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Cross dressing dilemmas
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I wanted to ask some opinions on cross dressing and attitudes towards us.
I have also had a man profile, then a couple profile. She's totally cool with me dressing, it's just something we're keeping separate certainly for now. We're CNM so can explore separately.
Are there assumptions on whether someone CDing is automatically the sub/bottom role? Does this shape the dynamic of those looking to meet a CD? It seems it to me particularly with interactions with couples.
Does porn give an altered expectation of a CD? Leading to disappointment when I turn up to get changed into Melissa in jeans, t shirt and no makeup. I know I don't help this by having no public face pictures.
I wanted to pose these questions, as although I'm not short of interactions on here, the reality is getting harder to match the fantasy (both ways)
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"It seems that most of the CDs and TVs that I encounter are dowdy and wanting to be used rather than a mutual all fun encounter. Not entirely sure why that is. "
That's my experience certainly most of the time. Some absolute gems of compatibility though, are the exception to the rule. |
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My impression/experience is that most ppl are looking for versatile tgirls, quite often guys want oral both ways. Being passive when en femme seems to put some couples, tgirls and guys off (me).
I don't think transforming on arrival is a problem. I always turn up for meets dolled up and that also puts ppl off if neighbours will see me arrive. People who are seriously comfortable with this scene, will be ok with you transforming and may indeed prefer that for discretion. Yeah sure newbies might not even want you to talk to preserve the illusion of femininity but apart from them, I have found ppl generally very understanding of folk arriving in male mode.
Cx
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When I meet a dresser I'm only top, but I'd rather they weren't too sub. I prefer it when we treat each other as equal partners, and I'm certainly not into verbally abusing a partner. Despite being top only I enjoy giving oral and playing with a cock, and also rimming. Everyone I've met so far has already been dressed but I don't think I'd have a problem meeting someone who was in male mode and then dressed. |
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I get my kicks from pleasuring others. I'm in chastity, and I've come to almost enjoy the sexual frustration that brings. Certainly when I'm with a meet.
I've no interest in fucking either men or women, & I know that puts some off me. |
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"My impression/experience is that most ppl are looking for versatile tgirls, quite often guys want oral both ways. Being passive when en femme seems to put some couples, tgirls and guys off (me).
I don't think transforming on arrival is a problem. I always turn up for meets dolled up and that also puts ppl off if neighbours will see me arrive. People who are seriously comfortable with this scene, will be ok with you transforming and may indeed prefer that for discretion. Yeah sure newbies might not even want you to talk to preserve the illusion of femininity but apart from them, I have found ppl generally very understanding of folk arriving in male mode.
Cx
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Pretty much this exactly, it all depends on who you are meeting. Make sure you ask about what you find important to ensure compatibility. Usually when I have had a "bad" meet it is because I didn't make clear/find out what was expected. Although with some an impromptu meet has led to a wonderful time too.
Be safe, be sensible, enjoy being who you are. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I think unfortunately there are definitely assumptions and stereotyping on those who CD. I also believe that is enforced by those who don't "fully" cd... There is such a spectrum and some will give others a bad rep. Unfortunately I can't think of a better way of explaining that.
But yes I think they expect a CD to be more sub/bottom role. Of course preconceived ideas or expectations will the dynamic of those looking to meet a CD? I used to meet as A CD many years back and I was regularly assumed that I would bottom. But I clearly stated I'm Vers and would not stand for any degradation.
As for the appearance side of things. Yes porn and glamour has brought on these unrealistic expectations. That's the reason I stopped dreading because I could never achieve the feminine appearance I wanted. I looked fabulous from the face down. X
I'm not sure if I've contributed anything useful, but I would say that there will be people out there that will treat you equally and openly communicate their expectations and listen to yours. Xx |
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"
I think unfortunately there are definitely assumptions and stereotyping on those who CD. I also believe that is enforced by those who don't "fully" cd... There is such a spectrum and some will give others a bad rep. Unfortunately I can't think of a better way of explaining that.
But yes I think they expect a CD to be more sub/bottom role."
This is true. I'm not sure I'm an 'enforcer', but there again do I 'fully CD' because I don't try and look fem?
I am however, quite sub. And I do get a lot of men who think that I'll top if we meet. Which is... normally a no.
It's a spectrum. For sure.
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By *ndisMan 8 weeks ago
Liverpool |
I like to dress up! Not convincing and more on the hpw side. But would love to meet a cd/tv/ts who would like to top me when I am dressed up. Not really found anyone interested. But the search goes on. |
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"I dress when I arrive for a meet, I'm versatile and love to top, I find most guys assume that you are sub because you dress, "
I do get messages from guys wanting me to top them. When it's a couple, there often seems more assumption that I'll be sub because I'm presenting fem. |
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Hmmm. I only want to be seen as Candi by all I meet and play with 👠💋💄
Unless it’s a Dom female who’s want to eradicate the male me …
Then I’ll let her take my male side and turn me into her doll ..
I’m pillow princess but will be a active participant with couples
That make me a bottom I guess ! X |
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The ones I’ve spoken to definitely seem more interested in fulfilling the male porn fantasy than any other demographic on Fab.
I’ve honestly been taken by surprise how aggressive the approach was 😂 I actually blocked them for a while until I started mucking about in the forums and I removed the filter to chat and interact with forum fun.
To be honest they make up about 90 % of messages I receive (as in random messages out of the blue) and some of the profiles are amazing.
I probably do moderately well for attention from woman and couples (as a single guy at least) but for some guys they represent the only positive attention their profile might receive. Combined with the willingness to please I can honestly see why they are so successful.
Not sure I will ever take the step myself, but I do appreciate the positive reviews of my profile. |
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Ive turned up with full underwear, stockings an top already on under hoodie an joggers. Just whip them off throw on a mini skirt an heels. People ok with it if you explain you cant arrive fully dressed x |
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I wish that people who contact me would think I'm sub.
I've had a number of aborted meets where despite previous communication they think that I'm ok to top them.
I've found meets, and definitely regulars are happy for me to nip to their spare room, get ready and call them up.
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I'm not sub, and have very few people expect we to be,
We're all different, I do get a percentage that want me to be dom, more want an Aunty.
I like to arrive dressed, and happy to dress down, most people I meet are happy with that, it sometimes sorts the wheat from the chaff
Some people must think we're stupid, most couples turn out that "She" is away/unavailable and can I fuck him?
Grrr |
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By *avstarTV/TS 4 weeks ago
Northampton |
My profile makes it fairly clear that i'm sub with guys, but i am more switchy with other dressers and women/couples. The second part isn't on my profile, but i'd always expect to have a discussion about it when messaging with people (guys, CDs, women or couples) so that expectations are set and nobody feels let down.
As far as how i arrive, i always prefer to turn up as Tara because that's who they're wanting/expecting to meet lol. If somebody is adamant that they want me to dress/get ready once i'm there, then i'm hesitant to meet because i don't want to be rushed when i'm dressing and doing makeup.
As always, each to their own and as long as you're having fun there's no right/wrong way to do it lol |
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"Some people must think we're stupid, most couples turn out that "She" is away/unavailable and can I fuck him?
Grrr"
Very, very common.
'She' has disappeared, although maybe she actually once existed and 'he' has now developed a liking for CDs as he's not picky, has the house to himself and loves anal.
But... he also wants the cock himself...
This whole scenario is quite common and I've yet to completely unpick it.
Was the couple ever a thing?
Did she bail 'cause he wanted the cock?
Who knows!
Best to avoid as soon as you identify it...
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