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Profile Opinion / Time wasters
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Every time we plan a meet, this week being three arranged, (couples, and separately of course) all have cancelled at the last minute. We’re lost to know what we’re doing wrong or whether we just come across boring to others.  |
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By *bi HaiveMan 8 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Have you given them any idea of what he looks like at all in the chat? Early on?
Because the profile, whilst in no way boring, is a little 'her' heavy.
If you're looking to meet couples then it's wise to give them a clear idea of you both from the outset. Cuts down on potential disappointment later.
Aside from that all I can suggest is perhaps speak on the phone as soon as interest is there. That way you can guarantee you're actually talking to a couple or a woman. |
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Though you're messaging a couple it's likely it's just the Man messaging and when his partner gets to know about it she may not be in the mood. We've bumped into couples on nights out and the Lady had no idea they'd messaged us. Maybe you could have a phone call with both the night before. Personally we only meet at a club. If they don't turn up we'll have a good night anyway and put it in private notes on their profile. |
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"Have you given them any idea of what he looks like at all in the chat? Early on?
Because the profile, whilst in no way boring, is a little 'her' heavy.
If you're looking to meet couples then it's wise to give them a clear idea of you both from the outset. Cuts down on potential disappointment later.
Aside from that all I can suggest is perhaps speak on the phone as soon as interest is there. That way you can guarantee you're actually talking to a couple or a woman. "
I was gonna say similar, you have no pics of the mr on your profile.
Have the couples asked to see pics of him at all.
It could be that it's a man on a couple profile that you've been taking to, if there's been any sexy chat, he's got what he wanted from your chat
Or it could be one was keen and the other not as much. |
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Do you have any pics of the Mr?
I'm not sure how you're expecting a couple to be happy to meet you without full disclosure of you both as a couple.
Unless they're all in friends only and you just add everyone before you meet?
If you're swapping pics privately, are you sure both in the couple are happy to meet? Finding couples where both men and women find eachother attractive enough for play is hard work and most won't take one for the team. So perhaps the attraction just isn't there?
Also, and this isn't a dig at all but if you're looking for play where the women play, alot of bisexual women don't like to play with just curious women, it's not uncommon to find the curious women are just "bi for the lads" or entirely inexperienced and that leads to an unsatisfying meet.
I'd totally recommend making your profile less her heavy, make it look more like a couples account. And past that, just keep trying, you'll get there! Perhaps an organised social is something to consider, you're not relying just on a profile to sell you then and can let your personalities shine through properly |
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Thanks for the feedback guys.
We do have more pictures within the friends section however are selective who are allowed to see for discretion. If we’re meeting or arranging, we have either met at a social, or messaged for a long time and become friends, exchanged pictures etc, and discussed boundaries so we all know where we are before we meet, and the first time is usually with a suggestion of a social if we’re not quite clicking.
I suppose we have just struggled for some time now and just come to the conclusion that we’re not that experienced and others don’t look at us and say they’ll have a mind blowing evening so easily passed over.  |
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"Thanks for the feedback guys.
We do have more pictures within the friends section however are selective who are allowed to see for discretion. If we’re meeting or arranging, we have either met at a social, or messaged for a long time and become friends, exchanged pictures etc, and discussed boundaries so we all know where we are before we meet, and the first time is usually with a suggestion of a social if we’re not quite clicking.
I suppose we have just struggled for some time now and just come to the conclusion that we’re not that experienced and others don’t look at us and say they’ll have a mind blowing evening so easily passed over. "
This doesn’t sound as though you’re very committed to actually getting jiggy with anyone.
Are you doing all the social bit, the chat, setting up a play meet then back pedalling it to another potential social as the time approaches? |
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Personally, reading the profile and veris, there is almost no sign of Mr. And his abilities. No photo of him (even a full length clothes body shot would benefit the profile to try get a four-way fit) makes it look like it’s a fishing expedition for ms. Too many very similar photos. 10 photos of both are more than enough with photos of both together are key for us. The profile says nothing of what is expected or on offer skills wise. As a full-swap couple we would pass it by as it would take too much back-and-forth to try and establish whether the juice is worth the squeeze. Sorry! |
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There's a lot of fakes and fantasists on here that won't meet, then there's the cheats that find some decency and don't go through with it.
It's just finding the right people and spotting those that'll never meet.
I find the social events much easier for meeting people, face value is so much better.
Mrs |
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"I’m not really bothering with people from online anymore, I’ve had no luck here in 4 months, so hopefully just seeing how the clubs work for me too"
Interesting. I get stood up so much. I have been told, “I am parking the car”. Location said they were miles away.
Does the report option for “no show” do anything?
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"Every time we plan a meet, this week being three arranged, (couples, and separately of course) all have cancelled at the last minute. We’re lost to know what we’re doing wrong or whether we just come across boring to others. "
We had two couples cancel on the day last week too  . So annoying when you shedule friends and family out of the way then spend ages getting ready. Yes a problem that is certainly getting worse on here.... Boring ?, hell no, lovely profile |
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I’m a single bi man and I’ve had this many times too. One couple have arranged a meeting 3 times (after weeks of detailed chatting) and just suddenly go off radar the day before for weeks.
I understand nerves and commitments/life may suddenly make meets impossible but it takes just a second to send a message.
Hands up I’ve let someone down before due to family hospital emergency. I kept them updated during the day of meet but I know the person didn’t believe me but nothing I could do.
Trust and honest is everything. Especially given what we’re all here for!
Like others have said, ‘couples’ are actually a lot of the time just men pretending to be couples. ??
Good luck with meeting someone soon! |
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"I’m a single bi man and I’ve had this many times too. One couple have arranged a meeting 3 times (after weeks of detailed chatting) and just suddenly go off radar the day before for weeks.
I understand nerves and commitments/life may suddenly make meets impossible but it takes just a second to send a message.
Hands up I’ve let someone down before due to family hospital emergency. I kept them updated during the day of meet but I know the person didn’t believe me but nothing I could do.
Trust and honest is everything. Especially given what we’re all here for!
Like others have said, ‘couples’ are actually a lot of the time just men pretending to be couples. ??
Good luck with meeting someone soon!"
Yes we had one couple let us down three times too, different and incredible excuses each time. Sometimes we'd get warning, other times just ghosted. Even moved to direct texting with her yet still messed us around  |
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I find that most couples profiles are male driven and the female half knows absolutely nothing about what's going on. When it gets down to actually meeting, things go quiet. It's best to ask for the female's mobile for a quick chat, that usually guarantees avanishing act. |
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"Every time we plan a meet, this week being three arranged, (couples, and separately of course) all have cancelled at the last minute. We’re lost to know what we’re doing wrong or whether we just come across boring to others. "
Profile looks fine and whatever is missing can be sorted with a few messages. You probably need to be a bit selective, check veris etc before arranging a meet. |
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"Though you're messaging a couple it's likely it's just the Man messaging and when his partner gets to know about it she may not be in the mood. We've bumped into couples on nights out and the Lady had no idea they'd messaged us. Maybe you could have a phone call with both the night before. Personally we only meet at a club. If they don't turn up we'll have a good night anyway and put it in private notes on their profile. "
This is so true & pretty much how we've adapted our playdates as well |
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"I find that most couples profiles are male driven and the female half knows absolutely nothing about what's going on. When it gets down to actually meeting, things go quiet. It's best to ask for the female's mobile for a quick chat, that usually guarantees avanishing act."
Not necessarily, in our fab friends circle who are all established couples, we have both male and female driven profiles and there is nothing wrong with either as long they are keeping their partners up to date. |
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