing I could do was to be there at the end. There is no cure all recipe that will make things easier for you, It is true that time heals all wounds and it will be easier in the years to come, I think and believe that the pain never leaves you, but you learn to live with the loss of a loved one. . My wife/best friend who i love dearly died 30 years ago and the pain still jumps out and hit me. But it loses its punch over time. X but think about what they have wanted you to do with your life after they had gone.. it would not be to mope about and become a hermit, celebrate their lives and honour them by being the type of person they brought you up to be. Death does not change your relationship only your obligations to each other. P.S. this is what forum is for, to say what you want and ask for advice, never be worried about the subject matter just say what you want to say." | |||
"Any help appreciated, I know this isn't the usual swingers chat but I lost my dad a month ago very suddenly and would appreciate any words of wisdom out there Thanks in advance" Grieving is a process that takes time, you might experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Draw comfort from happy memories, m x | |||
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