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My ass isn’t community property
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Hi everyone,
I’m an experienced swinger and have been to many clubs. Over the years, I’ve dealt with men touching, grabbing, or slapping my ass without consent - and I always address it directly with a clear boundary.
Lately though, I’ve noticed more women doing the same thing - touching me without asking - and I’m finding it harder to call that out. When a man does it, my reaction is instinctive: I give a firm, no-nonsense warning. But when it’s a woman, I find myself hesitating, almost feeling like I can’t say something. In the back of my mind, I keep thinking - as a woman, you should know better.
It happened again last weekend. I gave her a clear “wtf?!” look, and she just laughed and said, “sorry, I just couldn’t resist.”
I hate to sound like a prude, but it’s getting really frustrating.
Has anyone else experienced this? And how have you handled those situations, particularly when it’s another woman crossing the line?
Thanks for any insight! |
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"I’ve experienced similar with other women - there seems to be a train of thought that it’s ok woman to woman. I find it very irritating.
L"
Oh! I deal with it the same way I do a man - I say please don’t touch me without asking and move away. A second time, I’d say something to staff.
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"Hi everyone,
I’m an experienced swinger and have been to many clubs. Over the years, I’ve dealt with men touching, grabbing, or slapping my ass without consent - and I always address it directly with a clear boundary.
Lately though, I’ve noticed more women doing the same thing - touching me without asking - and I’m finding it harder to call that out. When a man does it, my reaction is instinctive: I give a firm, no-nonsense warning. But when it’s a woman, I find myself hesitating, almost feeling like I can’t say something. In the back of my mind, I keep thinking - as a woman, you should know better.
It happened again last weekend. I gave her a clear “wtf?!” look, and she just laughed and said, “sorry, I just couldn’t resist.”
I hate to sound like a prude, but it’s getting really frustrating.
Has anyone else experienced this? And how have you handled those situations, particularly when it’s another woman crossing the line?
Thanks for any insight!"
Why do you find it more difficult to call out a woman who gropes your bottom when you have no qualms doing it if a guy does it. We treat everyone as equally as possible no Matter what gender they are. If they do something they shouldn't then they deserve the consequences for thre actions |
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When I started doing bar work in college, nearly every time I collected glasses from dancefloor I would get full on groped. I got grabbed by the balls so many times it stopped being funny fairly quickly. I remember saying to bouncers that if I was a women they would be kicked out of club and it would be serious sexual assault. |
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By *renzMan 6 days ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
I think you need to ask yourself why you differentiate between women and men? They're both doing the exact same thing and it obviously annoys you and quite rightly so. As you point out, you're not public property and it's not consensual. Men should know better, more so women, because they should know how you feel. What's good for one (gender) is good for the other. |
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By *aizyWoman 5 days ago
west midlands |
You are not being a prude at all. The only time I have ever had a problem in a club was with a woman who would not take no for an answer, she seemed to think she had every right to touch me because she was a woman, I treated her like I would if it was a man doing it, she got told in no uncertain terms to do one. |
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I used to get this too - a playful love tap from women, but I didn't really mind it as it was playful, it didn't come across as sleazy, it felt like another woman praising my booty and I would giggle and say thank you.
But if she kept on doing it I might start feeling uncomfortable and say "let's stop that now yes" with a finger point.
Groping = no
Forceful = no
A hard spank = no
Not accepted by any gender |
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Obviously sexuallity also has no bearing on if this is OK or not. However as a spin off from this it seem many women in a club seem to assume all women are bi until proven otherwise. Which I imagine can be a frustration of many straight women, especially when these women are being very forward with their assumptions.
Mr |
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I think the world has changed in terms of how people perceive what is acceptable these days and not.
Dee was out with some friends a few weeks ago in Lichfield and got chatting to another woman for a good while, during the conversation she put her hand on Dee’s bum and gently caressed it whilst they chatted, Dee is bi and easy-going so she didn't mind, but the other woman could see Dee had a wedding ring on and Dee told her she was married but it didn’t seem to bother her.
It was obvious this woman fancied Dee and wanted to have sex with her, when she told me the next day I thought it was, how should I put it ‘quite different’ but in reality is it any different than all the men she’s encountered over the years that have done the same thing.
It’s about boundaries and what you are comfortable with or not, be it the other person be male or female.
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