FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Doming a men for first time

Doming a men for first time

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *ntraditionalwoman OP   Woman 2 weeks ago

Manchester

I’ve been asked to dom a man. Honestly wouldn’t know where to start . Any advise

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ouple4voyeurCouple 2 weeks ago

Birmingham

In what scenario? What's he after in being dommed? Best answer is talk to him and find out what he wants.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *semeforfunMan 2 weeks ago

Bourne lincs

Wish I could find a Dom mistress x to use me for her pleasure xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ntraditionalwoman OP   Woman 2 weeks ago

Manchester


"In what scenario? What's he after in being dommed? Best answer is talk to him and find out what he wants. "

He’s not really said he said he would like it . I suggested a few things which he seems ok with maybe I just start there

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ames250122Man 2 weeks ago

Worcester


"I’ve been asked to dom a man. Honestly wouldn’t know where to start . Any advise"

I have some, though limited. A lot of people approach being dom with the wrong mindset and so understanding the role and what it really means to be dom is important I think. For that aspect I found a lot of useful theoretical stuff to read on the internet researching and understanding the responsibilities of being dom. Essentially your being but in a position of care and responsibility to someone who is making themselves very vulnerable to you and trusting you to have their wellbeing at heart. So at the very least you both need to have an in-depth conversation of what your sub wants and needs so your both on the same page, especially when it comes to boundaries and possible after care. Building trust by talking properly about what they want to happen and pre planning will help to begin with. However that’s all well and good but actually acting out what they want is a different matter altogether and depending on what they want you could easily end up hurting them by accident if you don’t know what your doing if your not careful. On the other hand, by being to timid you may come across that your not confident in what your doing which could in turn make them panic. So possibly try building up to trying things rather then going for it and trying to be everything they want straight away. You can then gradually build your confidence and their trust further. Lastly I would say your not alone, many people are in the same boat so going to BDSM clubs events or private Mistress dom training classes prior to trying with your meet will give you the practical experience and insight to help you feel more confident in what your doing and the control you have over what your doing. Hope that all makes sense and helps and you both have a great time exploring x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ellinever70Woman 2 weeks ago

Ayrshire


"I’ve been asked to dom a man. Honestly wouldn’t know where to start . Any advise"

Have you asked the man who requested it?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ames250122Man 2 weeks ago

Worcester

[Removed by poster at 29/04/24 08:27:50]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ames250122Man 2 weeks ago

Worcester


"In what scenario? What's he after in being dommed? Best answer is talk to him and find out what he wants.

He’s not really said he said he would like it . I suggested a few things which he seems ok with maybe I just start there "

I think the first step is tell him you both need to get to a place first where he feels comfortable enough opening up and telling you what he wants as he going to have to be comfortable being far more vulnerable then that to actually act out. Definitely don’t start with what you suggested, it needs to come from him, it’s part of the trust you need to share and makes things so much easier for you. Trying to guess what pleases them is making a rod for your own back as your not physic. That’s him taking the easy route out of putting all the responsibility of fulfilling his desires on you without anything to go on. He needs to be able to open up to you and tell you what he wants as that’s his responsibility. Like any sex, it’s not one half responsibility to do all the work. It’s the sub that dictates what they’re comfortable with to happen before hand, what their boundaries are, if they like or don’t like having them pushed. I would say you need to tell him, until your both at a place where he feels comfortable enough to open up and make himself feel vulnerable by sharing his desires with you, then the trust between you isn’t strong enough to actually act out because honestly they will need to be far more vulnerable and comfortable being passive to act out x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *Four_uCouple 2 weeks ago

Nr Blackpool

The first thing you need to do is talk to the person concerned about exactly what he means by it. Secondly, you need to understand if you think you can do what he wants. Third, you need to understand that the Fet world is different to the swing world and that yours and his mindset need to be together or at least in the same ball park. Fourth, don't rush in like a bull in a China shop, the last thing you want to do is to cause injury to someone and end up in your local casualty department! Take it slow, learn about yourself and him and learn how to breathe so you can teach how to breathe. Of course if you are actually talking about a snack on the arse with your hand and just calling him a naughty boy, then just get on with it lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rpeggioCouple 2 weeks ago

Baughurst


"I’ve been asked to dom a man. Honestly wouldn’t know where to start . Any advise"

__

Ask my wife

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rozac_fairyCouple 2 weeks ago

Tamworth

So when it comes to being a Domme, you have multiple conversations to start with -

1. Obviously choose your safe word

2. Consider what you both want out of the scene

3. Decide on what each of your hard limits are

4. What kind of play is going to be involved?

5. Aftercare

6. Account for Domme drop

That's your starting point, process all the information and then decide whether you want to proceed with the scene or not.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ats100Woman 2 weeks ago

glasgow


"So when it comes to being a Domme, you have multiple conversations to start with -

1. Obviously choose your safe word

2. Consider what you both want out of the scene

3. Decide on what each of your hard limits are

4. What kind of play is going to be involved?

5. Aftercare

6. Account for Domme drop

That's your starting point, process all the information and then decide whether you want to proceed with the scene or not. "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *edVelvet XWoman 2 weeks ago

Here and there

Is it something you are actually interested in doing OP?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *Four_uCouple 2 weeks ago

Nr Blackpool


"So when it comes to being a Domme, you have multiple conversations to start with -

1. Obviously choose your safe word

2. Consider what you both want out of the scene

3. Decide on what each of your hard limits are

4. What kind of play is going to be involved?

5. Aftercare

6. Account for Domme drop

That's your starting point, process all the information and then decide whether you want to proceed with the scene or not. "

I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see someone mention D/drop. It's not something you often hear spoken about in other places and practically never, if ever, on here.. thank you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rozac_fairyCouple 2 weeks ago

Tamworth


"So when it comes to being a Domme, you have multiple conversations to start with -

1. Obviously choose your safe word

2. Consider what you both want out of the scene

3. Decide on what each of your hard limits are

4. What kind of play is going to be involved?

5. Aftercare

6. Account for Domme drop

That's your starting point, process all the information and then decide whether you want to proceed with the scene or not.

I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see someone mention D/drop. It's not something you often hear spoken about in other places and practically never, if ever, on here.. thank you "

You're more than welcome! I've been in the kink community years and have amassed a successful career as a Professional Femme Domme so I always try to mention Domme/Dom drop as I think it can be an unexpected shock to people who don't know/understand it's a thing, it can hit heavy sometimes and everyone should be as thoroughly prepared as possible to ensure the entire expereince is fun for everyone x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *Four_uCouple 2 weeks ago

Nr Blackpool


"So when it comes to being a Domme, you have multiple conversations to start with -

1. Obviously choose your safe word

2. Consider what you both want out of the scene

3. Decide on what each of your hard limits are

4. What kind of play is going to be involved?

5. Aftercare

6. Account for Domme drop

That's your starting point, process all the information and then decide whether you want to proceed with the scene or not.

I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see someone mention D/drop. It's not something you often hear spoken about in other places and practically never, if ever, on here.. thank you

You're more than welcome! I've been in the kink community years and have amassed a successful career as a Professional Femme Domme so I always try to mention Domme/Dom drop as I think it can be an unexpected shock to people who don't know/understand it's a thing, it can hit heavy sometimes and everyone should be as thoroughly prepared as possible to ensure the entire expereince is fun for everyone x"

Thank you again x I've been a fetishist for 34 years and have spoken about dropping many times and have been told on many occasions that it's nonsense and what I should be talking about and understand is sub drop, which of course is a thing a very real thing. What too many people fail to understand is that both sides of the equation will experience heightened endorphin release, to varying degrees, during play or a scenario. And what goes up must come down and sometimes that down can fall fast and or heavy, and it ain't funny when it does. I struggled with it as a sign of weakness for a long time, I know now better and have done for years and in turn I now embrace it as a managed positive because it means I hit a spot in my mind. That's not to say it doesn't still knock me sideways for a bit on occasion, because it does! Long live emotion, it's where we find the truth. Mark x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aribbean King 1985Man 2 weeks ago

South West London

Couldnt submit to a woman like that

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *Four_uCouple 2 weeks ago

Nr Blackpool


"Couldnt submit to a woman like that "

We are all different 7 billion shades of grey....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *panksspankedMan 2 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Tie him up, flog him then have at him with a strap on. That should do for starters

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ueerKinkyCoupleCouple 2 weeks ago

Cambridge (She/They And They/Them)

[Removed by poster at 02/05/24 04:35:08]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ueerKinkyCoupleCouple 2 weeks ago

Cambridge (She/They And They/Them)

When I Domme people, there are four things I need to know:

1) I like to know what they’re hoping to feel (cared for, nurtured, small, dirty, sexy, overwhelmed, coerced, restrained, trapped, humiliated, praised, detached, scared, floaty, dreamlike, subservient…)

2) I need to know their limits. Which things are an absolute no (hard limits) and which things are no-for-now (soft limits)? (Flogging, cutting, piss, shit, blood, caning, bruising, breath play, restraint, photos, certain words, CBC, certain roleplays, etc etc etc)?

3) I need to know what aftercare they need (cuddles, space, chocolate, sleep etc).

4) Safety. Do they have medical issues, allergies, etc? Agree a safeword and agree what it means.

After that, the idea is that the sub can let go of some control and let me give them an experience. I won’t do any of their hard limits and they will use their safewords if they want something to stop.

Dee

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ane DTV/TS 2 weeks ago

Glasgow.

Another thing I look out for is a lack of response, where the endorphins have take over and the sub is unable to respond coherently.

If they are unable to respond, then they cannot give/remove consent. So for the safety of both parties I end the session and move into after care mode.

To assist in dealing with my domme drop, I check in with the submissive over the next few days to ensure they are ok.

Conversation is key, before, during and after.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *9 Love-To-TryCouple 2 weeks ago

East Anglia

Some great advice on this thread, taking care of my Sub is so important but also understanding my own moods etc helps us enjoy the lifestyle

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0312

0