FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Advice about my "grinding" female friends
Advice about my "grinding" female friends
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
Curious to get a female perspective or insight into this. But of course all thoughts from anywhere are welcome.
I have a couple of female friends in my extended circle of friends. These two women do know each other but not all that well, they are certainly not "close" friends with each other, more acquaintances. I have known both of these women quite a long time now and we've always got on great. I've never "gone out" or been intimate or done anything sexually with either of them. One is the ex-partner of my best mate and mother of my god-daughter whilst the other I worked with for a while but we've always stayed in touch and been friends. Whilst neither are currently married both are in relationships that have been going steady for several years.
Whenever we're at a social gathering and either of these two women are there - very occasionally they both might be there but that's quite rare - we'll of course chat and if its noisy cos of chatter or background music we'll naturally lean close and every single time both women will end up rubbing one of their tits against me, usually my arm. Now for clarity I'm not talking the odd brush or maybe being a bit unsteady as a few too many drinks. This happens if we're sober or whatever too. And its sustained. As we'll chat away, both will literally grind and grind their tits against me for the entire conversation, that could last quite a while. Like I say we are good friends and have lots it chat about. But it highly intrigues me that they both do it and its every single time. These are not one offs.
Now, the bit I'm asking is I'm intrigued - like I say mainly from a woman's point of view - as to why they are doing this? Obviously there is some attraction there. What I'm pondering is what are they getting out of it? Also, how are they expecting or even hoping me to react?
Are they just getting an extra thrill as its a bit risqué? If I got together with either of them I'm not saying it would cause WW3 or divorces or anything but it would affect the "harmony" of our group of friends. Chins would wag and fingers pointed.
Or is it a "just come and get me" and so am I supposed to throw caution to the wind and take things further? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Boobs stick out...stuff happens. If you think there's something in it just ask them."
Maybe. But this isn't just stick out or just happens. If I pull away they move back in. This is over dozens and dozens of times.
But thanks! Maybe I need to just ask. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There was a thread very similar to this some time ago.
No matter what women said the guy insisted he knew it was deliberate.
It might be but to have two women doing it on purpose must surely be quite unusual.
Some very padded bras mean that you could be swiping everyone on the tube with your left breast and be none the wiser though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"There was a thread very similar to this some time ago.
No matter what women said the guy insisted he knew it was deliberate.
It might be but to have two women doing it on purpose must surely be quite unusual.
Some very padded bras mean that you could be swiping everyone on the tube with your left breast and be none the wiser though"
Could be padded bras. Hadn't thought of that, that's why its good to gain other perspectives. Thanks!
I am highly wary of it being me thinking wrongly its deliberate so have waited a long time before drawing any conclusions. Its happened far too many times for it not to be deliberate, that's my honest feeling. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Interesting post as I've experienced the very same thing with my boss's wife.
Of course I never did anything as I like my job. And my boss is a cool guy too.
But like the OP it happens every single time. Even if I deliberately pull back. She will move in close again.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"there in relationships. its normal to be friendly / have banter with somebody you know ...........its nowt to do with sex.
"
Could just be that. That's why I'm wary and curious for feedback. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As a female, I've had this happen too, with other women brushing their boobs on me. One time, I had a masseur literally press her boobs on my face - she was leaning over to reach a knot. There was nothing sexual in it whatsoever.
Equally, I'm sure I've unconsciously done this kind of thing to others on occasion.
It's nothing more than boobs getting in the way of the obvious intent - in your case, leaning in to chat and be heard.
I wouldn't think anything more to it than that.
C |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"As a female, I've had this happen too, with other women brushing their boobs on me. One time, I had a masseur literally press her boobs on my face - she was leaning over to reach a knot. There was nothing sexual in it whatsoever.
Equally, I'm sure I've unconsciously done this kind of thing to others on occasion.
It's nothing more than boobs getting in the way of the obvious intent - in your case, leaning in to chat and be heard.
I wouldn't think anything more to it than that.
C"
Interesting, thank you.
My only things that made me write the post is it happens when its not noisy too and also if I move back they will still move in and "make contact" and its not a brush or touch, its I can only describe as massaging or, as I say, "grinding" for extended periods of time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"When I'm going to the bar I'm literally pushing people out of the way with my boobs. It's not a sexual thing  "
Completely different situation. I am talking about times when we are almost alone or certainly not squashed in crowd. I am talking acres of personal space. As you say crowded bar trying to get served, bound to happen! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"They sound quite badly behaved "
This is why I'm asking. Do other women actively do this? Do they do this for the thrill of being "badly behaved"?
I just do not know, hence me asking. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Do the old "jeez girl, if you keep rubbing them titties in me, one day I'm going to cop a proper feel" ... You'll either get an apology or an invite"
...or a slap! Haha
I guess my question would be answered though! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do the old "jeez girl, if you keep rubbing them titties in me, one day I'm going to cop a proper feel" ... You'll either get an apology or an invite
...or a slap! Haha
I guess my question would be answered though!"
Let us know how you get on... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Do the old "jeez girl, if you keep rubbing them titties in me, one day I'm going to cop a proper feel" ... You'll either get an apology or an invite
...or a slap! Haha
I guess my question would be answered though!
Let us know how you get on... "
To be honest I'm not really looking to take things further with either of them.
I am just curious why they do it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Honestly if they're grinding and grinding as you say it has to be deliberate. I would certainly be aware that I was doing something like that.
If I was in a situation where a guy was grinding his chest against me and when I moved back leaning in to continue the very least I would do is ask him what he was darn well playing at. I think you should do the same with these two ladies |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Honestly if they're grinding and grinding as you say it has to be deliberate. I would certainly be aware that I was doing something like that.
If I was in a situation where a guy was grinding his chest against me and when I moved back leaning in to continue the very least I would do is ask him what he was darn well playing at. I think you should do the same with these two ladies"
Yes, I am certain in my mind this is deliberate. Its gone on many years now, one much longer than the other. One of the Mods quite rightly questioned whether its me just perceiving they do this but, I can only say I now believe it is deliberate. They do it everytime, if alcohol is involved it can be more intense, if that the right word!
It doesn't bother me. Certainly doesn't offend me. Nothing like that. I am just curious why they do it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Honestly if they're grinding and grinding as you say it has to be deliberate. I would certainly be aware that I was doing something like that.
If I was in a situation where a guy was grinding his chest against me and when I moved back leaning in to continue the very least I would do is ask him what he was darn well playing at. I think you should do the same with these two ladies
Yes, I am certain in my mind this is deliberate. Its gone on many years now, one much longer than the other. One of the Mods quite rightly questioned whether its me just perceiving they do this but, I can only say I now believe it is deliberate. They do it everytime, if alcohol is involved it can be more intense, if that the right word!
It doesn't bother me. Certainly doesn't offend me. Nothing like that. I am just curious why they do it! "
The only people who can tell you that is them. I can't imagine doing it myself so can't help with motives |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This seems to have been going on for a while and you know both these ladies quite well. Surely then, why not just ask them if they are aware of it?
Just gauge the tone how to ask but again, with your knowledge of them, it shouldn't be too difficult and/or awkward.
Interested to know how it goes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Honestly if they're grinding and grinding as you say it has to be deliberate. I would certainly be aware that I was doing something like that.
If I was in a situation where a guy was grinding his chest against me and when I moved back leaning in to continue the very least I would do is ask him what he was darn well playing at. I think you should do the same with these two ladies
Yes, I am certain in my mind this is deliberate. Its gone on many years now, one much longer than the other. One of the Mods quite rightly questioned whether its me just perceiving they do this but, I can only say I now believe it is deliberate. They do it everytime, if alcohol is involved it can be more intense, if that the right word!
It doesn't bother me. Certainly doesn't offend me. Nothing like that. I am just curious why they do it!
The only people who can tell you that is them. I can't imagine doing it myself so can't help with motives "
Had quite a few replies, mostly private, from women also saying it would never be something they'd do either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"This seems to have been going on for a while and you know both these ladies quite well. Surely then, why not just ask them if they are aware of it?
Just gauge the tone how to ask but again, with your knowledge of them, it shouldn't be too difficult and/or awkward.
Interested to know how it goes. "
Of course I'd like to know too but I'm wary of rocking the boat potentially.
It does not bother or offend me or whatever. Just intrigues me! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
So far no woman has claimed doing that as a come on.
I have tits. They're small and often in padded bras. I am aware of one time getting a raised eyebrow and a pointed glance at the boob I hadn't realised was pressed against someone I was talking to that I had leaned I to to say something to quietly. I apologised and moved back. But likely it has happened other times and I haven't clocked it.
I have never deliberately pressed my tits against someone I wasn't actively involved with as a means of indicating that I wanted to bone them.
If you think it's a deliberate thing, ask them. Only they can tell you what their motivations are if it is on purpose 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"So far no woman has claimed doing that as a come on.
I have tits. They're small and often in padded bras. I am aware of one time getting a raised eyebrow and a pointed glance at the boob I hadn't realised was pressed against someone I was talking to that I had leaned I to to say something to quietly. I apologised and moved back. But likely it has happened other times and I haven't clocked it.
I have never deliberately pressed my tits against someone I wasn't actively involved with as a means of indicating that I wanted to bone them.
If you think it's a deliberate thing, ask them. Only they can tell you what their motivations are if it is on purpose 💜"
You're right no woman, even privately, has claimed that.
It could just be padding and they not realise. Others suggested that and it could just be that. However, I will add if I deliberately move back away then both will move back against me, especially if alcohol is being consumed.
I could ask yes. I'm tempted to! I'm just wary of rocking the boat as it were. Don't want to cause a scene or awkwardness, if that makes sense? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So far no woman has claimed doing that as a come on.
I have tits. They're small and often in padded bras. I am aware of one time getting a raised eyebrow and a pointed glance at the boob I hadn't realised was pressed against someone I was talking to that I had leaned I to to say something to quietly. I apologised and moved back. But likely it has happened other times and I haven't clocked it.
I have never deliberately pressed my tits against someone I wasn't actively involved with as a means of indicating that I wanted to bone them.
If you think it's a deliberate thing, ask them. Only they can tell you what their motivations are if it is on purpose 💜
You're right no woman, even privately, has claimed that.
It could just be padding and they not realise. Others suggested that and it could just be that. However, I will add if I deliberately move back away then both will move back against me, especially if alcohol is being consumed.
I could ask yes. I'm tempted to! I'm just wary of rocking the boat as it were. Don't want to cause a scene or awkwardness, if that makes sense? "
I'd say it's them causing awkwardness by deliberately rubbing their breasts on you. Would you deliberately and consistently grind any part of your body on someone you were just friends with in a purely social setting? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You're right no woman, even privately, has claimed that.
It could just be padding and they not realise. Others suggested that and it could just be that. However, I will add if I deliberately move back away then both will move back against me, especially if alcohol is being consumed.
I could ask yes. I'm tempted to! I'm just wary of rocking the boat as it were. Don't want to cause a scene or awkwardness, if that makes sense? "
If someone moves away with a clear problem with the proximity then moving back into them is creepy. If someone shifts slightly for physical comfort and the environment means it'll be difficult to be heard at the new angle, such as in a bar with loud music or cross chatter, it makes sense to move closer once they've straightened their back or whatever if there's no indication that the discomfort is directly related to them.
If you're sure it's deliberate, what boat are you rocking?
It's deliberate but you're supposed to be too confused or panicked or whatever to ever mention it, then what? You're just supposed to feel obliged to tolerate it while they somehow get off on it? Some kind of power trip? Sexual harassment chicken with an unconsenting player? That doesn't sound like a healthy situation to continue to exist if that's what it is.
Simply asking someone quietly and privately why they do something isn't causing a scene. Screaming it across the office is causing a scene. Just be a rational human when you ask.
Don't act on the assumption that there's sexual intent without direct verbal confirmation. Don't tolerate deliberate sexual contact from someone who isn't willing to discuss it with you.
And keep in mind that tits are forever sticking out and in the way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel sure it's not sexual - as others have said, if you step back, it's natural for people to step forward to close the gap and be able to hear better. Some people don't have good social space awareness
One of my colleagues does it to me - her norks are enormous and they are just always there, brushing my arm or body.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Tell them you are uncomfortable about it and ask them to stop.....or go further. You can make the second part sound anyway way you like and they are free to intemperate it as a come on or your attemp to lighten the mood as you have just said stop. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
Thanks once again for some very interesting and enlightening replies.
Just for clarity though this situation doesn't bother me or offend me in anyway. Certain people suggesting I'm a "victim" almost. No, not at all. I guess at the end of the day I'm not questioning so much what they're doing, just WHY they're doing it. And as many have suggested if I really want to know I have to ask. Which is fair enough.
I've had a lot of private replies to this too so many thanks to you as well as the contributors above. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Here are my best guesses
1. They're completely unaware they're doing it
2. They become completely unaware of personal space after having a couple of drinks
3. They think you like it
4. They get a kick from doing it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enton OP Man
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Here are my best guesses
1. They're completely unaware they're doing it
2. They become completely unaware of personal space after having a couple of drinks
3. They think you like it
4. They get a kick from doing it"
I think you're right. And each one could be any or either of those or even a unique combination! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Boobs stick out...stuff happens. If you think there's something in it just ask them."
Oh my go😲😮 I’d run over hot coals just to see your tits swinging as you fuck. Beautiful lady sexy smile and bum but perfect tits xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When I'm going to the bar I'm literally pushing people out of the way with my boobs. It's not a sexual thing
Completely different situation. I am talking about times when we are almost alone or certainly not squashed in crowd. I am talking acres of personal space. As you say crowded bar trying to get served, bound to happen! "
It could be innocent so rather than react by rubbing them where they touch ie your arm, say would you like to make something of that? Or similar, we only live once and it’s always better to ask than not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
