FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Confidence in the bin, feel like crap
Confidence in the bin, feel like crap
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Sometimes I'll see a girls status or read her profile just think to myself whats the point... not because what they wrote or asking for its just i feel like im never gonna be "that guy" you know.
I know im not the worst looking guy in the world and i do get responses sometimes its just well i can tell when im not wanted and it just feels like shit sorry for venting but had to. |
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Everyone is only mutually compatible with a tiny fraction of the population. We need to hold that in mind and set realistic expectations as well as not letting ourselves base our confidence on Fab experience.
You, as we all have, the opportunities to use Fab as smartly as we're able to. The core parts of the site require a few minutes of our efforts, to ensure that they optimise your potential here. Single men must use their profiles and pics to communicate with others what they are all about - giving them the chance to know whether you might be good for them. Every guy who doesn't, will be overtaken by another equal man who does this.
This is a swinging site, so being active in the swinging world gets you known by others. For men, it's reasonable to expect that you have to invest effort and pick yourself up, if you get to stumble etc.
Keep off, when it knocks your mental health and wellbeing.
Good luck  |
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Hey OP.
Feeling rejected sucks. And sites like this will always be full of rejection.
If it's getting you down, just hide your profile and log out. It'll still be here if you feel like coming back when you have a better headspace. But there's no point continuing to do something that you know is bringing you down.
Take some time for you. Do the things that make you happy instead of worrying about pussy for a bit 💜 |
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"It takes a lot of time and patience, I do beleive there is a match for everyone on here, granted usually the other end of the country but patience really is a virtue on here, Oh and thick skin."
Yeah hope your right mate, my skin is getting a lil thin for my age it seems of late. Gonna take a break and get stronger tho cheers |
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"Everyone is only mutually compatible with a tiny fraction of the population. We need to hold that in mind and set realistic expectations as well as not letting ourselves base our confidence on Fab experience.
You, as we all have, the opportunities to use Fab as smartly as we're able to. The core parts of the site require a few minutes of our efforts, to ensure that they optimise your potential here. Single men must use their profiles and pics to communicate with others what they are all about - giving them the chance to know whether you might be good for them. Every guy who doesn't, will be overtaken by another equal man who does this.
This is a swinging site, so being active in the swinging world gets you known by others. For men, it's reasonable to expect that you have to invest effort and pick yourself up, if you get to stumble etc.
Keep off, when it knocks your mental health and wellbeing.
Good luck "
Wise words, im aware of the community side of the site but im not a very social person, dont think i would fit in so to speak, wouldnt want to force anything you know. |
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"Hey OP.
Feeling rejected sucks. And sites like this will always be full of rejection.
If it's getting you down, just hide your profile and log out. It'll still be here if you feel like coming back when you have a better headspace. But there's no point continuing to do something that you know is bringing you down.
Take some time for you. Do the things that make you happy instead of worrying about pussy for a bit 💜"
Tbf I can just about deal with the rejection its just now that i've realised that im like pre-rejecting myself before even making any attempts of contact and that cant be a good thing...
Taking a long break from all this sounds very good to me atm cheers
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"It's just how it is, people think it's easier for others, it's not unless you'd fuck anything with a pulse.
If it's making you feel shitty though OP maybe it's time for a break."
Yeah got to have some standards of course no issues with that
And yeah I will, not like anyone will notice but oh well lol |
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"Hey OP.
Feeling rejected sucks. And sites like this will always be full of rejection.
If it's getting you down, just hide your profile and log out. It'll still be here if you feel like coming back when you have a better headspace. But there's no point continuing to do something that you know is bringing you down.
Take some time for you. Do the things that make you happy instead of worrying about pussy for a bit 💜"
This is great advice. Have a kitkat,take a break. Come back refreshed |
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"From the green arrow it’s clear you have been feeling this way for some time, a year at least. But you are still on the site. So is it the site, or are you feeling down anyway? "
Wow forgot all about post history... said exact same thing like a year ago ffs!!
Okay clearly I need to draw a line with this crap, sorry folks my bad for wasting your time! |
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"I'm not 28 anymore but if I was I'd focus on the real world and not fabs. There are plenty of gorgeous women in bars, clubs and Primark that need your attention. "
Absolutely agree! The swinger lifestyle as a whole, is primarily based around couples. This is why there are so few single ladies in here, or the swinger clubs! Always remember this place is an extra to life, not ‘all there is’ ! You’ll meet more women in your local Wetherspoons, than you will in here  |
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"From the green arrow it’s clear you have been feeling this way for some time, a year at least. But you are still on the site. So is it the site, or are you feeling down anyway?
Wow forgot all about post history... said exact same thing like a year ago ffs!!
Okay clearly I need to draw a line with this crap, sorry folks my bad for wasting your time!"
You’re not wasting anyone’s time. I was just asking if feeling low was something more than just this site getting you down. Talking about it is always a good idea |
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"The real world ain’t any better. "
I couldn’t message you privately, so apologies for the slight thread hijack….
As a single guy in here, it really isn’t ‘easy’ to meet women. It’s not much ‘easier’ in the swinging clubs either (despite what many will preach), as there just aren’t that many single women interested in the swinging lifestyle.
I don’t have difficulty meeting, approaching, chatting with women outside of Fab. Outside of here (or a swinger club), I’m just a regular guy, with a cheeky smile, and good humour. In here (or a club), I’m just a horny bloke looking to get my leg over…. 
Your profile text could use a little rewrite mate, the P.S. and P.P.S. lines are unnecessary, just include them in to your main text. Also; women like to see eyes and smiles if you’re happy to post public face pics |
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Think you may be falling into the same trap as so many other guys on here...
Don't look at fab as a dating site! so many guys sign up to this site, not just because its free, but because they are expecting it to be an easy way to get laid. Of course us swingers love sex, that's why we do it...but it's also about the lifestyle too, and we're not just out here looking to fuck everybody.
If you come here on fab and want some success, then you can't just spend your time browsing and messaging on this site expecting it to just happen...like I said, it's a lifestyle, and therefore you need to explore it as a whole, and treat fab for it is...social media for swingers.
If you are seriously wanting to explore the swinging lifestyle, then you're going to have to put your shoes on and go to some clubs and events, go with no expectations to play and treat it as a way to get yourself known, chat and connect with people and then use fab as a tool to compliment that. We have played with plenty of people that aren't even on fab, and some that are but had no verifications...simply because they were there at the right place and right time.
We wish you the best of luck and hope you stay positive, but please....treat this like tinder and expect people to swipe left on you continuously. |
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Online is toxic, full stop.
Sounds like you’re having a bad time of it dude.
Easy to say, difficult to do -don’t let it let you down mate.
Your worth isn’t defined by how much interest you get on here.
Research done about online dating in general shows
64% of men feel insecure using online dating apposed to 40 % of women. US data.
U.K. population is 51% women 49% men.
…that’s not the breakdown on here.
…theres sooooo manny more men than women.
Which is great if you’re a woman …well is it? It sounds like they’re bombarded/inundated.
Which funnily is reflected in the statistics…
54% of women feel overwhelmed and 25% of men ?
Which means to me all men want the ‘top’ 50 % of the most attractive women on here and dismiss the rest. Where as all the women want the top quarter most attractive men and dismiss the rest ?
I mean why settle for less right?
Add into the mix the skewed population ratio
You’re better off irl mate -visit a club
And if you’re feeling really bad talk to someone …Samaritans , loads of help out there
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"The real world ain’t any better. "
I'm surprised that not more have caught on to this truth.
Success is far more likely to be down to to what sort of personality etc. you possess rather than where you go looking.
I really can't believe that if you aren't managing on here you will somehow pull by going into Wetherspoons, for example, and using the same instincts being relied on while trying to use Fab (I use the word 'You' generally and not with reference to any particular poster).
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It’s true it’s very hard these days especially for someone with severe social anxiety I find it hard to approach people and talk to them and I know the feeling of no confidence but how I look at it “it can’t get any worse “ sending messages and not getting even notice makes you feel that way but chin up and keep on pushing |
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