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Feeling too old
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By *orl1971 OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
We went along to a group social last night. Being in our 50s we really did feel everyone was a lot younger plus a lot of single people. Felt a bit like we’re too old or is this for us. Anyone else had that feeling from socials/clubs ? Are we the wrong demographic now? |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
"You're not the wrong demographic in my opinion but I understand how you felt. Did people chat, did you feed included?"
We did chat to people but quite a few single guys just seemed a bit immature for us and lots of couples seemed to be younger and in social groups as they seemed to know each other. Did not seem to be any people who were close to our age. |
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"You're not the wrong demographic in my opinion but I understand how you felt. Did people chat, did you feed included?
We did chat to people but quite a few single guys just seemed a bit immature for us and lots of couples seemed to be younger and in social groups as they seemed to know each other. Did not seem to be any people who were close to our age."
There's not much you can do about that really.  |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
"You're not the wrong demographic in my opinion but I understand how you felt. Did people chat, did you feed included?
We did chat to people but quite a few single guys just seemed a bit immature for us and lots of couples seemed to be younger and in social groups as they seemed to know each other. Did not seem to be any people who were close to our age.
There's not much you can do about that really. "
There were a few nice couples and we know people would say just approach other couples but when they’re 10 or 20 years younger and in a crowd then it seems, dare we say, creepy. We wouldn’t have the confidence to do that. |
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"You're not the wrong demographic in my opinion but I understand how you felt. Did people chat, did you feed included?
We did chat to people but quite a few single guys just seemed a bit immature for us and lots of couples seemed to be younger and in social groups as they seemed to know each other. Did not seem to be any people who were close to our age.
There's not much you can do about that really.
There were a few nice couples and we know people would say just approach other couples but when they’re 10 or 20 years younger and in a crowd then it seems, dare we say, creepy. We wouldn’t have the confidence to do that. "
It's very difficult to approach people who are in a group, I agree. I always assume they don't want to be approached.
We haven't been to a group social for ages. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"We went along to a group social last night. Being in our 50s we really did feel everyone was a lot younger plus a lot of single people. Felt a bit like we’re too old or is this for us. Anyone else had that feeling from socials/clubs ? Are we the wrong demographic now? "
It's definitely not your age but I totally get what you mean about group socials, on one hand you need to just be brave and jump in and the organiser and maybe the usual attendees should make people feel welcome. I guess it's tough if they hadn't seen each other for a while it's easy to get lost in the catch up
Give it another go and see how it is the next time |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I was a bit hesitant to come back on Fab again at my age. I've never been to an organised social as I'd rather just do my own thing on here. I've been lucky enough to have had some great meets in the past, if I'm lucky enough again (when I'm ready) then great, if not nothing ventured, nothing gained. |
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I think you find some socials have a younger or older crowd and some are more mixed. We’ve been to plenty where we have felt like the younger ones and we’re in our 40’s.
It’s about finding the right events and people.
Kx |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
"We went along to a group social last night. Being in our 50s we really did feel everyone was a lot younger plus a lot of single people. Felt a bit like we’re too old or is this for us. Anyone else had that feeling from socials/clubs ? Are we the wrong demographic now?
It's definitely not your age but I totally get what you mean about group socials, on one hand you need to just be brave and jump in and the organiser and maybe the usual attendees should make people feel welcome. I guess it's tough if they hadn't seen each other for a while it's easy to get lost in the catch up
Give it another go and see how it is the next time "
We probably wouldn’t go to that one again. The number of younger singles made it feel more like a Tinder hookup than a swinging, couples swapping, event. |
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I sympathise.
When I go to saunas there are reasons why I have always found it difficult to join in with the fun. I have been passive rather than active. That has definitely been worse since I suddenly realised I'm half a century old and so many of the others seem much younger. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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We probably wouldn’t go to that one again. The number of younger singles made it feel more like a Tinder hookup than a swinging, couples swapping, event. "
Well at least it doesn't sound like you are put off altogether, they'll be other events |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"You're all younger than us. Don't dwell on your age, it's a factor in people's preferences for sure but none of us will ever be younger than we are now.  "
Ha ha, so true, I've just aged a minute reading and replying to this message |
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By *izzy.Woman 9 weeks ago
Stoke area |
Occasionally I feel a bit older than others, but I am happy to chat to any age if it's clear that it's a general conversation and the aim isn't to have sex. Socials are all about mingling and getting to know people.
A lot depends on the Social..it's worth checking the guest list beforehand to get a general idea of the demographic of others attending.
Last year I hosted the Stoke Social. I was aware people remained with the group at their table, so hourly I made an announcement and got everyone to swap and move to another table. That prevented the situation you found yourself in and ensured people were not left out. It's also up to the organiser to wander around and help folks who are a little shy.
I found speed dating events that are held at the start of some Socials help as at least you know 5 or 6 others when the main event starts.
Don't let this one experience put you off. I'm 60 next week and have no intention of stepping back from swinging anytime soon  |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
"Occasionally I feel a bit older than others, but I am happy to chat to any age if it's clear that it's a general conversation and the aim isn't to have sex. Socials are all about mingling and getting to know people.
A lot depends on the Social..it's worth checking the guest list beforehand to get a general idea of the demographic of others attending.
Last year I hosted the Stoke Social. I was aware people remained with the group at their table, so hourly I made an announcement and got everyone to swap and move to another table. That prevented the situation you found yourself in and ensured people were not left out. It's also up to the organiser to wander around and help folks who are a little shy.
I found speed dating events that are held at the start of some Socials help as at least you know 5 or 6 others when the main event starts.
Don't let this one experience put you off. I'm 60 next week and have no intention of stepping back from swinging anytime soon "
To be fair the organisers did split people into table but we had a couple in their 20s/30s, two single guys in their 20s/30s , single girl 30s, another couple maybe 40s. The demographic and mix of singles/couples was probably just not aligned with our age group/preferences.
There’s not many socials close to us so can imagine we need to attend what is on. It’s probably better we just trawl Fab for people we might be compatible with. |
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We are old !!! but find the parties / weekends away and holidays tend to attract the more mature people.
Some socials do attract younger people but not in huge numbers and some older and younger are a bit immature and not that sexy !!
As always, it's each to their own.
We still get more party, social and holiday invites than we can attend and meet lots of people of all ages.
Will happily chat to younger but don't really want to have sex with couples our kids age.
The age thing can work both ways. We maybe too old for some and alternatively, some are too young for us.
Some clubs do attract a younger crowd, so we stick to the ones with a mixed group.
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We do get the feeling to old thing
As we've passed the 50 mark , and now one of us is over 55 , we've seen that we are sometimes the wrong side of that age cut off
But when you to explain things to younger couples , then it's just hard work
And then you find plenty of couples our age can't keep up !
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By *ornycougaWoman 9 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat - Portugal |
Some events - socials and clubs - can feel a bit cliquey when lots of people know each other but that's life. I don't like the sound of being put sitting with a specific group - you may find you have a different experience if you can mingle freely. I've never felt excluded on the basis of age at either socials or clubs but then I go to socialise not to meet people to have sex with so I will chat to anyone |
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By *os19Man 9 weeks ago
Edmonton |
"We went along to a group social last night. Being in our 50s we really did feel everyone was a lot younger plus a lot of single people. Felt a bit like we’re too old or is this for us. Anyone else had that feeling from socials/clubs ? Are we the wrong demographic now? "
. I think I can understand what you are saying.It maybe what I would call a bit of a mental slump.I’m 56 and for the last 3-4 years I have felt a bit out of place like I don’t belong / what am I doing here.I haven’t been as social and chatty at the club , spa , socials that I have attended. I do feel a little out of place and I’m at a bit of a crossroads with regards to whether I carry on with clubs , spa , socials, and Fabs. I would give it a bit more time like I said it could just be a bit of a mental slump.
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A few times at our favourite club we've felt most of the other more social couples have been older and ignore us (We're mid/late 40's) frustrating when we've been happy to have fun with people with a decade or two more. (If someone is hot why not?)
Often we've just had to bite the bullet and dive in for a chat.
On the other hand there have been nights where we feel very old with everyone in there 30's and we felt we couldn't speak to anyone!
I think it's just a barrier and we take the approach that chatting is just chatting. Often now we'll chat to a younger couple but make a point of moving away after certain amount of chatting (even if we're interested)
It gives us confidence to chat and lets the younger couple know we're not going to corner them.
That way later in the night they can always come back to us or we can just say hello and enjoy the fact that we had a nice chat |
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"A few times at our favourite club we've felt most of the other more social couples have been older and ignore us (We're mid/late 40's) frustrating when we've been happy to have fun with people with a decade or two more. (If someone is hot why not?)
Often we've just had to bite the bullet and dive in for a chat.
On the other hand there have been nights where we feel very old with everyone in there 30's and we felt we couldn't speak to anyone!
I think it's just a barrier and we take the approach that chatting is just chatting. Often now we'll chat to a younger couple but make a point of moving away after certain amount of chatting (even if we're interested)
It gives us confidence to chat and lets the younger couple know we're not going to corner them.
That way later in the night they can always come back to us or we can just say hello and enjoy the fact that we had a nice chat"
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It's not so much an age thing, more a peer group thing. Also different clubs have different cliques we think. When we went to Liberty a while back there were older couples but far too few actually playing. Other clubs it can be the opposite. |
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"You're not the wrong demographic in my opinion but I understand how you felt. Did people chat, did you feed included?
We did chat to people but quite a few single guys just seemed a bit immature for us and lots of couples seemed to be younger and in social groups as they seemed to know each other. Did not seem to be any people who were close to our age."
That’s the great thing about socials
If you thought that others did too
Just because their photos looks awesome and profile is great doesn’t mean you can hold a conversation or stimulate other people or instill trust to have your love one play with them
Please don’t get disheartened as I know the next social will be a different group
I tend to go to two different ones, one is on the Far East of my county the other the far west and totally different people
J |
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Too old for what?
You’re young to someone in their seventies.
Old to a teenager.
Who do you want to play with? Some 20s and 30s are into couples in their 50s, vice versa. Demographics in the liberal sex community are ever changing and very subjective.
What I’d also say is that there is some women in their fifties who have tight bodies like women in their 20s. |
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I may feel young at heart...but the fact is I am over 60 so wanting to try a social , but kinda keep putting it off....I go to loads of gigs and events where most are half my age...but I suppose a swingers social is a bit different... |
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"Occasionally I feel a bit older than others, but I am happy to chat to any age if it's clear that it's a general conversation and the aim isn't to have sex. Socials are all about mingling and getting to know people.
A lot depends on the Social..it's worth checking the guest list beforehand to get a general idea of the demographic of others attending.
Last year I hosted the Stoke Social. I was aware people remained with the group at their table, so hourly I made an announcement and got everyone to swap and move to another table. That prevented the situation you found yourself in and ensured people were not left out. It's also up to the organiser to wander around and help folks who are a little shy.
I found speed dating events that are held at the start of some Socials help as at least you know 5 or 6 others when the main event starts.
Don't let this one experience put you off. I'm 60 next week and have no intention of stepping back from swinging anytime soon
To be fair the organisers did split people into table but we had a couple in their 20s/30s, two single guys in their 20s/30s , single girl 30s, another couple maybe 40s. The demographic and mix of singles/couples was probably just not aligned with our age group/preferences.
There’s not many socials close to us so can imagine we need to attend what is on. It’s probably better we just trawl Fab for people we might be compatible with. "
If it’s any use I’d have been similar to you guys too. |
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"You're not the wrong demographic in my opinion but I understand how you felt. Did people chat, did you feed included?
We did chat to people but quite a few single guys just seemed a bit immature for us and lots of couples seemed to be younger and in social groups as they seemed to know each other. Did not seem to be any people who were close to our age."
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By *ot2newCouple 9 weeks ago
a Cake Shop |
"We went along to a group social last night. Being in our 50s we really did feel everyone was a lot younger plus a lot of single people. Felt a bit like we’re too old or is this for us. Anyone else had that feeling from socials/clubs ? Are we the wrong demographic now? "
Unfortunately, the word is yes, like society in general, the swinging world has become very age prejudiced in the main. We started back in 2003 and itv was all very different then. There were many great older couples from even pre internet swinging days and it was a highly social, non judgmental and fun world to enter. Sadly it’s all changed and not for the better. There are still good people out there but they aren’t as easy to find. The only good thing ladies though, is the same rules do t apply; you could be 105 and 60 stone and look like the back end of a well used slurry tanker and there would still be a queue of guys of all ages attesting all the way to Inverness. So not all bad for the older ladies of the ones no one would normally be seen out with lol. |
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We're older than you and go to clubs and socials. I guess it's more about how you see yourselves.
The key is about social skills; starting or engaging in a conversation. It doesn't have to lead to anything sexual.
Sure one day we'll be the oldest people there but for now we don't worry about it. Just embrace the diversity and go with the flow! |
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