FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Body confidence after gaining weight!
Body confidence after gaining weight!
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Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help!  |
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By *ickylouCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"Look absolutely gorgeous
I'm outside ur age range do can't message in private
Butisten to ur partner he is right
Thank you 😊"
You look stunning. Your figure looks perfect.
The sexiest thing in a woman is her mind and her confidence x |
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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago
Forum Mod Central |
Yes will be what a huge number of people really want. Perhaps consider letting yourself be around those who will like you, so that the experience of them finding you attractive becomes normalised and integrated within your expectations. Yes won't have to be having sex with any of them, merely becoming accustomed to people appreciating how you are today, in the flesh. You'll probably find it has a much deeper and stronger effect and meaning, than just hearing it. Fab socials or clubs, could be safe places where you could experience this real-time, without any optional physical contact. Reach into your heart, because you'll likely know instinctively what you need and what could uplift your spirits. |
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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago
Forum Mod Central |
"Yes will be what a huge number of people really want. Perhaps consider letting yourself be around those who will like you, so that the experience of them finding you attractive becomes normalised and integrated within your expectations. Yes won't have to be having sex with any of them, merely becoming accustomed to people appreciating how you are today, in the flesh. You'll probably find it has a much deeper and stronger effect and meaning, than just hearing it. Fab socials or clubs, could be safe places where you could experience this real-time, without any optional physical contact. Reach into your heart, because you'll likely know instinctively what you need and what could uplift your spirits. "
Sorry for the typo  |
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"Yes will be what a huge number of people really want. Perhaps consider letting yourself be around those who will like you, so that the experience of them finding you attractive becomes normalised and integrated within your expectations. Yes won't have to be having sex with any of them, merely becoming accustomed to people appreciating how you are today, in the flesh. You'll probably find it has a much deeper and stronger effect and meaning, than just hearing it. Fab socials or clubs, could be safe places where you could experience this real-time, without any optional physical contact. Reach into your heart, because you'll likely know instinctively what you need and what could uplift your spirits.
Sorry for the typo "
🖤🖤🖤🖤 |
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"Look absolutely gorgeous
I'm outside ur age range do can't message in private
Butisten to ur partner he is right
Thank you 😊
You look stunning. Your figure looks perfect.
The sexiest thing in a woman is her mind and her confidence x"
Thank you! I need to build that confidence some how. |
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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago
Forum Mod Central |
One other thing that struck me, is for you to ensure that you take all pressure off yourself, to get to how you want to be. You don't deserve any undue stresses or strains, when your central spirit is hurting and feeling loss, from how you used to be. It's wonderful that you have your partner now and maybe you can let him be the sweetness and nourishment for your soul, whilst you relax more and soak up the goodness reflected from who you are. |
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Please try to be kind to yourself. Whatever you have overcome, you look absolutely stunning! Listen to the compliments, accept them and soon you will start to believe them. For a bit of extra self love, if you can, maybes treat yourself to a massage or a nice body cream - it will help you get back in tune with your body. Get some new underwear (check you’re still in the right bra size if you’ve changed dress size/shape) and a perfume that makes you feel sexy. Men love all shapes and sizes but from your pics, I’d say you look pretty damn perfect ☺️ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
Sorry you’re going through this.
Just do more exercise. Walking, running or yoga and reduce your calories.
Stay smiling and strong 💪🏼💪🏼 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ex professional dancer here. Size 6 for years. I went through a long period of bemoaning my physical changes after curtailing dancing and a few health issues that meant i lost a huge amount of my strength and muscle tone.
I was very hard on myself and fixated on what I had lost, didnt like or would change, despite a very supportive hubby.
I had to shift my focus (granted easier said than done) to what I DO LIKE and admire and appreciate about myself and then focus on those. Hence I’ll now buy things that emphasize what I like and hides what I don’t.
Most people will tell you thr sexiest thing about a lady is confidence. How you smile, act, carry yourself and use your femininity (my hubby describes it as the “power of the pussy”) can be the most alluring thing.
A confident 12/14 as opposed to a shrinking violet size 6 would win every time |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
I would say that you will still have the same amount of people thinking you look stunning. As there will be a variation as someone may not be in to size 6 but absolutely loves size 8 then the next person loves size 10 and so on.
So it’s more how you see yourself than people not liking your current size. There are so many people out there you will always find plenty that love your look and that includes myself  |
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You look amazing! 🤤
I used to be really self-conscious about my body, but I'm feeling a lot better about it now. We started going to clubs, and I would just hide in a corner wrapped in a towel.
But now I'm like 'meh,' and I walk around in my underwear, sometimes with my boobies out, lol. Going to the clubs actually really helped—seeing all the different shapes and sizes and realising nobody is really judging.
Curls x |
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I'm exactly the same our earlier fab pics I was a size 8 which I had been all my life, I'm now a 14/16 and totally struggle with the alien in the mirror that doesn't look like me anymore.
I'm slowly learning to like my body again but it is still alien however I love my new found boobs!!
Our fab pics have strangely helped me, when the Mr does the pics and I see them after I'm surprised that's me in a good way, but the negative thoughts are still there in day to day life.
I hope you find the love for your new curves, you look great - we are our own worst critics.
Mrs |
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This is such an interesting subject, I'm sorry you're feeling that way but thank you for speaking up as I'm sure so many other people will benefit from the conversation too!
This is something I've always wondered about with the lifestyle, how does it make women feel? As a man, my assumption is that you would feel like an absolute goddess, desired by thousands of men as we all clamber at the hope of being noticed!
Sexiness is such a mindset, and confidence is hot! I'll try not to get too bogged down in how stunning you look in your pictures because I get this is a how you feel thing, but I would hope that getting dressed up (or not) and spending a little time in the cam rooms, or building up to a club, and just looking at the admiration and attention you get, well I hope it makes you feel as good as you deserve to feel about yourself x X X
(P.s. seriously though, you are hot as fuck!!!  ) |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
As someone who in early 30s was slim and now I am not I know what you mean.
I hate getting in to pools and taking all my clothes off don’t mind removing my trousers but hate my belly.
I think you just have to live with it |
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By *ickylouCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"Look absolutely gorgeous
I'm outside ur age range do can't message in private
Butisten to ur partner he is right
Thank you 😊
You look stunning. Your figure looks perfect.
The sexiest thing in a woman is her mind and her confidence x
Thank you! I need to build that confidence some how."
Come to the next UP THE BRUM socail. They are a wonderful safe place to get to know people. |
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"I'm exactly the same our earlier fab pics I was a size 8 which I had been all my life, I'm now a 14/16 and totally struggle with the alien in the mirror that doesn't look like me anymore.
I'm slowly learning to like my body again but it is still alien however I love my new found boobs!!
Our fab pics have strangely helped me, when the Mr does the pics and I see them after I'm surprised that's me in a good way, but the negative thoughts are still there in day to day life.
I hope you find the love for your new curves, you look great - we are our own worst critics.
Mrs "
OMG THE BOOBS! I've gone from a B cup to a D! That I am pretty chuffed with.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you have a gorgeous body and I also have major boob envy!
Honestly i can’t see anything wrong with your figure at all.
Embrace yourself because you look lovely x |
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This forum definately hit home with me. As I'm getting older and with my lumps, bumps, anxiety and mental health issues I am struggling more with my confidence and hence struggling to approach new ppl, especially in the clubs. I miss all signals if anyone is interested or not 😂
Actually I'm wondering if this new event Xtasia have asked me and my husband to host stating 'we are a perfect fit' would help anyone. It's going to be aimed at building ppls confidence and helping ppl meet and interact with new ppl that believe they have imperfections. I believe nobody is perfect and we should all embrace all the positives things we have to offer others and ourselves xx
The event happening at Xtasia on Saturday 8th March called Perfect Imperfections.
Feel free to have a look:
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/events/1678402
Hopefully see some of you there.
Tabby x |
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By *heelerMan
over a year ago
Northants |
"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
Well you look stunning by your photos and men would love to get to know you |
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You look amazing.
I often go through stages of feeling similarly self conscious especially after Christmas. As fate would have it the only evening we could go to a club lately was Thursday evening which is naked night, I was a nervous wreck before going but having bit the bullet and chatting away I realised it was in my own head and not what others were seeing. |
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I have to say I find your physicality extremely appealing. Like me there are a great number of us men and women who appreciate what you suggest you dislike about yourself. Personally the more curvaceous a woman the more sensual and desirable I find them. Believing your partner and me is a psychological hurdle you need to get over.
Why don’t you try posting your pics on Zoig.com, it gives any admirer of the fuller figure the opportunity to express their appreciation of your physique. I would hope specific comments and communication would give you more confidence the more you receive and respond to.
The more artistic the pose and subsequent photo the more positive the comments you will receive. It seems you have a lovely partner with a good eye for just that.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and gift you the realisation of how beautiful you actually are.
Go forth with confidence. 🪄
Simon 💋💋
PS. I can’t wait to see more of you. 💋 |
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
You look absolutely amazing and I wouldn't worry. I was 13st then suffered a back injury which led me to have an option it which didn't work so I cannot exercise due to being in chronic pain most of the time. My weight piled on and now I'm 18st, diabetic and and more drugs than Escobar got his hands on!
You should be extremely proud of the way you look. There are thousands of women who would kill for a body like yours |
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Hi
My wife has the same problem
But when from a size 12 to 20
She completely redrawn for any sexual activity.
But..
You look stunning and most men like curves
Size 14 a nice size if you lost weight great.
But any man would be so proud to have you.
Embrace the new sexy you and have a great time. |
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
You look amazing, no more words needed x |
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I'm a 16/18 depending on shop lol
Been going to swinging clubs for about six months and been full-time femme for 2 or 3 years.
What I've picked up from the clubs and dealing with a middle aged body that is far too masculine is that there is room for every body shape and size out there and whoever you are and whatever you look like, it's a thing of beauty and something to be celebrated.
We're all our own worst critics. I know it's a long process but you need to listen to your partner and the people around you. They see you with outside eyes and they don't have that little negative voice we all have inside that says "ugh" when we look in the mirror. They're right, you know? You're gorgeous. Just try to take their word for it.
You're doing so well. This random internet stranger is proud of you for the progress you've made. You've got this |
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"A size 6/ 8
To be fair is not what guys like
Certainly not me
May I ask ur size now
12/14 now. Pretty much all in proportion bar my stomach which is the bit I hate. "
Perfect size with curves in the right place.
|
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
you look stunning very sexy all women x
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Find an outfit that flatters your beautiful curves, makes you feels sexy and is comfortable too.
I have my go to skirt and top for this exact occasion. When I'm feeling shit and low in self esteem.. it gives me such a confidence boost...I feel sexy in it.
No matter how curvy a woman (or man) I'd...confidence is the sexiest thing! Love yourself 😘
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
I call myself imperfectly perfect.
The world is a vacuous place. Porn culture tries to create a fantasy where all women have perfect bodies and digitally altered photos perpetuate the myth. The reality is that bodies change - MEN included - over time. Many man seem to expect the perfect body whilst their own is far from perfect.
The answer is to love yourself and f*ck the haters. |
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From what I know and experience, curves are very sexy and attractive.
Many ,many people prefer that body shape for women.
We all change with time and I think we all have to go with it and try embrace the changes. |
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You look wonderful
We never accept our partner’s opinion, I tell my wife how beautiful she is, how sexy, but she doesn’t believe or see it for herself.
We’ve just started using the paired app and I’m hoping it will help rekindle things between us. |
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We're both certainly bigger than we'd like but madly dieting. Both Cherry and I cringe at the thought of attending clubs but still push ourselves to go. We're usually so glad we did too !, once there we find plenty who are larger than us and we walk round as if we own the place lol. Maybe take the plunge and try a good club, we doubt you'd regret it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
From what I can see from your pictures, you look very attractive and have a fantastic body. It's great your partner is there to give you a confidence boost as well x. |
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By *eleusMan
over a year ago
Barnstaple |
I’ve just viewed your profile and wanted let you know how hot you look in your photos! I’m everyone was once smaller than they are now but I can assure you that you have the sexy wow factor for sure! |
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
You're hot, many above have said it, I'm saying it, more importantly your partner says it. The challenge you have is convincing yourself of it.
I used to be a size 6/8, now I'm a 12 too (was 14) although mine is from having children and not illness. I've tried fad diets, different clothes, working out more and the thing I found that helped me most was last year I did a boudoir shoot that my husband got for me. I had my makeup and hair done professionally, and got to dress up and be photographed. I was terrified as I'd never done anything like it before, but the confidence it gave me afterwards was crazy. Since then I've been calorie counting and sticking to 1400 most days. I'm down in weight and feel like it was only possible because of the feeling I got from seeing myself how others were.
I know that isn't for everyone and it may not be for you (I didn't think it was for me) but at the very least it should be considered. All women should experience it.
I really hope you find that confidence that you deserve to have. 😘
Freyja x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
Absolutely nothing wrong with you |
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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago
Forum Mod Central |
I'd get to clubs, not potentially for sex but to get the positive feedback from others reception of you, to rebuild your self-esteem. I think just a few visits would do you wonders. You could potentially try counselling, to discuss and talk things through too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey you sexy lot! Just after some advice.
I'm new to the scene. Used to be a size 6/8 and athletic then became chronically ill. So, naturally my body has changed somewhat over the last 8-10 years.
I've completely lost my confidence in myself. I feel ugly and just not sexy at all. So that then makes swinging very difficult!
What can I do to get that oomph back in my step? I need to start to love my curves as I'll never be back to that size 6/8.
I have a partner who is amazing and supportive (who is also on here) and tells me often that I'm sexy but I just can't believe it myself. Help! "
I think you will find most men don’t actually want a size 6/8 woman. Curves are far more sexier. As an older woman who was once a 8 I much prefer my size 12/14 frame. I hope you’re not saying that size cannot be sexy because trust me it can.
Confidence is a trick. Like you I have a tummy but guys seem to like that, so blot it out of my mind and ooze that sexiness. I’m sure the amount of men who have commented on your pics have boosted your confidence, but ideally confidence should come from within and not because a few guys say so. Like I say confidence is all a trick, go work it |
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Everyone goes through this. I(male half) yo -yo massively between 11.5 and 14.5 stone currently 13.5 but on the way back down. Woke up last week looked in the mirror and was like wtf and immediately went on a diet. OP you look a nice healthy size so I wouldn’t worry at all just try and be happy in your own skin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve just looked at your pics and can say you look absolutely stunning… just believe that you are…
Sounds like you have a good partner… he’s already telling you this x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could tell you that you look amazing and any guy would be privileged to meet you. But unless you believe it yourself nothing anyone says will matter. Time, illness, lifestyle all take a toll on our bodies and appearance.
You need to realise that you are beautiful as you are and anything else, ie. toning up losing weight, is a bonus |
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